


More Than a Feeling

by RedButterfly33



Series: Lisa Fawley Stories [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Action/Adventure, Drama, F/M, First War with Voldemort, Friendship, Marauders' Era, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-05-17 17:28:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 34
Words: 112,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14836023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedButterfly33/pseuds/RedButterfly33
Summary: "I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride; I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close."





	1. Insecurities

Lisa breathed heavily, trying to shake the uncomfortable feeling that always followed Apparition. She looked around the dirty dark street and immediately oriented herself, heading to the familiar building. After a quick glance at the row of windows, she found the one she was looking for, and since there were no pebbles in the back streets of London, she levitated a discarded can and knocked it against the glass repeatedly. In a couple of minutes, a pair of hands lifted the window open, and the sleepy, disheveled head of Dorcas Meadowes peered down at her.

"A bit late for a visit, don't you think?" the brunette hissed.

"You're up anyway." Lisa shrugged. "Meet me outside?"

Dorcas rolled her eyes with annoyance and went back inside. Lisa moved to sit at the stairs to the apartment building, sinking into her unpleasant thoughts. After a few minutes, Dorcas walked out in her purple dressing gown, carrying a six-pack of Appletiser. Her muggle dad was crazy about the stuff, and their home always had it in abundance. She sat down beside her best friend and was about to scold her for waking her up in the middle of the night when a passing car illuminated the blonde witch's saddened face and made her reconsider.

"So what happened?" Dorcas asked, handing her a bottle.

"I was a downright bint, that's what happened," said Lisa bitterly.

"Was it that bad?"

"Worse."

Lisa sank into her own miserable thoughts again as Dorcas opened a bottle for herself and took a sip.

"So are you gonna tell me, or do I go learn Legilimency?"

Lisa sighed deeply. "We got into a fight."

"I gathered that much."

"And I broke up with him."

Dorcas choked on her drink. "You  _what_?! Why?"

Lisa groaned miserably and buried her face in her knees. "He was being... well,  _Remus_ , and started talking about splitting up again."

"What's the big deal? He talks about that all the time."

"That's exactly it! I'm tired of having the same conversation over and over again! I keep repeating the same exact things, and he keeps bringing up that one and only argument – that he's not good enough for me! It grades on the nerves after a while, you know?"

"So you ran your mouth off again?"

"I couldn't help it! He pissed me off!"

"And you decided breaking up with him would fix it?"

"Yes! No! I just... I was angry, and I sort of..." Lisa trailed off miserably.

Dorcas nodded in understanding. "You do have a mouth on you. Remember in fourth year when you called me a 'dirty slapper'?"

Lisa looked stunned. "I did that? When?!"

"After you found out I snogged Fabian Prewett. You used to have a crush on him, remember? You threw a  _book_  at me."

Lisa chuckled lightly. "Oh, yeah. Wasn't that two days after he asked  _me_  out?"

"One date doesn't necessarily mean commitment. Need I remind you of your experience with Seth Tenley?"

"You also broke up with him after that, if I remember correctly."

Dorcas shrugged. "I wasn't  _that_  into him. It was for the best."

Lisa's face fell again. "That's what Remus kept saying. That it would be better this way for everyone... that it was what he wanted... and... I don't know what happened. I just snapped."

They were quiet again for a bit.

"... You know he didn't mean it, right?" Dorcas asked quietly.

"Of course I know that! He's just insecure. But it's a pain in the bum to put him back together  _every single time_  he falls apart! It happens once a week!" Lisa exclaimed in frustration.

Dorcas sipped from her drink thoughtfully. "Did  _you_  mean what you said?"

Lisa sighed. "No. You know I didn't. But I hurt him, Cass. I could see it in his eyes."

"Then you best go apologize."

"I wanted to cool off a bit first. Another screaming match won't do either of us any favors."

Dorcas sighed but put an arm around her friend. "What is it with you Gryffindors? Are anger issues a prerequisite to being sorted there? I swear, hanging out with you lot is like walking around a firework factory with a lit cigarette."

Lisa managed a weak laugh.

* * *

Remus paced around his room, feeling like he would go mad any second. He had always thought that because of what he was, he could never be close to anyone romantically. Not many girls tried to get close to him, but he immediately turned down those that did. During last year, he constantly wanted to kick himself for slipping in regards to Lisa, for letting himself want her. When they had finally gotten together four months ago, he couldn't believe how happy he felt, being able to hold her and kiss her and look at her as much as he wanted, but the fear was ever-present. The fear that she would see him for what he was, the fear others could find out and she'd suffer for it and worst of all – the fear he might hurt her.

He still remembered meeting her while transformed, lunging at her, wanting to bite, to claw, to kill her. The memory haunted his nightmares, even after all this time. What if it happened again? If he harmed her, he would never forgive himself. He tried to break it off many times, always afraid in the back of his mind that she would agree and leave him. And that was exactly what happened.

He told himself again and again that it was what had to be done, that someone like him could never be worthy of love, but now that she was gone, he  _missed her,_  so badly it felt like he was losing himself. He felt so vulnerable without her, like a child, lost in the woods, like he didn't know how to  _be_  without her anymore. All he wanted was to run, to find her, to hold her close and never let go again.

Tangling his fingers in his hair, he pulled painfully, trying to regain some semblance of control over himself. She was gone, and he was alone, and that was how it had to be.

Suddenly, there was a faint  _pop,_  and Lisa materialized in the room. It took every single ounce of self-control he had not to scoop her in his arms and beg her to never leave him again. She breathed out a sad sigh and slowly approached, reaching out to hug him.

He forced himself to take a step back. "You made the right decision."

For a second, anger flashed in her eyes, and he thought she might slap him. Then she flung herself forward and wrapped her arms around his neck tightly.

"Shut up," she muttered in his shoulder.

"Lisa..."

"Don't. Just don't." She placed a kiss on his neck, then behind his earlobe, and then his cheek. "I love you. Forget everything else."

"I can't," he whispered, wondering why he kept doing this to himself. She pulled back slightly to look at him.

"Alright then. Don't forget. I've seen the best of you, and I've seen the worst of you, and I have made an educated choice. I want to be with you."

"Why?" He caught himself slipping again. "Why do you love someone like me?"

She gazed deeply into his green eyes. "There doesn't have to be a reason."

She kissed him gently, and it was so sweet, so  _right_ , he felt whole again. His arms rose to envelop her, his lips moved to reciprocate, and his heart ached to be closer to hers. Her fingers tangled in his hair slowly, tracing over the spot on the back of his neck that made him shiver. The ache in his chest intensified; his breathing became more ragged, and one of his hands roamed her back urgently while the other stroke the side of her neck. The sheer  _need_  overwhelmed him as she sighed his name softly, and his hands ran over the smooth skin of her back, riding up her Montrose Magpies jersey. Desperation flared up inside him, a desire to caress and taste and  _feel_  every last inch of her. Sensing he was about to cross a clear line he had drawn for himself, Remus broke the kiss and buried his head in the crease of her neck.

"I love you," he whispered against her skin.

* * *

Lisa woke up the next morning and sleepily pulled herself up. The sun was low on the horizon, meaning she still had time to sneak back home before her parents noticed she wasn't in her room. Not that she spent that much time in it since the summer break started, anyway. Most nights she simply cuddled up to Remus, because his warm, steadily breathing body was the only thing that even remotely made her feel at home. Her parents had moved her sister's bed out of the room, but the emptiness was still there. Lisa just couldn't handle falling asleep in a place that held so many memories.

She looked down at her boyfriend's sleeping face and chuckled to herself a bit, seeing a thin stream of saliva drip from the edge of his mouth, all the way to his chin. She kissed him lightly and carefully got out of bed. Scribbling a quick note on his nightstand, she threw him one last look and Disapparated.

Materializing in her room, Lisa climbed into her own cold bed with a heavy sigh, laid there and waited for her mother to call for breakfast.

* * *

On the 1st of September, Frank came to take Lisa to platform 9 ¾. Mr. and Mrs. Fawley were still on the Death Eaters' hit list for leaking their names to the press, so they decided it would be too dangerous to send her off, considering many of Voldemort's followers could be there. Having just been accepted into the Auror program, her cousin was the perfect candidate for the job.

"Be careful, sweetheart," Mrs. Fawley said, squeezing Lisa's stiff body in a tight hug and straightening her jacket.

"And take this with you," Mr. Fawley added, handing her a light, soft package. She stared at it in surprise.

"... The Invisibility cloak? Isn't it against the rules to bring it to school?" Frank called from her side.

"Rules aren't that important right now," her father insisted. "You never know if..."

"Dad. Dumbledore is at Hogwarts. Right now, it's the safest place there is," Lisa stated dully.

"I want you to keep it with you at all times. Just in case."

Lisa shrugged and put the cloak in her luggage. After giving her grandparents much more cordial goodbyes, she and Frank flooed to the Leaky Cauldron.

"It wasn't their fault, you know," he said after the two of them got into a muggle taxi. "You can't be cross with them forever."

"I'm not trying to be," Lisa replied through gritted teeth.

"Oh, really? Because it seems to me you are."

She looked out the window, refusing to say anything.

"They loved her too," Frank said in a low voice.

Lisa's angry gaze snapped to meet his, and her vision was getting blurry. "Then they shouldn't have let her die!"

"You really think they didn't do everything they could?" he asked calmly. "What did you think, that they sent a few spells at the Death Eaters, then decided to call is a day and left Julie there?" At the mention of her sister's name, the tears in Lisa's eyes overflew and slowly made their way down her cheeks. "It was dark; they were vastly outnumbered and caught completely off guard. She was in a different room, Death Eaters were everywhere... They did everything they could to save her."

Lisa's hands flew to cover her ears, but Frank grasped them firmly and pulled them down. "You need to hear this. You have to come to terms with Julie's death, and you have to forgive your parents." She broke down into sobs while her cousin just stared at her sadly. "I miss her too," he said. "But you blaming Uncle Rob and Aunt Dawn won't accomplish anything."

"Th-they were there!" Lisa shouted. "They w-were there and they  _l-let her die!_ "

"You know that's not true. They loved Julie too."

"If they loved her, they would've protected her!"

"Sometimes things are just out of your control. Would you have felt better if they died too, in an empty attempt to save her?"

"At least I'd know they tried! If I were there, I would have never left without her!"

"And you would've gotten yourself killed!" Frank snapped, finally raising his voice and making her stare in shock. "You need to learn to stop running right into danger! You have to start  _thinking_ , before your stupidity kills someone!"

Lisa gaped at him, eyes still wet with tears. She knew he was referencing last year, when she almost died running straight onto the Forbidden Forest in a foolish attempt to save Dorcas. If it wasn't for Frank and the rest of the Defenders, a group formed within the school to protect muggle-borns from attacks, both she  _and_  Dorcas probably wouldn't have made it out alive.

"In the real world, you can't always save everyone," Frank said with a sigh. "You need to learn when it's time to cut your losses. Pointless heroics will only end in more death."

The taxi stopped in front of King's Cross Station, and the two cousins got out, with Frank quickly adjusting the driver's memory to think they talked about proper turnip care the whole way. They made their way to the Hogwarts Express where he helped her get her luggage up in an empty compartment.

"Hey!" Dorcas greeted, appearing at the door. "You okay?" she added, seeing her friend's reddened eyes and that Remus wasn't around.

Lisa nodded and hugged Frank goodbye.

"Think about what I said," he told her.

"... Alright. Be careful out there. And write often!"

Frank patted her head, waved to Dorcas and left to find Alice before it was time to get off the train. The two girls settled across each other and watched the various families say goodbye to their children.

"So... Frank got into the Auror program, huh?" Dorcas started. Lisa nodded shortly. "Why isn't Lupin with you?"

"We agreed it'd be best if we arrived separately. Neither of us wants people to know my family is hiding near his."

The brunette nodded in understanding just as the compartment door slid open again, and Lily and Marlene walked in, followed shortly by Dorcas' friends Nataly Prior and Dahlia Fleur-Peri. The girls talked pleasantly about their vacations and Lily's new Head Girl-ship, purposefully ignoring the Voldemort-related incidents. No one talked about Julie's death, and even as Alice eventually joined them, they didn't mention the news about Mary McDonald in the paper two weeks ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This, as you may have guessed, is the sequel to "There doesn't have to be a reason", continuing the story of Remus and Lisa. If you are new to this story, feel free to read the prequel, though it's not necessary. Outside of a few references here and there, I'll try to make it so you don't need to have any previous knowledge, and I'll explain everything so that you are not left confused. Rated E for explicit adult content in later chapters.


	2. The Order of the Phoenix

Lily cried most of the night. Trying not to talk about it worked about up until the girls entered their dormitory after the Welcoming Feast to see only four beds. Marlene showed surprising maturity by not mentioning it and diving head first into gossip as she usually did. Alice's eyes were red, but she had the sense to cast a silencing charm on her curtains before going to bed. Dumbledore's speech this year placed a strong emphasis on not spreading panic and being strong for the sake of others, so Lisa tried not to show it too, but she couldn't help the tears that slid down to her pillowcase as she lay in the dark behind her bed curtains.

After Mary was Imperiused into torturing her last year, the two of them had drifted farther and farther apart. Mary avoided her out of guilt, and, as much as Lisa insisted of the opposite, she was a bit resentful. The curse  _could_  be resisted after all, and she was told the torture went on for a while before Alice found them. But now that she was gone, Lisa felt guilty for not making more of an effort, for not completely burying the hatchet like she'd said she had. Now she would never get the chance.

* * *

On the second week of term, James held tryouts because their Beater, Jason Page, graduated last year. Most that showed up were pitiful, but he had somehow managed to convince Sirius to try out, and Lisa didn't know if it was because he spent the summer flying with James or because he was just that good, but he blew the competition out of the water. Unfortunately, Eddie Cornhill was still on the team too. He whined for about fifteen minutes how friends of the captain got into the team with no effort until Lisa whacked him over the head with the Quaffle, explaining in-between giggles that she was trying to pass to Adrian Fleet.

"Last year... it wasn't  _me_  that made you nervous on the pitch, was it?" Sirius whispered to her once they were on the ground. Her whole face went red at the memories, and she nodded, sending him into a bark-like fit of laughter. "Speaking of distractions..." he added, inclining his head at the wind-blown silky mass of black hair coming their way.

"Hey Lisa. Brought you some breakfast, you barely had any," Dorcas said and handed her friend a napkin with a few crumpets. "What... is that?" She wrinkled her nose, sniffing the air suspiciously.

"What's what?" Lisa asked, confused.

"That smell. Like... a wet dog."

Sirius laughed. "That would be me. Worked up quite a sweat sending Bludgers at Cornhill's head. Excuse me, ladies."

He bowed his head in mock courtesy, flashed them a grin and headed to the showers. Dorcas stared after him as if he had thrown his bat at her.

"You okay?" Lisa asked, amused, taking a bite from a crumpet.

"... Yeah..." Dorcas said slowly. "Fine. So... Black's the new Beater, huh? That's... interesting."

"Not really," Lisa said, starting for the locker rooms as well. "Thanks for the crumpets. See you in the Library later?"

Dorcas nodded, still looking a bit distracted, and headed to the castle. Half an our later, Lisa found her alone in the Library.

"So what was that whole 'smell' business about?" Lisa cut straight to the chase, sitting down next to her.

"Nothing much," Dorcas said, not looking up from her homework. "I'm just in love with Sirius Black."

Lisa almost fell off her chair. " _What?_ "

"His sweat. It's what I smell in Amortentia."

"His  _sweat_?" Lisa repeated with disgust.

"I don't  _pick_  what I smell. I haven't been able to put my finger on what it was for a while, but now I got it."

"When would you have even smelled...?" Lisa trailed off, but a memory shone to the forefront of her mind. "You mean... on that Defenders patrol last year? Need I remind you how stupid it was to snog in cupboards when you were supposed to be keeping an eye out for muggle-born attacks!?"

"No."

"So what now? Are you going after him? You helped me with Remus last year, so if you need advice..."

Dorcas snorted. "I like to think I'm not quite  _that_  desperate."

"Excuse me for trying to help," Lisa huffed indignantly.

"If I wanted to be with Sirius, it would be a simple enough thing to do. But I don't."

"But you  _just_  said—"

"I'm infatuated with him. It'll pass."

A silence stretched over the table.

"And what if it doesn't?" Lisa asked quietly.

"I'll think about that bridge when I get to it."

"Cass!"

Dorcas finally put the quill down and looked at her friend with a heavy sigh. "Look. I don't want to be with someone like Sirius. He changed 'girlfriends' seven times since that night in the broom cupboard. I want... well, I want what you have."

"Me? You want a boyfriend you have to convince to stay with you every week?" Lisa scoffed.

"I want someone who will only have eyes for me. I know what you're gonna say," she added quickly, seeing the Gryffindor was about to interrupt. "I go on many dates, and I snog people in dark corners. But that's only for fun. For an actual relationship, I want someone more mature and dependable that Sirius Black. He's just... not boyfriend material."

Dorcas returned to scribbling on her parchment while Lisa thought over what she just said.

"Aren't you at least going to give him a chance? He could change..."

"I don't need a  _project_." Dorcas rolled her eyes. "I need someone I can count on. And that someone just isn't Sirius."

* * *

Remus was rushing down the hall to make it to Care for Magical Creatures when a yelp escaping from the empty classroom to his right caught his attention. He backtracked carefully, pulling out his wand.

"Wait! I swear I'm not muggle-born! Please don't hurt me!" a girl's shrill voice sounded though the door.

Remus immediately swung it open and stunned Avery and Gott, who were pointing their wands at a short-haired brunette cowering against a desk.

"You alright?" Remus asked, handing her back her wand. As she nodded weakly, he looked back at the Death Eaters. It was odd that they were torturing a girl who was a half-blood, not to mention in the middle of the day, running a high risk of being overheard.

"Thanks, Remus," the girl said with a weak smile.

"No problem," he replied, realizing it was Piper Spudgen, a sixth year Gryffindor. "See you around." He waved and started for the door.

"Wait!" she called after him. "Will you... will you walk me to Transfiguration?"

He shot her a surprised look but recovered quickly and nodded with a courteous smile.

* * *

Lisa, James and Sirius climbed through the portrait hole on Thursday night, wet to the bone and covered in mud. Lisa collapsed on the couch with a groan, her head landing in Remus' lap.

"So how was practice?" he asked innocently, peering at her behind the cover of the book he was reading. She reached for a crumpled piece of parchment discarded on the table and chucked it at his head.

"I hate you, James," Lisa grunted at her Captain. "Why did you have to schedule it  _in the rain_?"

"Fawley's got a point, mate," Sirius chimed in, sinking into the armchair next to Peter's. "I reckon the whole team will mutiny after this."

"The Slytherins are training in sunshine and in snow, and I'll be  _damned_  before I let them swipe the Cup from under us!" James insisted as one of the sixth years approached from behind and tapped Remus on the shoulder.

"Hi," she said with a pink blush. "I'm having trouble with my Transfiguration. Will you help me?"

He stared at her blankly for a second before he answered. "Sorry Piper, I'm rather busy at the moment. Why don't you ask one of your classmates?"

"It's a very hard spell... no one in my year has mastered it yet... so I thought... because you're a prefect and such a brilliant wizard and all..." she fumbled, playing with her tie. The Marauders exchanged amused glances and stared at Lisa, whose eyebrows were so up her forehead they almost blended with her hair.

"James made Head Boy this year, and he's better at Transfiguration than I am." Remus smiled at the girl, inclining his head towards his friend. "I'm sure he'll be happy to help you as soon as he dries himself."

"S-sure, I guess," she said shyly and glanced at the Gryffindor Captain.

"Not tonight, sorry. Quidditch practice was pretty rough," James told her. She mumbled an 'okay' and walked away, a bit disheartened.

The Marauders stared at Lisa wearily.

"What was that about?" she asked and pushed herself into a sitting position, trying to remain calm.

"Piper Spudgen. I helped her out yesterday, and she seems to have taken a liking to me," Remus replied casually, turning a page in his book.

" _Taken a liking?_  If this room was empty right now she would've pushed you up against the wall!"

"She seems too timid to be pushing people against walls," Remus noted calmly.

"Oh please, as if she could've been more obvious!  _'You're such a_ _ **brilliant**_ _wizard and all',_ " Lisa imitated her mockingly.

Remus looked up from the book with an amused smile on his face. " _You_  called me that once, if I recall correctly."

"Well... she was... I was... that was completely different!" Lisa protested, getting red in the face. The Marauders tried to stifle their snickering, but it wasn't working.

"It's only because I saved her from Gott and Avery. There's nothing to be jealous about," he said reassuringly.

"Who says I'm jealous!?"

The Marauders erupted in laughter, drawing the attention of half the common room.

* * *

The whole Piper thing was soon forgotten when on Friday Lily and James came back from their Head duties coordinating the prefects. Lisa was passing a Fangled Frisbee with Sirius, after about an hour of him whining he was bored, when they approached, both sporting grim expressions.

"What took you guys so long? And where's Remus?" Lisa asked, seeing their dark expressions.

"Dorm," James said shortly and headed up the stairs. Lisa, Sirius and Peter exchanged confused glances, but they followed him and Lily.

"Did something happen?" Peter asked.

"You can say that," Lily replied, glancing at James.

"We got called into Dumbledore's office. Moony's still there," the Head Boy started. "He  _knows_."

"Knows what?" Sirius said, suddenly alarmed.

"Everything. About the Defenders, about the Scuffle for the Sword last year and what Voldemort wants from Remus."

A long, stunned silence filled the room.

"So what... I mean, what's going to happen?" Lisa asked.

"He... Dumbledore, he wants us to... help him," Lily explained. "He told us he knew what we did last year, and that someone who does something similar hasn't contacted him in too long. He wants us to ask for volunteers... for a rescue mission."

No one said anything for a while.

"So... a chance to fight  _real_  Death Eaters?" Peter asked shrilly.

James nodded and looked at everyone in turn, eyes burning with determination. "I don't know about you lot, but I'm going. Someone was trying to help Dumbledore, to do the  _right thing_ , and now they're in trouble. I'm in."

He stretched out his hand and held it in the air. Lily put her palm on his almost immediately, smiling at him sadly. Lisa, Peter and Sirius exchanged glances, not wanting to break this romantic moment, but Lisa put her hand on Lily's, followed by Sirius.

"Pete?" James beckoned quietly. Peter's face was pale, and his hands were shaking in his lap as his watery blue eyes shifted nervously from face to face.

"You don't have to..." Lisa tried to suggest carefully. He would only be a hindrance if they forced him into it anyway.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Don't be a coward, Wormtail."

Peter jumped as if his friend had shouted the words at him. "Y-Yes, of c-course I'm in!" he squeaked, his hand quickly joining the others.

"So we agree? We're all doing it?" James wanted to make sure. Everyone nodded.

James wrote in the notebook the Defenders used to coordinate their schedules to tell them about Dumbledore's mission. There were four notebooks, each held by a person in a different house, linked magically so what was written in one appeared in all the others. A condition the Headmaster had placed was that only those who could Apparate could participate, and most seventh years were too busy with N.E.W.T.s to think about missions and defending these days. By the time they were expected to show up at Dumbledore's office for the details, the only Ravenclaw who considered helping more important than exams was Fabian Prewett. Dorcas tried to pry the other three Defenders from Slytherin but in the end came alone, and no one from Hufflepuff showed, although many of the sixth and fifth years wanted to go. The Marauders all came, of course, and Lisa and Lily didn't need to waste much effort in convincing Alice, who felt exceedingly restless knowing Frank was out there while she was stuck at Hogwarts. Marlene took a bit more, but she agreed to it eventually.

At 7:30 in the evening the whole group gathered in front of the Headmaster's Office, exchanged nervous looks, and then went up together. As they neared, they could hear people arguing on the other side of the door.

James took a deep breath and knocked. "Professor? We're here."

"Ah, the Defenders." Dumbledore looked up from behind his claw-legged desk and got up hastily. McGonagall was standing near the fireplace, next to a scary-looking man with many scars on his face and a fake blue eye, which stared at their faces unnervingly.

"So that's them, eh?" the strange wizard said gruffly.

"I don't agree with this, Dumbledore!" McGonagall piped up. "They're just children!"

"Everyone here is of age, Minerva," the Headmaster said calmly, approaching the group. "But I must warn you, what you are about to embark on is extremely dangerous. It is imperative that you understand – if you agree to do this, I cannot guarantee your safety. If you wish to leave, you may do so now. No one will hold it against you."

Dumbledore's blue eyes pierced everyone in turn, but no one moved.

"Excellent," he said quietly. "Now then, let us begin. Two of our agents, Edgar Bones and Makena Bradwell, were sent to spy on a known Death Eater in order to find out a bit more about Voldemort's movements. They were supposed to report back yesterday but have failed to do so; therefore we assume they have been captured and tortured for information."

"How do you know they're still alive?" Dorcas asked.

"Because they can withstand torture," the scarred wizard growled. "And I doubt they'll be offed before the bastards squeeze  _something_  out of them."

"This is Alastor Moody," Dumbledore introduced him. "He's an Auror in the Ministry and will be the leader of your mission. Alastor, if you will..."

Moody threw some floo powder into the fire and the flames roared green. "I'll brief you once we get there," he murmured, giving James a piece of paper. "Pass that around."

And with that, he stepped into the fire and disappeared. James passed the note around and everyone read the address written on it, then one by one said it quietly into the blaze and spun out the chimney.

"Where are we?" Fabian asked, beating the soot from his robes and looking around the dimly-lit room.

"My house," Moody's voice rumbled to his right, and he moved out of the way, revealing a few people waiting in what seemed to be a living room full of Sneakoscopes and other strange Dark Arts detectors. There were heavy lids on all the windows, presumably to keep the light hidden and the nosy neighbors from finding out there was a meeting here.

Moody stepped forward, and Lisa felt like she was facing a drill sergeant.

"Now then. You've all been accepted into the Order of the Phoenix. Most of you will end up dead before you turn twenty, congratulations."

"Don't scare the kids, Mad-Eye," a jovial voice called from an armchair, and a smiling young man stepped forward to shake hands with James and Lisa.

"Gideon!" James gasped, not expecting to see the former Gryffindor Beater.

"Glad to see you passed the test, little bro," Gideon laughed, ruffling Fabian's hair and giving his cousin Alice a hug.

"Enough sentimentalities!" Moody puffed. "We must move quickly. The plan is as follows: we believe our people are held in the said Death Eater's mansion. The more experienced of the Order will draw the attention of whoever's in there while you lot will sneak in with Gideon, hopefully run through an empty house, and rescue them."

"At least let us introduce ourselves, Mad-Eye," a tall wizard from the corner said, rolling his eyes.

"We don't have time for that!" Moody snarled. "But I suppose they should at least know your names, in case you die before they have a proper chance to meet you. Listen up, you lot, that there wizard with the big mouth is Caradoc Dearborn," he said and inclined his head towards the man that had spoken, who gave them a nod. "The blond bloke next to him is Sturgis Podmore." Sturgis smiled at them. "Elphias Doge." Moody pointed to an elderly wizard with a kind expression. "The one with the ridiculous purple top hat is Dedalus Diggle, and the shifty-looking one, Mundungus Fletcher. Now, if there are no more interruptions—"

"I sure hope this Order is not comprised of only  _eight_  people," Dorcas threw in, counting every adult in the room.

"Actually, it's about ten," Gideon quipped, making the Slytherin stare at him as if he'd just breathed out flames.

"You're kidding," she said flatly. No one replied. "Ten people against Voldemort and his  _hundreds_  of Death Eaters!?"

"Times are hard, girl," Moody growled. "And the Order is still young. Our numbers will grow."

"How? By going on suicide missions; taking out a  _mansion_  full of them with only a dozen members? You're all barmy!"

"Cass," Lisa said in a low voice, squeezing her hand gently. "You knew things were bad out there. That's why we're here; someone has to fight for those who are too scared to stand up."

Dorcas stared at her friend as if she was about to go back on the whole thing, but her eyes fluttered to the faces of everyone around her, and she took three deep breaths. "Alright. Bad odds, it's not like we haven't faced those before."

Lisa smiled encouragingly and squeezed her hand again reassuringly.


	3. Death

"We'll make it through, right?" Lisa's voice was shaking as she was holding onto Remus' arm, waiting for the signal from Moody.

"Of course we will. I have to help Piper with her Transfiguration," he quipped. She let out a nervous laugh, but her eyes were getting teary. "Hey," he said, gently turning her face to him. "I promised, didn't I? No one is going to die."

She kissed him quickly, praying it wouldn't be for the last time.

"The Signal," James whispered in a strained voice when a deafening explosion sounded on the other side of the building. The teens jumped through one of the ground-level windows on the big manor house and crept forward through the dimly lit hallway. James, Lily, Lisa, Alice and Gideon heading down the corridor, while Fabian, Dorcas, Remus, Peter, Sirius and Marlene went up the stairs in order to maximize the covered ground.

Lisa's group quietly snuck down the hallway while the sounds of the battle raging outside were intensifying by the minute, until a streak of light crossed the carpet. A door at the end of the corridor was ajar.

"Perhaps, Lucius, we should think about defensive charms around your house," a low voice drawled. Lisa peered through the crack, and her blood ran cold. The spacious den was full of at least a dozen Death Eaters in black robes. Two bodies spun slowly in the air, held there upside down by some magic spell as a tall, hooded figure stood in the center, looking up at them.

"It's  _Him_ ," Gideon whispered, horrified. "And... that's Edgar and Makena."

Realization dawned in Lisa's eyes, and she shot a look of pure terror back at James, Lily and Alice. She could practically see the wheels turn in James' brain as he was feverishly thinking of a way out. Suddenly, he whipped out his wand and made a step forward.

"What're you doing!?" Gideon hissed and grabbed a hold of his wrist, but James shot him a hard look, and after a long, intense stare, the older wizard backed down.

"Send the signal to the others to Disapparate," James whispered to him. "Follow my lead," he added to Lisa, and she nodded, strangely feeling like they were preparing for a Quidditch play. She knew whatever James had in mind would be bold and crazy, so she prepared herself mentally for everything.

Not that it did her any good, because what he did wasn't crazy, it was  _absolutely insane_. As soon as Gideon and Alice shot the signals—their respective silvery fox and dove patronuses—to the two other groups, James charged straight into the room and fired a spell that hit Voldemort right in the back. There was a white flash of light, the two bodies collapsed to the ground, and James caught a hold of the man's arm and Disapparated.

A few full seconds passed before anyone could react. Lisa was the first to come to her senses and also dove head-first into the crowd of Death Eaters, trying to make it to the woman. By this point though, a couple of them had also recovered, and a few fired curses at her, but Lily and Alice deflected them. As Lisa knelt down to the battered Makena Bradwell, her eyes fell on the hooded figure, and she saw James hadn't stunned him – he had hit him with a full-body bind. A pair of red, snake-like eyes stared at her under the hood, and just looking at them filled her with terror and almost paralyzed her.

Someone directed another curse at her, Gideon yelled something, and the wall to her right exploded into tiny bits, deafening and showering her with pieces of plaster. Lisa grasped the woman's hand tightly, but three new jets of light flew at them simultaneously. Lily deflected one, and Lisa immediately erected a shield charm which stopped the second. The third spell, however, was a ghoulish green and easily broke though the shield, hitting Makena right in the chest. For a moment, the woman's deep blue eyes turned to Lisa, widened as if in surprise. The light seemed to glow from inside her as it sank into her torso and then faded away, taking with it the spark of life from her gaze.

Lisa stared at the corpse she was grasping in horror, barely comprehending what had just happened. Then there was movement behind her as the hooded figure rose to his feet, and his wand hand lifted, about to shoot a curse at Lily, whose back was turned to him. Something jump-started Lisa's brain, and she lunged forward, grabbing a hold of the redhead's wrist and Disapparating.

When they appeared again on the dark street in front of Moody's house, James and Edgar Bones immediately sprang out the door and knelt down to check on them.

"You alright, Evans?" James asked with concern, offering Lily a hand. She nodded shakily and glanced down at Lisa, who was still holding Makena Bradwell's cold hand.

At that point Gideon and Alice Apparated in as well, panting heavily and sporting a few cuts and bruises. One by one, the members that were fighting in the battle also filled the street, as did Remus' party.

"You fools! You want the whole world to know we were up to something?!" Moody roared. "Everyone inside,  _now_!"

"Lisa..." Lily placed a hand on her shoulder. "Come on."

Lisa got up as if in a trance and let Lily pull her inside the house. Sturgis raised his wand, and Makena's limp body floated in after them.

The Order gathered around the fireplace as Gideon began explaining what just happened with their group. Lisa was sitting in an armchair, not really seeing anything, the memory of the life dying out in Makena's eyes continuing to play over and over in her mind. She knew she had to be prepared, that this sort of thing would happen, but... she had never seen anyone die before.

Remus' eyes lingered on her as he was listening. When the tale ended, he knelt down at the foot of her chair. "What happened to her?"

"She tried to get Makena out of there, and... I don't know. Someone must've hit with an Avada Kedavra," Gideon guessed.

Remus reached forward and grasped her hand in his gently. "It wasn't your fault," he said. "You did everything you could."

Lisa lifted her head to look at him, feeling strangely hollow. "You're right. I did. I just wasn't strong enough."

Suddenly, Dorcas approached from the side and struck Lisa across the face with all the force she could muster. The whole room stared in shock.

"Don't you dare," the brunette hissed threateningly. "Don't you  _dare_  start that. It's a miracle more of you didn't die in that idiotic stunt, but don't  _ever_  let me hear you doubting yourself! You know this isn't a game; a moment's hesitation, a  _second_  of self-doubt could cost us more lives next time!"

Lisa rose to her feet, glaring at her friend angrily. "It was my weak shield that cost that woman her life! The simple truth is that I wasn't good enough to save her!"

"So. Become. Good. Enough!" Dorcas said through gritted teeth. "Practice. Be stronger. Don't give me some self-pitying rubbish! Weakness is a choice, not something you're born with!"

They glared at each other for a long time before Lisa's posture relaxed, and she looked away at the floor.

"You were up against impossible odds," Edgar Bones said, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Thank you for what you did for me. No one will blame you for... for what happened to Makena. She knew the risks."

Lisa nodded again, looking at the ground.

* * *

oOo

The vanishing light in wide, blue eyes haunted Lisa's nightmares for several days. She woke up frequently in cold sweat and snuck into Remus' bed almost every night. He didn't even bother to ask anymore, just held her close, and she let his steady breathing calm the frantic beating of her heart. It was a few weeks before she recovered completely, but as long as she lived, she never forgot those frightened blue eyes.

However, life at Hogwarts didn't stop just because countless people were suffering and dying beyond the walls. The teachers did their best to bury them in assignments and N.E.W.T. preparations to the point that most seventh years didn't even have time for Defenders patrols anymore. The younger students picked up the slack, as the others were spending most of their time in the Library or scribbling away essay after essay.

On Tuesday, the day after the full moon, Remus was still recovering in the Hospital Wing, and Lisa had huge shadows under her eyes, having spent the night without him. She was sitting at the Gryffindor table with Lily, Alice and Marlene, when Dorcas planted herself down next to her.

"Didn't you get any sleep last night?" the Slytherin asked, spreading some strawberry jam on a piece of toast.

Lisa shook her head and moved her tea so it wouldn't be knocked over by the snowy owl that was bringing her a letter from Frank. She opened it, and her eyes slid down the parchment, not really registering the inconsequential things about his Auror training. Getting the letter itself was a sign he was alive and well, and that was all she really cared about for the moment. Suddenly, something familiar caught her attention.

"Moody?" she mumbled, re-reading the last few lines. "Frank is working under Moody," she said in a low voice, causing Alice to forcefully rip the parchment out of her hands and feverishly look for the reference.

"You think he might bring him into the Order?" Sirius asked, sitting on Dorcas' other side, followed by James and Peter. "It'd be good if we have someone like him on our side," he added, stealing a bite from her toast.

"Get your own, Black!" Dorcas teased, whacking him behind the head.

"What's the big deal? We've shared saliva before. In fact, I think I have some free time between Charms and Herbology. I'd be up to giving you a fresh taste, if you want..."

"You're disgusting," Dorcas replied nonchalantly and pushed his face away.

"How is Remus?" Lily asked the Marauders.

James shrugged, said it was about average as far as his sicknesses got, but there was a certain edge in his eyes. Then he reminded Lisa that they had Quidditch practice that afternoon. She felt like she would rather do literally anything else, except perhaps Order activities, but just nodded shortly.

After everyone left for class, she lingered a bit and gave Dorcas a pointed look. "You're really not doing anything about it?"

"About what?"

"About Sirius. After what we went through last week, I thought you'd change your mind."

"Really?" Dorcas raised an eyebrow. " _I_  thought you'd give me the 'there are more important things going on' speech."

"... Let's just say I have a new perspective on the matter. Right now, trivial things like that hold a lot of weight."

Dorcas continued to stare at her, and Lisa was sure her friend thought she was going daft.

Lisa sighed. "Cass, right now... our lives are what happens between battles. We  _need_  that normalcy, those mundane little problems, or we'll go insane." Dorcas said nothing, continuing to eat her breakfast in silence. Lisa shook her head and got up. "Fine. But consider this: he could die the next time we have a little after school activity with Moody. Or you could. Isn't it better to stop wasting the time you have before it runs out?"

Dorcas was quiet again, and Lisa just left her there to think things over.

* * *

oOo

That afternoon Lisa just got out of the locker room after practice to see Remus was waiting for her outside.

"Hey," she greeted him in surprise as most of the team passed them by. "Are you sure you should be out of the Hospital Wing this early?"

"Yeah," he said anxiously, looking more gaunt than usual. "I just... needed to talk to you."

Lisa got a sinking feeling in her stomach. This tone of voice was never followed by good things. "What about?"

"About last night."

"Oh. Alright. Did something happen?"

He looked around nervously. "There are...  _others_  like me. In the Forbidden Forest."

Lisa's jaw dropped. "You... you mean... in the  _forest_?! I thought that was just a rumor! Do the teachers know?"

"I doubt it... as far as I'm aware, I'm the only one attending Hogwarts... a different Headmaster never would have allowed... but I saw them! And the Marauders did too. A whole  _pack_  of them."

"You think..." Lisa swallowed painfully. "You think they could..." She looked at him, and he stared back with a desperate intensity she didn't often see reflected in his eyes. "What is it?"

"What if...  _I_  created them?" he said, barely above whisper.

"What are you talking about?" She took a step closer. "You remember what you do when you go back to normal, right? And the Marauders are with you the entire time..."

"I don't remember everything clearly!" he snapped. "And in February, when the Death Eaters wanted to leave all those people for me to bite... there were so many running through the forest that night... what if I gave James and Sirius the slip and  _bit_  some of them?" He was staring at her hopelessly, panic starting to creep into his voice.

"Listen to me," Lisa said calmly. "You did not bite anyone..."

She took a step closer and reached out to touch him, but he jerked back, making her lose her balance, slip in the mud and fall back against the door. She rubbed the back of her head, which had collided painfully with the hard wood, cursing the first day of the damned cycle. His insecurities and mood swings were always upped to eleven the day after the transformation.

The door behind her opened, and Adrian Fleet, the third Gryffindor Chaser, stared at her from above. "You okay?" he asked urgently, helping her to her feet.

"Yeah, it's only a small bruise. I've taken worse during practice." Lisa smiled awkwardly, still rubbing her sore spot.

Remus looked down at his own hand in horror, as if he'd struck her on purpose. His pale face went even whiter, and he turned to leave.

"Wait!" she called after him, but he only kept running.

Lisa let out an exasperated sigh and rubbed her temple with one hand. Dating a werewolf was turning out to be much more difficult than she first thought.

"This is gonna lead to another argument, isn't it?" Adrian said, still staring after Remus.

"Probably." Lisa sighed. "Hey, what do you mean 'another argument'?"

"My dorm is right below his." Adrian shrugged. "Sound carries."

Must've been one of the bazillion break-ups he tried to start.

"He's just... a bit bipolar," she said quickly, feeling it wasn't entirely untrue. "He's actually very sweet most of the time, really. He just... gets a certain way sometimes... And I'm to blame too; he  _really_ knows how to push my buttons."

"It's always the quiet ones, isn't it? Women like to go for the bad boy," Adrian said as they started towards the castle, making Lisa erupt in laughter. Remus was the last person she'd ever describe as a 'bad boy'.

"How could I resist? Why, he must have at least  _three_  sweater vests! Three! That scoundrel!"

Adrian laughed, and they joked up until the Entrance Hall.

"You deserve someone better, you know," he said out of nowhere. "Someone that doesn't throw you against doors."

Lisa's jaw dropped. Did Adrian think Remus was  _trying to hurt her_? "That was an accident!"

"Yeah, and he didn't start all those fights? And you didn't cry in the common room last year after a heated row with him?"

She gaped at him in astonishment. That happened  _one time_ , and only because he drove her to an angry outburst with his moronic insistence someone like him wasn't worthy of love.

"Look, you have this completely wrong..."

"All I know is," he interrupted, "that he makes you cry. And he hurts you."

" _What?!_ He was just having a bad day—"

"Stop making excuses for him!"

"I'm not—!"

Suddenly, Adrian grasped her upper arms firmly and gazed into her eyes with such intensity, it shut her up. "Listen to me," he said. "My mother said the exact same things about my father before he walked out on us. He treated her like crap, and she just stood there and took it. I could clearly see the bruises on her arms, and she'd tell me 'he's just having a bad day' or say 'it was my fault'. And I just can't stand by and watch you do the same."

Lisa stared at him, completely dumbstruck. "Look, Adrian, I'm sorry about your mother... but you have to understand, it really isn't like that—"

His grip on her tightened. "Lisa, I know I can't control your life, but... I care about you too much to just stand on the sidelines."

"... What?"

He lowered his lips to meet hers. She was too stunned to even breathe.

* * *

oOo

"Can you explain to me why blokes insist on planting unwanted kisses on me?" Lisa grumbled angrily, slamming her bag on the desk she and Dorcas shared in Potions the next day.

"More 'mundane little problems'?" Dorcas sniggered.

"More like mundane annoyances!" the Gryffindor snapped. "Honestly, tell me what about me makes guys think it's okay to snog me without permission?"

"I thought Tenley graduated this year."

"Not him. Adrian Fleet."

"The Chaser? Since when does he have a thing for you?"

"Since he made the team, apparently. Or so he said before running off. Another thing, why do people run off after they kiss me? Do I have bad breath or something?"

Dorcas couldn't keep it in anymore and laughed loudly, but no one in the dim dungeon paid them any mind. "Well, well, that's what, one bloke a year? Nice," she quipped, and Lisa shoved her playfully.

"And both of them forced themselves on me. What are the odds?"

"I guess you just attract a certain kind of guy." The Slytherin shrugged. "Does Lupin know?"

"Oh yeah, telling my boyfriend, who tries to break up with me every other week because he's 'not good enough', even though he's perfect, that some hunky Quidditch player laid one on me was the first thing I did," Lisa said sarcastically.

"Can't be good to keep it a secret," her friend reasoned. "He could find out by some other source..."

"So what if he does? It's not like there's a chance in hell I'd dump him for Fleet. Or anyone else, for that matter."

Slughorn entered the dungeon, seeming somewhat distressed. He started his lesson on Ageing Potions but constantly lost his train of thought and fumbled over his own words.

"What's wrong with him?" Lisa whispered.

Dorcas leaned over. "One of his favorite ex-students died, the Head of the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes. We met him last year, remember?"

"That plump one, with the huge mustache? Yeah, he was nice. Was it Death Eaters?"

"Probably. He just 'disappeared' yesterday without a trace. It was in the  _Prophet_ , how did you miss it?"

Lisa looked down at her Potions book angrily. She refused to read anything her father published since February and only threw cursory glances at the paper she got every morning. Her parents had written her tons of letters too, but she never opened them, never replied. She knew Remus wrote them in secret to tell them she was doing fine, though he wouldn't admit it.

After the class was over, she rushed to intercept the Marauders before Remus could slip out again. He had somehow managed to avoid her so far, and she wasn't exactly in a hurry to have a row, but it had to be done eventually. She reached them just as they passed the door and tapped his shoulder.

"Fancy a trip to the Library? We have a free period."

He avoided her gaze, but nodded shortly, and they waved goodbye to the Marauders, who exchanged worried looks. When they made it to the second floor, Remus suddenly stopped in the middle of a deserted corridor. Lisa's heart sank. Well, this was as good place as any.

"Lisa..." he started.

"Me first! Look, what happened after practice was an  _accident!_  Alright? It was nothing serious, I swear! Please can we not do this again? How many times do I have to tell you, I just want to be with you!"

He continued to stare at the floor. "He would be better for you."

She gaped at him in confusion. "He?"

"Adrian Fleet. Peter saw you two... he saw you after practice."

Lisa felt a burning sensation in her gut, making her want to cry. He thought she cheated on him. But if Peter saw it, he must've also seen her push him away.

"Remus,  _he_  kissed me and it meant nothing! You know I wouldn't—"

"Do you know what Dumbledore told me in his office after Lily and James left last Friday?" he cut her off, still staring at the floor. "He said Voldemort has allied himself with the werewolves; that they'll try to recruit as many as possible. That they'll come for me."

Lisa's chest tightened painfully. He was going to use that as an excuse to break up with her.  _Again_. She knew stepping forward would make him back away, so she just whipped out her wand and hit him with a full-body bind before he could even blink. Effectively shutting him up, she wrapped her arms around him tightly and buried her face in his robes.

"You listen to me and listen good. My family is already hunted by the Death Eaters. I'm a walking target anywhere I go, and no misguided attempts of keeping me safe on your part will change that. I don't care about the stigma, and I don't care about the danger; I can handle your moods and your outbursts and that damned first day every month. What I can't handle is being without you. While you're off doing who-knows-what with the Marauders, I have the worst nights of my life because I have to lay in my bed alone. I've seen death, and I've seen destruction, and I've lost people I love, but damn it, I'll die before I lose you too!"

Tears were rolling down her cheeks now, wetting his clothes, and she could feel her spell was wearing off as his body relaxed a bit against hers.

"I don't care who's better for me, it's too late for that. I can't even look at another man like that, not anymore. And please,  _please_  stop trying to end things between us, because no matter how I try to shrug it off, it breaks my heart every time I hear you say it. Just stop doing this to me."

For a long moment he said nothing, then his arms slowly rose to envelop her.


	4. Werewolves Are Better Than Vampires

"Please, Madam Pince, I  _have_  to have all of them!" Lisa begged, desperately staring into the eyes of the old Librarian.

"Absolutely not! Three books is the limit, Miss Fawley. I simply cannot allow you to check out  _twelve_!" the woman puffed.

"But I simply  _must_  read them, and I can't concentrate with all of this!" Lisa gestured broadly behind her where James and Sirius were charming a small battalion of paper planes to follow Snape and poke his head when he stopped to open a book. "I swear I'll return them good as new!"

"Can't you just pick the most helpful ones?" Madam Pince demanded, and Lisa threw a hesitant look at her pile of books.

"I just... I can't decide! I need all of them!  _Please,_  Madam Pince, you have to make an exception, just this one time!"

The Librarian's usually sharp eyes softened a bit. There was scarcely a student in Hogwarts that spent more time in the Library  _to read_  more than Lisa Fawley did. She never brought food, never ripped or damaged the books and even in once instance went on a long rant to Dorcas Meadowes about why people that doodle or write in books are lower than scum.

"Oh, alright. But if they're not returned to their shelves in mint condition..."

"Thank you so much!" Lisa exclaimed happily and leaned over the desk to squeeze the old witch into a tight hug. Then she levitated the pile of books and ran down the corridor, where she almost bumped into Adrian Fleet.

"Wow, that's quite the army you got there," he quipped, his eyes fluttering to count the floating volumes, stopping on the particularly thick 893 pages of  _A Compendium of Common Curses and Their Counter-Actions_. "I don't think I've read that much in my entire life! How do you stay awake?"

"Listen, Adrian, it's good that I caught you," Lisa said. "You mind if we talk?"

His smile faded quickly. "We don't need to. I know what you're going to say."

"Good, that saves me the trouble then. Just make sure it doesn't happen again, because I'm the one that has to deal with the consequences."

His brows knitted. "Are you alright? Did you have a row again?"

"Oh, for Merlin's sake!" she exclaimed with annoyance. "For the last sodding time,  _he does not hurt me_! Please stop presuming things about my relationship!"

The young witch shoved past him and fumed furiously all the way to Gryffindor Tower. She knew he meant well, but it just pissed her off to no end! The  _nerve_  of some people, just assuming things like that! Was that what some of them thought about Remus, that he was an  _abuser_? The very idea that someone as kind and polite as him could even think of landing a finger on her was ludicrous! He fed little birds in the winter, for Merlin's sake!

Angrily levitating the books into a neat pyramid on top of her bed, Lisa took off her clothes and hopped into the shower, letting the hot water wash away her agitation. Just as she was starting to relax, the bathroom door creaked open and a curious blonde head peered in. Lisa shrieked and threw a shampoo bottle at it, hastily wrapping a towel around herself and leaping out into the dorm.

"Bloody hell Marlene, didn't you hear the water running in there?" Lisa yelled while the other Gryffindor snickered.

"Got your attention, didn't I?" Marlene snickered.

"If you wanted to talk, you could've yelled through the door! And couldn't this wait at least until I have some knickers on?"

Marlene succumbed to an uncontrollable fit of giggles, giving Lisa time to get dressed.

"So what is it?" she grumbled, perching herself on Marlene's bed.

"I thought you might like to know that Piper Spudgen is down in the common room, making googly eyes at Remus again," the other girl said, barely containing herself.

"Why would I care about that?" Lisa growled, irritated. "Don't you have a boyfriend of your own to worry about?"

"Not really," Marlene admitted, suddenly turning serious. "That's the real thing I wanted to talk to you about, actually. I'm going to break up with Peter."

"Huh? Why?!"

"He's just... have you ever thought you knew what someone was like, but then as you got closer, they're not what they appeared to be at all?"

"I... I think I know what you mean. What're you saying?"

"He's just..." Marlene played with her tie, not sure how to put it into words. "He's... not for me."

"You only dated him for one summer! Are you sure you don't just want to get yourself a hotter boy-toy?"

"It's really nothing like that." Marlene shook her head, keeping the serious tone. This behavior was nothing like her usually vibrant and bubble-headed self, and Lisa felt compelled to believe her. "Peter's just so  _different_  than what I thought he was. He gets so jealous sometimes, he becomes unrecognizable. And the things he says when he's angry..." She shook her head again, unable to go on.

"Wait a second," Lisa said in disbelief. "We're still talking about Peter, right? Peter Pettigrew? That boy can't yell at a flobberworm! And he gets jealous?"

"Like you wouldn't believe. And he threatens to do terrible things to blokes that casually talk to me in the store. I'm not even sure he can deliver on half of what he promises. I suppose he banks on James and Sirius to do it for him, but..." Marlene shuddered.

"Hold it, hold it. Are you seriously telling me that  _Peter Pettigrew_  has a bad temper? You're off your rocker if you think I'll believe any of that rubbish for even a second!"

"I don't care what you believe," Marlene said simply. "But I can't be with him anymore. I came to ask you for advice on how to break it to him without causing a scene, since you hang around him so much lately."

"If you want to break up with him, fine, but don't slander his name while you're at it!" Lisa snapped.

"I'm not. I'm telling you, there's something sinister in that boy beneath all the awkwardness and meek demeanor."

Lisa raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Then why haven't  _I_  ever seen him act that way? And what about the Marauders, he's been shadowing them since first year. If he's truly what you say he is, they wouldn't have kept him so close all this time!"

"You don't know him like I do," Marlene said calmly. "You don't notice those types of things in a group, and you know he kind of blends with the background when surrounded by his mates. When you date someone, you get to see sides of them even their closest friends don't. I'm sure you know that by now."

Lisa wondered if what Marlene was saying could possibly be true. It seemed unreal, that  _Peter_  of all people would act like that; it didn't sound like him at all. He did rejoice a little too much at times when James and Sirius bullied someone, but that didn't mean he was secretly a sadist! Then she thought about Remus, and how being with him let her see a side of him she never would've thought existed. That fragile, insecure, almost desperate part of him, which she was sure even the Marauders didn't get to see as often as she did. He hadn't seemed like the type to be harboring such deep emotional scars at all when they were only friends...

"I recommend you do it in a crowded place, if you really think he might get angry," Lisa said evenly, rising to her feet. "The common room is always noisy, so no one should be paying too much attention if you don't make a scene out of it. You can duck into the dorm afterwards, where he can't follow."

She still didn't fully believe all that rubbish about Pete, but some voice in the back of her mind told her Marlene was acting too strangely for this to be a simple result of a bitter break up, not to mention  _she_  was the one doing the dumping. So why would there be a need to lie?

* * *

oOo

"I really think you should slow down," Alice said with concern at lunch the following Thursday. "You've been reading through class for the last two weeks now, and you didn't even drop the book all weekend."

"She has a point, you know," Lily added, pulling down the tome Lisa was concentrating on while trying to somehow simultaneously eat her mashed potatoes without having to look at the fork.

"Huh? What do you want? Can't you see I'm busy?" Lisa mumbled incoherently, spreading mash on the right side of her face as her eyes kept following the page.

"You're getting obsessed!" Lily snapped, but once again, Lisa seemed to ignore her. "Enough!" The redhead pulled the book sharply, wrenching it from the other girl's grasp.

"Hey! What did you do that for?" Lisa protested as the Marauders arrived and sat on the table.

"Did we miss a food fight?" James threw in, pulling a plate of kidney pie closer.

Lisa whipped around, confused. "What?" She hadn't slept in two days, and the strain of memorizing complicated magical theory was wearing on her brain.

"Were you trying to read and eat again?" Remus asked amusedly, wiping her cheek with a napkin.

"You're going to fail all of your N.E.W.T.s if you keep this up," Lily warned her.

Remus peered at the title in her hands, and his face instantly showed understanding. "I could help you with that, you know. You don't have to learn everything on your own," he suggested gently.

"I'm good, really," Lisa insisted, snatching her book back. "And I'm not  _obsessed_ , I'm just... driven."

"Driven to go insane! You need a break," Lily insisted.

"I do not! I'm doing perfectly fine, thank you!"

"Rubbish! Remus, take her out on a date!"

He looked taken aback for a moment, but then said, "How about it? We can skip Transfiguration and go to Hogsmeade?"

Sirius barked a laugh, spitting food everywhere. "Well, now  _I_  must be going insane! Moony actually suggesting skipping class? I'll keep an eye for Satan ice-skating his way to work today!"

Lisa felt extremely thorn. On one hand, she knew she needed to keep reading, keep perfecting the defensive theory before she started the practical work, but a day with Remus  _and_  with no Transfiguration ranked pretty high on her personal fantasies list. And she was too busy to sneak into his bed lately...

"I haven't seen you properly in a week," he said softly, as if he knew what she was thinking, and caressed the back of her hand under the table, practically making her melt.

"Alright, but you have to give me your notes from the classes I wasn't paying attention in!" she surrendered, and he grinned.

"Deal."

* * *

oOo

"So... where would you like to go?" Remus asked as the two of them emerged from the secret tunnel, gently caressing her hand with his thumb.

Lisa still loved that feeling of his warm palm in hers, even after so much time. It was something so simple, yet so inexplicably wonderful, she felt like if she could just hold his hand, she'd be happy with anything life could throw at her.

"Weren't  _you_  supposed to be taking  _me_  out?" Lisa quipped playfully.

He smiled and looked around, his eyes lingering on Honeydukes for longer than necessary. She pulled him forward with a laugh, and they ended up perusing the wide array of sweets for  _a whole hour_. Lisa even bought him a big bundle of Honeydukes Best Chocolate, despite his protests that it was him that was supposed to be buying her gifts. She mentioned offhandedly that she could buy his family's cottage with two weeks' worth of pocket money, and he pulled a face, making her laugh so loudly the other people at the store began staring at them disapprovingly.

Lisa was still snickering when they went back to the windy street and decided to stop by Spintwitches, a sporting goods store, where Remus patiently waited for her to finish drooling over the newest broom models, brand new protective gear, various team jerseys and a few pairs of very shiny goggles. Then they ducked into Dominic Maestro's Music Shop and browsed the exclusively wizard collection of records.

An enthusiastic group of young witches was having a heated discussion in the corner about vampires, occasionally interrupted by a sigh or a high-pitched squeak.

"Vampire from the Valleys, Lorcan d'Eath... Why are there so many vampire singers?" Lisa asked quietly, flipping through the records.

"The girls like them?" Remus whispered back.

"What's so appealing about a vampire anyway? They can't go out in the daylight, and their breath probably smells of blood. Can you imagine what it must be like to kiss one of them? Ew. And they must constantly look at you as if you're a Blood-Flavored Lollipop."

He shrugged. "They have good PR. Vampires are portrayed as sexy, sophisticated and mysterious through the media. Girls love that. Plus, if he bites you it's 'eternal love'."

"How romantic?" she said, making him chuckle.

"And they do seem to be... spiffy dressers," Remus added in amusement, glancing at the life-sized Lorcan D'Eath poster on the wall, in which the vampire wore a very tight pair of pants and a jet-black trench coat.

Lisa rolled her eyes. "If you have a leather fetish. From what I've seen in the media, vampires are usually manipulative bastards who can talk a woman into anything. And who wants a relationship like that? I prefer werewolves myself, they're  _much_  cuter." She winked, making him blush slightly.

"Girls love the bad boys," he said, returning his eyes to the vinyls.

"They do not!" Lisa insisted. "Every girl I know would prefer to go out with a nice guy!"

He looked at her and raised his eyebrow skeptically. "If that were true, Sirius would not be so popular with women."

Lisa gaped at him for a couple of seconds, not knowing how to respond to that. "I don't understand women," she grumbled, making him laugh. "Hey look, there's Celestina Warbeck's new single,  _You Stole My Cauldron But You Can't Have My Heart_ _._  She's kinda jazzy. And her feathered boa collection is impressive." She held up the vinyl.

"I'm not a particular fan of hers," Remus said nonchalantly.

She raised an eyebrow. "Because she's a witch?"

"When it comes to music it doesn't matter if you're a pureblood or a muggle. Magic doesn't come into play."

"Is that why you're so fond of muggle musicians?"

He shrugged again. "They don't have to rely on gimmicks and cheap tricks. They just get on stage and play their music without having the need to fall back on their half-human status."

They both turned to look at the flock of girls again, still crowded around the Lorcan d'Eath records.

"Plus, Celestina is too much of a belter for me. Her voice tends to give me a headache," he admitted. "Oh, this must be that new Hobgoblins album, the one Stubby Boardman told us about on Slughorn's Christmas Party last year. He said they wanted to promote by having a concert in Gringotts."

"Don't remind me!" Lisa growled angrily. "That tosser, remember how he cut you with his outfit, then turned his back on us to sign autographs? If I see him again, I'll hit him with a Slug-Vomiting Charm!"

He regarded her with an amused smile.

"You think I'm kidding!?"

"No, no, I'm pretty sure you're serious. In fact, now I'm a little tempted to get us concert tickets for the next show."

She shoved him playfully. "Don't you dare subject me to the Hobgoblins! Why don't we go to a real concert?"

"The Hobgoblins do have real concerts. I bet you if I asked Slughorn for tickets, he could get us the best in the house."

She smacked him on the shoulder, and he chuckled.

* * *

oOo

They didn't want to miss dinner, so around seven they started heading back. The long, dark tunnel felt as sunny as a wide-open field as the couple made their way back, joking around, discussing the Marauder's recent decline in pranking thanks to James' Head duties and sharing some chocolate. As they neared the mirror that served as the entrance to Hogwarts, Lisa was too busy laughing at his descriptions of some of the pranks he had come up with himself to notice the approaching shadow of Argus Filch. Remus grasped her wrist at the last moment and pulled her back inside the tunnel, pinning her against the wall as they breathlessly waited for him to pass. The footsteps slowly retreated, and she couldn't help but giggle in his shirt, hoping the caretaker wouldn't hear. Remus looked down at her, her eyes sparkling happily in the light of his wand, and he felt that need again. Her laugh died down, and she saw something burning behind his eyes, but before she could open her mouth to ask, his lips pressed against hers.

The bundle of chocolate slipped to the floor, and the lit wand rolled away as bodies pressed against each other and hands slipped under fabric. A sharp popping sound echoed in the tunnel as the top four buttons of her shirt flew off when he forcefully ripped it open and bent down to taste the exposed skin of her shoulder. His head was thumping with adrenaline, and he couldn't think about anything other than the fact that he wanted her, wanted to caress and taste and touch her everywhere. He barely registered that her hands were sliding over his scars, that she would feel them and get disgusted, but she only deepened the kiss and didn't stop, didn't pull away. Before he knew it, his right hand was making its way up her thigh, past the hem of her skirt and up, up, until it reached...  _lace_?

Remus broke the kiss abruptly with a soft groan and leaned his forehead against the cold stone next to her head, breathing heavily.

"You... okay?" she asked, gasping for air.

"Yeah... just... give me a second."

She wrapped her arms around his neck, and his slid to envelop her waist as they waited patiently against the wall for their thumping hearts to normalize.


	5. Battle at the Muggle Fair

"Is it me, or does that bird bat her eyelashes way too seductively at your boyfriend?" Dorcas asked as she and Lisa were doing a long Charms essay in the Library on Friday. She glanced at the brunette that was interrupting Remus' book-hunting in the Charms Section, but her friend didn't even look up.

"No, it's not you." Lisa tried to be calm, but the words on her essay were becoming more pronounced. "That's Piper Spudgen, and yes, she is flirting, and yes, it does bother me, but no, you don't need to hex her."

"You sure?" The Slytherin was already reaching for her wand.

"Yes, I'm sure." Lisa sighed. "He just doesn't know how to let her down gently, so he figured she'd get over it soon. You wouldn't believe how aggressive she is about it too, sometimes while I'm right there,  _in his lap_!"

"Seriously?" Dorcas laughed. "And I thought I was flirty..."

"Hey Cass..." The Gryffindor cleared her throat, going red in the face. "You have, erm... some  _experience_  with blokes, right?"

"... Yes," Dorcas said slowly. "Why?"

"So, er... can I ask you a question?"

Dorcas stared at her without answering.

"Right, so..." Lisa said nervously. "Have you ever... you know, started to get intimate with someone, and... he just pulled away?"

Dorcas raised her right eyebrow. "Pulled away?"

"Yes, just as... as things were starting to get... heated." Lisa could practically feel her face emitting heat, but chanced a look at her friend.

Dorcas was staring at her with a strange mixture of pity and amusement. "Oh Merlin. You're like a little baby unicorn."

"What is that supposed to mean!?" Lisa snapped. 

"You're so wide eyed and innocent it's adorable."

The Gryffindor groaned, feeling like she would die from embarrassment any second now, and hid her head under her arms. "Just forget I asked then! Here, I'll even Obliviate you—"

"It's because he can't take it," Dorcas said. "It's actually very common."

Lisa peeked carefully between her forearms. "Can't take what?" The pity in her friend's eyes intensified as she struggled to keep a straight face. "I said, forget I asked!" Lisa moaned, going back to the safety of her hiding place.

"He can't take  _it_. Can't hold it in. Is about to make a mess in his pants."

"Enough!" Lisa shrieked, adding the hard covers of the nearest textbook to her head.

Dorcas couldn't keep it in anymore and burst out laughing at the top of her lungs, earning a prompt scolding from Madam Pince. "You mean to tell me you've been sleeping in his bed for months, but you're still—"

"Can you please stop!?"

"Why? This isn't a bad thing. If you want it and he wants it..."

"This is not happening..."

"You're both of age, so what's the problem?"

Thankfully, Lisa was spared any further part of that conversation when Emma Vance tapped her on the shoulder and said, "Dumbledore sent me to find James. Have you seen him?"

"Over there." Dorcas inclined her head to the pair of him and Sirius, snickering like idiots about something on their table. Emma approached them and gave James a piece of rolled up parchment. He read it and his face instantly grew serious.

* * *

oOo

"Did this really need to happen in the middle of the night?" Dorcas whined that very evening, entering the empty classroom where Lisa had asked her to come.

"I couldn't sleep," the Gryffindor replied absentmindedly, pacing back and forth. "And this is important."

"Fine. What do you want, then?"

"Dumbledore called for an Order meeting. I need to be prepared, but I'm not even close to mastering shield charms! I've covered a lot of the theory, but when it comes to practical implication, I've only ever tried it out a couple of times, and I'll need them to be strong enough to hold up against a killing curse, otherwise what good are they, and I  _have_  to be good at this; I've been reading non-stop since we got back from the last mission, but I just don't know if it'll be enough—"

"Hold on, when I said—"

"—and now there will probably be another battle tomorrow, and I need to  _practice,_  and I read most of the—"

"Lisa!" Dorcas grasped her firmly by the shoulders. "Stop panicking!"

Lisa inhaled and exhaled three deep breaths. "Right. Thanks. Now, I need you to send your strongest curses at me."

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Dorcas said. "You said you haven't mastered it..."

"I'll learn as I go!" The Gryffindor went to the other end of the classroom and raised her wand. "Come on, show me what you got!"

Dorcas pulled out her own wand reluctantly, but fired a silent Tickling Charm. Lisa made a complicated move with hers and conjured a shiny silver shield. The spell bounced off with ease.

The Gryffindor almost jumped in excitement and said, "Did you see that!? It's only my third try, and I did it! Keep going; let's see how long I can keep it up!"

Dorcas nodded and, a little more confident in her friend's abilities, shot more and more powerful spells at the shield. Stickfast Hex. Disarming Charm. Jelly-Legs Curse. Full-Body Bind. The Severing Charm shook the shield visibly. The Knockback Jinx left a dent. The Reductor Curse destroyed it completely.

* * *

oOo

"Right," Mad-Eye Moody puffed, pacing back and forth in front of the Order members gathered in his den the following night. "The Auror Office has some information about a probable attack on a muggle festival tonight. The Ministry, however, doesn't want to spare the manpower do investigate further."

"Doesn't want to spare the manpower?" Sirius exclaimed. "What  _else_  are they doing?"

"Everyone is concentrating on the Giants right now," Gideon explained. "Remember that whole street that was destroyed in the summer? Despite what the Death Eaters are doing, the Giants are causing the biggest loss of muggle lives. The Ministry wants to get that under control as soon as possible."

"What about the lives the Death Eaters are taking?" Fabian piped up.

"The Aurors aren't enough to deal with both threats at once," said Moody. "Our numbers are dwindling, and the admission process isn't easy. That's why Dumbledore created the Order, though he himself doesn't participate much. Can't leave Hogwarts unprotected for too long."

"Alright then. So what do we do, blend into this festival?" James asked.

"Something like that. We're not 100% sure there will be an attack, but keep your eyes OPEN! Constant vigilance! You'll be in pairs of two so you wouldn't attract unnecessary attention."

"How about it Evans?" James winked. "You, me... possible death. What do you say?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "In your dreams, Potter."

"That's actually not a bad idea," Lisa threw in. "If you're in his line of sight he wouldn't be worrying about you and making mistakes. You wouldn't want his death on your conscience, would you?"

"Fine," Lily sighed and moved over to sit next to him. James looked like he was just hit over the head with a Bludger and shot a grateful look at Lisa, who winked at him.

"Well, if Prongs is using the time to get in a snog or two, why don't we?" Sirius wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at Dorcas.

"This is not a dating agency!" Moody growled. "I'll pair the rest of you up!"

After a few quick orders, Lisa found herself next to Hagrid, the towering gamekeeper at Hogwarts. His eyes crinkled in a bearded smile, and she returned it happily. She agreed that being at that fair with Remus would only distract her anyway, and Hagrid was altogether good company.

"So, er... how do we get there? Can you Apparate?" Lisa asked as the other couples held hands and disappeared.

"Nah, we'll be flyin'" Hagrid said casually and made for the door.

Lisa wondered if he had some sort of enlarged broomstick or something, but as they made their way to the street, she saw a big, black, skeletal horse with bat-like wings waiting for them. She stared at it from the door and realized why Moody paired her up with him. They were going to ride a Thestral.

"Come on," Hagrid beckoned, getting on with some difficulty and reaching out a hand for her.

"Erm... won't the two of us be too much for it?"

"Nonsense. They're much stronger than they look, they are."

The young witch took his hand hesitantly and instantly regretted it as he pulled her in his lap, and the Thestral bent its knees, shooting them straight up like a cork out of a bottle. She screamed as they flew with amazing speed over millions of small yellow dots, but thankfully the trip didn't last very long. By the time she found herself on solid ground, Lisa's legs felt like they were made out of butter.

"No offense, Hagrid, but I think I might just Disapparate on the way back," she said, feeling queasy.

"I get it. Thestrals ain't fer ev'ryone," he agreed, and she gave the animal an apologetic pat on the head before they headed to the busy, brightly lit street.

It was some sort of art festival. Booths of various DIY things were lined up on both sides of the road, and it was  _packed_  with muggles. Lisa thought for a moment what they could do if Death Eaters attacked in such a crowded place. It would be very hard to fight without accidentally hitting someone. As they walked, she noticed the other members wandering about and even managed to give Remus a small wave. His partner was Peter, who looked absolutely miserable, and she guessed that Marlene had finally broken it off.

Hagrid started a light conversation about Thestral care, which soon turned into an intense discussion of the proper way to handle a Lethifold. Lisa couldn't believe there was a wizard alive, other than Kettleburn, that could ever think those things could be kept as pets.

"They eat people, Hagrid!"

"A dog'll bite yeh too, when provoked! They're just misunderstood!"

"They are floating blankets that  _eat_   _people_!"

"If yeh keep 'em in a closet at night, they're perfectly harmless!"

"I can't believe we're even having this discussion! With Thestrals and anything else I can understand, but a flying curtain? Come on!" The corner of her eye caught sight of Remus again, and a memory stirred up inside her. "Hey, Hagrid... you... go to the Forbidden Forest often, right?"

"'Course. Wouldn't be a much of a gamekeeper if I didn't pop in there once in a while," Hagrid said, notes of pride chiming in his voice. 

"So, erm... you'd know if there were... certain creatures in there?"

"What creatures?" he asked, suddenly alarmed. "Vicious rumors, all of it!"

"So there  _isn't_  a pack of werewolves that meet in there?" Lisa exclaimed with relief.

"Oh, those! Yeah, a whole litter of 'em." Hagrid's eyes widened, and he covered his mouth with a giant palm. "I mean, no! There's nothin' unusual in the forest!"

Lisa gasped. "You knew!"

"Oh, Gallopin' Gorgons! I shouldn'ta said that!"

"Who are they? What do you know? Tell me!"

"I really shouldn'—"

"Hagrid, this is very important! I have to know the truth!"

He regarded her with a long look, but something about the fire burning in her eyes made him give in.

"Alright, I'll tell yeh," he said with a sigh. "There were these two werewolves, see, way back before yeh even came ter Hogwarts. And they... well, they met under the full moon. An' they mated."

"They  _mated_?" Lisa repeated. "Is that even possible?"

"It's very rare, but yeah, it happens. An' the result was a litter o' pups. They had nowhere to go, an' I begged Dumbledore to let 'em be free in the forest. I've bin visitin' 'em from time to time. Very beautiful creatures, they are. Smart too."

"Don't they attack you?"

"Nah, they don' have that same rage real werewolves have. Ours are just wolves, don' transform to nothin' with the moon."

"So then... they weren't bitten?"

He shook his head. Just then, something caught her attention, and she stopped abruptly. Remus, who she was keeping an eye on, had suddenly turned his head upwards to one of the roof corners towering above them.

"Hagrid," Lisa said. "Do you see movement up there?"

They both carefully scanned the skyline, and, sure enough, they caught a glimpse of a black hood. At the same time, screams echoed to their right, and one of the booths exploded, sending shrapnel everywhere. Lisa pulled out her wand, and they ran in the direction of the commotion. Explosions kept happening left and right, curses rained from above, and Lisa had to stop and try out the shield charms she had been studying for the last few weeks. She never got the chance to practice  _Protego Horribilis_  properly — the charm was ultimately weak and broke easily, forcing her to deflect them in other ways. As she was focusing on the keeping the muggles from harm, a hooded figure raised a wand to fire a spell at her, but Dorcas was suddenly on him, blasting him into a wall with a Knockback Jinx. The Order gathered, and once again curses flew everywhere. Screams and chaos surrounded Lisa, and she couldn't help but admire Hagrid's sheer strength as he sent Death Eaters flying left and right, swinging his giant arms like clubs. She gasped as she saw Remus take down four adult Death Eaters at once with a complicated nonverbal spell and remembered how he said once he was only a mediocre wizard who struggled to keep up with his friends. Making a mental note to correct him, she was almost pushed to the ground as a large, feral looking man ran past her like a brown blur and headed straight for him. Remus couldn't see it, having his hands full with more Death Eaters. Lisa concentrated all of her will. 'Do it! Do it now!' she yelled inside her own head.

" _Argentum Clipeus!_ "

The silver shield materialized on Remus' left side, just before the blur collided with him. There was a deafening CLANG! and the man collapsed to the ground as the shield crumbled to pieces. She silently thanked Merlin that at least it worked. Suddenly, someone yelled 'Retreat!' and the Death Eaters Disapparated one by one.

Lisa rushed to Remus' side. He was kneeling down, examining the man that had thrown himself right into the shield. Face pale and frowning, Remus looked over the man's patched, dirty brown clothes and his matted, elbow-length blond dreadlocks.

"What is it?" Lisa asked nervously.

"He's a werewolf," Remus replied, just above a whisper.

They exchanged grim and worried glances, when someone yelled desperately  _'Renervate!'_. They turned to see Dorcas, kneeling next to the limp body of Sirius Black.

" _Renervate!_  Wake up! Wake up, damn you!"

Tears were starting to stream down her face as she dropped her wand and started shaking him. It was strangely surreal to see the normally calm and collected Slytherin lose the grasp on her own emotions like that. Then, just as she broke down in violent sobs, Sirius' eyes flew open, and he planted a kiss on her cheek, grinning mischievously. She stared at him wide-eyed for a moment before slapping him fiercely right across the face. His grin faded as she got up and clutched her wand tightly.

"Meadowes, wait, it was just a joke—" he tried to explain, but she whipped around, her face still wet with tears, and hit him with a powerful Knockback Jinx, sending him flying four meters away. Then she turned on her heel and Disapparated. "Barmy bird! It was just having a bit of a laugh!" Sirius grumbled, getting to his feet.

"You really are a git, Padfoot," Remus called.

"How could you do that to her?" Lisa shook her head.

"Me?! She threw me across the street!" Sirius exclaimed. 

"Sirius, this isn't a joking matter. Didn't it ever occur to you how she might feel, thinking you were really dead?" Lisa said.

He opened his mouth to protest but then closed it again.


	6. Butchering Mermish

Sirius was unusually quiet for the next few days. He tried approaching Dorcas in the hallways twice, each time getting a hex to the face. With Peter all glum over his break-up with Marlene, James being busy with Head duties and Quidditch, and Remus growing paler and more exhausted with the approach of the full moon, the Marauders weren't an especially happy sight as of late.

"We should do something to cheer them up," Lisa whispered to Lily one Sunday afternoon in the common room.

"What can we do? We can't force Marlene to get back together with Peter, and after that stunt Sirius pulled, I can hardly blame Dorcas for using the Bat-Bogey Hex on him," the redhead scoffed.

"The match against Slytherin is in a few days... what if we snuck in some Firewhisky for the after party? Whether we win or lose, they could use some."

Lily raised an eyebrow. "Are you suggesting to a Head Girl to smuggle illegal alcohol in school?"

"Come off it! I know you're not as uptight about the rules as you want people to believe! And you know you want a pint too." Lisa nudged her with an elbow. Lily's mouth stretched into a smirk.

* * *

oOo

"I take it back. This was a bad idea," Lily whispered as the two girls walked into the Hog's Head. "We shouldn't be in here."

"Do you know another place that will sell students Firewhisky?" Lisa whispered back.

They crossed the dark empty pub and ordered. The bartender regarded them with a look of indifference, then handed them some dusty bottles. Lisa paid for them, thankful that at least they were unopened. The two girls were almost out the door when she managed to make out the silhouettes of Snape, Rosier and their band of Slytherins though the dirty window, heading straight for them. Taking Lily's hand and abruptly pulling her to the side, Lisa rummaged inside her robes and quickly enveloped both of them with the Invisibility cloak. Thank Merlin she never left Hogwarts without it.

"The Dark Lord is not pleased," Rosier said when the group entered and sat down on a table in the corner. Lisa noticed the obvious absence of Wilkes; usually he was never far behind Rosier. With a painful pang, she saw the fifth Death Eater was now the Slytherin Seeker, Regulus Black. As if Sirius wasn't depressed enough already...

"It's not too late," Mulciber chimed in. "If we sneak into the Gryffindor common room..."

"And how will we get up the stairs?" Snape sneered. "Levitate ourselves?"

"We could always bring girls, Snape," Rosier corrected him. "That is  _if_  Fawley was stupid enough to bring the Sword with her."

Avery shrugged. "Wouldn't hurt to check either way. Whatever information we gather, it would be of help to the Dark Lord."

At that moment the door swung open again, and a group of men walked in, joining the Slytherins.

"Is that... Lucius Malfoy?" Lily gasped quietly.

"Well, Evan. Severus. I 'm glad to see you are doing fine," the blond man greeted.

"Better than your house, Lucius," Snape said. "I heard there was a little party there last month. They say it was simply  _smashing_."

"Oh, no need to worry." Malfoy waved his hand dismissively. "It's already taken care of. I was thinking of adding a new wing to the Manor anyway. But we're not here to discuss the new architectural plans for my estate. The Dark Lord wants the Sword of Gryffindor."

"Well, we don't have it," Mulciber growled. "And Dumbledore's upped the defensive spells around his office. No one goes in or out without his knowing. We can't get to the Hat a second time."

"I am not interested in your excuses!" Malfoy snapped. "You let it slip through your fingers, so  _you_  have to get it back. By whatever means necessary."

"We suspect she could've left it with her parents for safe keeping," Rosier's deep voice rumbled.

"Well, that's neither here nor there," Malfoy said. "The search for the Fawleys wasn't given to us.  _Your_  job is to find the Sword. Or I suppose you could always stumble onto another ancient artifact with great magical power that belonged to a Hogwarts founder? I am confident the Dark Lord would allow an  _acceptable_  substitute."

The table was quiet.

"Well, if that was all you had to say on the subject... let us move on."

They discussed newly recruited students, how well the actual Death Eaters were doing, and other very interesting things that the girls would love to tell Dumbledore about in the next Order meeting.

* * *

oOo

"What  _did_  you do with it?" Alice asked later that night, after Lily filled her and Marlene in about what they overheard.

Lisa knelt down next to her trunk and waved her wand over it. A compartment opened where the bottom should be, and she took out the shiny silver sword.

"You actually brought it here?" Marlene gasped. "That's one of the dumbest things you could've done!"

"And what do you suggest, I should hide it in the house that Death Eaters could discover any day?" Lisa scowled. "I'm open to ideas."

"How about you hide it somewhere in Hogwarts? It has no shortage of nooks and crannies," Alice suggested.

"Yes, but we run a high risk of the Death Eaters finding it. And I think they'll double their efforts after what happened to Wilkes..." Lily trailed off.

"Wilkes? What about him?" Lisa asked in surprise.

"Don't you know? It was all over the  _Prophet_  near the end of last year!" Marlene exclaimed.

Lisa sighed impatiently. "I haven't been reading the paper for a while, okay? Now tell me what happened!"

The three girls exchanged glances.

"Wilkes disappeared, Lisa," Alice said gently. "We think he was punished because the Death Eaters failed to get the Sword."

Lisa's jaw dropped. She knew Voldemort was cruel, but killing off his own follower?

"Why don't you give it to Remus for safe keeping? No one in their right mind would try to raid the Marauders' dorm," Lily suggested.

"Right. And make  _them_  a target?"

"They can take care of themselves."

"So can we, damn it!" Lisa jumped to her feet and pulled off some of the more complicated charms she had learned from the twelve tomes of defensive magic. "There! I'll just put up the wards every night. At least we can sleep in peace."

"... I'm ordering a Sneakoscope first thing in the morning," Marlene said.

Lisa nodded in approval, and her gaze fell out the window to the sunny waters of the Black Lake. Perhaps there was a safe place for the Sword after all.

* * *

oOo

The after-party turned out to be a happy one. The weather was perfect, cold and clear, and despite the recent bumps between Lisa and Adrian, they played well. Felicity caught the snitch after a whole hour and a half, but they won, and all Lisa had to suffer for it were two Bludger bruises. As everyone was cheering and celebrating in the common room, she prepared herself in the dormitory for the undeniably unpleasant experience that awaited her. She knew her plan was probably one of the dumbest things anyone had ever thought of doing, but at least then she could rest easy, knowing that until the next Gryffindor summoned the sword, it would be safely away from Voldemort and whatever evil things he wanted to do with it.

Before she went to Hogwarts, her dad, who was often sent abroad as a correspondent for the  _Daily Prophet_ , had taught her the basics of several languages he spoke. She recalled next to nothing of Latin, but remembered some French and just a bit of Gobbledegook and Mermish. She did check out  _Merpeople_ _: A Comprehensive Guide to Their Language and Customs_  from the Library for the third time, just to brush up.

Lisa fastened the gillyweed Professor Slughorn was more than happy to share in a bag around her neck. Though it made her nervous to know she had a timer, the Bubble-Head Charm wouldn't allow her to speak. She just hoped she wouldn't offend them too much.

Descending into the common room, she stopped for a second to admire how adorable Remus looked as he was nursing a glass of Firewhisky, leaning on the far wall and explaining something to David O'Flaherty.

"How can you date someone that owns this many cardigans?" Adrian Fleet said jokingly, suddenly appearing by her side.

"I love the cardigans." Lisa smiled fondly, keeping her eyes on Remus. "To be honest, that's half the reason I'm with him."

"Most girls prefer Quidditch jerseys." Adrian nudged her playfully.

"Most girls are vapid idiots," she replied, inclining her head to one of the armchairs where Sirius was snogging a sixth year.

"He's too nerdy for you."

"You're too annoying for me."

"But I'm better looking."

Lisa scoffed and finally turned to look at him. "Give it up, Fleet. This is one match you won't win." And with that, she left him behind and went to check on Remus. "I see you're hitting the alcohol," she quipped, kissing his cheek.

"Just one, Sirius made me. You think I shouldn't?" he asked a bit nervously, making her laugh.

"Nah, you deserve it. After that 'cold' two days ago, I'd say it'll do you some good," she said. He smiled faintly. "I have to go now. Promised Dorcas I'd get her some booze too."

Lisa waved him goodbye, then climbed out the portrait and enveloped herself in the Invisibility cloak. The Entrance Hall was dark and quiet, but she didn't let that deter her. The grounds were dark and the air was cold, so she had to cast a heating charm on herself.

' _This won't be so bad,_ ' she thought to herself, standing at the edge of the vast, black waters of the lake. ' _I mean, what's the worst thing that could be down there? Other than the possibly vicious colony of selkies and the Giant Squid_ '. She took off the cloak and her robes and just stood there in her Montrose Magpies jersey. On one hand, she had to do it, and fast, before someone noticed her. On the other, the lake was big and terrifying. ' _Get a grip!_ ' she scolded herself. ' _Are you a Gryffindor or what?_ '

Lisa took a deep breath, and, ignoring every instinct that screamed in her head to get back to the castle, she waded into the freezing water. With a lit wand in one hand and the Sword in the other, swimming wasn't exactly easy, and the farther she went, the stupider the idea seemed. She couldn't see anything, as the black waters were pressing everywhere around her, making her feel claustrophobic. She knew the merpeople would be somewhere around the center, but she couldn't even tell if she was going in a straight line anymore. She needed to get to the bottom, but it was as if she was swimming in space, not being able to tell up from down, as there was just darkness in every direction, spreading as far as she could see. Cold fear gripped her heart, and just as she was about start panicking, a huge tentacle appeared before her. She turned around, and the light from her wand fell upon the Giant Squid.

Her heart skipped a beat. It was at least ten meters long, with long tentacles swimming around its head. She knew the Squid was big, but oh Merlin...

The creature floated in front of her, watching calmly with its big, budging eyes. Lisa had read about Squids and knew the Hogwarts one was almost domesticated, thanks to that unforgettable lesson in fourth year when Kettleburn decided to have them waist deep in the water so they could examine the suction cups on its tentacles. Lisa very slowly approached one of them and put her palm on it, petting it gently. The Squid closed its eyes in pleasure.

"You wouldn't happen to know where the selkie colony is, would you?" the girl said out loud.

For a moment everything was still. The next, one of the tentacles wrapped around her waist, and she was yanked abruptly with incredible force. Lisa clutched her wand tightly, hoping the Giant Squid wouldn't eat her. For a couple of minutes, all she could register was the water, beating at her from every direction. The world kept stopping and then suddenly moving again until she felt like she would throw up and wondered in the back of her mind if it would just float around her if she did. When everything finally came to a full stop again, Lisa found herself bathed in the soft blue light of a large crystal, nestled in the hand of a towering Merman statue. She shook her head to get rid of the slight dizziness, caressed the tentacle that was holding her, and it let her go. With a last amazed, thankful look to the Squid, Lisa swam towards the light.

The Merpeople Village was a complex of rough stone houses, bordered by more statues. As she approached, a sudden horn echoed through the water, and in a matter of minutes, she found herself surrounded by merpeople that were holding spears to her neck threateningly. A burly merman with a long, green beard and an impressive necklace of what seemed like Grindylow teeth floated in front of her, practically emitting authority. Lisa's hand tightened around the sword nervously.

"Proud Merchieftan, hear my plea," she started. "In this hour of darkness, my people request your aid." They only looked at her wearily, and she wondered if she got the words wrong or if she just didn't say it melodically enough. Well, she came this far, she wouldn't let it be in vain! "The Dark Lord seeks this sword. It is a relic of times long past, and he must not be allowed to claim it. I beg of you to guard over it."

"... Stop butchering my native tongue, human girl," the Merchieftan said in English. "Why should my clan worry about the fate of your people? Your Dark Wizards don't have an interest in the deep."

"Erm... b-because..." Lisa gripped the sword tighter. She had to keep it together. "Because in the wrong hands, this could be a weapon that touches even in the depths of the Black Lake! And because Albus Dumbledore is giving you a sanctuary here, away from the pollution of muggle waters. Is that how you repay him?"

The Merchieftan regarded her with a long, hard look. "Did Dumbledore send you here?"

"I am in The Order of the Phoenix, an organization of his own creation," she said. It wasn't a lie.

The Merchieftan was quiet for a long time. Then he extended his gray arm forward. "Alright. We will guard this sword for Dumbledore. Go, and tell him that he has our word."

The merpeople retracted their spears as Lisa turned over the blade, and then they watched her swim away through the pitch-black waters.

* * *

oOo

Shivering to the bone, despite all the spells she cast on herself, Lisa made it back to the common room unnoticed. She saw Sirius' mouth was locked with a different girl, saw Lily and James sitting on the couch, red-faced and giggling, an empty bottle in her hand, and saw Peter drinking with some sixth years. Then her eyes fell on Remus, who was sitting in an armchair, also quite red in the face, with Piper Spudgen on his lap and her arms coiled around his neck.

Lisa was this close to firing the nastiest curse she could think of, but when his eyes met hers, he pushed Piper off unceremoniously and rushed over to plant a very wet kiss on her.

She pushed on his chest lightly. "I think you might've taken what I said about the Firewhisky too much to heart," Lisa quipped before he continued to snog her right in the middle of the common room. Not that anyone was paying attention.

"I missed you," he said raspily.

"I've only been gone for a couple of hours." She raised an eyebrow and wrinkled her nose in disgust of his breath.

"I always miss you," he replied, and his lips moved to her mouth again.

"Okay, Mister Just-one-glass, I think you should go to bed now," Lisa said and pulled him up the stairs.

She noticed in the corner of her eye that Piper was giving her the stare of death, something quite startling considering her shyness, but Remus staggered, and she had to put his arm around her shoulders to steady him. Once Lisa got him into the dormitory, he pushed her against the door.

"You taste of seaweed," he said, kissing her neck.

"You taste of Firewhisky," she replied, pushing him off her. It was strange to see him with a loosened tie. Oh, and acting drunk, that was pretty weird too. "Come on, it's time for bed."

He tried to resist, and Lisa was surprised how strong he was, even inebriated to this degree. In the end, she had to levitate him into the four-poster.

"Alright now, have a good night sleep. We'll talk again when your breath doesn't stink."

"Don't leave me," he said like a child and suddenly wrapped his fingers around her wrist.

"Let me at least take a shower."

"Don't go," he repeated, his grip tightening slightly. There was something so desperate in his voice, something so vulnerable, that she couldn't refuse. Sighing deeply, Lisa slipped under the covers with him, and he immediately drew her into a hug.

"I'm always afraid you'll go," he breathed into her forehead. Maybe she should've made him brush his teeth first.

"First of all, you're the one that constantly wants to break up with me. And second—"

"I don't want to." His arms tightened around her waist, and she looked up at him in surprise. His eyes were closed, but his brows were furrowed, and words just kept spilling out. "I always want you next to me. When you go away, it feels as if something's missing. You make me forget what I am, what world we live in and how dark the future is for me. But I keep waiting for you to get tired of it all, to say it's too much to take. I can't expect you to put up with everything, with what I am and how it affects me. I still remember the way you looked at me when you saw me transformed, and I want to keep you safe, but I'm too selfish. And too afraid. Constantly afraid. At night it gets unbearable sometimes. I have nightmares about it, about the time I almost killed you, and I'm terrified it might happen again, but this time James and Sirius won't be there to stop me. And if that ever happened, if I hurt you, if I  _lost_  you, that would be it for me. I don't know if I can face it all without you."

She blinked at him in astonishment. He hadn't even hinted at any of this before. Placing a palm on his cheek, she kissed him slowly, trying to reassure him that everything would be alright, as he drew her even closer.


	7. Good Enough

Lisa was woken up by a painful groan. She picked herself up to see that for the very first time, she and Remus had forgotten to draw the curtains around the bed. There was an extra pair of legs showing from under Sirius' covers on the left, and Peter was snoring head first into the pillow, still fully clothed. The groan was coming from James' bed, where he was sitting up too, glasses askew and hair messier than normal.

"Remind me to just get you lot some chocolate next time I try to cheer you up," Lisa quipped, and he threw a pillow at her, but missed, and it smacked Remus, who also started moaning.

Everyone in the room woke up, with Peter sleepily heading to the bathroom, presumably to wash the saliva from his face, and Sirius' sheets stirring as a girl's messy head popped out of them. She squeaked, and the covers moved as if there was a whole nest of doxies in there.

"Stop squirming!" Sirius said, sitting up himself, and tapped the girl on the head with his wand, casting a Disillusionment Charm on her. She stopped moving, and her body slowly started to take the color and texture of the sheets. When she was completely invisible, she threw the covers off, grabbed her clothes from the floor, and all they saw was the door open and close loudly, causing the Marauders to groan and Lisa to giggle.

"Who was that?" James threw a glance at the door.

"Don't remember her name. I'm pretty sure she's a sixth year... or was that the blonde?" Sirius scratched his head.

"It was Sophie Belfield, and she's a fifth year," Lisa said. "You really are disgusting, by the way. There were  _four_  other people in the room. Have you no shame?"

"Look who's talking! You and Moony were snogging full on in front of the entire common room last night!"

Remus' face went red. "We were? Last night's a bit of a blur..."

"Because you can't hold your Firewhisky!" Lisa laughed. "And is there even a point in asking why Piper was on your lap?"

Remus' eyes went wide. "What!?"

"She probably put some love potion in his drink or something," James sniggered.

Lisa raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Yeah? Then why was he all over  _me_  afterwards?"

"It was faulty?" Sirius shrugged. "What's it matter? Moony can't even take notes properly when you're not around; I doubt Spudgen's charms would be very effective on him  _sober_. In fact, I'm starting to doubt it was a good idea for you two to start going out; it's throwing off our whole group dynamic! How am I supposed to revise for the N.E.W.T.s if I can't borrow his notes?!"

Remus' face was an even darker shade of red when he threw James' pillow, and it hit Sirius right in the face.

"Padfoot?" James called when his friend stayed down, but all he got as a response was a loud snore. Peter got out of the bathroom and collapsed in his bed again. "Well, it  _is_  a Sunday," James murmured, lying back down. "Might as well go back to sleep."

"Not me," Remus protested and tried to get up but caught his head with a painful groan.

"I'll make you something for that. Meet me downstairs in twenty minutes?" Lisa offered, and he nodded. She smiled, kissed his cheek and went back to the girls' dorm.

Lily was in a state similar to James, still clothed and passed out. Marlene was nowhere to be seen, but Alice was sleeping peacefully in her bed. Lisa hopped into the bathroom, hoping to finally wash away the dreadful lake water from her hair, but found Marlene there, clutching a bottle of Firewhisky and snoring on the floor. With a sigh, Lisa levitated her back to her bed and tucked her in, before taking a shower and going back to the common room to find a frowning Remus.

"Sorry, I didn't want to wake up the girls... wanna go for a walk? Some fresh air might help."

He nodded, and after a quick stop at the breakfast table, the two of them strolled by the edge of the lake, hand in hand. He closed his eyes and breathed in the cold morning air.

"Feeling better?" she asked.

"A little. I've never been hung-over before..."

"Really? James and Sirius are certainly no strangers to it."

"I'm usually the sober one that keeps them out of trouble," he said dryly, but the corners of his mouth twitched upwards.

"So why did you drink so much last night? How much did you have, anyway?"

"I can't even remember. Was Piper really in my lap?"

"Yeah. It was weird, seeing you drunk. Talk about In Vino Veritas..."

"Why?" His voice was suddenly alarmed. "What did I say?"

Lisa looked at the ground, cursing herself for slipping up. He didn't remember it, but he was so vulnerable last night... so bare. She squeezed his hand involuntarily. "You just... said some things... I didn't even know you were thinking." He stopped and made her look at him, waiting tensely for her to continue. "Do you really... expect me to get tired of you?"

He pulled a sour expression and looked away. "What else?"

"You think I'm scared of you. And... you're afraid of hurting me, but I already knew that. And you have nightmares about it."

He let go of her and turned his whole body to the lake, shaking slightly.

"Hey." She took his hand in hers. "Why haven't you told me any of this before?" He didn't reply. "We could have talked about it..."

"There's nothing to talk about. You shouldn't be around me, and I regret letting you all the time."

"Liar," she said gently, turning his face to look at her. "You want to be with me. And I want to be with you. I'm not afraid, and I'll never get tired of you. We have endless things to talk about; I don't think I've ever connected so much with anyone, not even Cass. You are intelligent, and well-read, and kind to a fault, and when I'm weak or scared, you give me strength. You keep my anger under control, and I admit I'm not exactly ecstatic about the mood swings, but you know what? It's worth it.  _You're_  worth it."

"I can't ask you to—"

"You don't have to."

She reached up to cup his face and kissed him softly.

* * *

oOo

Lisa was running down the hallway, gasping for breath. It was only a rumor, surely! Dorcas wasn't an idiot; she must know better than this! The angry Gryffindor stormed into the Library, where her friend was waiting for her, like every Friday.

"Please tell me Marlene is making things up!"

The Slytherin looked up with cold surprise. "You're gonna have to be more specific than that."

"You and Rosier. Is that a rumor or not?" Lisa demanded urgently, but she knew the answer before her friend even opened her mouth. "Are you  _insane_?!"

"He's had a crush on me since third year," Dorcas replied casually, going back to her homework.

"Cass, he  _tried to kill you_! More than once! He kidnapped and tortured you, did you forget!?"

"That was Snape," the black-haired girl corrected her. "Evan tried to get me on their side more times than he ever attacked me."

"Are you even listening to yourself right now?! You're a Defender  _and_  in The Order; how do you ever see this working out?!"

"As long as he thinks there's a chance he can turn me, we get along fine."

"Cass!" Lisa slammed her hand on the table, making her look up. "He can hurt you. Actually, intentionally hurt you! He's a Death Eater!"

"Maybe that's what we need. People of both sides coming together to form an understanding..."

" _Understanding!?_  Are you kidding me?! He wants to kill muggle-borns! It's because of people like him that Mary and my sister are DEAD! Since when are you okay with dating someone like that?!"

"There's more to people than just one trait!" Dorcas snapped. "Has it crossed your mind that maybe he understands me and makes me feel good? That he's not torturing muggle-borns in his free time? Yes, he thinks they shouldn't be allowed in Hogwarts, but he doesn't like to hurt people unless he has to. But you know that better than me. Think back to last year, when he hit you with Cruciatus. You know a person has to mean it to hurt. Which was worse, his or Snape's?"

Lisa was stunned into silence for a whole minute. "He's still their leader!"

"And he's made sure no one's died."

"Yet."

The two girls glared at each other.

"Tell me you're not turning traitor," Lisa said, looking into her friend's blue eyes desperately.

"You know the answer to that."

They stared at each other for a while more, each trying to get across their feelings on the matter with just a look.

In the end, Lisa sighed heavily and sank into a chair. "Fine. It's your life, do what you want. But we are  _not_  double dating!"

The coldness in Dorcas' eyes melted away, and she laughed.

* * *

oOo

After a particularly exhausting Quidditch practice the following week, Lisa was walking back to Gryffindor Tower with James and Sirius, making jokes and poking fun at the Slytherin team, when the inevitable happened – they came across Dorcas and Rosier, holding hands and walking down the hallway. Lisa shot a look at Sirius, and sure enough, his wand was already out.

"Sirius, don't—" she tried to say, but he shrugged her hand off and hit Rosier with a Knockback Jinx.

The whole corridor suddenly went quiet, and students stopped walking to gawk at the scene. Dorcas gave Sirius a cold stare, then slowly went over to Rosier and helped him back on his feet.

"Really, Meadowes? Him? If you want to make me jealous so badly, why don't you go date Filtch, at least he smells better!" Sirius said.

Dorcas rolled her eyes. "Why am I not surprised? The great Sirius Black, always thinking the world revolves around  _you_. Guess what, I happen to  _not_  base my decisions around what  _you_  want."

"Yeah, right! This is just because you're still mad at me for having a laugh!"

Dorcas' eyes flashed dangerously. "A  _laugh_? You mean when you pretended you were  _dead_? That only served to show me how much of an empty-headed tosser you really are. I want  _nothing_  to do with you."

"At least get back at me with someone who isn't a Death Eater!" Sirius snapped. "That git will kill you in your sleep!"

"Don't tell me what I will or won't do, Black," Rosier rumbled threateningly, and Sirius sent a curse his way, but he easily blocked it. Dorcas pulled out her wand, and Sirius aimed at her, but then Lisa's was out too, pointed at Sirius.

"You're getting carried away, mate" Lisa said warningly.

"He tortured you!" Sirius wheeled on her. "How are you okay with this?!"

"I'm not, really," she admitted. "But don't. Pull your wand. On her."

They glared at each other for a bit, before his eyes turned back to Dorcas.

"I never thought you'd sink so low," he spat, lowering the wand.

"Why not? Snogged you, didn't I?" she replied coldly.

"At least I don't roll around in bed with Death Eaters!"

"At least  _I_  remember the names of the people I roll around with!"

Sirius' whole face was getting red with rage, hands balled into fists and shaking, but Dorcas ignored him and calmly continued down the hall, followed by Rosier.

"You brought this on yourself, you know," Lisa said to him once they were back in the common room. "If you hadn't been such an immature prat around her..."

"So  _now_  it's my fault she can't keep it in her pants?!"

"Of course she wouldn't admit it!" Lisa sighed impatiently. "She might feel something for Rosier, but I guarantee you that if you had only shown a smidgen of maturity, she wouldn't be with him right now!"

Sirius dropped into an armchair and sank into his thoughts. James gave him a sympathetic look but didn't say anything.

* * *

oOo

When Lisa left the Ancient Runes classroom on Monday, her head was so full of tangled thoughts she almost didn't notice the girl waiting for her outside.

"Hey, Lisa," Piper said timidly. "You mind if we talk for a bit?"

Lisa stared at her as if she'd just breathed lightning. Why was the sixth year talking to her? So far, she had taken every chance to ignore her completely and flirt incisively with her boyfriend right in front of her face. Still, she nodded and followed Piper into and empty classroom.

Lisa sat on top of one of the desks. "So... what is it?"

"I don't think you're good enough for Remus," Piper said bluntly.

Lisa gawked at her, thinking she might be hallucinating. The brunette in front of her looked like a completely different person. Gone was the aversion of the eyes, gone was the slight hunch in her shoulders and any other semblance of shyness she normally displayed. Something was seriously off about this girl.

"... Excuse me?"

"You heard me. I think you're holding him back."

Well, that was a first. It was almost funny to hear that after all of his insistence  _he_  wasn't good enough for her.

"I don't think that's really any of your business."

"I don't think you understand what it means for him to be tied to you," Piper said coldly. "You're a blood traitor. Your father is wanted by the Death Eaters. The second you step foot outside of Hogwarts, you'll be hunted. Do you really want to put him through that? Having to constantly look over his shoulder?"

Lisa once again found herself completely dumbfounded. She really hadn't thought about that. Why hadn't she thought about that?

"He is amazing, you know. He could be great, but  _you_  won't let him," Piper continued, glaring at her.

"Listen, I'll grant you the Death Eater thing, but how am I holding him back?" Oh, no. She was letting it get to her. Great, just what their relationship needed –  _more_  doubts!

"You clearly can't match him in either intellectual or magical level. He can't reach his full potential because of you."

"Potential for what?"

"He has the qualities of a leader; he can truly make a change, but because of you, he won't!"

"What in the name of Merlin's nose hair are you blathering about?!"

Just then, the door swung open and Remus walked in. "Hey Lisa, I've been wondering where you ran off to. We have History of Magic next; what're you doing in here?"

Piper dropped her gaze, mumbled some excuse and scurried out of the room, leaving a very confused Lisa behind to stare after her, wondering what in the bloody hell just happened.

* * *

oOo

"Remus?" Lisa whispered that night, propping herself up on one elbow in the bed.

"What?" he murmured, caressing her exposed shoulder.

"Do you think..." She knew however she phrased it, it would come out cheesy. "I mean... am I... good enough for you?"

He stared at her in surprise for a moment. "Is this because of Piper?"

"Not entirely..." she admitted, twisting a bit of his hair between her fingers. "I've seen you when you fight, and..." She shook her head, remembering how he took down four at once nonverbally. "You really are amazing. And my magic isn't even half as strong as yours, so I just wondered... What made you fall for me and not someone more... on your level?"

He reached up and tucked a lock of her own hair behind her ear. "You are on my level. That shield you conjured in the battle at the muggle fair was some really advanced magic."

"That shield broke down immediately!"

"Still saved my life." He shrugged. "As for why I fell for you... It wasn't one specific thing... and it happened so gradually, I didn't even notice until I saw you on the train in the beginning of sixth year. As you would say, there doesn't have to be a reason."

"If that's true, why aren't you going after Piper? At least she's giving you a reason," she quipped.

"She's not you," he replied simply, gazing at her lovingly.

Lisa bent down and kissed him. "I'm serious. Why me?"

"You just want me to compliment you!"

She tried to muffle her laugh in his chest. "So what if I do? Aren't you required by boyfriend law to do that or something?"

Remus sighed. "I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride; I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you; so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close."

She rolled her eyes, but said, "I love you as certain dark things are to be loved; in secret, between the shadow and the soul."

"Don't leave me, even for an hour, because then the little drops of anguish will all run together; the smoke that roams looking for a home will drift into me, choking my lost heart _._ "

"You are so full of it!" She poked him in the ribs, and he chuckled. "You think I wouldn't recognize the poetry of Pablo Neruda because I'm a pureblood? Or did you just want to trade Spanish quotes so you don't have to answer the question?"

"What do you want me to say?" He hugged her tightly, and she laid her head on his chest. "I can't explain it, I just feel it."

"Fine then." Lisa pouted. "Keep your secrets."

A chuckle rumbled through his body again as he leaned down to kiss the top of her head, and she couldn't help but smile.


	8. One of Them

"That Piper bird is barmy!" Dorcas exclaimed as she and Lisa were walking around the Lake in the first November snow. "Not on his level... and what ideas is she entertaining, that  _she_  will be a better match? I can't believe you let her rubbish into your head!"

"She has a point though," Lisa said. "Have you  _seen_  him duel?"

"I'm sure in your head he looked like the reincarnation of Godric Gryffindor himself." Dorcas rolled her eyes. "She was just trying to get under your skin; did you forget she wants your man?"

Lisa chuckled. "All is fair in love and war, right?" 

"Why is it that you hear that more often about love than you do about war?" Dorcas grumbled.

"Because no one expects you to be fair in war," Lisa said. "Maybe she even staged that scene he 'saved' her from. Does she know Gott or Avery?"

Dorcas frowned. "What do you mean, he 'saved' her?"

"Oh, didn't I tell you about that? She was being attacked by those two and Remus helped her out. That's why she's so obsessed, classic Knight in Shining Armor Syndrome, really—"

"They were  _attacking_  her?" Dorcas interrupted. "But she's a half-blood." 

"I know that," Lisa said. "Maybe they thought she was someone else or something."

"Death Eaters don't attack at random in Hogwarts."

"You'd know, seeing as you're dating one," Lisa quipped, but Dorcas didn't seem to hear.

"There's something off about this. Was that really how it happened?"

"Yes, he was the one that told me the story. Where are you going with this?"

Dorcas stared thoughtfully at the still black waters of the lake. "I think... she really might have staged it."

Lisa stared at her in disbelief for a moment. "Look, when I said that, I was just kidding. Even if she  _was_  friends with Gott and Avery, which is a stretch in itself, those two wouldn't waste effort just so she could possibly enamor Remus. Plus, if she wanted him that badly, she could've always slipped him a love potion and gotten it over and done with."

"Love potion needs to be taken regularly to keep up the effect. Not to mention there are a few telltale signs when someone's on it, and Lupin hangs out around Lily too often. She would spot it immediately," Dorcas argued.

"Are we seriously talking about this?"

"You said yourself there was something off about her!"

"I've only spoken to her  _once_! Cass, think about what you're saying..."

"I'm not saying anything. I just think you should look into that girl. All this seems a little too off to be a coincidence."

* * *

oOo

"REMUS LUPIN!" Lisa bellowed, running toward the Arithmancy classroom, which the confused Marauders were just leaving. "What is  _this_!?" she demanded angrily, shoving an open book under her startled boyfriend's nose.

He backed up slightly to read a few lines. "Er...  _Animal Ghosts of Britain_?"

"MY copy of  _Animal Ghosts of Britain,_  thank you very much, but I was asking about  _those_!" she shouted, sticking her finger on the right page. "Why are there  _chocolate stains_  on my book, Remus!?"

His face paled, while his friends exchanged amused Moony-is-in-trouble grins.

"I-I just wanted to—"

"IF YOU'RE GOING TO BORROW MY BOOKS, DON'T EAT CHOCOLATE WHILE YOU READ THEM!" Lisa shouted, beside herself with rage.

"You're one to talk! You eat and read all the—"

"But I  _never_  stain them and  _never_  eat with  _my fingers_!"

"Aright, I'll be more careful next time, I promise," he said, taking a defensive step back, but his eyes fluttered to her bag incriminatingly.

Lisa's nostrils flared up with anger. "What. Else. Have. You.  _Touched_?"

"Er, n-nothing! Just needed to check something in  _Spellman's Syllabary_ , and..."

She gasped and rifled through her bag frantically, but he took the opportunity to bolt down the corridor.

"Come back here!" Lisa shouted and shoved the bag at James, running after him. "I will strangle you with my  _bare hands_!"

Remus' laughter echoed down the hallway, and she wondered how a sickly bookworm like him was outrunning her. He made a sharp turn in the Charms corridor, and when she followed, he was gone. The blonde witch walked slowly between the portraits and tapestries, still seething with anger.

"Come out, you inconsiderate, little—"

But before she could finish, a pair of arms wrapped around her and pulled her behind the tapestry on the left. She suddenly found herself against the wall, both hands pinned to the hard stone by his.

"What was that about strangling me?" Remus whispered playfully, just a centimeter away from her face.

"Just you wait, Lupin. I'll get you for this!" She panted angrily, but the fireworks in her stomach were going off in full force.

"Those are some awfully big words for someone who's not even holding a wand."

"I don't need magic to kill you!" Lisa insisted, but the mischievous flame in his eyes was starting to make her knees feel weak.

"Oh, so we're up to premeditated murder now? That's punishable by a life sentence in Azkaban, you know. Are a few chocolate stains really worth that?"

At the mentioning of his crime Lisa's subsided rage flared up again, and she struggled fiercely to break free, but his hands held hers firmly in place.

"Just wait till I get my hands on you!  _Staining books_  should be punishable by an Azkaban sentence!"

"'Get your hands on me'? I think I rather like the sound of that."

Lisa blushed violently. His breath was tickling her face, and the warmth in her stomach was spreading all the way to her fingertips...

"Stop making my revenge sound kinky! I can still kick you!"

"Is that a fact?" he whispered, pressing his body against hers. Lisa was almost sure he could feel her heart beating frantically against her chest, and thought she might just pass out from the heat passing between them.

"You better start sleeping with one eye open, because I  _will_  get you back for this!" She tried to sound threatening, but the effect was somewhat dulled by the fact she was breathing heavily and couldn't look away from his mouth, hovering only a millimeter away...

"I'd like to see you try." He smirked slightly and finally crashed his lips into hers.

Their fingers intertwined, but just as the kiss was intensifying, they heard footsteps running down the hallway. The tapestry was flung aside, and Peter stood there, staring at them with a panicked face.

"It's Sirius," he said in between heavy pants. "And Dorcas. In the Corridor. James said... to get you."

Remus and Lisa exchanged glances and quickly broke apart to follow Peter back the way they came. And sure enough, there was a crowd of students blocking the corridor, forming a large circle around Dorcas and Sirius, who were glaring at each other, wands drawn. Rosier and James were both pointing their wands at each other too, as Snape, Regulus and the rest of the Slytherin gang were gathering ominously behind Dorcas. Lisa immediately flung herself between them, facing her friend, and Remus followed, his hands spread out defensively towards Sirius.

"You know you don't want to do this, Sirius," he said gently.

"Get out of the way, Moony!" Sirius barked.

"Put it down, Cass," Lisa said warningly. The Slytherin didn't reply and continued to glare at Sirius over her shoulder. A flicker of anger flashed in Lisa's eyes, and she approached until Dorcas' wand was poking her in the chest. "Enough of this," she said in a voice so low, only Dorcas could hear. "You look me in the eyes, and you tell me this whole business has nothing to do with your feelings towards Sirius." The brunette's eyes finally snapped to look at her, burning with emotions. Anger. Hurt. Shame. They could hear Remus trying to talk his friend down, but the words were just muffled gibberish.

"This isn't worth it, Cass," Lisa continued quietly. "It's spiraling out of control."

" _My fault_?!" Sirius bellowed suddenly. "She's the one that's becoming a Death Eater! Next thing you know, she'll sell us all out between the sheets!"

"Death Eater!?" Dorcas hissed. "Why you miserable, little—"

"Cass," Lisa interrupted quietly. "Just take a look behind you."

The Slytherin turned her head slightly, and her eyes widened upon seeing the Death Eaters were practically ready to jump in her defense.

"Are you getting bitter, Black?" Avery sneered, stepping forward. "You can't blame a girl for wanting to be on the winning side..."

"You haven't won anything yet!" Sirius snarled.

"Haven't we?" Snape drawled calmly, his upper lip curling into a smirk. "Shall I fetch the  _Daily Prophet_  for you, Black? Or would you just slobber all over it?"

Sirius glared at him venomously for a moment, before fixing his cold stare on Dorcas again. "So, your new friends come to your defense, do they? You really  _are_  one of them."

The Death Eaters drew their wands as Dorcas just stood there and stared at him. Then for a fraction of a second they saw her eyes well up with tears, before she turned on her heel and ran down the corridor as the sounds of hexes being fired echoed behind her.

* * *

oOo

Ten minutes later, Dorcas sat on the bottom of the staircase, her head buried in her knees. Was Lisa right? Had she lost control of the situation? If anyone had told her a month ago the likes of Snape and Avery would be looking out for her, she would've laughed in their face. Yet here she was, being backed up by them, talking to them in the common room, even playing wizard's chess with Regulus! When had this happened? Why hadn't she noticed it? But then, was Sirius right too?  _Was_  she turning traitor? She was spending time with those gits because of Evan, but had she started to like them? Had she started sympathizing? They told her again and again that they could use someone like her, that Dumbledore was a fool and whatever measly defense he and his little group could muster was pointless. And the worst thing? She agreed. The Order was never going to defeat Voldemort. He had too much power, too many resources and followers. What was the point? If you can't beat them, join them, right?

But killing muggles? Hating muggle-borns just for existing? That wasn't her. Evan had tried to convince her that she could do more about them in the Death Eaters than she could in the Order. At least if she rose through the ranks, she could keep the more sadistic followers in check. But just the thought of betraying Lisa like that, it felt like a sharp stab right in the stomach. And fighting everyone in the Defenders and having Sirius look at her that way... like she was a traitor.

Her throat was burning with tears, when she felt someone sit down next to her. Trying to stabilize her beating heart, she waited for Lisa to speak.

"You're right," Dorcas said when her friend remained silent. "It did get out of control. I swear I never wanted it to get this far. And I haven't told them anything!"

"I know," said a calm, soothing voice, and Dorcas looked up in surprise to see it belonged to Remus Lupin. "Nobody really thinks that."

"What're you doing here, Lupin? Shouldn't you be high-fiving Sirius for finally getting one over me?" Dorcas said with a sour smile.

Remus frowned. "If I congratulated him after every time he humiliated someone, I would never get anything done. Lisa was hit with Conjunctivitis, and James had to take her to the Hospital Wing, so I—"

"So she sent you to check up on me?"

"No." He smiled faintly at her. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

Dorcas chuckled to herself and gave him a long, appraising look. "You know, I wasn't always convinced you were good enough for Lisa," she said. "You seemed to be giving her more trouble that you're worth. But if you were wearing a skirt right now, I'd swear I was talking with her."

"I'm so glad to know I could pass for a girl if I ever needed to," he quipped, finally getting a genuine laugh out of her.

* * *

oOo

"For the last time, you're delusional," James insisted as he and Lisa were walking back to Gryffindor Tower. "The Montrose Magpies will never hold their own against the Falmouth Falcons! Those guys are  _brutal_!"

"They're rough, but the Magpies are just better!" Lisa repeated again. "Savage strength and an allergy of playing fair can't make up for talent! If it did, we'd be creamed by the Slytherins twenty times over by now!"

"True, but without Fabius Watkins they don't stand a chance!"

"Get over yourself! Need I remind you the Falcons haven't won the League Cup even  _once_?"

"Will you stop falling on statistics every time we talk about Quidditch!?" James exclaimed, irritated. "Bloody math doesn't matter! The Chudley Cannons won twenty-one times, but that didn't stop them from losing in every game since 1892!"

"Urg, I can't  _believe_  you're dragging the Cannons into this again!"

"I wouldn't have to, if you didn't bring up statistics all the time!"

"Stats  _do_  matter!"

"But they can't predict the outcome of a match!"

"There's a bigger chance of lightning striking me right now than the Falcons beating the Magpies next—!"

BANG!

Lisa found herself on the floor, rubbing her throbbing forehead and glared at the suit of armor, as if it made her bump into it.

"You were saying?" James snickered, helping her up.

"Oh, shut up! That doesn't mean anything; I'm already walking half blind here!" Lisa grumbled, gingerly touching the sensitive skin below her right eye. Madam Pomfrey had said it might take about half an hour before it went back to normal.

"Well, the swelling's down. And your eye's not as bloodshot as before," James said encouragingly, but she only frowned at him. "I never got to thank you, by the way," he added as the two of them started down the corridor again.

"Thank me for what?"

"For helping me with Lily lately. You've done more for me on that front than all the Marauders together in the last three years!"

Lisa chuckled. "It wasn't just me, you know. You've been really responsible this year. She told me she admires how you handle the Head stuff, said you've changed, matured a bit."

"Really?" He perked up. "And she said she likes that?"

"This comes as a surprise to you?" Lisa raised her eyebrow. "She's been reprimanding you for acting alike a five-year-old for years!"

"I thought she was playing hard to get!" he exclaimed in his defense, and she laughed loudly.

"You're impossible, you know that?"

"That's what she said! Why do girls keep saying that?!"

Lisa laughed again, but an idea suddenly popped into her head. "You know, if you really want to replay me for Lily, you could tell me what you lot do once a month to keep Remus under control."

James gaped at her in surprise. "Moony hasn't told you?"

"Said it wasn't his secret to tell. What could be worse that what I already know about him?"

"Er, w-well..." James stuttered, running a hand through the back of his head, making the black hair stand on end. "We sneak out and—"

"James! Lisa!" a voice echoed behind them, and they turned to see Benjy Fenwick, running at them with robes wildly beating in the air. "Dumbledore... said... to give... you this," the Ravenclaw panted heavily and held out a roll of parchment.

"Another meeting?" James wondered aloud and reached for it, but Benjy pulled back with a blush.

"Erm... it's for her, actually."

Lisa and James exchanged confused glances, but she took the parchment and unfurled it.

"He wants to see me in his office." She gulped and shot him a panicked look.

"I'm sure it's nothing," James tried to reassure her, but there was doubt in his eyes.

They turned around, and he walked her to the gargoyle statue guarding the moving spiral staircase to the Headmaster's office. James tried to diffuse the tension with jokes, but Lisa felt a heavy, cold weight in her stomach. The last time she saw Dumbledore alone, it was to tell her her sister had been killed by Death Eaters.

"You want me to go in with you?" James offered, seeing her distraught face.

"...No.," she said. "I'll be alright, you can head back."

"I'm not moving from this spot," he said firmly, and Lisa couldn't help but smile gratefully. If it really was bad news, she didn't want to face it alone.


	9. Letters from Home

"You wanted to see me, Professor?" Lisa asked shakily, entering the Headmaster's office.

"Ah, yes. Please, sit down," the old wizard said, looking at her over his half-moon glasses.

Lisa sat nervously in the chair on the other side of the claw-legged desk.

"Miss Fawley—"

"Is this about my parents?" Lisa blurted out impulsively.

Dumbledore looked at her for a long moment, and then said calmly, "No, Lisa. As far as I am informed, your family has not been discovered by Lord Voldemort as of yet."

Lisa let out a breath she hadn't even realized she was holding. For so long she had been so furious at her parents; mad at them for letting Julie die, and mad at herself for not being there to protect her. Despite Frank's constant insistence that she should forgive them, Lisa just couldn't find it in herself to do it. She barely spoke to them all summer, preferring to spend time in the Lupin household, and didn't even look them in the eyes on the 1st of September before going off to Hogwarts. But now, even though it only lasted a couple of minutes, she was scared they might be dead and felt horrible, thinking about how things between them could be left unfinished. Just like what happened with Mary McDonald.

"However," Dumbledore continued, snapping her out from her thoughts, "I am afraid the reason I have called you here tonight is not a happy one, nonetheless."

"This is about the Order, then?" she supposed, gripping the bottom of the chair harder as the Headmaster nodded slowly.

"Are you aware, Lisa, that Voldemort has Death Eaters planted in the Ministry?"

"Yes." She nodded. "In every other large organization, too. My dad told me about a coworker of his that tried to kill the editor in chief in the  _Daily Prophet_  last year."

"Correct. And if I am not mistaken, the Death Eater in question used the Imperius curse to try to manipulate another to do the deed?" Dumbledore said. Lisa nodded again. "Lately, Lord Voldemort's followers have taken to using this curse to gain control of certain key figures in the Ministry. You know, I presume, that said curse can be countered?"

"By force of will, yes. We learned about it in Defense Against the Dark Arts in fifth year," she confirmed.

"So what do you suppose happens to those the Death Eaters cannot control?" Dumbledore asked, as if they were in class.

"They kill them?" Lisa guessed.

"A reasonable assumption. But then the deaths in the Ministry would become more frequent by the day, and certain patterns would emerge, pointing to the culprits. And as of yet the Minister for Magic is, presumably, still out of Voldemort's reach, which keeps him from attaining full power over of the Ministry."

"Then... they threaten them. Or bribe them."

"And what if such figures, as let us say the Minister, have all the gold they need, as well as a guard of Aurors by their side at all times? Or, for the sake of argument, are really good at hiding their location or have some other method of defending themselves?"

"Well, then..." Lisa trailed off as Dumbledore stared at her expectantly. "Then, I don't know. If they can't kill or manipulate them—"

"They  _impersonate_ them," he finished for her. "Brewing a Polyjuice Potion and taking over the jobs of important people is a simple enough thing to do, for an organization such as theirs."

Lisa gaped at him in shock. "So you mean... right  _now_..."

"Right now, some very influential higher-ups are being held somewhere, while others walk around the Ministry in their place. The Death Eaters would need them alive, so they may continue to use their hair as an ingredient in the Potion," the old wizard confirmed gravely.

"But... Professor, are you  _sure_? I mean, anyone can act a bit out of character every now and then..."

"I have a suspicion. However, my suspicions often turn out to be correct."

Lisa stared at him in silence for a moment, trying to comprehend just how bad things had gotten.

"Are you planning a rescue mission then, Sir?" she asked.

"Yes. But... there is one problem. We don't know  _where_  exactly the Death Eaters keep their prisoners."

They looked at each other in silence again. Where was the Headmaster going with this?

"Is that why you called me here?" Lisa asked, feeling very confused. She didn't possess any tracking or Seer abilities and didn't understand why Dumbledore couldn't just say these things in the next Order meeting.

"Yes." The Headmaster's face suddenly became much more sullen and tired. "Try as we might, we have been unable to discover where the imprisoned individuals are kept. The only option we have, is... to have someone on the inside."

And then it dawned on her.

"You want me to allow myself to be captured."

Dumbledore bent forward slightly and bore into her with his piercing blue eyes. "They will kill anyone else they take. But you, they will want to keep you alive, at least for a while."

"To draw out my dad," she finished darkly.

"Many Death Eaters haven't forgotten that is was him who leaked their names and forced them into hiding. They want revenge, and Lord Voldemort himself is not very pleased that your family has escaped his grasp for so long."

"I understand," Lisa said hollowly.

"No one will make you agree to do this, Lisa," the Headmaster stressed. "But without your help we may never find those people."

She was quiet again as he waited patiently for her to say something.

"How will you find me?"

Dumbledore's posture relaxed slightly. "We will charm a ring you will be wearing. It will leave a trace that only the Order will be able to follow."

"Right," Lisa said stiffly. She had to let herself be captured. Probably tortured. She wanted to stand up and leave, but her limbs seemed as heavy as lead.

"We'll do everything in our power to ensure you come to no lasting harm, but this will be dangerous," Dumbledore spoke again. She nodded once more, staring at the hem of her skirt. "And... I would like you to keep this plan a secret from our young members."

Her eyes immediately snapped to meet his. "Why?"

"Well, on one hand, because I would rather they do not have the chance to attempt to dissuade you from the mission, as they will undoubtedly try to do. It would only serve to make you hesitate and doubt the efficacy of the plan, and it is crucial that you do not, if we want it to succeed. Then there is also the fact that we want it to look convincing. We don't want either them or you to slip, or do something that would betray our intentions..."

Lisa shot up, knocking the chair to the ground. "What if one of them gets killed trying to save me?"

"Everyone on the Order is an extraordinary witch or wizard," Dumbledore said. "We have been fighting for more than a year now, and no one has died in—"

"Statistics can't predict the outcome of a battle," Lisa echoed James' words bitterly. "It only takes one slip up to—"

"Lisa," Dumbledore said calmly, but firmly, and she found herself shutting up. "I promise you, none of your friends are going to die trying to protect you, if you do exactly as I say. I assure you, they will only be in the dark for a very short period of time. As soon as it is done, I will explain the situation to everyone."

Lisa's hands balled into fists, and she looked down at the ground. She didn't want to do this. Dorcas would lose it. Sirius would curse all over the place, James would blow something up, Lily would cry... and Remus...

"Just for a little while," Dumbledore added quietly. "Less than an hour, you have my word."

* * *

oOo

"What was it?" James asked nervously as Lisa descended the spiral staircase.

"Nothing, really," she replied, trying not to be sick. "Dumbledore just wanted to tell me he got Frank into the Order."

"He did, huh?" James smiled approvingly. "Good, I was wondering how long it might take Mad-Eye to bring him into the fold."

Lisa nodded, still feeling that weight in her stomach. Not only did she have to endure who knows what by being captured, she had to do it with the knowledge her friends would think it was real. As if Remus' psyche wasn't wobbly enough...

"Hey... you don't look so good. You sure you're okay?" James asked with concern, eyeing her pale face.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just..." Lisa found it was best when lying to tell half-truths. "For a moment there, I really thought my family was dead."

James was quiet for a bit and then patted her shoulder comfortingly. "I'm sure they're doing fine... you'll go home in a couple of weeks and everything will be alright."

"I don't really want to go back to that house. It has too many painful memories," she admitted bitterly. "To tell you the truth, the only place that I've felt at home for the last few months is your dormitory."

"I expected this, to be honest. All women succumb to the Potter charm eventually." He grinned mischievously. "Don't worry, I'll make sure Moony never finds out about our passionate affair." He winked at her playfully, and to her surprise, Lisa found the ball in her stomach lessen.

They both laughed, and she punched him in the shoulder as the Fat Lady waited irritably for the password.

"What are you two so happy about?" Sirius asked as James and Lisa joined in on the table he, Remus and Peter were occupying.

"Quidditch!" they said in unison, exchanged quick glances and erupted into a new fit of laughter, causing the rest of the Marauders to stare at them in confusion.

* * *

oOo

That night Lisa did something she hadn't done in nearly a year – she pulled out the stack of letters from her parents. Since Julie's death, she didn't want anything to do with her family. She ignored the post, only occasionally glanced at her dad's articles in the Daily Prophet, avoided them as much as she could in person and only answered with one or two short sentences when they spoke to her. But even though she was angry with them, she had saved very letter. Every single one.

With a trembling hand, Lisa pulled the string holding the pile together, and the envelopes spilled onto her sheets. She picked one up at random and broke the seal. As her eyes slid down the parchment her vision slowly became blurrier, and soon the flimsy light from her wand started shaking in her hand.

_Lisa,_

_I know this isn't getting any easier. Your mother has been locked up in the bedroom for days now, but I get her to eat once a day. I don't blame you for not coming to the funeral. It was a small affair; the Death Eaters will probably still be looking for us. I know you might hate me for what I'm about to say, your mother certainly has had at least a dozen breakdowns about it already... but I need to tell you. I don't regret what I did._

_If you still haven't burned this or thrown it against the wall, let me explain. Please._

_You must understand that some things are more important. More important than me, or you, or our family. Knowing the identity of those nine Death Eaters probably saved the lives of many little girls just like Julie. We're in the middle of a war, sweetheart, we have to be strong for those who cannot be, and we can't expect to come out of this unscathed. That is what everyone is doing right now; bowing their head to Voldemort because he threatens their families, but if everyone succumbed to him, think of what would happen to our world. Someone had to take a stand, to make a change, no matter how small. If there ever was anything I wanted to teach you, it's that if you are ever in the position to help someone, you have a moral obligation to do so. You cannot let yourself be ruled by fear that stops you from doing what is right. Losing your sister was... it was the worst thing that's ever happened to me, but if I had the choice, I'd do it all over again._

_You must think me heartless._

Lisa gripped the wand tighter until her knuckles were white, but the tears kept spilling, and she frequently had to stop to wipe them, sniffling occasionally. Halfway through the fourth letter the curtains around her bed flew open, and she realized with horror that she hadn't placed a silencing charm on them.

"I'm-m f-fine, real-ly," Lisa sniveled, hiding her face behind the letter with embarrassment. Without a word, Alice sat down on the bed and wrapped her warm arms around her, soon joined by Lily and Marlene. Lisa broke down into more violent sobs, held tightly by the girls. "I n-never got to t-tell Mary I forg-give her. I d-don't want the s-same thing to hap-pen with my p-parents," she sobbed, as the three pairs of arms tightened around her.

"Mary knew," Lily whispered, starting to choke up herself. "She was so sorry for what she did to you... she was torn up about it for months. But I'm sure wherever she is now, she knows you forgive her."

* * *

oOo

The next day was a full moon. Lisa started writing a letter to her parents a hundred times that day, but her mind was just blank. What do you say to people you've resented for a year but now want to reconnect with? Remus looked awful during class, and she didn't want to bother him with her problems, so she decided to ask for his help on Saturday after he was done running through the woods or whatever it was he did at night.

Lily tried to help later on in the common room, but she was just not as familiar with the situation, and the last thing Lisa wanted to do right now was explain. She waved Remus goodbye with a small smile as he and the Marauders left for their nightly adventures and stayed by the fireplace for several more hours, just doodling with her quill, completely lost as to how she should even begin. If only Frank were here! He always helped her when she was stuck, whether it was in school or at home. She considered writing to him about it, but he was busy with his Auror training and tasks for the Order (Dumbledore really did tell her Frank was in), so Lisa's issues with her parents seemed too small to waste his time with.

Around midnight she finally gave up and went back to her dormitory to try to get some sleep. However, the thought something might go wrong during the fake kidnapping wouldn't get out of her head. After about an hour of restless tossing and turning, she felt increasingly more miserable until her thoughts gravitated towards Remus and how much she wanted to be able to snuggle up to him right now...

An idea formed in her head and she threw off the covers, sneaking out of the girls' dorm and climbing the already familiar steps to the seventh year boys' dormitory. As she expected, it was completely empty, but she tiptoed over to Remus' bed purely by habit and wiggled herself under the covers. She hugged the pillow and inhaled deeply, a huge smile spilling onto her face as the familiar warmth filled her to the fingertips.

' _Home_ ', she thought.


	10. The Tower Bridge

Remus walked into the dorm the morning after the full moon, feeling more exhausted than usual. Sirius and James got it into their heads they could outrun a unicorn, so they spent the whole night chasing white blurs. Still, he felt happy, and the thought of a good night's rest had never seemed so appealing. But as he drew open the curtains on his four-poster, there was a Lisa-shaped bump under the covers. He threw a quick look over his shoulder to the Marauders, but they were all already snoring. Smiling to himself, the werewolf slipped in and gently traced kisses down the jaw of the sleeping girl.

"Hi," he whispered as her eyelids fluttered open, and brushed a stray lock of hair from her eyes. A smile dawned on her face, and she looked at him so lovingly, as if he were the only thing that existed in the universe. Something warm spilled sinside of him, and he felt as if he downed a whole vial of Pepper-up potion.

"Hi," she said back and kissed his lips tenderly. "Did you have fun last night?"

"Yeah. Had a race with James and Sirius."

She chuckled softly. "Blew them right out of the water, didn't you?"

He smirked. "Naturally."

"Oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you," she mumbled sleepily, snuggling against him. "About the werewolves you saw two moons ago; they've been here since before we started school."

"W-What?" Remus asked in astonishment.

"I spoke to Hagrid, and he told me about it. Two transformed werewolves met under a full moon and had a whole litter. They're just very intelligent wolves; he insists they're harmless," Lisa explained before a big yawn. "Though Hagrid says that about Leithfolds too, so I'd take it with a grain of salt," she added with a grumble.

Remus pulled her into a tight embrace, and she sighed contently against his chest. Even with everything that happened with the Order in the last two months, he always had those wolves in the back of his mind. James and Sirius assured him that they hadn't let him out of their sight for even a second that night, but then again, they said the same thing about the time he almost killed Lisa. He felt as if a giant burden had been lifted from his shoulders. He hadn't even realized how much this had bothered him.

* * *

oOo

"You alright?" Dorcas asked her friend with concern as the Defenders were ascending the spiral staircase to Dumbledore's office so they could floo to the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix the following week.

Lisa had to construct her answer carefully so she wouldn't start babbling, as she always did when she was nervous. "I'm fine. Just a bit nervous about the letter I sent my parents," she replied slowly.

She needed to be convincing today. She had to appear calm and unassuming, then surprised when the time came. Then... she didn't know. How long would it take for the Order to find her? What if they couldn't? Lisa glanced down to her hand, where a silver ring glistened in the light. She received it by owl post on Monday, prompting Lily to ask jokingly if she had a second secret boyfriend. Lisa managed to convince her it was actually an early Christmas present from Frank, so no one questioned her too much about it.

As she and the others arrived in Moody's dimly lit den, her cousin's wide grin was the first thing she saw. Lisa stretched her face into the most convincing smile she could manage and barely heard the jovial conversation everyone was having, congratulating him for making his life doubly dangerous. Then Mad-Eye made the new and old members all sit and told them the mission, which was something about the Death Eaters acting on some threat they made and going off to blow up the Tower Bridge in London. Right. So, a battle on a bridge. Dumbledore had told her the best way to go about 'getting herself captured' would be to stick close to Benjy Fenwick. The Ravenclaw had a habit of overusing  _Expeliarmus_ , which would be both perfect for making her a helpless target, as well as a great way to save her wand from being lost or broken when the Death Eaters took her.

Moody was explaining some details of the plan, about Apparition and splitting in two teams on the opposite ends of the bridge and sending signals and some other jabber about muggle-repelling, but Lisa was so nervous she barely registered half of it.

"It'll be fine," Remus' voice whispered softly in her ear, and his fingers squeezed hers reassuringly. She swallowed the enormous lump in her throat long enough to give him a faint smile, but had to look away quickly before he saw she was getting teary-eyed.

"Right!" Moody rumbled. "Everyone remember their positions? Good. Now get outside and go to your posts!"

Lisa stood up and noticed her legs were trembling. Biting the inside of her cheek, she told herself to stop being such a wimp. Her father's words echoed thought her memory...  _You cannot let yourself be ruled by fear that stops you from doing what is right._  At this very second people were suffering, and she was their only hope. She had to do this.

Breathing in the cold December air, wanting to throw up because if something  _else_  following Apparition for once, Lisa looked up at the clear, starry sky. She paced back and forth along the walkway as the rest of her team eyed her with concern. Forcing herself to stop, she gripping the railing tightly and looked down at the water running far beneath. On a normal day she would probably be more excited to be here. Maybe take some pictures, talk with Remus about the architectural and historical significance of the bridge, but right now it took all of her willpower to not run into his arms and start shaking like a child.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" a soft voice said behind her, but she didn't even turn around as Remus joined her on the railing. Lisa murmured an agreement, her eyes soaring up to the city lights. "Listen, there's something I wanted to talk to you about."

She remained silent, too afraid her voice would crack if she opened her mouth.

"I... well, I'm seventeen now, and I'm in the Order and everything, so... after we graduate Hogwarts... I'm moving out of my parents'."

Lisa was quiet again, stubbornly staring at the brightly-lit windows of the London denizens. It felt like a sharp stab to the heart to know he wanted to move away, and the desire to break into sobs intensified.

"The Marauders and I... we're planning on getting apartments here. In London."

Well, that wouldn't be so bad. They could floo to each other easily, and she'd still see him in the Order and everythi—

Remus took a deep breath. "And I want you to move in with me."

Her head snapped in his direction, but he was looking straight ahead, his shoulders tense and his face hard.

"...What?"

"I understand if it's too much to ask," he shot quickly, risking a glance at her. "And I've been thinking about this for a while now. I understand if you don't want to share a place with someone like me, or if you think it's too dangerous, and your family will probably disapprove—"

He stopped talking as her warm hand lay gently on top of his. Remus finally turned to look at her, and Lisa thought this would be the moment where all of her pent up emotion would simply overflow, but before she could answer him, a loud, crazy cackle rang out through the air, and the nearest suspension cable was torn off by a powerful severing charm.

Lisa and Remus pulled out their wands and threw themselves into the already raging battle.

This time the Death Eaters weren't wearing hoods or masks, and Lisa managed to recognize a few of them. There was Bellatrix Black, Sirius' least favorite cousin (which was saying a lot), blasting curses and laughing. Some other former Slytherins also didn't care if someone saw them, apparently, as the Lestrange brothers were pressing Dorcas and Gideon pretty hard. Someone sent more severing charms to the suspension ropes, and the battle intensified by the minute. Lisa was keeping an eye out for a good opportunity to be defeated, but unlike the Order, who mainly used stunners and knockbacks and body binders, Voldemort's followers always seemed to shoot something deadly. If it wasn't an all-out killing curse, it was either another severing charm, or a reductor curse, or even blowing something up with Expulso. Lisa scanned the battlefield for Benjy and made her way towards him, just as he was aiming at a tall Death Eater with a familiar platinum-blond ponytail standing out against the black fabric. ' _Now or never'_ , she thought, and pretending to avoid a curse sent a bit to her left by Bellatrix, she threw herself right in Benjy's path, hoping he hadn't suddenly decided to fall back to something painful. To her incredible relief, it was his usual disarming charm, and Lisa's wand made quite the impressive arch, landing about two meters away. She looked around in panic, hoping a stray curse wouldn't kill her before the enemy realized she was defenseless.

She caught a glimpse of Benjy's horrified face right before a beam of red light hit her from the side, and she sensed herself falling. Then everything went black.

* * *

oOo

Dorcas watched in horror as the Death Eater wrapped his hand around Lisa and Disapparated. For a moment, the whole world went cold. Figures were moving around her, but everything was blurred and inconsequential. Someone roared Lisa's name, but it was too late. They took her.  _They took her!_ Something flared up inside the Slytherin, and all bars were off as she fired the absolute nastiest, darkest spells and curses she knew at every single hooded figure that crossed her line of vision. After a few more intense minutes she ran out of targets, as the Death Eaters started Disapparating one by one.

"Come back here, you cowards! Come back and fight!" Dorcas shouted, her wand hand trembling with rage. She wanted to run after them, to find them, shake them until they couldn't tell up from down anymore and  _make_  them tell her where they took Lisa.

But the bridge was empty, and the air was heavy and deafening. There was a loud THUMP! as James hit a support column with his fist and swore. Sirius was pale white and staring in front of him in pure shock, as was Benjy, who looked like he'd pass out at any moment.

"What... just happened?" Gideon asked hazily.

"They... took her," Lily replied, her voice almost breaking.

"This never... we've never lost anyone like this..." Edgar Bones tried to say, but the words caught in his throat.

Remus' head was bowed low, and his slow steps echoed in the silence. He reached the place where Lisa's wand had fallen after flying out of her hand, and his knees just gave out under him.

* * *

oOo

Lisa woke up in a dark dungeon with no windows. Both of her arms hurt as if she'd just done about 500 push-ups, and as she became more aware of her environment, she noticed they were suspended in the air by heavy metal chains. They were at least long enough to allow her to sit on the floor, which was a plus, all things considered. About a dozen people were lined up along the wall, same as her, but when she tried to speak, she found her tongue was stuck to the roof of her mouth. A Tongue-Tying Charm. ' _At least Dumbledore was right. They didn't kill me right away,'_  she thought bitterly. She tried to crane her neck to get a better look at the other prisoners, but almost yelped in pain because it was sore from the uncomfortable position they had left her in. ' _It wouldn't do any good anyway,_ ' the young witch reflected. It was too dark to make anything out clearly, not to mention that she wasn't that familiar with the higher-ups in the Ministry. All she could do was hang there and wait.

* * *

The worst part of it was arguably that there was no light. Lisa couldn't tell how long she had been in there at all. It felt like weeks, but she knew she couldn't survive without food that long. After a while, she lost all feeling in her arms and thought that it must be a sign she was in there for at least a couple of hours. Unfortunately, the burning that spread to her shoulders and back was a different story. It turned out being tied up was a form of torture all on its own. None of the other prisoners said anything, or even moved. They all seemed to have just... given up. At one point Lisa tried to stand up shakily, if only because her butt was starting to get sore and to try to alleviate  _some_  of her back pain, only to realize her knees could barely support her weight, and the kneecaps felt as soft as butter.

* * *

A Death Eater came by and gave them water, conjuring it from his wand straight into their mouths. It was unpleasant, to say the least, not to mention humiliating, but Lisa's throat was dry like a desert, so she couldn't even muster up the willpower to be proud. No one brought them any food.

* * *

Lisa twisted the silver ring around her finger with her thumb often. It kept her sane; it reminded her someone would come for her. She kept standing up and sitting down, so she could at least move when the break out happened, but it wasn't easy to keep up a positive attitude in a sea of bowed heads.

* * *

She was starting to lose hope a little. The man with the water came again, and she wasn't sure if they sent him every day, or twice a day, or if they just forgot some days. Having no way of telling the passage of time, it felt like  _at least_  a few weeks, but again, she knew that was impossible. Her body wouldn't last that long without food. Sensory deprivation was playing tricks on her brain, and she kept hearing sounds of battles, so sure they finally found her, only to be left with burning disappointment and fear when no one came bursting through the door. Was the ring not working? Did they find the place but decide it was too heavily guarded? What was happening out there?! How long was she being held captive? Dumbledore promised her, damn it, he promised! And Remus just asked her to...

* * *

Finally, after maybe a couple of months, someone came to feed them. He undid the tongue-tying spell so the prisoners could eat the hard loaf of bread he was giving each one from a big basket floating next to him, but still, no one made any noise. No one asked questions. No one even raised their head. When he came close enough, Lisa recognized the black, greasy curtains of hair, and something sparked inside her. With much,  _much_  difficulty, she managed to get up on her feet as Snape got to her position, smirking triumphantly.

"You," she said and shot a glare at him as soon as he broke the charm. "I knew you were going to end up here. And to think Lily ever tried to def—"

The slap echoed throughout the dungeon, and a new spot burned in pain on Lisa's face.

"Don't you dare say her name," Snape snarled quietly.

"It hurts, doesn't it?" Lisa spat the bit of blood that flooded her mouth. "Knowing I was right. What did you think would happen, Snape? That she would throw herself in your arms as you killed those like her? That Voldemort would be the best man at your wedding?"

Snape silenced her with a savage kick to the ribs, making her double over in pain, and then his long, cold fingers coiled around her neck as he slammed her painfully back against the wall.

"You can... beat me all you want," she wheezed. "But you... brought this on yourself. You pushed her away, not me."

Snape's face contorted into a mask of pure rage as he pointed his wand at her and muttered, " _Crucio!_ "

Her scream of agony shook the walls themselves, but none of the other prisoners so much as looked up.


	11. Lupin Lost It

Lisa kept drifting in and out of sleep. As an only escape from the dank prison, her imagination drifted to a blissful future where she and Remus share a cozy London apartment, just a few blocks away from Dorcas' street and the flat Sirius and James rent. She pictured a happy day out on the town with her friends.

In her imaginary scenario, James comes on to Lily too strong and she cuts him down with a sarcastic quip. Their group passes by an ice cream street vendor and James tries to buy back Lily's good graces. Remus joins him and returns with two cones of chocolate ice cream, smiling at Lisa in that kind way she loved... And then he trips, and the cold dessert hits the pavement. Everyone laughs. Remus looks at her again, but his face isn't happy anymore. It's worried and pale, and so sad...

"Don't look so down. It was only ice cream..." Lisa muttered, trying to smile. He moved the hair out of her eyes, and some cold feeling cut though her. He wasn't usually this distraught over sweets... Before she could ask if there was something wrong, Lisa fell face-first into a cold, damp wall. Pain quickly shot through her spine and shoulders as she returned to reality, hearing the distant sound of battle above her, like it often happened in her delusions. But this time, there was something different.

There were groans of pain all around her, movement as people were carried away, either on someone else's shoulder or on a magical stretcher. Someone picked her up from the floor, and her arms screamed out in agony.

"Can you walk?" Remus asked urgently.

She stared at him, too far down the well of despair to believe he was actually there. Was this real? Was it all in her head again? Would she wake up at any second, still chained up with Snape purposefully passing by, denying her the only food prisoners received?

The fight was still raging; someone called out his name, and he didn't wait for the answer. Wrapping a strong arm around her, he half-dragged her out of the dungeon, wand whipping left and right constantly. All she could see was his neck and shoulder, but despite her best efforts to move her legs, she tripped often and stumbled almost drunkenly on their way up a narrow, dark staircase. Sounds and sights, it was all a blur as Lisa tried to make out what was happening, still not completely convinced it wasn't a dream. He kept pulling her forward, but she felt too weak to even try to be helpful. Suddenly, he stopped moving, and she finally mustered up the strength to look up and focus her tired eyes.

They were standing in a richly decorated manor, but everything was in a complete state of disarray. Parts of a crystal chandelier were strewed on the wooden floor and remnants of furniture, books and pillow filling were scattered everywhere. Death Eaters and Order members alike had stopped their struggle to glance at the tall, white-faced man who had just walked casually into the room. The piercing red irises instantly sent chills down Lisa's spine, and a terrifying memory of frightened blue eyes flashed to the forefront of her mind.

Voldemort was here.

Raising his wand, the Dark Lord conjured a stream of fire that formed into two giant snakes who circled the room, making escape impossible. The two serpentine heads rose up to oversee the trapped wizards and witches. The room fell completely quiet, and the Death Eaters gathered behind Voldemort as whatever Order members hadn't managed to make it out in time retreated to the far wall.

"Well, well, well..." Voldemort started quietly, taking a few steps forward. "So this is the mighty Order of the Phoenix that has been trying to ruin my plans as of late. Two withered old men," he glanced at Elphias Dodge and Dedalus Diggle, "and a bunch of school children."

Only three of the seven members in the room had a body on their shoulders, so Lisa's tired brain at least registered that most of the Ministry officials had managed to escape. The rescue was a success.

"But I do not rejoice in the spilling of magical blood. If you lay down your wands now, I will allow you to live. Oh yes, I never turn away talented purebloods," Voldemort continued, and his red eyes slid over James and Sirius. "And I certainly do not look down on courage." His gaze shifted to Lisa. "You see, I am not a monster. Even those of...  _lesser blood_  would be spared... provided they utilized their skills in my favor." He lingered on Lily, who was struggling under the weight of a short, blond man.

"Bite me," the redhead growled.

The Death Eaters hissed threats behind him, but Voldemort only smirked menacingly. "I would not be so quick to decline, Miss Evans. I have heard many good things about your abilities, and what I am offering you is something no other mudblood has ever received. Status. Power. Protection."

"And all it would cost me is my soul? I think I'd rather die!" Lily spat angrily.

"What a pity... But, that can certainly be... arrang—"

In the middle of Voldemort's villain monologue, the roof suddenly collapsed and thumbed down on top of them. Lisa grabbed a hold of Remus' wand hand and, with every last bit of strength she had, cast  _Protego Maxima_. The debris disintegrated upon contact with the shield charm, leaving the members of the Order safe as the Death Eaters scattered for cover. Then, out of nowhere, Albus Dumbledore Apparated in the middle of the room, facing the wide-eyed Dark Lord.

"Hello again, Tom," the Headmaster said calmly. "I must admit, I never thought you would keep your political prisoners in such close proximity to muggle suburbia. But you have to make do with whichever mansion is best suited for the job, I suppose."

"Dumbledore!" Voldemort hissed. "I should have known you were behind this! You never tire of useless endeavors, do you, old man?"

"I'm afraid we have a very different understanding of 'useless', Tom. Mr. Lupin," the old wizard said over his shoulder, "I believe Miss Fawley has earned herself some rest. Please be so kind as to get her to a warm bed and look over her for lasting injuries."

"You're not in a position to give orders, Dumbledore! I am still here!" Voldemort screeched, sending a jet of light at him, which the Headmaster blocked with ease.

"I believe all of you should go. Some part of the roof could fall on your heads, and Madam Pomfrey would never let me hear the end of it," Dumbledore continued before turning his attention back to the Dark Lord.

Lily and Sirius wasted no time Disapparating with the people they were carrying, shortly followed by James, Remus and the two older members. The unpleasant effects of Side-Along-Apparition washed over Lisa and she wanted to throw up, but not having anything to eat for days only resulted in her empty stomach contracting painfully.

"I hate Apparition," she muttered, looking up at the starry sky.

It was as if she had never been taken, and the whole thing was just a long, horrible nightmare she had while Moody was explaining the Tower Bridge mission. Did it all really happen? Suddenly, she got her answer as Remus' arms enveloped her, and he caressed her face, kissing her lips, her nose, her cheeks, her forehead, any place he could reach. She was stunned for a moment by the sudden outburst of affection, not to mention he was never much of an exhibitionist. The romantic moments between them were always something private, done behind closed curtains and only for their eyes to see, but right now she was so happy to be back, that for this moment, only the two of them existed.

* * *

oOo

What Lisa really wanted was a long, warm bath, but Mad-Eye's bathroom only had a shower, and she didn't want to bathe there anyway. Her poor arms screamed out in agony as she washed away the grime and sweat from her face. How did Remus even want to kiss her in this state? All dirty, messy, and just looking  _horrible._  When she deemed herself clean enough, she returned to the den, where everyone was still waiting for Dumbledore. Remus was sitting in an armchair and immediately drew her into his lap. Lisa sighed and let herself relax against him. It felt like she hadn't been this comfortable in years.

"So... what have you guys been up to?" she said in an attempt to lighten the mood. It didn't work.

Remus' arms tightened around her, and he buried his face in the back of her shoulder. Dorcas threw her an angry glare, Benjy Fenwick's face was as white as chalk, and James and Sirius exchanged nervous looks.

"Never do that again," Frank said tersely. "I don't care what orders Dumbledore gave you; next time  _keep us in the loop_!"

"Now, now..." Edgar Bones tried to intervene.

"You think I wanted this?" Lisa snapped. "I knew all of you would take it badly, but what would you have said if I had told you?"

"We would have told you it was a stupid plan!" Frank yelled back.

"Well, then you have your answer! There were people that needed help, what else was I supposed to do?"

"Refuse!" Dorcas piped up. "Are you allergic to the word 'no'?"

"The whole Ministry was full of impostors! Does no one care about that?" Lisa fumed.

"There could have been some other way..." Frank fumbled, and Lisa gave out an exasperated sigh, sinking backwards into Remus.

"Do you think if there was even a slight possibility of another plan Dumbledore would have risked it, boy?" Moody snarled, marking an end to the discussion.

Everyone fell silent again.

"I'm sorry," Lisa said to Benjy. "I jumped into your line of fire deliberately... none if it was your fault."

" _Now_  you tell him," Sirius threw in, immediately getting a sharp elbow to the ribs from James.

"What do you mean?" Lisa asked, confused. No one answered her. She turned to the least hostile face. "Lily?" To her surprise, even the redhead looked at the ground. Remus' arms tightened slightly around her waist. "What on Earth happened while I was gone?"

"Lupin lost it," Moody finally huffed. "I had just Apparated to the site when he started wailing on Fenwick for disarming you. Gave him a right punch in the jaw."

_Remus did?!_  The least violent person on the planet? Lisa tried to turn her head to look at him, but his face was still hidden in her shoulder. He didn't protest, didn't rebuff the claim, only kept himself buried behind her.

"Is this for real?" she asked, befuddled, looking at every person in the room in turn. They all looked away. "Benjy, I'm... so sorry. This was entirely my fault; I promise I'll make it up to you somehow..."

"It's alright." Benjy smiled weakly. "It was more scary than painful, really. I just never expected... I mean, he's so calm all the time..." he trailed off.

"But it really was all my fault!" Lisa insisted. "I'll buy you that whole muggle show about the bloke that dresses up as bat for Christmas!"

Benjy only gave her a sheepish smile as a response, when Dumbledore walked in through the front door.

"You might be glad to learn," he started, "that all of the Ministry officials have been retrieved successfully. They are currently in a highly guarded ward of St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, and most are expected to make a full recovery. The Auror Department has been alerted to the usage of Mulciber Manor as a makeshift prison and have searched it thoroughly. Unfortunately, no Death Eaters were arrested, and Lord Voldemort and his followers have likely escaped to a different safe house. For now, I think we all need much deserved rest. Things will be discussed further in the next meeting."

* * *

oOo

When they flooed back to Hogwarts, Lisa peeled herself from Remus with some difficulty, insisting she needed a shower and a change of clothes. When she got out of the bathroom, all of her dorm mates were in their own beds, getting ready for sleep.

"Was it... really so bad?" Lisa asked quietly. Even Marlene and Alice, who were on the other squad, were afraid to look her in the eye. "Tell me. Please."

"It was just..." Lily started uncertainly. "It was so _unlike_  him. In all the time I've known him, I've never seem Remus go off on someone like that. Benjy said it best, he was  _scary_."

Lisa dried her hair, then put on her Montrose Magpies jersey and headed to the boys' dorm, as she promised she would. When she entered, Sirius clapped her on the shoulder, and Peter gave her a faint smile.

"Glad to have you back," James said from his bed.

"I was never really in danger," she tried to reassure them, but she knew that was only a half-truth.

Slipping between the drawn curtains, she found Remus sitting up in the bed, reading. As soon as she was within reach, he pulled her into an embrace, leaving the tome on the nightstand. He breathed in her scent deeply and sighed as her hands also coiled around his waist.

"I'm really sorry," Lisa muttered in his chest. "I know how bad it must've been for you..." He said nothing, but the beating of his heart picked up. "Maybe I really should have ignored Dumbledore's orders and told you..."

"I don't know if that would have made it any easier," he said evenly, but the thumping against his chest was almost deafening.

"I wanted to tell you, I really did! Please don't be cross with me," she whimpered, and the thumping wavered and slowed down.

"I'm not cross with you," he reassured her, kissing the top of her head.

She pushed herself up to meet his lips, and his fingers buried themselves in her hair, his thumb gently stroking the side of her neck when she suddenly gasped in pain. He pulled away, and she cursed herself for that betraying sound.

"Are you alright?" Remus asked with worry.

"I'm fine! Nothing's wrong, really!" Lisa insisted, but her hand unwittingly moved a few locks of hair to the front of her right shoulder.

He frowned, and she immediately realized her mistake. Very slowly, his hand rose up and moved the hair behind her back, revealing the purple finger-shaped bruises. "Who..." he started with a shaky voice.

"No one we know, just a random Death Eater! He was giving me water and—"

"Don't lie," he cut through her sharply. She shrank under his glare, but it wouldn't do any good to fuel his rage... "Who. Was. It," he repeated in a low voice, emphasizing every syllable.

"Snape," she admitted, barely above a whisper.

For a long moment none of them moved. Then, suddenly, he was on his feet, throwing back the curtains, and she reached for her wand.

" _Colloportus_ _!_ " Lisa yelled, pointing it at the door just as his hand was on the handle.

"What's going on?" a confused Sirius asked from his bed.

"I'll kill him," Remus said darkly, his back still turned to them.

"No, you won't!" Lisa said firmly.

"Will someone clue us in!?" James exclaimed, putting on his glasses and getting out of bed too.

Lisa's eyes darted to the Marauders. They could help her contain Remus, but neither Sirius nor James were known for their sweet tempers and warm feelings towards Snape. Still, they wouldn't let this go without an explanation.

"When I was... captured... I saw Snape," she said begrudgingly. "And I opened my mouth about Lily. And he didn't like it."

"What do you mean, 'didn't like it'?" Sirius asked, his brows knitting dangerously. Remus' hand on the door shook.

"Why does that matter?" Lisa exclaimed in annoyance. "What do you want to do, storm into the dorms and curse him?! You can't even get into the Slytherin common room!"

"Did he hurt you?" James asked, his voice cold as steel.

"It's just a stupid bruise!" she insisted hotly. "I've taken worse during Quidditch practice! Remember when that Quaffle exploded in my face?"

James and Sirius exchanged one of their glances and quickly got a hold of their wands. Peter was the only one that was quietly observing from his bed, too shocked to even move.

"Have you all gone mad?" Lisa yelled, running over to the door and covering it with her body. "No one is leaving this dorm!"

"Get out of the way," Sirius snarled, but she was looking straight up at Remus.

"I don't need you to 'beat him up' for me—"

"Oh, we'll do  _a lot_  more than that," James swore.

"Whatever! Point is, I don't want anyone prancing angrily down corridors to try to 'avenge' me. Snape and I already hate each other, so I wouldn't say my opinion about him has gotten any lower. I provoked him — he was in a position to retaliate. We'll all get plenty of revenge openings out there, but in Hogwarts, all you'll accomplish is tear the already strained relationships between the houses! Just think about this for  _one_  second!"

"That's funny, coming from you," Sirius threw in.

"If we start attacking each other in our own beds, many innocent students will get hurt in the crossfire! Let's say for the sake of argument you do manage to sneak up into his dorm, then what? You'll hex him; the rest of his gang will be there in moments, not to mention they already have half the house bullied into joining them! And it will all be the same tomorrow, except now  _they_  will retaliate, and it will start a vicious circle!"

"You expect us to do nothing?" James exclaimed indignantly.

Lisa gave him a look and asked softly, "What can you even do to Snape you haven't already?"

"I'll kill him," Remus repeated quietly.

She looked into his eyes and gave him a small smile. "No, you won't. Because I know exactly the kind of man you are. And this is not you."

They looked at each other for a long time, before his hand finally left the doorknob and he breathed out a heavy sigh.


	12. Sirius' Secret

"I hate you," Lisa grumbled, scrubbing one of the school's many ornate candelabra down in the dungeons.

"You didn't have to help me," Sirius scoffed.

They got busted by Filch that day for enchanting two suits of armor to chase Eddie Cornhill, after about the millionth quip he made about them being on the team because of their friendship with James.

"Well, he was gonna duck into that passageway behind the tapestry! I had to stop him," she said in her defense, causing him to erupt into his bark-like laughter.

Having the worst timing ever, Severus Snape walked down the corridor, returning from the Library, and his black eyes met Lisa's. A thin smirk appeared on his face as he flexed the fingers on his left hand, and for the tiniest moment, her face went pale. Unfortunately, none of this was lost to Sirius. His upper lip curled into a snarl, and in seconds he was holding Snape by the front of his robes, wand pressing against his throat.

"Sirius,  _no_!" Lisa pulled on his arm, but it was as steady as steel.

"What are you smirking about, Snivellus?" Sirius growled.

"Sirius, stop it!"

"Give me  _one_  good reason why I shouldn't turn him into a pile of dragon dung!" he snapped.

"Because you'd sink to his level! We are not like them," Lisa said insistently.

"Yes, Black, you wouldn't want to sink to  _my_  level," Snape sneered. "You'd rather parade yourself like some sort of hero, a paragon of goodness and champion of the downtrodden..."

"Shut up!" Sirius snarled.

"Or what? You'll  _kill_  me? Not satisfied by how the last try turned out?"

Sirius' face drained of color.

"Sirius? What the hell is he talking about?" Lisa asked with concern.

"Oh, you haven't told her, have you?" Snape continued. "You'd rather everyone worship you, think of you as a  _good person_ , while showing your real self only to enemies, but I know your  _true_  nature." Sirius let go of the robes and stumbled backwards. "At least  _I_  don't hide who I am."

And with that, Snape threw him one last triumphant smile, smoothed his clothes and continued down the corridor, leaving Sirius shaken up.

"What was that all about?" Lisa asked, confused, but he didn't reply. "Hey, come on. He was just trying to get to you, don't take it so seriously. True nature and all that, Snape doesn't know the  _first_  thing about you." Sirius was still quiet and the lack of jokes worried her. Did something happen between him and Snape? "Sirius?" she reached out to touch his shoulder, and he jumped, as if he'd forgotten she was there.

"Yeah, I don't know what he was on about. Anyway, you think we should try to charm Cornhill's broom on the next practice? Maybe make it do a circle around the Whomping Willow or something? That would be a laugh..."

He continued like that all evening, either being quiet for long periods of time, or immediately changing the subject whenever Lisa tried to get an explanation out of him. She asked James about it, but he only furrowed his brows and said Sirius had that coming. When she asked Remus, his face immediately hardened, but he only noted that it was Sirius' business, and he alone could determine what his 'true' self was. Peter simply dropped his books and squeaked something about having homework to write. By the last Quidditch practice before the holidays, Lisa decided she'd had enough, when one of his half-hearted swings almost managed to knock her off her broom.

"Sirius," she called after him, when he was leaving the locker rooms with James. "I want to talk to you about something."

The boys exchanged confused glances.

James smirked. "Merlin Fawley, first me, now Sirius? Are you intent on seducing  _every_  Marauder?" 

"Just for that, you won't get to hear," Lisa said jokingly and waved her wand, pushing him out the door, then slamming it shut.

"Listen," she turned to Sirius, "I don't know why Snape seems to have all of the Marauders' dirty laundry, but you've been unhinged ever since that detention..."

"What do you mean ' _all_  of our dirty laundry'?" he interrupted.

"Er... um, well, he..." She flustered suddenly, but there was no way out of it now. "He sort of... told me... about Remus."

He looked at her blankly for a couple of seconds, before replying, "No he didn't, you  _saw_  us when you were—"

"I did see, but I had no idea who the wolf—... wait, saw  _us_?"

"Yeah. Me and Moony and Wormtail and Prongs. We saved your life!"

And then it hit her like a ton of bricks.

"That was  _you_?"

He just stared at her. "I thought Moony told you."

"He said it wasn't his secret to tell... Moony... those nicknames... Merlin, you are  _Animagi_?" Lisa stumbled backwards and sat on the bench. How did she not see this before?

"I thought you'd figured it out by now," he said, joining her on the bench with an amused smirk.

"... So you run around with a werewolf  _without wands_?! Do you have any idea how—"

"What would you have us do, watch him mutilate himself every month?" he snapped.

A cold hand gripped Lisa's heart as she remembered what Remus told her. His scars were  _self-inflicted_.

"This could have backfired in so many ways..." she whispered, still in shock.

"Well, it didn't. He says his mind is a bit less wolfish when he's with us, and we keep him out of any trouble," he stated matter-of-factly.

"You lot are insane." She shook her head, but couldn't help but feel grateful for what they were doing for Remus. "He really is lucky to have friends like you."

"Yeah... lucky," he mumbled, his mood hitting rock bottom again.

Lisa's brows furrowed. "Is... is what Snape knows... does it have something to do with Remus?"

"... I don't really want to talk about it," he muttered.

Lisa just sat next to him in silence. "Look." She placed a hand on his shoulder. "I don't care what Snape knows about you, or what he's seen you do. You don't have to tell me what he knows, but you  _have_  to stop letting it get to you. Stop questioning yourself. You are  _not_  like your family and you're not like the Death Eaters, either. I've known you for seven years, and trust me when I tell you – you  _are_  a good person."

"You don't know everything about me!" Sirius interrupted angrily. "What if what he said about me was true? What if I did try to kill him? Would you still think that?"

"Yes, I would!" she shot back.

"Then you're a bigger idiot than I thought!"

"So what if I am!?"

"I almost made your boyfriend a killer!"

She started at him in shock, and he looked away in shame. They were both quiet, before he sighed and told her his secret.

"I told Snape how to get to Remus while he was transformed. He was snooping around us for months, wanted to know where Moony goes and what he does... so when I saw him in the corridors one day, he pissed me off and... and I told him."

"You told him... how to get to a grown werewolf?" she asked in disbelief. Never in a million years would she have thought he could be so careless, so  _thoughtless_...

"I thought it'd just give him a scare! That he'll run away like a little girl and then we'd laugh about it... James got wind of it and went after him... If it wasn't for him... Remus would have killed Snape."

Lisa felt dizzy.

"So you... you never even thought what could happen? That Snape might actually be dumb enough to act and get himself killed? That they would give Remus to the Dementors for something out of his control because of you? How he would feel, remembering he  _bit someone to death_!?" Her voice was rising with every word, and the anger flared inside her, white-hot. "You didn't consider for one second how it would psychologically destroy your best friend? The one that has to lock himself somewhere and claws at  _his own flesh_ , just so he wouldn't harm anyone?  _Are you kidding me!?_ "

"Snape was so eager to find out where he was going, and I said it more as a joke," he started defensively. "He followed us around, trailed Moony like a hound dog... I thought he'd tell everyone and ruin his life... I didn't fully realize what I'd done until I saw him make his way to the tunnel and I didn't think... I mean, afterwards I felt... I thought-"

_SLAP!_

Sirius stared wide-eyed at Lisa as she shot up to her feet, slowly lifting a hand to his burning cheek.

"Stop making this about YOU!  _You_  thought? Apparently, James was the only one who was thinking that night! If you realized anything at all, why was  _he_ the one saving Snape's life!? Do you even  _comprehend_  that Remus could have... that he could have..." Tears were choking her, but she was determined to say what she had in mind. "What would you have done, if Remus killed James?"

He stared at her in shock, as if no one had bothered to bring up this point to him before.

"Not only would you be responsible for the death of your best friend," she continued, "Remus' guilt over killing Snape would be  _nothing_ , compared to the memory of him  _ripping out James' throat!_  And he'd have to relive this  _every day_  in Azkaban! That thought never occurred to you?"

Sirius was silent and pale, looking like he was about to be sick. Hunching forward, he buried his face in his hands, and suddenly she remembered seeing him like this before. She wasn't as close to the Marauders in fifth year, but she still remembered. That day, when they came to the breakfast table, Remus looking exhausted and sad, Peter glancing uncomfortably between his friends, and James, looking livid. ' _Looks like trouble in paradise_ ', Marlene had said then. Lisa had glanced over at them, and she had seen the confident prankster who let nothing get to him  _trembling_. She had seen the always-grinning Sirius Black white faced and somber. She remembered him walking the hallways like a ghost for days, remembered him jumping as Remus put a reassuring hand on his shoulder after the first few days, remembered James slowly warming up to him again, first with a smile, then with a laugh. She remembered last year, when James had snapped at him in regards to Snape, saying something about not leaving him for the wolves and how she thought she saw something there in Sirius' eyes, some edge, some sadness.

"Snape is a slimy git, but even he doesn't deserve to get mauled by a werewolf," Lisa said tiredly, feeling more sad now than angry. "Never thought he'd be that much of an idiot to actually take your word for it and walk right into such an obvious trap..." She sighed. "That twat. You're both  _stunningly_  stupid. I hope James chewed your head off for this."

"He did," Sirius said, barely above a whisper. "He punched me out too, actually."

"Well, you deserved it." Lisa sighed again, feeling emotionally drained, and slid back onto the bench. She just wanted to find Remus and give him a big hug. "You're such a moron... and you reprimand  _me_  for not thinking things through?"

He was silent again, but his hands were still shaking slightly.

"Padfoot... what a weird nickname..." she mumbled, leaning over and resting her head on his shoulder. "I guess I never thought about the meaning behind what you lot called yourselves before..."

They just stayed like that for a little bit, while Lisa was processing it all.

"... Weren't you mad at me?" he asked quietly.

"I still am."

"... Women are crazy."

"Maybe it's just me."

"You and Moony really  _were_  made for each other," Sirius scoffed under his breath. "Disgustingly forgiving, the pair of you."

"Yes, do insult me, that really helps with the forgiveness process," Lisa mumbled, voice dripping with sarcasm. His body shook lightly to accompany a chuckle.

They continued sitting in silence for a little while longer, until he shot her a sideways glance.

"Still think I'm a good person?" he said.

"... Yeah. A very reckless,  _stupid_  person, but... yeah, a good one."

"I'm not sure the name Black can even  _be_  in the same sentence with good," he said bitterly.

"It's a good thing I called you Sirius, then." Lisa smiled faintly. "Or would you prefer Padfoot?"

He was quiet for a long minute. "Snape was right about me. I try to hide who I truly am, try to distance myself from my family, but I can't escape it. I'll always be a Black. Blood runs deeper than water."

Lisa rolled her eyes at that. "You know what runs deeper than blood? Loyalty. And friendship, and love. Having common DNA with someone doesn't make you family. Being there for them, taking their side, having their back,  _that's_  what makes you family. You are who  _you_  want to be, and not who your parents are."

"How can you even say that after what I've done? After everything you just yelled at me?"

"Because... you feel remorse," she answered slowly.

He turned to look at her. "That's all?"

"That's all. Did you know that the act of murder can tear your soul in two? And do you know the  _only_  thing that can repair it? Genuine remorse. And you do feel it. I can tell just by looking at you."

"I'm not so sure I would mourn Snape," Sirius grumbled.

"You should have seen yourself when he implied you wanted to kill him," she said quietly. "I remember how things were after that night. I didn't know what happened between you back then, but... I could see it was destroying you. That fact alone should tell you how deep that Black blood runs."

" _Black blood_." He smirked and shook his head.

"Look," Lisa sighed, "good and evil aren't that simple. They are just labels that we place on ourselves. Sometimes good people can do bad things, and vise versa. If Voldemort spared someone on a whim, would that make him good? If Remus did maul someone one day, would it make him bad? If I kill someone tomorrow in the line of fire, would it make  _me_  bad? We fight against Him, but we are hurting real people, people with families and loved ones. The next Death Eater that falls would still be someone's son, someone's friend, someone's father. Where do you draw the line of what is considered 'good'? It doesn't matter what kind of stupid mistakes you've made in the past. As long as you've learned something from them and they helped you grow a little... you're fine by me. But seriously, both you and Snape are  _astoundingly_  dumb."

He chuckled and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "You're insane, you know that? Supportive, but insane."

* * *

oOo

"Urg!" Lily groaned in frustration, storming in to the dormitory. "Do we  _have_  to be in the same compartment as that idiot Potter on the way back?"

"Did he try to hit on you again?" Marlene smirked, throwing some potion supplies into her open trunk. The Hogwarts Express was leaving from Hogsmeade station in a few hours, and of course, everyone had put off packing until the very last moment.

"I really  _hate_  him!" the redhead grumbled. "The only way I'd  _ever_  date him would be if Voldemort himself Imperiused me into it!"

"I thought you said he matured?" Alice called with a knowing grin. "And that he wasn't that same arrogant prat he was in fifth year?"

"He relapses!" Lily protested. "One minute he's responsible, the next he's throwing fireworks into the hearth! Someone could have gotten hurt!"

"Really? From  _fireworks_?" Lisa threw in skeptically, folding her socks in pairs. "Are you sure you're not just looking for excuses to yell at him?"

"Why would I  _ever_  want to interact with that git more that I have to?!"

"Because you fancy him," Lisa said simply.

Lily's face went as red as her hair. "I do not!"

"Yeah, you do," Marlene chimed in. "Remember how cheesed off you got when Dahlia called him a bigot?"

Lily faltered. "I... that was..."

"And when you two were giggling on the couch at that party after the Slytherin game?" Lisa added.

"I DO NOT FANCY JAMES POTTER!" the Head Girl exploded.

"No need to get so defensive about it." Lisa snickered. "He's certainly not shy about admitting it. You should hear him when he goes off about you sometimes... It makes me want to strangle him with his scarf."

"He... talks about me?" Lily said in surprise.

"Only 90% of the time." Lisa raised an eyebrow. "You didn't know? Sirius will complain about it to anyone who'd listen. James' favorite topics are you, Quidditch and pranks. Although pranks have taken a back seat lately to complaining about Head duties. Haven't I told you about that one Quidditch practice in sixth year, when instead of the Quidditch play chart he brought one on plans to win you over? I'm sure I mentioned it..."

"The bloke is madly in love with you, Lily," Alice added. "Everyone knows that."

"He doesn't really  _love_  me," the redhead objected. "He just wants what he can't have."

"Right," Lisa snorted. "Because he makes  _charts_  about everything he can't have. Come to think of it, there  _could_  be a Snape humiliation chart somewhere..."

"And that's another thing!" Lily exclaimed again. "Where did he come off, tormenting Sev? For years he wasn't doing anything bad, and Potter just did that to him after the O.W.L.s, because  _he existed_!"

"It wasn't really because of that!" Lisa snapped back. The mention of Snape instantly set a fire ablaze in her gut. "You know very well why he hates Snape! He embodies everything James detests, a desire to join the Death Eaters, a sick obsession with the Dark Arts, bullshit blood purism and torturing people for fun! And don't even start trying to convince me Snape was this innocent victim, who got bullied mercilessly! He knows more Dark curses than most in our year and he's not exactly a weak little loner!"

"Potter still had no business shadowing and pestering me!" Lily shrieked.

The girls all gave her pointed looks.

"Yes, Lily, excuse him for trying to protect you form a racist cult, after your 'friend' called you a derogatory slur!" Lisa rolled her eyes.

"I didn't need protecting!"

"That doesn't matter!" Lisa snapped. "If you love someone, you look out for them, if they're in danger you protect them, if they get hurt, you get angry! It's not on purpose, and it's not demeaning, it's an  _instinct_! That's just how love works!" Lily stared at her in stunned silence, but she didn't let up. "You constantly harp on James for the things he did to Snape, but never seemed quite that upset when Snape was tormenting Mary! Did you forget about that? And what's so goddamn  _annoying_  about the fact that he's worried about you? And wants to keep you safe, and happy, and he does everything he can to make sure of that? I don't  _get_  you Lily, it's like you just  _refuse_  to admit the good qualities he has! You  _do_  feel something for him, don't lie. So why are you refusing to give him a chance?"

Lily stared at the blonde for a full minute, before turning on her heel and leaving the dorm.

"Should we...?" Alice asked hesitantly.

"No, let it sink in a bit," Lisa said with a sigh. She hadn't meant to blow off like that. "She's just so used to hating him, she can't admit the reality of her feelings. She'll come around."


	13. The Dinner Fiasco

Remus took a deep breath, then exhaled slowly.

He stood in front of the solid wooden door, fist hovering in the air. For the first time in his life, he wished it were a full moon, so he wouldn't have to knock on it. He was being ridiculous, he told himself. It was only a dinner. With another breath to steady himself, he tapped his knuckles against the hard surface, almost hoping it was too faint to hear. No such luck. There were noises from inside, and a beaming Lisa swung the door open.

"What are you wearing?" were the first words out of her mouth.

"Why? Was the black shirt a bad choice? Should I go change? I have a white one at home, I could be back in ten minutes-" he babbled in panic, looking down at his shirt and tie.

"It's fine," she said, trying to suppress a chuckle and pulled him in. "It's just a bit... formal."

"I wanted to make a good impression."

"A good impression?" She raised an eyebrow. "Remus, they've met you before. You don't have to be so nervous."

"They didn't know we were dating before!" he objected.

Lisa had barely spoken to her parents over the summer, and when she reconciled things with them in the beginning of winter break, although they had suspected it, it still came as a surprise to learn why she had spent so much time over at the Lupins. As a result, Mr. Fawley insisted on inviting him over for dinner, to get 'properly acquainted'.

"I, erm... brought this," Remus said stiffly, handing her a bottle of wine. She took it in one hand, and gently squeezed his fingers with the other. He relaxed, if only a bit, and allowed her to lead him into the dining room.

"Remus!" Lisa's grandmother, Susan Fawley, exclaimed cordially and got up to show him a seat. "Come in, dear! You haven't been to see us in so long! How is your mother?"

"She is fine, thank you," Remus replied politely, sitting down with a mild smile.

"Oh, and you brought wine! How wonderful!" Susan Fawley continued, placing the bottle on the table.

"How are you, Remus?" Lisa's dad shook hands with him.

"Muggle wine, eh?" Hector Fawley, the grandfather, growled with distaste. "I suppose you couldn't afford a  _real_  one?"

Mr. Fawley shot his father a reprimanding look, while Lisa stared at her grandfather in disbelief. 

"No one in my family drinks, sir," Remus recovered quickly. "So I had to buy it from a limited selection."

"You don't have to drink it if you don't like it," Mr. Fawley said warningly and engaged Remus in a conversation about N.E.W.T.s.

In the meantime, the house elves brought the food and served a plate of well-roasted steak and mashed potatoes in front of Remus. He looked down and felt his throat tighten just at the smell. He didn't often eat meat, but when he did, he couldn't force himself to swallow anything more than medium-rare. Lisa saw the barely-noticeable frown on his face and squeezed his hand under the table.

"Grandma can overdo it with the food sometimes. You don't have to eat, if you're not hungry," she suggested gently.

"It looks great." He smiled and lifted some to his mouth without missing a beat. Mrs. Fawley entered the conversation as well, asking after Professor Vector, the Arithmancy teacher at Hogwarts, who was an old friend of hers. Most of her family seemed okay, but Lisa's grandfather was listening to the conversation with a measurable amount of contempt.

"I know what a handful studying can be in seventh year, combined with prefect duties," Mr. Fawley was saying.

"You were Head Boy in your seventh year," Hector Fawley scowled. "The duties of a  _prefect_  aren't nearly as important. I heard the Potter's boy got the badge for your generation," he added towards Lisa.

"Yes," Remus said pleasantly, "James Potter is a friend of mine. He is also the Gryffindor Quidditch Team Captain."

"Hm, an athlete too, eh? He sounds like a better catch," Hector Fawley replied, his eyes still fixed on his granddaughter. " _And_  he's a pureblood."

"Hector!" Susan Fawley exclaimed indignantly.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Lisa asked angrily, clutching her fork and glaring daggers into her grandfather.

"Our family has been pureblood for  _thirteen_  generations!" Hector exploded. "It's a tradition stretching back centuries! You cannot date a half-blood!"

The whole room was quiet. Lisa's parents exchanged awkward glances, and Remus looked down at his plate.

Lisa slowly rose to her feet. "Since when has blood status mattered so much?"

"Lisa," her grandfather breathed out an exasperated sigh, "it has  _always_  mattered. Both your father and your aunt Augusta married people from respectable pureblood families. I've always thought you and James got along nicely. You are the last of my line, I cannot in good conscience give you permission to date this boy."

"Give me permission? I happen to be seventeen!" Lisa shouted. "I am a legal adult and I can go out with whomever I see fit!"

"Not under  _my_  roof!" Hector Fawley bellowed. "The second you marry a half-blood, I will disinherit you!"

Lisa's nostrils flared, and she looked like she was about to scream her head off, when Remus placed a hand over hers and calmly stood up.

"I understand, sir. Thank you for the meal, Mrs. Fawley, it was delicious," he said politely, nodded to the Fawleys and walked out.

Lisa threw one last venomous look at her grandfather and ran after him.

"Remus, wait!" she called, putting on a coat and following him out the door. "I don't know what happened back there... he's never shown any blood-purist tendencies before," she continued, keeping up with his brisk pace.

"There was probably never an occasion for it," he replied stiffly.

She reached out and caught his sleeve, causing him to stop and turn to face her. "It doesn't matter what he says. You know that, don't you?"

He looked at her, eyes burning with emotion. "I don't want to come between you and your family."

"Grandpa lived in a different age, but he'll see reason. Dad will talk to him."

"It won't be just him." He grabbed onto her arms, trying to will her to understand. "He was this way because I'm a half-blood, can you imagine his reaction when he learns I'm a werewolf too? The rest of your family are civil enough now, but will they still be after they learn my secret?"

She looked deeply into his sad, green eyes, full of worry and concern, and lifted a hand to rest against his cheek.

"If you think I'm about to let anyone tell me what is right and what is wrong, even if they are my family, you don't know me at all. As long as you still want me I will stand by you, and my family is just going to have to get used to that."

"Continuing to see me will make your life so much harder..." he started, but she silenced him with a gentle kiss.

"Hush now. No more of that. Let's go for a walk."

She laced her fingers with his and pulled him down the single snow-covered road that passed through the small village of Low Row, where both of their families were hiding. They walked in pleasant silence for a while, but the disastrous dinner still bothered him.

"So... you run around with a rat, a stag and a dog at night?" Lisa started, trying to distract him from any depressing thoughts.

"Someone finally broke down and told you, huh?" He smiled crookedly.

"Not to mention they thought  _you_  already told me. It was so obvious too; I couldn't  _believe_  I never put two and two together! I mean the  _nicknames_..."

"I was completely against those, for the record," he said quickly.

"I would be too, if I were you. Moony, I mean how obvious is  _that_? I bet you anything James came up with it!"

"Believe me, it was better than the other options." Remus smiled faintly. "He still calls my condition a 'furry little problem' in public."

"That's what that is? Everyone always thought you just have a naughty pet rabbit or something!"

He finally brightened up a little and managed a soft chuckle. "Why a rabbit of all things?"

"I don't know... because they're furry?" She shrugged. "I don't even remember who started the rumor anymore... Wait a minute, so last year when James told me you were holding yourself back from being with me for 'a stupid reason', he really did mean your lycanthropy?"

"He said that to you? When?"

"And I was so sure he wouldn't just call being a werewolf ' _stupid_ '... that idiot..."

Remus frowned. "He always did take it too lightly."

"I know, right? This kind of thing shouldn't just be hand waved!"

There was a long pause.

"Aren't you hand waving it by being with me?"

"No," she said calmly. "I know exactly what I've gotten myself into. I've always had the feeling you think I don't fully comprehend it, but I do. I don't  _forget_  or  _ignore_  the fact that you are what you are. I accept you, all sides of you, and love you for the  _person_  you are. Scars and all."

He stared at her in stunned silence for a moment, so she only smiled and squeezed his hand reassuringly.

"So how are things with your dad? Is he still chasing those poltergeists all over Surrey?"

"Y-yeah," he stuttered, trying to compose himself. "They seem to have a liking towards schools, dad says they feed on the chaos."

"So why doesn't he come to Hogwarts to get rid of Peeves for us already?" Lisa suggested hopefully.

"What would be the point?" He smirked. "Chaos pretty much rules the school already, another one would just pop up."

"Right, and whose fault would that be?" She gave him a pointed look.

"Are you implying I manufacture poltergeists to amuse myself?"

"You might as well be! The Marauders are responsible for at least 85% of the Hogwarts chaos! Need I remind you of that day in fifth year when you lot enchanted the Great Hall  _and_  the Entrance Hall ceiling to rain down on us? Half the school was flooded by the time the teachers managed to fix it! Or the time you bewitched all the toilets in school to overflow cereal? Or that  _horrible_  morning when you fed laxatives to the owls? Mary almost ate some droppings that fell in her eggs and we had to hide under the tables! Some even got in my hair!"

He laughed again, relaxing visibly. "Ah, sorry about that last one. It was Sirius' idea. My favorite was in fourth year, when we turned the Great Hall into a beach. That one was mine."

"You git!" She smacked his shoulder. "We kept finding sand in our dorm for months after that! And were the monkeys that threw coconuts at us from the palm trees really necessary?"

He erupted in another fit of laughter, as she scooped up some snow from a nearby fence and hit him right in the face with it. Even in the dark, his startled expression was priceless.

* * *

oOo

"Hey, your mum said you wanted to see me?" Lisa called softly, entering Remus' room a few days later. "Weren't we going out today?"

He was sitting on his bed, looking extremely gaunt and pale. There were very pronounced shadows under his eyes, and he seemed downright drained but still smiled when she entered.

He stood up, handing her a square package, wrapped in red paper with reindeer on it. "I wanted to give you your Christmas present."

Lisa took it, a bit confused, but as soon as the wrapping paper was gone, gave out an excited shriek and threw her arms around his neck. "Jocunda Sykes' Biography! I've always wanted a copy!" she squealed with delight. Jocunda Sykes was a sort of role model for her, the first witch to ever to fly across the Atlantic Ocean on a broom. "You know me so well!" she added and kissed his cheek. "But Christmas isn't until tomorrow! Why are you giving this to me now?"

He looked at her with a sad smile and inclined his head toward the window.

"No way. On  _Christmas_?" she whined, but he didn't reply. Lisa embraced him again, knowing he didn't pick when the moon would be full, but still felt disappointed. "So I take it the walk is off?"

He laughed lightly and kissed her forehead, before sitting down on the bed with a groan. "Sorry. This close to the full moon I'm too exhausted to even walk down the stairs."

"Is there anything I can do?" she asked, throwing her coat on the desk chair and joining him. "I could send a message to the Marauders, or..."

"No, I don't want to ruin their Christmas too. It'll be fine," he tried to reassure her.

 _Ruin their Christmas_ _ **too**_. Lisa felt like crying. She stood up and went over to the window, opening it and using a silent summoning charm. In only a minute, the present she ordered for him three days ago flew into her hands.

"Well, since we're doing the whole gift-exchanging thing in person... Merry Christmas," she said. He unwrapped it and a small smile graced his lips. "It's a new wizard's chess set. So you can kick my butt at it even  _more_  often," she added.

They played a couple of games and spent most of the day cuddled up on his bed, listening to his jazz records. He was too tired for almost everything, but she didn't complain and did her best to amuse him, tell him stories, read with him, keep him close. Around 9 pm, there was a soft knock on the door.

"Dinner is ready, love," Hope Lupin called to her son.

"Mrs. Lupin?" Lisa said suddenly. "Would it... would it be a problem if I stayed for dinner?"

Hope stared at the girl in surprise for a second, then smiled warmly. "Of course not, dear. I'll set down a plate for you."

"You don't have to do this. It's Christmas Eve," Remus protested weakly.

"Was I being too imposing?" she asked apologetically. "I'm sorry; I just wanted to spend some time with you, seeing as the next few days..."

"Won't your family miss you?"

She was quiet for a minute. Her parents were surprised, to say the least, when she came back home for the holidays and rushed to hug both of them. She didn't tell them about the mission or the letters, none of them even knew she was in the Order of the Phoenix. It wasn't exactly the way it was before, but her parents were just happy she was actually talking with them and looking them in the eye again, and asked no questions. But there was still the strangely empty room she slept in, the hollow house where Lisa's last memories of her sister still burned fresh in her mind, not to mention the cold silence her grandfather was giving her after the whole dinner fiasco. Her father reassured her he'd get him to come around, but for now things were a bit tense. Lisa wanted to be with her family on Christmas Eve, but no matter how she looked at it, she'd rather be here, with the person she loved, who was about to endure a painful transformation and spend most of Christmas day alone, locked up in a dark basement, probably hurting himself.

"They will, but I'll miss you more."

* * *

oOo

Fifteen minutes later, she helped him downstairs, where the table was already waiting. Mr. Lupin greeted her warmly and returned to reading some reports from work he needed to go over, but Lisa's attention was soon caught by the Lupin's Christmas tree. It was the exact opposite of the monstrosity the Fawleys had in their drawing room every December. Mr. Robert Fawley was usually a very down-to-earth man, but around the holidays he couldn't help but go overboard. Not only did he train  _all_  of the house elves to sing Christmas carols during the weeks before, but he also went out of his way to find the biggest, greenest, most extravagant tree money could buy. And money was never a problem for the House of Fawley. To top it all off, Mrs. Fawley, for once being matched in enthusiasm by her husband, would cover the bloody thing with so many garlands and floating candles and all manner of enchanted decorations, you could barely tell it  _was_  a tree anymore.

The Lupins' tree on the other hand was a different story. It was thin and lean, but not nearly long enough to reach the ceiling. The decorations didn't move, and there wasn't a single bewitched Santa sleigh in sight. Lisa stepped closer and realized the spots of white she had thought to be enchanted everlasting snow, were actually palm-sized snowflakes, cut out of plain white paper. The garlands wrapped around the tree weren't sparkling with magic, but seemed to be pieces of popcorn, strewn on a string. Lisa stared at them, completely baffled. Putting food on a thread and decorating with it? Was this some strange muggle tradition? Then her attention was caught by the reindeer and squirrels hanging here and there, made out of pinecones. She reached out to touch them, but they didn't move. Her eyes traveled up with amazement and she couldn't help but smile, seeing a green paper cut-out of a Christmas tree, decorated sloppily with glued shirt buttons of different colors and sizes. A warm hand rested on her waist and she half turned to beam at Remus, who had decided to see what she found so interesting.

"Yours, I presume?" she asked, pointing to the paper tree.

"Yes... made it when I was five. This one as well," he added, lightly touching one of the pinecone reindeer, whose left antler was glued askew. "My mother likes home made decorations. We add a new one each year."

Mr. Lupin smiled over his papers as his wife entered from the kitchen, carrying a bowl of cranberry sauce. She exchanged a look with her husband and smiled warmly at the back of the two teens, almost melting with happiness. Both parents had feared for a long time Remus wouldn't be able to have a normal life because of his condition. When he was a child, Hope had often told him he should try to make friends with the locals, but Remus would only smile and tell her it's okay, that he didn't mind being alone. But it made her so happy to see her son's face light up whenever he got an owl from one of his friends, and reveled in the way the Fawley's girl looked at him with such admiration.

"You're showing Lisa the ornaments?" Hope asked, putting the dish on the table. "This one is my favorite." She stepped closer and gestured to a red ball hanging from a branch, with a small white hand print on it. "Remus wasn't even a year old... oh, he was such an adorable baby! Showed very early signs of magic, by his third birthday you couldn't walk around the house without stepping on a toy that was walking around by itself!"

"Mum..." Remus muttered under his breath, turning slightly pink.

"He also drew on the walls in our first house," Mr. Lupin called from the table. "Remember, Hope? Some neighbor saw the drawing move and called the police."

Lisa laughed, as Remus' face became even redder and everyone sat down at the table.

"Oh, I miss that old house sometimes." Hope Lupin sighed. "It was right at the edge of Cardiff, where I used to work."

"What did you work as?" Lisa asked politely, trying to keep herself from saying she had no idea what jobs muggles had.

"Oh, nothing terribly interesting. Just a desk job in an insurance company."

Lisa shot a confused look at Remus.

"It's a muggle company that provides compensation resulting from loss, damages or injury in exchange for premium payments. The company calculates the risk of occurrence, then determines the cost to replace the loss."

"Oh." Lisa looked awkwardly at her plate, but the Lupins didn't seem to mind her ignorance.

"What do your parents do for a living now, Lisa?" Lyall Lupin asked, cutting a big piece of turkey for himself. "You father used to write for the  _Prophet_ , but I haven't seen anything of his lately."

"Well, because he's hunted by the Death Eaters, he's been ghostwriting. He just sends his pieces to the editor, and they get published under another name, so he's technically still working for them," Lisa replied. "And mum has never had a job."

"Really? Never?" Hope asked in surprise.

"Well, money was never in shortage..." Lisa said in embarrassment and looked down at her plate.

"But what does she do all day?" Hope asked and Lisa's face immediately fell.

"She used to take care of me and my sister. Nowadays... I'm not sure how she occupies her time," she said, fixing her eyes on the plate in front of her. The Lupins exchanged awkward glances, and she felt Remus' hand on the small of her back.

"That's not a bad thing," Lyall said in an attempt to lighten the dark mood. "If a woman chooses so, she could be a housewife. Merlin knows raising magical kids is never easy. On top of regular education, you need to teach them how to use their magic responsibly and how not to reveal themselves to muggles."

"We've never had trouble with Remus in that respect," Hope chimed in.

Lisa snorted loudly into her mashed potatoes. Mr. and Mrs. Lupin gave her questioning looks, and she felt herself going red in the face.

"Sorry," she mumbled. "It's just that after some of the things he's pulled, I wouldn't exactly say he uses magic responsibly, especially when he's around those prats he calls friends. If he was my mother's son, he'd be getting a Howler every other week."

"I've never gotten a Howler, actually," Remus threw in beside her.

"Wait, you've  _never_  gotten a Howler?" Lisa exclaimed in surprise. He only gave her a small smirk in response. "Never? I mean, I haven't had one either, but  _I_  didn't set a teacher's robes on fire last week."

At those words Hope dropped her fork, while Lyall's eyes widened in astonishment.

"Remus John!" Hope shouted indignantly, "I am surprised at you! You set a teacher's clothes  _on fire_? Have we taught you nothing of respect and humility? That is  _it_ ; you are not getting any dessert tonight, mister, and forget about bringing books to bed while you're still here!" she added, pulling away the Chocolate Christmas Pudding waiting to be eaten to the other side of the table as Lisa laughed at the involuntary frown that crossed his face. Then Hope stormed upstairs to remove any books left in Remus' room, while Lyall fixed him with a stern glance.

"I hope you realize, Remus, that someone could get hurt when you do things like that," he said evenly. "Even a teacher can panic, if he suddenly finds himself burning. I agree with your mother, and I'll add that you will wash all the dishes after dinner for the rest of your stay by hand and-"

There was a sudden crash from upstairs and they all looked up.

"I better go check on your mother," Lyall said and got up, leaving Lisa and Remus alone.

"... I'm sorry," Lisa said. "I thought they'd be used to your shenanigans by now."

He sighed. "It's alright. James or Sirius usually gets blamed for the more serious ones, if we ever get caught at all, and my mother prefers to howl in person. But I do deserve this. It really didn't occur to me that Professor Spangle might not know how to perform a Freezing Charm, and in the interest of truth, I was aiming for the piece of parchment he took from us. Some of what we wrote in there wasn't for external eyes."

"You performed the charm for him. No harm done."

He gave her a slight smile and glanced at the pudding longingly. Lisa felt really bad for depriving him of it.

"Your middle name is John?" she asked in an attempt to distract him.

"For my grandfather. Have I never mentioned that?" he asked, eyes moving back to her. "Come to think of it, I've never asked yours. What is it?"

"It's Dawn." She smiled. "After my mother."

"Lisa Dawn?" he said, chuckling slightly. "So our names rhyme."

"So they do," she replied, lacing their fingers under the table. It was something so simple and inconsequential, yet it made her feel happy somehow.

* * *

oOo

During the Fawley breakfast on Boxing Day, Lisa couldn't help glancing out the window every so often and thinking about Remus. True, as a wolf he probably didn't have a concept of Christmas and didn't even know what he was missing, but... she really wished she were with him, even if it was to just to stay guard on the other side of the basement door. Her first thought upon waking up was to run over and surprise him, but judging by how bad he looked the day  _before_  the transformation, she thought she should give him some time to recover. Suddenly, some movement attracted her attention, and as she looked down at the snow-covered street of Low Row, she saw six hooded figures appearing out of thin air.

"Dad!" she called urgently.

Mr. Fawley approached and looked down, face going pale instantly. "Dawn, they're here! They've found us! We have to go,  _now_!"

Mrs. Fawley's face stretched into a mask of pure terror, but she didn't waste any time in summoning the ready suitcases that waited in the closet for just such an occasion.

"Lisa!" her mother called, reaching out a hand for her, but the young Gryffindor's eyes were glued to the glass.

"They're not here for us," she said slowly. "They're heading... they're heading west!"  _They're after Remus_ , she realized with horror.

"We can't take any chances, sweetheart. We're going to Aunt Augusta for now," Mr. Fawley said firmly and grabbed a hold of her elbow, but she jerked away.

"I have to warn them! I'll meet you there!" she yelled and before her family could stop her, spun around on her heel and Disapparated.

Lisa materialized in the middle of the den of the Lupin home, causing Lyall and Hope to jump from their seats. Realizing she only had a few minutes at most, she ran upstairs, ignoring their confused shouts. Bursting into Remus' room, she was momentarily stunned to find him shirtless, with big bandages wrapped around his torso and right arm. Scars of various sizes covered his exposed flesh making her stomach lurch involuntarily, though most of them were faded, except the ghastly one on his shoulder that still looked fresh, and for a fraction of a second she realized this must the the original bite, when Mr. and Mrs. Lupin followed her into the room and she was brought back to her senses.

"Get up!" Lisa said hastily, ignoring Remus' stupefied face and mumbled questions, and tried to pull him out of bed. He groaned painfully as his weight fell on his injured leg, and she put his arm around her shoulder for support. "There's no time for questions!" she said to Mr. Lupin. "You have to take her and go! Go to a hotel, a friend, anywhere but here!"

"I'm not going anywhere without my son! What's going on?" Hope demanded firmly, but Lisa's eyes were locked with her husband's.

"They're coming for him, and she has no way of defending herself! Go, I'll take care of Remus!"

Lyall was looking at her for a long couple of seconds. He knew the girl had a point, and Remus was in no condition to fight. He couldn't protect both of them. Suddenly they heard the door downstairs fly off the hinges.

"They're here! Go!" Lisa shouted and he nodded grimly, taking his wife's hand in his.

"You'll find us in our first," he whispered cryptically and they Disapparated.

Lisa's hold on Remus tightened and she prepared to do the same, when a giant mess of hair and cloth lunged at them, knocking them on the bed. There was a bang, a flash of light, and the intruder was flung to the other end of the room. Lisa stood up, holding her wand out, but the six men that entered didn't do the same. They all had messy, mangled hair, dirty robes and menacing grins.

"So that's what become of you..." the shabbiest looking of whole lot stepped forward, and Lisa recognized him. Blond, waist-length dreadlocks framed his long, savage face, and his yellow eyes glinted with danger. He was the one that attacked Remus at the muggle fair. "We have been trying to find you for a very long time, Remus..."

He tried to approach, but Lisa took a step in front of him.

"That's close enough," she hissed. Remus' fingers clutched the back of her jumper tightly, trying to hold her from doing something stupid.

"It's time to come with us, Remus... where you belong," the vicious-looking man continued, but his eyes darted to the wand quickly.

"Who are you?" Remus croaked.

"That is of no consequence." He smirked, showing his long, sharp canine teeth. "What is important, is that I am here on behalf of your... creator. He regrets not being here personally, but he had some... business to attend to. You were quite young, of course, when he turned you... one of the youngest that lived..."

Lisa couldn't see Remus' face, but she didn't need to, to know what it was showing.

"Your parents haven't told you, have they?" the man continued with mock-concern. "About the reason you are what you are? About  _who_  made you a werewolf?"

Remus' hold on her shirt tightened, but it wasn't for her sake anymore.

Seeing he was gaining headway, the man proceeded to slowly pace back and forth, like an animal waiting for an opportunity to strike. "Your father offended a certain werewolf, you see. Dear old dad never told you what he said about our kind? That we're 'soulless beasts that deserve nothing but death'?  _That_  is what your parents really think of you. And it's what the rest of the world thinks of you, too. If you embrace what you are, you could be  _great_  among us. Be a leader of your own pack... What do you imagine will become of you after Hogwarts? Trying to blend in with the wizards will be hard and unrewarding, and you know it... The only place you'll ever be accepted... is with us. With your own kind."

Lisa didn't know if the man was making this up or if it was the truth, but he was hitting a bullseye. Those were the ever-present fears in Remus' head, that no one would ever really accept him for what he was, that they were all secretly afraid of him, that he would never truly belong. And it was the  _first day_ , the time of the month when his issues always got the best of him.  _'They were counting on it!'_  she thought furiously. They were hoping to exploit the one time when his psyche would be at its weakest!

"He's not going anywhere! With any of you!" She moved her wand to each of them in turn, hoping to distract them from the fact her other hand was inching slowly to clutch at his.

The man's eyes finally traveled to her and he sized her up. "And who might you be?"

"I'm the witch that will turn all of you into cockroaches if you so much as touch him!" she growled.

"Lisa," Remus whispered behind her warningly, as the group of men started snickering.

"You hear that, boys? This little bird means business!" The leader laughed. "You think she actually cares about you?" he added towards Remus. "That she'll ever see you as anything more than a beast? How long before she runs away, or before you rip her pretty little throat out? Interspecies romances never work out, kid. Of course, I wouldn't be  _completely_  against turning her for you..."

Lisa could practically feel Remus pale behind her. She had to get him away from this before they took advantage of him in this state, but if even one of them caught hold while they were Disapparating, they could splinch...

"You know you want this," the man continued to press. "Under Voldemort, we could be what we are! We could run freely and do what we want, instead of cowering in basements! Just think! No more enduring your own jaws, biting yourself in a pathetic attempt to protect those that would kill you without a second thought! No more trying to blend in with them, no more hiding, no more being afraid! You can have it all, if you only come with us!" he reached out his arm, with long, yellow nails so sharp, they resembled claws.

Remus wasn't moving, wasn't speaking, but his hold on her jumper loosened slightly, and a cold wave of fear traveled down Lisa's back. She risked a silent  _Levicorpus!_  at the werewolf, clutched Remus' fingers tightly and spun.

They materialized on the dirty London street, and she barely kept him on his feet. The cold winter air was chilling her to the bone, but his shirtless and injured body was practically shivering. She dragged him quickly to the tall apartment building and up the stairs; he lost consciousness when they reached the fourth floor. She knocked on the door urgently, almost crumbling under his weight, and as it swung open she only managed to mutter,

"Help me."


	14. Scars

"You're lucky he didn't splinch," Dorcas said, bringing her friend a blanket to cover Remus' unconscious form, which was currently lying in her bed.

"I didn't exactly have time to think about it," Lisa hissed quietly, carefully covering his body.

Dorcas was staring at him. "...Why is he injured?"

"We... got attacked..."

"And you had time to bandage him?" Dorcas snapped. The other girl didn't reply. "How stupid do you think I am? And since when did we start lying to each other?"

Lisa looked at her angry friend apologetically. "I'm sorry. It's not my secret to tell."

"Why does he have scars all over his body? Why do they look like claw marks and bites?"

"Cass,  _please_! Please, just don't ask questions, I can't give you answers," Lisa begged, tears forming in her eyes.

Dorcas was quiet for a while. "I'd heard the rumors floating around the common room, but I never thought... I mean, how could Dumbledore even allow...? I thought Snape was just full of it, like always..."

Lisa squeezed Remus' hand, stubbornly avoiding her best friend's gaze. Silence fell over them again.

"... I'll be in the next room, if you need anything," Dorcas said gently, placed a hand on her shoulder, then left them alone.

* * *

oOo

Remus slowly regained consciousness, and his eyelids fluttered open with a pained moan. He tried to stand up, but Lisa pushed him down.

"Rest. The stress of Apparition can't be good for your body so soon after a transformation."

He averted his eyes, burning with shame. To think he had almost... and with  _her_  right there! What was he thinking!? That he could live with himself if he chose a life like that? But the grimy werewolf's words really did hit too close to home. Sometimes he wondered who he was trying to fool, attempting to blend in with normal people. But the worst thing, the  _worst thing_  was that for one horrible moment he  _did_  want it, and she sensed it, he could tell.

A strong wave of self-loathing washed over him, when suddenly he felt her warm hand cover his.

"It's alright. I won't let them take you."

Remus wanted to say so many things. That he was thankful for her warning, that he didn't want to involve her in this, that he was sorry for his weakness, but the words seemed to get stuck in his throat.

"Where are we?" he finally croaked.

"My place," Dorcas called from the door, entering and closing it shut. "Here," she added, throwing a plastic bag on the bed. "Lisa sent me to buy you chocolates. Guess I don't need to ask who wears the pants in  _this_  relationship."

"Cass, be nice. We just narrowly missed getting mauled by werewolves," Lisa said as her friend took a seat next to her.

"Like we don't do that on a weekly basis." Dorcas rolled her eyes. "I spoke with my folks by the way, you're welcome to stay for as much as you want. I know it's not the Longbottom estate, but-"

"That reminds me, I should send an owl to my parents," Lisa said. "On the off chance they recognized me, the Death Eaters might go knocking..." She trailed off, and her worried gaze swept over Remus' bandaged body.

Dorcas sighed. "I'll take care of it. Give you some time to have a proper snog while I'm away. Don't get carried away, though, I sleep in there!"

Lisa rolled her eyes,. Dorcas got up and, with a last wink towards the couple, left to write some letters.

"Cass' dad left a shirt for you," Lisa said softly, gesturing towards the foot of the bed.

Remus nodded shortly and tried to sit up again, the blanket he was covered with sliding down to his lap. He saw her eyes glide over his torso and fill up with tears, and looked away in shame, unwittingly clutching the hem of the covers. He had made a conscious effort to never let her see him like this, never allowing her to even lift his shirt too much, and of course, even that only happened in a darkly lit room.

"You don't have to say anything," he muttered quietly. "I'm aware how I must look to you. I kept trying to tell you you should find someone more... human to be with. Someone whole."

Suddenly, he found himself shutting up, as her arms embraced him gently.

"I had no idea..." she whispered, unable to keep the tears from sliding down her face. "I thought I knew, but Merlin... you are so much  _braver_  than I thought. Struggling with this for all that time, every single month... it must have been so hard for you, yet you never made a peep... just so you wouldn't harm anyone else. You are the most incredible wizard... the most incredible  _person_  I've ever met. You are a hero."

"I'm a hero for mutilating myself?" he said bitterly, but his own eyes were starting to sting. "I don't even do it consciously."

"That's what makes you so incredible. Every single scar you have is living proof that you'd rather sacrifice yourself than let an innocent suffer. That is what heroes do," she explained, letting go and backing away a little, wiping the corners of her eyes. "When I see you like this, it hurts because I know you're in pain, but... at the same time, I can't help feeling so  _proud_  of you." She smiled through the tears.

He stared at her, completely stunned. When he saw his scars, all he felt was disgust. They were a cruel reminder of his affliction, literally etched into his skin, unavoidable, inescapable. And as much as she insisted she accepted him, deep down he always thought this would be a turning point – when his lycanthropy stared her right in the face, and not just once a month, but constantly, the way it did with him.

"I'm being so silly, getting emotional over things like that... I'd better go find a tissue or something." Lisa laughed weakly and sniffled, standing up. "Get dressed."

* * *

oOo

When he carefully limped out of Dorcas' room, Remus looked around wearily and spotted Lisa and Dorcas through the open door across the corridor, having a grim discussion over a plate of biscuits and tea. When he entered, he saw a middle-aged couple he presumed to be Mr. and Mrs. Meadowes sitting on the couch, not too far from the girls, and greeted them politely.

"I still don't think it's a good idea," Dorcas continued, after acknowledging his presence. "It's too dangerous, let's just send an owl..."

"The owl would be more dangerous," Lisa argued. "It will raise suspicion, it might get intercepted or give out their position. And I have to make contact, otherwise..."

"But how will you? The place is in Wales, more than 150 miles away! That's not close enough to Apparate."

"I'll catch the Knight Bus."

"Are you  _insane_? What if there are Death Eaters in it?" Dorcas exclaimed, but Lisa only gave her a skeptical look.

"What would Death Eaters be doing on the bus? Most of them are rich, stuck up blood-purists, why would they ever take a dinky ride like that?"

"I could drive you," Mr. Meadowes threw in, earning a look from the women. "What? I have a full tank of gas."

"Where are you going?" Remus asked, taking a chair next to Lisa.

"To your parents. Someone has to tell them we made it out okay," she replied.

"It's already getting dark, love. I think you should wait until morning," Mrs. Meadowes suggested.

"The more we wait, the more worried they'll be," Lisa insisted. "It will be really quick, no more than half an hour."

"Then let me at least come with you!" Dorcas insisted. "What if they sent Death Eaters to other places too? I'm guessing this 'first' house would be his childhood home, and someone would think of checking there. The place could be crawling with them." 

"I don't want to involve you in this. If someone gets wind of who you are, or even if they had an inkling of who I am and saw you with me, they'll pop up here next."

"Dorcas has a point," Remus chimed in tiredly. "If they found our house in Low Row, chances are the next place they'd check would be all previous residences. My parents tended to leave a paper trail."

"Whose side are you on?" Lisa snapped at him. "Do you want your parents to be told you're alright or not?"

"What I want is to keep you away from any more danger," he said firmly and stood up, heading to the door. Suddenly, it slammed in his face.

"And where do you think you're going?" Lisa asked, wand in hand. "You can barely walk. I'll take care of your parents, while you stay here and stuff your face with chocolate. Am I clear?"

He turned around and their eyes locked. She had that certain look again, the one that stood for no objections.

"I can't make you responsible for-" he started, but Lisa unceremoniously hit him with a tongue-tying charm.

"Take care of him for me?" she said to Dorcas, who was trying to stifle a laugh, but nodded. "If you try to Apparate in this condition, you'll splinch for sure," Lisa added towards him, got up and broke the charm with a wave of her wand. "I'll be really quick. At the first sign of trouble, I'll Apparate back."

"Wait," he called after her as she walked into the hallway and put on a coat on loan from Dorcas.

"This is not a discussion, you can't fight like-"

But he didn't argue, instead took her wand and tapped her head. A cold feeling spilled over her body, and when she looked down, she found it was becoming transparent.

"It's not as good as your cloak, but..." he started.

Lisa cut him off by cupping his cheek and gently kissing the other. "I'll be back soon," she whispered and went out the door.

* * *

oOo

"It's been over an hour." Dorcas tapped her foot nervously as she sat on the desk chair in her room. "I'm going after her."

"That would be pointless," Remus called from the bed, bringing a piece of chocolate to his mouth. "If they have her, they wouldn't still be keeping her in my parents' old house."

"She should've been back by now. 'No more than half an hour', that's what she said."

"Whatever it is that's keeping her, she'll tell us about it when she comes back. Have a little patience."

"How can you be so calm about this?" Dorcas snapped.

"... I'm not."

She turned to stare at him, and for the first time since Lisa left, she  _really_  saw him. His movements appeared casual on the surface, but were very slow and deliberate. He was perfectly composed, but there was a certain stiffness in his shoulders you wouldn't usually notice. He was bringing the chocolate up to his lips, but his eyes seemed to be focused on something else entirely, like he couldn't even see it. Under his unassuming, mild-mannered appearance, Remus Lupin was a wreck.

"... You don't often show your true feelings, do you?" Dorcas asked.

"What do you mean? Of course I do."

"Not your more...  _intense_  feelings, I mean."

"I show what needs to be shown."

"Right. Can't go acting on every impulse, like after you pulled Lisa out of the Mulciber mansion," she quipped and saw with satisfaction his face turn pink.

He smiled. "I don't think it would make you or the Marauders very happy if that's what we were like all the time."

"Good point. Although you are a very chaste couple. Not even a kiss on the lips in public? Come on! The most I've ever seen was a peck, and even that's rare."

"I don't see why our relationship should be on display for everyone."

"It's not just the relationship though, is it?" Dorcas asked perceptively, finally making him focus his eyes on her. "When you blew up on Fenwick... even your best mates were surprised to see it, and they live with you. Don't you ever get angry?"

He took a while to answer.

"I not proud of what happened with Benjy. In retrospect, I should have had more control over myself but the circumstances were... dire. And yes, I do get angry, like anyone else, but I prefer not to lash out on people for no good reason."

"So you  _never_  yell at anyone?" Dorcas was starting to get amused now. "You're best friends with two absolute prats! Are you telling me they never did anything to push your patience?"

A shadow fell over his eyes for only a moment before he answered her. "They have done... things I don't approve of. But they put up with me. I should think I owe them the same."

"There is  _no way_  you cause Black and Potter as much trouble as they cause you! It's just not humanly possible!" she exclaimed, and he gave her a crooked smile.

Just as he was about to say something in defense of his friends, the front door swung open and Lisa walked in, followed by two floating trunks.

"You're late! What happened?" Dorcas asked urgently, leaping to her feet.

"Everything's fine," Lisa reassured them, taking off her coat. "I had to swing by the Lupins' cottage and by my grandparents' real quick." She came into the room and handed Remus his wand. "You sort of forgot this when we Disapparated. Picked you up some clothes and books, too. Saw your parents, they're fine, no one has found them yet. We agreed it would be safest if none of you returned to the cottage anytime soon, and your dad said something about selling it..."

Remus looked down at the wand in his hands. His parents had finally started to make a life for themselves in Low Row, and now they had to move again, like they did when he was young...

"What about you?" Dorcas asked, eyeing Lisa with concern.

"I... don't know," the blonde admitted. She had only just started to reconnect with her family, and now they probably had to find another safe house, as her going off to warn the Lupins most likely tipped off the Death Eaters that her family was nearby. "I suppose we'll have to stay here until we return to Hogwarts and then..." her eyes shifted to Remus uncertainly. He had asked her to live with him right before the fake kidnapping, but she never really got to give him an answer and they hadn't talked about it since. Was the offer still standing?

"You mean... you want to?" he asked hoarsely.

"Erm... i-if you still want to..." Lisa's face was turning red, and she started babbling. "I know it's a bit sooner than what you had in mind, but with both of our families having to keep their distance from Low Row and having to find new places for themselves, neither of us really has a stable home to return to and we are of age and everything, though to rent a muggle property we have to be eighteen, but we both turn that much before Graduation and I have plenty of gold to get us started, my parents already made a trust fund for me when I turned seventeen and-"

"We'll be hunted," he interrupted her darkly. "They might come looking for me again."

"They might come looking for me too." She smiled faintly. "We could be hunted... together."

Dorcas' eyes darted from one to the other. She wanted to speak up, to say that living with a werewolf wasn't wise, that it would be complicated and hard and maybe more than they could handle... But then a smile lit up Remus' whole face and Lisa beamed back at him, rushing over to the bed to hug him.

So Dorcas held her tongue and said nothing. Lisa stuck by her, even as she dated a Death Eater, and judging by her reaction earlier, she'd known about Lupin's lycanthropy for a while now, but still chose to be with him. Lisa was impulsive, but she wasn't stupid and probably was more aware of the risks involved than Dorcas was. Besides, if a werewolf made her best friend  _this_  happy, who was she to argue?


	15. Potter Cooties

Lisa, Remus and Dorcas were having breakfast on the 31st of December at the Meadowes' home, when an owl tapped on the window of the fourth story apartment. When Dorcas went over to open it, the bird flew across the room and perched itself on Remus' shoulder at the precise moment a second one whooshed in after it and landed on the table, knocking down the carton of milk in front of Lisa.

"Looks like you two are popular," Dorcas quipped as the Gryffindors exchanged surprised looks.

Remus untied the letter from his owl and the girls leaned behind him to read it.

_Moony,_

_Party at the Potters' tonight! We have the_ _whole_ _manor to ourselves! Grab Fawley and meet us there at 8, we need help setting up._

_-Padfoot and Prongs_

"A party?" Lisa said when Remus looked back at her. Was he up to it, after half of his body was still wrapped in bandages?

"I say you go," Dorcas threw in. "It'd help you two get your mind off Death Eaters and werewolves for a while."

"You can come too," Remus said. "They wouldn't mind."

"They wouldn't  _notice_ , you mean," Dorcas corrected him with a smirk. "I'm willing to bet most of Gryffindor will be there. But I don't think I could stomach Black trying to disembowel me with a glare all night."

Lisa chuckled and got a hold of the second letter.

_Dear Lisa,_

_I need to talk to you. I might be going a bit mad. Please come to see me. It's kind of urgent._

_-Lily_

"What's she on about?" Dorcas asked, peeking over her friend's shoulder.

"No idea." Lisa shrugged. "I hope it's nothing serious..."

She knew it was unlikely, but Lily did live in a muggle neighborhood...

"I'm sure it's nothing life-threatening," Remus called beside her, and his warm fingers curled over hers under the table. Lisa smiled at him and nodded. She had no idea how he did it, but he could always tell when something was bothering her, and through some magic, knew exactly what to say to make her feel better. "I guess that means we'll go separately, then?"

Dorcas made a strange sound between a snort and a gag. "I swear, being around the two of you is almost  _nauseating_. I have no idea how your housemates stand it."

"What are we doing now?" Lisa demanded irritably. Why did people keep saying that?!

"It's the way you're looking at each other. Don't tell me being separated for a bloody  _afternoon_  is too long!"

Lisa rolled her eyes, but didn't even dignify that with a response.

"You'll get used to it." Remus smirked. "Even Sirius did, eventually."

* * *

oOo

At around 6 pm, Lisa staggered out of the fireplace and tried to beat the soot out of her muggle clothes. She prided herself on her ability to pick an 'inconspicuous' muggle outfit this time, unlike her mother, who would sometimes warrant the police's attention, walking down the street in an orange jumpsuit she saw on some muggle magazine. It helped that she was friends with Lily and Mary, who laughed at her when she showed up in penny loafers, frilly white socks, a tutu and a yellow poncho for going to the muggle zoo with them one summer, and spent pretty much the entire day pointing out the 'do's and 'don't's of fashion. Not that Lisa had any interest or even an idea of why people cared about fashion.

The green flames hadn't even died out behind her, when an ear-splitting scream made her wince and look around in alarm. She quickly spotted the origin of the noise, a thin, long-necked, blonde young woman in a gaudy light-pink dress spattered with purple flowers, whose face was contorted in horror. Without thinking, Lisa's wand made an arc in the air and the woman's yell got caught in her throat. The Gryffindor had about a second and a half to realize what she'd done, when the long red hair of Lily Evans glinted in the sunlight as she ran into the room.

Lily's eyes darted between them in astonishment. "Did you do this?" she asked in horror, her own wand suddenly in her hand.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to. She startled me!" Lisa said in her defense as the charm was broken and the blonde started choking, hands grasping at her own throat.

"Lisa, this is my sister, Petunia," Lily said. "Tuney, this-"

"I don't want to hear it!" Petunia shrieked, a rather exaggerated reaction in Lisa's opinion. It was only a silencing charm. "Mum and Dad left  _me_  in charge, and I say you can't just invite your weirdo friends whenever you like without asking for permission!"

Anger twitched inside Lisa. Over the years she'd heard plenty about Lily's older sister, but despite her friend's efforts to convince her that Petunia really wasn't so bad, Lisa had developed a somewhat strong dislike for this girl she'd never met that called her own sister an abomination.

"I'm of age, Tuney," Lily said firmly, but there was a note of apology in her voice.

"You are  _seventeen_!" Petunia screamed again. " _Normal_  people become of age at eighteen!"

"Hey now," Lisa interrupted, her eyebrows rising in surprise. "Lily is a perfectly normal witch, and in our world..."

"Lily is a  _freak_!" Petunia spat.

The anger twitched again, and before she knew it, Lisa's wand was pointed at Petunia. Blonde hair rose in the air, split into tresses and transformed into snakes as the muggle girl gave out another ear-splitting scream and ran out of the room.

"Tuney!" Lily called after her, but rushed footsteps echoed in the hall and up a flight of stairs, before a door slammed against its frame. Lily turned to glare at her friend, who shrugged apologetically.

"What? They don't even have teeth."

The redhead kept glaring for a few moments more. Then she sighed deeply and closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose. "She won't even let me near enough to turn her back to normal anytime soon..."

"I could let you borrow my Invisibility cloak?" Lisa offered cheekily, and Lily chuckled despite herself.

"Those gits are rubbing off on you, you know. The Marauders," she said when Lisa dusted the last bit of the ash from her clothes.

"Yeah, well, they're sort of a package deal. You can't be around one without at least getting friendly with the others."

Lily chuckled again and shook her head, gesturing for Lisa to follow her up the stairs. The Evans home was really pleasant and tidy, and Lisa was surprised muggles can keep a house so clean without magic. The two girls walked down the corridor and entered the second door to the right, which turned out to be Lily's room. It was a nice, brightly lit room with a few muggle posters on the wall depicting celebrities Lisa didn't recognize, and a big two-door wardrobe in the corner, which was left open and half its contents was heaped onto the desk chair and the bottom half of the bed.

"So... you wanted to talk to me about something?" Lisa asked casually, moving a few clothes to the side and sitting on Lily's bed.

The other girl started pacing back and forth anxiously. "Yes. It's about... it's about Potter."

"Okay. What about him?"

"I think I might... I mean it's possible that I... did you get an invite to his New Year's party?"

"Yes. Just this morning."

"Should I go?"

"Is that why it looks like your dresser threw up in here?" Lisa asked with an amused look around the room.

"I haven't decided if I'm even going yet," Lily replied nervously, still pacing.

"I don't see why not." Lisa shrugged. "Are you afraid of Potter cooties?"

"This is serious! I think I might be...  _falling_  for him." Lily stopped and shot Lisa a desperate look, as if she was just announcing she had cancer.

"Right. And this is... bad?"

"YES, it's bad! I don't  _want_  to have feelings for someone like him!" Lily exclaimed and renewed her pacing.

"He's not so bad," Lisa said, trying not to laugh.

"Yes, he is! He's arrogant and self-important; he thinks the world revolves around him-"

"True."

"He hexes people just because he can, or just for a cheap laugh-"

"Also true."

"He's reckless and irresponsible; he makes a joke out of everything-"

"Can't argue with that," Lisa said.

Lily threw her an angry look. "Aren't you supposed to rebuff this stuff?!"

"I can't." Lisa smirked. "Everything you said was right on the money. James is a bit of an idiot. What did you expect me to tell you?"

"I don't know!" Lily sighed in frustration. "You always take his side!"

"I just told you not to ignore his positive traits." Lisa shrugged. "You should know him well enough by now to see what they are without me compiling a list."

"That's easy for you to say! You've been friends with him since you were three years old!"

"I've known he  _exists_  since we were three years old," Lisa corrected her. "We were forced into a few obligatory birthday parties, because my grandfather and his father are old friends. Truth be told, I think they were hoping we'd fall for each other." She laughed lightly. " _We_  got to be friends in fourth year, when I joined the Quidditch team, and even then, we weren't exactly best mates. If you wanted to talk to someone close to him, why didn't you write to Remus?"

"Because... because he... well, he's a  _boy_!" Lily blushed.

"I can vouch for that," Lisa said with a laugh. "But he does give great advice."

"You give good advice too, and you know James. Tell me, am I making a mistake in considering him as something more?"

Lisa studied her friend carefully for a moment, finally growing serious. "Lily, I can't tell you how to feel. I'm sure  _he_ 'll be happy to spend a couple of hours explaining why exactly he  _is_  perfect, but he doesn't  _need to be_. There are no perfect people, and there are no perfect relationships."

"Please," Lily huffed dismissively. "Anyone who's so much as laid eyes on you and Remus knows you're a perfect couple!"

"Perfect? You think we don't have any problems? What you see on the surface is not all there is to it. We have fights, just like any other couple, and you don't even want to know how many have ended up in tears, or worse. What matters is the feeling. If you care about someone enough, you can work through anything.  _Do you_  have feelings for James?"

"I think so... I don't know..." Lily wrung her hands anxiously. "I've just... I've hated him for such a long time; I'm not even sure how to act around him without getting angry about something!"

Lisa erupted in laughter as Lily's face was steadily getting redder.

"Okay, how about this: try to approach him without preconceptions," Lisa suggested. "Just pretend you're meeting him for the first time at that party."

"I can't just ignore all the prickish things he's done in the past!" Lily exclaimed angrily. "He was just a prejudiced prat when we first met!"

"James?!"

"Yes! He started tormenting Sev before he even knew him, because he was in Slytherin!"

"Lily," Lisa started, "Of all the things James is, prejudiced is the  _last_  one that would apply. Just look at who his best friends are. A disowned pureblood, a sickly, reclusive bookworm and... well,  _Peter_."

"But Sev-"

"Will you stop with the Snape thing already?" Lisa snapped. "I've hung him by the ankles too; you don't harp on me for it!"

"You at least had a reason!"

"For the millionth time, he doesn't hate Snape because of his house, but because of his fascination with the Dark Arts! Have you seen James be mean to any Slytherin in the Defenders? He isn't a saint, but he's not a complete monster either. You just have to take him as he is."

Lily was quiet for a while, then sighed and sat next to Lisa on the bed.

"I don't know what to do," she said quietly. "I'm just... confused."

"And that's alright." Lisa placed a hand on her shoulder. "You have plenty of time to figure things out. For now... just give him a shot. That's all he needs, really. He's very charming, you know." Lily chuckled and gave her friend a hug, while she threw a look at the mountain of clothes. "Come on, I'll help you get ready."

* * *

oOo

"You're shaking," Lisa noted when she and Lily came out of the fireplace in the Potter Mansion.

"Is it that noticeable?" Lily asked, her voice tinged with panic.

"Just relax." Lisa patted her on the back. "You look great."

"Yes, but I don't want to look like I tried to look great! What if he sees it and calls me out on it?"

"Snog him and he'll forget all about it." Lisa shrugged with a laugh, but Lily pouted like a child.

"Not helping."

"Evans!" A voice cut through their conversation, and James was next to them in a split second. "You made it!"

Lily rolled her eyes. "It's just stepping into a fire, Potter. It's not like I could get lost."

"Well, I'll go look for Remus. Keep her out of trouble." Lisa winked at James and shot a stop-biting-his-head-off look at Lily, then waded into the crowd.

Dorcas was right, most of Gryffindor was there, and a lot of people from the other houses too. She spent a bit of time catching up with Benjy Fenwick and Emma Vance, who seemed to be getting a bit too cozy with each other, then was almost drowned in the play-by-play of Felicity Rickett's Christmas break, and then had to endure Marlene and her gossip about what wizarding celebrity was shagging with whom. After about an hour and a half, Lisa managed to get away and spotted Sirius in his favorite Deep Purple t-shirt, leaning against the wall with a sour expression.

"Hey," she said, joining him. "Why the long face?"

Sirius just scowled at her and inclined his head towards a nearby column, where James and Lily were talking. Lisa smiled to herself, pleasantly surprised that they seemed to be getting along great.

"Looks like it's going well," she noted and turned to Sirius again, but he was still wearing that miserable expression. "What's got your wand in a twist?"

"Evans," he growled.

"What about her?"

"She... she's... well, she's flirting with Prongs!"

"I wouldn't call 'not hexing him for once' flirting, but okay. What of it?"

"What of it? She'll sink her harpy claws into him and ruin everything!" he exclaimed.

Lisa stared at him in surprise. "I thought you'd be happy for him."

"I thought so too, when he didn't have a shot in hell with her. She's going to break us up!"

"Break up you and James?" Lisa laughed. "I didn't know you made it official."

"You know what I mean," he barked. "He  _already_  blew me off, and all she had to do was bat her eyelashes at him! She's going to weasel her way into the Marauders and destroy us from the inside!"

"You didn't get this upset when I 'weaseled my way in'," Lisa said, a bit offended.

"You were different!"

"Why? Because I'm dating Remus and you're not attached to  _him_  by the hip?" she asked flatly.

"No! Moony's just... a separate case."

"Because dating him is not enough to break up the Marauders?"

"Stop twisting my words! Remus just... he  _deserves_  to be happy."

"And James doesn't?!"

"It's just different!" Sirius shouted, and Lisa couldn't help but laugh.

"I think you're just jealous, Padfoot. Give her a chance."

"I don't have to give her a chance!" he growled. "She's not like you. She's a perfect Miss Follow-The-Rules know-it-all and she's going to ruin Prongs!"

"Remus is a know-it-all," she pointed out.

"Yes, but he knows when stop. And he's not half as uptight as her about the rules!"

"Lily can be a rule breaker too!"

"Yeah, right," Sirius snorted. "Like how, she goes to bed ten minutes after curfew?"

"You don't even know her."

"I know enough!"

"Enough to be a complete prat about it! Just spend five minutes with her!"

Sirius mumbled something about hell and freezing over. Lisa finally caught a glimpse of Remus, who was fixing a tapestry someone had been sick on. He wiped his brow with an exasperated sigh and turned around. Lisa waved at him, and when he saw her, his whole face lit up.

"Hey, you finally made it," he said, coming over and wrapping one arm around her waist, a bottle of Butterbeer in the other. "What did Lily want?"

"Just some help with picking out her outfit," Lisa lied smoothly. If she admitted the truth in front of Sirius, he might lose it.

"They seem to be getting friendly," Remus noted, throwing a look at James and Lily.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "He just needs to get her out of his system. After a proper snog, he'll get tired of her."

"After four years of obsessive daydreaming about the texture of her hair?" Remus cocked an eyebrow skeptically. "Doubt it."

"That's because he hasn't had a taste of any of the other birds around here! For Merlin's sake, even  _you_ 've snogged more girls than Prongs!"

Remus choked on his drink.

Lisa turned to look at him, eyebrows raised. "Do tell. How many are we talking about here?"

"Erm... I, er... well..." His eyes darted around the room uncomfortably.

Sirius let out his loud bark of a laugh. "Sorry mate, didn't mean to get you in trouble."

Suddenly there was a noise of something breaking, and Remus' head snapped in that direction. "A-hem, I better look to that... excuse me," he said quickly and disappeared into the crowd of people.

"Was it that many?" Lisa turned to Sirius, who laughed again.

"You want me to devoid Moony of the pleasure of retelling those stories himself? Not a chance."

"Oh, so you're turning against me, are you?" Lisa teased. "Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal! I'll make you pay for this!"

"This ought to be good." He smirked.

Lisa swept the room for an appropriate revenge. "It will be," she muttered, her gaze stopping on Lily and James.

"Wait, what're you-" Sirius tried to say, but she swiftly slipped between the curtain of people and quickly located the source of the music.

Lisa flipped through the records and smiled mischievously, coming upon a particularly sappy single that would serve her purpose just fine. She stopped the obnoxiously loud Foreigner album and for a second everyone stopped talking, startled at the abrupt silence. Then Lisa placed the single under the needle and it spun.

_Earth Angel, Earth Angel, will you be mine..._

Sirius' expression showed pure horror, as James offered his hand to Lily and she took it with a smile. Lisa chuckled to herself and quickly located the corner where Remus had tried to escape her, making her way over and tapping him on the shoulder. He smiled at her sheepishly and let her lead him to the dance floor, where many couples were already swaying with the music.

"So, Mr. Lupin... apparently you're quite the experienced womanizer," she started teasingly, coiling her arms around his neck.

"That Sirius..." Remus muttered under his breath. "He made it sound as if I've been walking around snogging random girls in broom cupboards."

"Haven't you?" she asked jokingly, and was surprised to see his face turn a bright pink. "You have?!"

"One time!" he exclaimed. "... Do you really want to hear about it?"

"Do I?" Lisa said, full of enthusiasm.

Remus gave out an exasperated sigh. "Fine. It was in fifth year. The Marauders decided that... how did they put it... that I was turning into a 'humorless brick that was going to die a virgin'. So one day they decided that I needed... erm,  _a push_  in the right direction. There was this Ravenclaw prefect the year above us, Lila Fenton, who the rumor mill was passing around had a crush on me, and they caught me staring at her from time to time. One evening when I had prefect rounds with her, they... tricked us into getting inside a broom cupboard to break up a snog, only there was no one in there. And when the door closed..." He swallowed with difficulty, while Lisa was shaking with laughter. "It was the most awkward eight hours of my life."

"They left you in there all night?" Lisa gasped.

He nodded solemnly. "I think they were hoping the virgin issue would be gone by morning."

"Was it!?"

"No!" he exclaimed indignantly. "Of course not! I wouldn't do such a thing with a complete stranger inside a sodding broom cupboard!"

"Oh, but snogging a complete stranger inside a sodding broom cupboard, that's alright, is it?"

"Well, I... it wasn't exactly my fault," he fumbled. "We got to talking and she admitted she had feelings for me, and when I told her I don't feel the same way she started crying and asking if she wasn't pretty enough and..." he trailed off.

"So your first kiss was out of pity?"

"I didn't say that was my first kiss."

"There are  _more_  girls? Why haven't I heard about these things before!? I sleep in the same room as  _Marlene_!"

"Probably because those girls didn't tell anyone. Would you go around telling stories of your rejections?"

"Wow. I'm dating a heartbreaker." Remus groaned, but she continued to laugh at his expense. "Well, I'm listening. First kiss, who was it?"

"Susan Abbot." He sighed tiredly. "Near the end of fourth year. And then again in fifth."

"You had an off-again, on-again relationship? How in the name of Merlin's right sock did I miss any of this!?"

"You're making it sound like a bigger deal than it was. I never dated any of these girls."

"So you just snogged them and left them?" Lisa raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "Adrian was right about you, you  _are_  a bad boy."

"Please don't use that term." He winced slightly as she laughed again. "Susan was the first girl I ever had a crush on, and we kissed once in the Library. After that she told me very politely she didn't like me like that in a note ."

"In a  _note_?" Lisa repeated in disbelief. She was starting to feel bad for him.

"During History of Magic." He nodded. "Then after I made prefect her interest seemed to peak again, and James, Sirius and Peter made sure we lingered after Ancient Runes one time and were alone in the classroom, so she could... erm... make a move. But by that time, my affections had run cold. After that, I told the Marauders that if they pull something like that again, I'll never help them with any more of their harebrained schemes ever again."

"Little did they know you were pining after a certain  _redheaded_  prefect," Lisa said with a sly smirk.

He stared at her in shock. "W-what-"

"Oh, don't play coy with me, Remus Lupin. My vision was always a perfect 20/20. You fancied Lily in fifth year, didn't you."

His face immediately showed panic, and his head snapped around involuntarily to glance at the dancing redhead. "How did you...?"

"It was a bit obvious." Lisa shrugged. "Just the way you brightened up when you had patrols with her and how you smiled at her sometimes..."

Remus looked at her wearily. "You know that I no longer-"

"Yes, I know." She smiled. "Don't worry; the only thing I'm jealous about is that when you liked Lily you never gave  _her_  the cold shoulder."

"It was... different with Lily," he replied shortly.

"Why does everyone keep saying that today?" Lisa grumbled. "What exactly makes her so damn special?"

"It wasn't her," Remus explained. "It was  _James_. I didn't feel the need to avoid Lily, because I knew there was no chance of anything happening between us, ever. Whatever it was I felt, James was more important. I would never betray him like that. You on the other hand... there was nothing keeping me safe from  _you_."

Lisa snorted. "Right. I had to basically  _drag you_  into this relationship, kicking and screaming. If any of those girls  _had_  managed to get you to commit, I would've hunted them down and given them a bloody medal."

Remus chuckled softly, then gave her a lopsided smile, leaned forward and whispered in her ear, "In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you _._ "

Lisa couldn't help but laugh at how corny that quote was. He pulled back slightly and kissed her as the band in the background was hitting the last few notes. Lisa's heart instantly began beating on double speed and spreading warmth throughout her entire body; her head became fuzzy and for a moment, and she forgot where they were entirely. She couldn't believe that after so much time he could still make her feel like this just with a simple kiss. Not that she was complaining, of course.

When they broke apart, she smiled at him and, having an idea, waved her wand and levitated one of the mistletoe springs hanging over every doorway above the crowd of heads, until it stopped and hovered right over Lily and James. Lily's eyebrow rose quizzically and James started panicking.

"That wasn't me, I swear! Look, my wand is right here, in my pocket, I haven't touched it in half an hour!"

Lily's eyes swept the room, and she caught Lisa' gaze. The blonde winked at her and inclined her head. Lily shook hers slightly at her friend, looked back that the stuttering James and silenced him with her lips. Lisa could hear Sirius groaning audibly from somewhere nearby.


	16. Enemies

Mrs. Meadowes was unexpectedly called in from her job at the Ministry, and Dorcas, Remus and Lisa decided it'd be safer for her muggle father to let them go to Platform 9 ¾ by themselves. After all, there were probably going to be Death Eaters sending off their kids there, and no one liked the idea of Mr. Meadowes walking back alone after being seen in their company.

"That's new," Lisa said with a smirk, looking at the intertwined fingers of James Potter and Lily Evans, who were making their way to their little group through the busy Platform.

"Hey Moony! Had a nice holiday?" James was grinning ear to ear as Remus and Lisa exchanged glances.

"Not as nice as you, apparently," Remus replied, still a bit in shock, but a smile was starting to tug at his lips.

"Worst. New Year. Ever." Sirius popped up behind them, looking a bit grumpy.

"Come on Padfoot, we weren't that bad," James tried to say, but the grin wouldn't leave his face and it looked more like he was mocking him.

"I take back everything I said," Sirius said seriously, turning to Remus and Lisa. "You weren't a disgusting couple. You weren't even bad. Prongs and Evans are a  _nightmare_."

The group laughed, and Lisa threw a glance at her red headed friend, glowing like she'd never seen her before. James was also predictably love struck, looking like he'd just won the lottery.

"Well, about time, I'd say," Dorcas called with a smirk. "The whole school knew it was gonna happen sooner or later."

"And what are you doing with us, Meadowes? Isn't your boyfriend looking for you?" Sirius said bitingly.

"Won't be my boyfriend for much longer. As soon as we get back, I'm dumping him," Dorcas said casually. Sirius stared at her as if she'd just smacked him with her shoe.

"What changed your mind?" asked Lily.

"He's not worth the trouble." Dorcas shrugged indifferently. "I really do like him, but I don't want my last couple of months in Hogwarts to be interrupted by random 'let's decide Dorcas' loyalty for her' duels."

Sirius and James exchanged guilty glances.

"Erm... find a compartment, then?" Lisa suggested, and the six of them got their bags onto the train and soon found Peter, saving an empty one for them near the rear.

About twenty minutes into the ride, Lisa got up to go to the loo, when the door swung open with a crash. She was almost deafened by a loud high-pitched scream, and then suffocated in a tight hug.

"Alice, what the hell?" she managed to mumble, before the shrieking brunette shoved her hand under her nose.

"Frank proposed! We're going to be sisters!"

The entire compartment was quiet for a moment as Lisa stared at the shiny diamond ring on her friend's finger, then everyone shot up to their feet and shouted congratulations. After Alice went through everyone's hugs, she sat down happily and told them how Frank got on one knee and proposed in front of his entire family, which apparently included Lisa's parents.

"We were really sorry you missed it... we looked for you at the Platform, but Frank had to leave for some Auror business. He really wanted to be the one to tell you..." Alice said sadly.

"He'll have plenty of chances to brag about it." Lisa gave her a smile. "So when's the wedding? Am I invited?"

"Invited?" Alice laughed. "We were hoping you'd be the Maid of Honor!"

Lisa's jaw dropped. "Me? You want  _me_  as your Maid of Honor?"

"We've been friends for years, and Frank really is very fond of you," Alice said warmly. "So will you?"

"Er, I... yes, of course I will!" Lisa stammered and rose from her seat again to hug the beaming bride-to-be.

"This Christmas certainly was  _eventful_  for everyone, wasn't it?" Dorcas smirked, elbowing Lisa playfully when she sat back down.

"What do you mean 'eventful'?" Lily inclined her head curiously.

Lisa's whole body stiffened, and she gave Dorcas a reprimanding glare.

"What? Aren't you going to tell them?" the Slytherin asked innocently. "Lisa and Remus are moving in together in the summer."

Congratulations rained again, and Lisa let out a sigh of relief. For a moment there, she thought Dorcas meant the werewolves.

"Speaking of advancing relationships," Dorcas whispered in her ear as the conversation drifted to how miserable Sirius was watching James and Lily snog since New Years. "You still ' _running with the unicorns'_?"

Lisa immediately felt the blood rush to her cheeks. "First of all  _grandma_ , no one says that anymore. And second, what is your obsession with my sex life?" she hissed back.

"You mean your lack thereof?" Dorcas scoffed. "You brought it up, remember?"

"That was two months ago!"

"Point still stands. Unless he  _has_  made a move?"

Lisa blushed like crazy and didn't respond, which was all Dorcas needed to smirk sympathetically again.

"I think you should just talk to him. Get it out in the open, you know?"

"I might die from embarrassment first," Lisa muttered.

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about!" Dorcas insisted. "It's completely natural to want that, and most people our age have already done it. Just ask your dorm mates," she added, nodding towards the beaming Alice.

"I did NOT need to know that!" Lisa whined. "She's marrying Frank, for Merlin's sake!"

"Time to face the music, little unicorn," Dorcas whispered and threw the currently snogging Lily and James a meaning look. "I have a feeling very soon you'll be the last of your kind."

* * *

oOo

Because the train arrived on a Thursday, Alice pretty much absorbed all of Lisa's attention during the next three days with planning the ceremony. Marlene and Lily were also included in the conversation, of course, and the dormitory had become something like Organization Central. On Sunday, they spent more time than usual fussing over the seating arrangements (both the Longbottoms and the Prewetts were expecting _a lot_ of relatives), and decided to call it a night at about quarter to one. As Lisa laid her head on her pillow, however, every time she closed her eyes she kept seeing the seating chart. After about half an hour of restless tossing and turning, she decided to go down to the common room and distract herself with something until she felt sufficiently tired.

The fireplace was still burning quietly when she descended. A lone familiar figure sat on one of the tables, quill in his hand.

"A bit late for writing homework, isn't it?" Lisa said softly, trying not to startle him.

Remus turned around to look at her and gave her a faint smile as she sat down next to him. "I'm just going over it for Peter. With N.E.W.T.s coming up, he's been getting more and more anxious and makes more mistakes in his essays."

"Is this for Flitwick?" She leaned closer to see the title. "That's due tomorrow, isn't it?"

He only gave her a sour smile as a response and went back to work. She settled down next to him and propped her head on one elbow, watching him murmur under his nose and scratch his quill to the parchment. He sighed again and ran a hand through his hair, making it stand on end, a bit like that of his bespectacled friend.

"So are you just going to stand there and stare at me all night?" he asked, scratching his head with the tip of the quill.

"Can't help it. You look very sexy when you're working," she said, eyeing the his unbuttoned collar and rolled up sleeves.

He snorted, without looking up from the parchment. "Yes, girls swoon just at the sight of the shadows under my eyes."

"Mhmm," she purred, not really listening, and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I'm serious, Lisa, I have to finish this tonight," he said tiredly, but her lips on his neck were making a strong argument against it.

"Kiss me," she whispered in his ear, and he lost it.

Half-turning, he seized her waist, crashing his mouth into hers eagerly. "I'll never get anything done with you around," he muttered against her lips, and her body reverberated with laughter. His long fingers rode up her shirt, caressed and kneaded the soft skin underneath, while her arms roved his back and shoulders. He pushed her back, but the chair had no back, so they lost balance and toppled on a heap to the floor. He groaned quietly and rubbed his head where it collided with a chair leg, while her laughter echoed through the empty room.

"You okay?" she asked, leaning over him, still trying to suppress a snicker.

He laughed too and closed his eyes in embarrassment, covering them with his wrist. "I guess I'm not very good at this, am I?"

"Not very good at noticing chairs." She leaned in, laying a hand on his chest. "But a  _brilliant_  kisser."

Her lips met his softly, without the previous fuss, and his hand ran through her hair and rested at the back of her neck.

"I'm sorry." He sighed when they broke apart. "I just get a little... enthusiastic, sometimes."

"Not enough, if you ask me," she mumbled under her breath, but he was too close not to hear and his eyebrows arched in a question. Her whole face flushed red, but Dorcas was right. She had to get it out in the open. "Remus, are you... ever going to get... intimate with me?"

Now it was his turn to blush. Suddenly being trapped between the carpet and her didn't seem as wonderful as it did a second ago. "Erm, w-well, I..."

"Not that I want to pressure you!" she added urgently. "We can wait as long as you want. It's just we've been together almost a year now, and we're both adults, and I've been sleeping in your bed for Merlin knows how many nights, and sometimes you get me all wound up like a spring and then pull away, and I keep thinking there's something wrong with me, I mean I know I'm nowhere near Dorcas-level attractive, and I pretty much have zero real experience, but I don't know, I think I'm decent enough, and-"

Remus was looking up at her, drowning in the waterfall of words. His whole face was burning, and his brain was completely shut off. It seemed like a whole hour passed before she said her piece, blushed even more violently and looked away. He knew he was supposed to say something, but his throat was dry as a desert.

"Hm, er, well, firstly," he forced himself to say, "a lot of... things factor into that. One being the issue of privacy."

"Sirius doesn't seem that concerned when he brings 'lady friends' to your dorm," she noted.

He frowned. "Yes, but I'm not Sirius." 

She bit her lip nervously. "S-Sorry, I didn't mean-"

"Secondly, I've always been..." He swallowed with difficulty. "I've always... been a bit... self-conscious," he admitted quietly.

Lisa nodded vigorously. "I get it! Look, you don't have to explain yourself, I just... I wanted us to be on the same page... so to speak. Take your time, I'll wait until you're ready." She rolled off him and took his previous seat on the table. "I'll finish this up for you. Go get some sleep."

He laid there on the floor for a few long seconds, watching her back and hearing the quill screech over the parchment.

"Are you sure? You don't have to do this..."

"You look tired. I've got this, really." She half-turned to give him an over-the-shoulder smile.

Remus stood up and hesitantly headed up the stairs. He wanted to kiss her goodnight, but his cheeks burned again, and he found himself unable to do it.

As soon as she heard the dormitory door close behind her, Lisa dropped the quill and buried her hot face in her hands. That was  _so_  embarrassing.

* * *

oOo

"About time!" Dorcas grumbled as Lisa trotted over to the History of Magic classroom and leaned against the wall to catch her breath.

"Sorry... I was..." she tried to say between pants.

"You were with Lupin!" Dorcas snapped. "Yes, I gathered. If you wanna snog him between every lesson, at least don't make me waste my time waiting for you!" she spat and walked down the corridor angrily.

"Come on, Cass... it wasn't like that," Lisa tried to apologize, running to catch up with her friend. "I was just headed your way when James called after us and..."

"Oh, well if it was precious  _Golden Boy Potter_ , that makes everything a-okay! Because I'm sure whatever  _he_  had to tell you was absolutely more important than me!"

"What's gotten into you? You know it's not like that-"

"Isn't it?" Dorcas whirled around, facing the confused Gryffindor. "If you're not with Lupin, you're always around those insufferable twats!"

"Those 'twats' saved your skin more than once!" Lisa shot back, starting to get annoyed.

"They saved  _your_  skin," Dorcas corrected her. "I just happened to be in the vicinity."

"You know it wasn't like that! And you like them!"

"Like them?  _Like them?"_  Dorcas' voice was reaching shrill notes. "I barely  _tolerate_  them! Their nickname is the  _Marauders_ , Lisa! What exactly was I supposed to be drawn to, the insufferable smugness, or the moronic jokes?"

"Fine then! If you feel this way, just stop being around them so much!"

"You think I do it because I want to? You're so busy shagging with Lupin or whizzing about the pitch with Potter, about the only time I can even  _see_  you is on the Gryffindor table! I endure that hen McKinnon's clucking on daily basis, but do I complain? No! Because I happen to make sacrifices for this friendship to work, and you can't even be bothered to show up on time!"

"You know very well that if I even walk by the Slytherin table, I'll get a curse in the back!" Lisa replied hotly.

"Oh, yes, and all  _I_  get are glares and insults to the face!" Dorcas rolled her eyes.

"What do you want me to do? Have lunch with you and your Death Eater boyfriend?"

"The one you didn't want me to date because he was  _too dangerous_? You filthy hypocrite!"

A cold shiver ran down Lisa's back, and she looked around in alarm. They were staring to attract a crowd.

"You know those are two completely different things!" she growled through gritted teeth.

"Yes, they are! And you know why? Because I  _let it go_! I don't remind you of his flaws, which you constantly do! I hang out with you and endure your insipid Gryffindor friends  _and_  his, while getting heat from everyone around me for it! I get into fights for you, I defend you against  _everyone_ , I basically carry you through Potions,  _I got poisoned for you!_ " Dorcas was yelling now, completely beside herself.

"Are you blaming me for not being able to keep your sticky fingers out of the cookie jar?" Lisa exclaimed indignantly.

"So after all I did for you, that's the kind of treatment I get?" Dorcas hissed venomously. " _Too bad you nearly died Dorcas, but it was your fault?_ "

"No, that's not... I... I didn't mean-" Lisa fumbled with her words.

"No, I'm tired of this!" Dorcas erupted. "I'm tired of always being the one that makes the effort, while you just shrug it off! I'm tired of helping you, while all you do is  _use_  me!"

The hallway went strangely quiet. Students had formed a semi-circle around them and Lisa heard a few gasps, but her own eyes were starting to get blurry.

"So that's what you think about me?" she asked, barely keeping her voice steady. "That I use you? You think I wouldn't do all of those things for you in turn?"

"What turn? When did  _I_  need someone to do things for me? When did  _I_  ever ask you to stick out your neck for people you haven't even met?" Dorcas spat, shaking slightly. "And when did you ever do  _anything_  for me? You come to me for everything, then  _lie_  to my face, let me think something horrible happened to you, just because that potty old Headmaster told you to! And all you can do is apologize after the fact and convince me to waste my time with more pointless heroics!"

"And what is  _that_  supposed to mean?" Lisa croaked, tears choking her throat.

"You know exactly what it means!" Dorcas shouted. "We're just a drop in the ocean compared to them! Dumbledore is an old fool, and all he can do is  _react_  and  _maybe_  save a couple of muggles, but it's useless in the long run, and I'm  _done_ blindly following him!"

The silence was becoming deafening.

"Don't do this, Cass," Lisa said evenly, but the tears spilled down her cheeks.

"I should've done it a long time ago. Would've saved myself a lot of grief," Dorcas replied in a low voice.

The two girls stared at each other for a long time, too angry, too sad to do or say anything. Then Dorcas turned to leave.

"Don't!" Lisa yelled after her, wand whipping out.

"... So that's how it is, is it?" Dorcas turned around slowly. "After all I did for you, after seven years of friendship, all I have to do is tell you the truth and you turn on me?"

Lisa's hand trembled. "You know things aren't as simple as you make them out to-"

"Yes, they are!" Dorcas snapped. "Dumbledore doesn't have the resources or the manpower to defeat the Dark Lord, and everyone that thinks otherwise is risking their lives for  _nothing_!"

Something flared up inside Lisa, and before she knew it, she fired a Knockback jinx at the Slytherin. Dorcas dropped her bag in a heartbeat and blocked it, then retaliated with a Reductor curse so powerful, it shattered Lisa's conjured silver shield and sent her flying to the floor.

"I would stay down of I were you," Dorcas said quietly. "You never could match me in a duel."

Then someone sprang out from the crowd, and Lily Evans flung herself between them, shielding Lisa's trembling form.

"Then maybe I could give you a run for your money," she growled.

Dorcas regarded her with a cold stare, before picking up her bag from the ground and slowly walking away.

"It's nice to know you had my back," she added after a few steps, "only to stab me in it the instance I turn around. From now on, you and I... are enemies."

And with that, she continued down the corridor, while Lisa's whole body began to shake with tears.


	17. Dorcas the Death Eater

"I thought she said... she was breaking up with him," James said, still a bit dazed. The only thing he got in response was the cracking of Sirius' knuckles.

The seventh year Gryffindors were all gathered in the common room, shocked and confused, trying to process what had just happened.

"I just..." Alice stumbled. "I never thought... I mean, you two were so close, no one really thought she'd go over..."

Lisa just quietly sat in Remus' arms, staring at some fixed point in the distance.

"She said she would distance herself from those gits!" Sirius growled from his armchair, his expression a mixture of anger, shock and hurt.

Lisa shot him a sharp glare. "She wouldn't have been around 'those gits', if you weren't such an arse!"

"Why do you keep blaming everything she does on me!?"

"Because you started it!" Lisa jumped to her feet. "She got pissed off at you and your juvenile antics, and everything just escalated from there! All,  _all_  you had to do was take your head out of your arse for five seconds and show her you aren't the prat she thinks you are, and she never would have ran to Rosier for comfort!"

Everyone stared at her in stunned silence, and with a last glare at Sirius, Lisa stormed off to the dormitory and slammed the door. She leaned against it and breathed in deeply a couple of times, wiping away the small tears in her eyes. Then she calmly walked to her trunk and retrieved the green notebook Dorcas gave to her last year from the fake bottom of her trunk. Climbing into the bed, Lisa drew the curtains closed, taking her Self-Inking Quill from her nightstand.

_So how was I?_

Lisa wrote. She had to wait for a couple of minutes before ink lines appeared further down the page.

**_Pretty good, actually. Ever consider becoming an actress?_ **

_You don't think the tears were too much? And the Knockback Jinx?_

**_Nah, everyone knows you have as much control over your emotions as you do over the weather._ **

_Still, are you sure we shouldn't tell them? I don't like keeping things from Remus._

**_I don't think it's a good idea. He'll blab to his mates and Black will run his mouth. You know how he is._ **

_I don't like this, Cass. It's too dangerous._

**_Says the girl that agreed to have herself kidnapped and tortured._ **

_They didn't torture me. And Dumbledore promised me he'd tell you as soon as possible._

**_Well, now he insists on keeping it a secret for_ ** **_as long_ ** **_as possible. And you know he has a point. If even one of you hesitates to hex me out there, my whole cover could be blown. And for the record, he forbade me from telling you too._ **

_So why did you tell me? I'm sure you would've found a perfect way to push my buttons without my help._

**_I just... couldn't do it if you thought of me as a traitor. It's bad enough that everyone else does... Just keep it to yourself. I'm going up against orders here._ **

_Sure. So... as long as this thing goes on... I won't get to see you?_

**_Too dangerous. For both of us._ **

_But you'll report to Dumbledore somehow!_

**_With a spell of his own invention, he taught it to me at the start of term. He said he'll teach the rest of you in due time as some sort of inner-Order communication. But I think this notebook system is much better and more covert for the two of us. Besides, he said he'd bring me back into the fold eventually... if I don't die first._ **

_Don't say things like that!_

**_Sorry, sorry. Bottom line, I'll talk to you like this, but other than that no, we can't be in contact. No owls, no notes, no nothing. I mean it, Lisa, it could get me in trouble._ **

_Wouldn't the notebook get you in trouble? What if someone reads it?_

**_You really think I'd leave something this important just lying around?_ **

_Alright, sorry. But keep me updated every day! If I don't hear from you in more than a week, I'm coming after you!_

**_Don't you dare! If I die, Dumbledore will let you know, looking for me will only endanger everyone!_ **

_If you die, you're welcome to come haunt my place. We'll watch scary movies and make fun of muggle actors, it'll be a blast._

**_And watch you and Lupin snog every couple of minutes? I think I'll pass._ **

_Your loss. Just make sure you don't die, then._

**_Wasn't planning on it._ **

* * *

oOo

Lisa got a lot of stares the next few days. Some were sympathetic, some gleeful. She had to switch partners for potions, something Slughorn would have usually commented on, but even he didn't ask questions when she quietly asked him if she could join Lily, who insisted on working alone since Mary died. Lily was always the one Lisa felt closest to in her dorm, but this class made their friendship much stronger. They each seemed to fill the gap their best friends had left.

It wasn't the same, of course. Dorcas would give her contemptuous glares whenever she could in public, but they would laugh about it later. The only real drawback was that they couldn't spend time face to face anymore. They wrote in the notebooks almost every day, and during those times it was as if, for just a moment, things were back to normal. But the dawn always came, and they had to pretend to hate each other again. On rare occasions, Dorcas would flash her a smile or give her a small wave when no one was looking, and Lisa felt as if her whole heart warmed up by the small reassurance that it wasn't real. The Gryffindors adopted the strategy to stop mentioning the Slytherin, which they had done when Snape and Lily had their falling out. Lisa was grateful for it, because she didn't know if she could stomach people talking trash about Dorcas. It was hard enough to muster a glare at her direction in public. Lisa knew she hadn't  _really_  lost her, but it did feel that way sometimes.

When she wrote to Dorcas about her fears however, her friend had the most useless advice in existence:

**_Just don't take it so seriously._ **

_Don't take it seriously!? Are you kidding me? You hang around murderers, they could find out and kill you at any moment! That doesn't bother you?_

**_It does, but thinking about it won't make it any easier._ **

_So you just ignore it?_

**_Yup._ **

_Cass._

**_What? If I think about all the horrible stuff they've all done I wouldn't be able to do my job, and it happens to be something that can save many lives in the long run. I just pretend they're normal, everyday tossers. It's the only way I can get through this, really._ **

_So what? I'm just supposed to tell myself you aren't really hanging around them?_

**_Just don't think about it. Imagine I'm trying to pull a prank on them. Something like winning their trust and then transfiguring their hair red and gold._ **

_I don't think I can. I just wish you hadn't agreed to this stupid mission!_

**_Someone's got to do it. And I'm the only one who can._ **

_I don't like this._

**_Yes, I know. This is the millionth time you've said that!_ **

_It's still true!_

**_You're just not used to the idea yet. Why don't you try distracting yourself? Aren't you the Maid of Honor in some wedding?_ **

_Are you serious? You want me to think about_ _Frank's wedding_ _right now!?_

**_It'll get your mind off it. Like after the whole 'werewolf' debacle around Christmas. You'll feel much better after a good distraction._ **

_Oh, thanks for bringing that up again. Because I wasn't worried enough as it is!_

**_Point still stands. That New Years party at the Potters did wonders for your mood._ **

_You give the worst advice. Ever._

**_And yet you still listen to it._ **

* * *

oOo

Lisa's head ached. She had been at it with Alice for hours, compiling a guest list. Both families had  _a lot_  of members, spread across the country  _and_  oversees, and remembering them all wasn't easy. Not to mention they were aiming for a spring wedding, Alice's cousin Molly was heavily pregnant with her third child, many kids would have to be pulled out of school and, oh yes, there was the little hiccup with both of the newlyweds being in the Order. It was a nightmare coordinating all of that.

"I really think a month or two's delay won't make that much of a difference," Lisa was convincing the bride as Lily and Marlene walked into the dorm. "At least then there won't be a threat of a pregnant woman popping out a baby in the middle of the vows. Lily, back me up here!"

Lily looked startled to be addressed at all, and mumbled something about this being Alice's wedding.

"And come on, Uncle Algie should  _not_  be this close to the Firewhiskey! Hasn't Frank told you about that accident on his tenth birthday? I still have nightmares about it," Lisa continued, glancing at the complicated (and still incomplete) seating chart spread across Alice's bed.

"Oh, but he has to be near his wife, and she is Frank's father's sister, so we have to put them on the table with the parents! And the only other available place is next to my Aunt Muriel, but if he truly is as you say, the combination of them can only end in disaster! And there is no other place to put him, the seating chart is simply bursting!" Alice fussed.

"You didn't have to invite very single relative under the sun! I can guarantee you that neither Frank nor I have even spoken to half of these people."

"But it's common courtesy! I didn't want to offend anyone," Alice exclaimed anxiously.

Lisa roller her eyes. "Merlin, you can't let yourself be such a doormat! At least omit the Blacks,  _please_!"

"I can't! They are my uncle's wife's brother and sister-in-law!"

"But they are crazy and evil! They pushed Sirius to run away from home, they were so nightmarish!"

"Oh, I know, but..." Alice wrung her hands nervously.

"Lily, promise me you won't be inviting every single Potter on  _your_  wedding," Lisa quipped.

Lily blushed and mumbled something about it being too soon for that. Alice and Lisa exchanged a look.

"Well, I wouldn't say it's that far away. You were snogging each other senseless in the common room yesterday," Lisa threw in jovially. "Hand me the unsent invitations, will you? They're on my bed."

As soon as the redhead turned her back, wands flew through the air, and in a matter of seconds the unconscious bodies of Lily and Marlene were tied up back to back on the floor.

"You think... Marlene too?" Alice asked hesitantly, looking over the girls.

"Yeah, I'd say so. She wouldn't stay quiet for this long, even if she were gagged," Lisa confirmed. "You reckon I should start putting up wards during the day, too?"

"Lisa," Alice said slowly. "If that's not them..."

The two girls exchanged terrified glances and rushed out the door. Although initially they headed to the portrait hole, Lisa spotted the Marauders in the common room and pulled Alice aside.

"We need your help," she said urgently, interrupting some incredibly funny joke they were laughing at. "I know you guys have a knack of always showing up conveniently in places you have no business being. You have to help us find Lily and Marlene."

"They just went up into the dormitory a couple of minutes ago," Sirius threw in nonchalantly.

"That wasn't them," Alice whispered.

James' eyes widened in shock, and he immediately pulled out a big, square piece of parchment from his bag. Without missing a beat, he put his wand against it and murmured  _'I solemnly swear that I am up to no good'_. Instantly, ink started to slither across the pages, much like what the first schedules for the Defenders were like. To Alice and Lisa's amazement, the parchment revealed itself to be a full map of Hogwarts, complete with the names of everyone in it and their location. The six teens leaned over and searched, until finally Peter exclaimed 'Here!'. They were... in the library. Just the two of them, seemingly studying.

"It looks like they're safe," James breathed out in relief.

"I wouldn't be so sure," Remus said, pointing out several other dots, scattered suspiciously close to the girls.

"Are they spying on them?" Peter asked.

"More like waiting to ambush..." Lisa trailed off. What were they playing at? Those were definitely Death Eaters, but why were they only lurking and not attacking?

"I think they may be laying down a trap," Alice said reasonably. "They can't have the real Lily and Marlene walking around, but at the same time, it's too risky to make a move an them in a crowded place. But, as long as the two of them stay in the Library, seven floors below Gryffindor Tower, they won't be in the way. Maybe they thought they could wait it out until the impostors did their thing. That way no one would even notice anything was amiss before it was too late. But if they decide to leave before the Death Eaters have the 'Okay' from the impostors..."

"The trap springs," Lisa finished for her. Alice gave her a short nod.

"So the question is," Sirius drawled. "Do we spring it?"

The Gryffindors exchanged tense glances.

"I think we should mobilize the Defenders. There doesn't seem to be that many," James proposed, scanning the map.

"And have a fight  _in the Library_?" Lisa whined. Remus, Peter and Sirius tried to hide smirks, but James glared at her.

"Lily and Marlene are more important than your precious books, Fawley!"

"I know that..." Lisa said miserably and Sirius sniggered.

* * *

oOo

"Alright," said Benjy Fenwick ten minutes later, as about fifteen of the Defenders were huddled outside the Library. "What's the plan?"

Everyone turned to James.

"We go in one at a time," the Head Boy said in a low voice. "Everyone find a Death Eater and stand close by. Don't be obvious about it, pretend you're about to do homework, that you're looking for a book, whatever. When I give the signal, you take them out  _quietly_. We should try to avoid a scene if we can."

"And what's the signal?" Emma Vance asked.

James looked at his mates, eyes lingering on Remus for a second, and a slight grin graced his lips. "I'll howl."

"Howl?" Dirk Cresswell raised an eyebrow.

"Like a wolf. It'll be a distraction too, and you can miss it or misinterpret it. As soon as I do, stun your Death Eater. With some luck we'll pull Lily and Marlene out and be back in the Great Hall for dinner in ten minutes."

The Defenders nodded and started entering the Library one by one, with a few seconds difference. When it was Lisa's turn, she greeted Madam Pince as per usual, using that time to scan the room. The closest unguarded Death Eater was Avery, and she had to contain a scowl when she saw him shoot a glare at Lily. Lisa made her way over to the shelf where he was standing, when she spotted Eddie Cornhill, leafing through a book not two meters away. The Gryffindor cringed internally as she realized James' plan had a slight hole in it – there were other students in the Library. Lisa had to make a decision and do it fast, so she cursed under her breath and approached.

"Hi, Eddie. I heard you needed some help with Charms? Flitwick told me I could earn some extra credit with tutoring, so if you're up for it...?"

The sixth year looked at her in bewilderment, and unfortunately, Avery noticed them. He continued pretending to be engulfed in the book he was holding, which for the record was in Gobbledegook.

"Thanks for the offer, but I'm managing..." Eddie said, a bit puzzled. Lisa's eyes darted between the shelves of books. They didn't have much time.

"Well, you can always get better," she insisted, curling her fingers firmly around the Beater's wrist. Avery shot them a look.

"What the hell are you doing? Let go!" Eddie tried to resist, and Lisa saw Avery reach for his wand. She couldn't wait for the signal anymore and pulled out her own at the same time as him. The two of them were stared daggers at each other, caught in a standstill.

"What's going on?" Eddie exclaimed. The Slytherin fired a spell at him, but Lisa sidestepped between them, her Quidditch reflexes giving her a speed advantage. She erected a shield charm in time, then quickly retaliated with a stunner. Avery collapsed in a heap to the floor.

"The Tower. Now," she hissed sideways at Eddie.

He stared at her like a deer in headlights, before breaking into a run. Suddenly a jet of blue light hit him in the back, and his whole body froze, then toppled to the ground. In seconds, thick ropes materialized out of nothing and wrapped tightly around him.

"What's your hurry, Cornhill?" a voice sneered behind them. "Stay a while."

Lisa whirled around and came face to face with Regulus Black.


	18. Priori Incantatem

Lisa had never seen Regulus so up close before. Usually their encounters were accompanied by at least a couple of Death Eaters (Defenders optional), or were contained within a few contemptuous glances over the Great Hall tables. But now that she had a chance to have a good look at him, it struck her how similar he was to Sirius. Regulus was shorter and slimmer than his brother, but his hair was the same inky black tinge, and their self-satisfied smirks were almost identical. Something moved in her stomach at the thought of hexing him, but her wand hand was steadily pointed at his chest.

"Regulus," she said politely. "Nice to finally meet you properly. I've heard a lot about you."

"From my worthless blood-traitor brother, no doubt," Regulus sneered. Suddenly Lisa's reluctance to curse him was reduced significantly. "I bet he's told you all kinds of sob stories, hasn't he?"

"You mean about how your family turned their backs on him?" Lisa asked coldly. "No, actually. That I figured out myself."

" _We_  turned our backs on him?" Regulus snorted. "Of course he'd twist it around so he's the scared little victim. Forget the fact that he detests us, brings all kinds of muggle filth in our house and openly defies our parents."

"Right. Because I'm sure your parents were always kind and loving and never did anything to make him, I don't know, run away?" she asked, voice dripping with sarcasm. A small waver of doubt crossed his eyes, but he gripped his wand tighter. "And Sirius does not detest you," she added softly. "He's actually very worried about you."

He stared at her with a mixture of mistrust and curiosity. "So he does talk about our family?"

"Only about you. And about the path you're on."

Regulus' face suddenly grew angry. "The path  _I'm_  on? That happens to be the  _right_  path! He's the one that strayed!"

"Sirius made his own choice! Have you?"

He stared at her blankly for a second, then the thin smirk returned to his face, but it lacked the mischievous spark that Sirius' had. "What does it look like to you?"

None of them said anything more. A red beam erupted from his wand, almost at the same time as the blue one from hers. The spells met mid-air and collided, and suddenly Lisa's wand shuddered in her hand. She looked down, astonished to discover her fingers were glued to it. A thin yellow beam of light poured out of the tip and merged with an identical one, coming from Regulus'. Their eyes met, and she could see he was just as stunned and amazed as she was. Wind rushed in her ears, as many more beams erupted from the one connecting their wands and spread around them, forming a cage of light. The bookshelves in both directions were knocked down and away from them, and Lisa heard shouts and people moving about. The wand was vibrating violently in her hand, and she could no longer pay attention to the muffled cries outside the enclosure as a deafening roar echoed all around them. It was a powerful and penetrating sound, filling her with courage and resolve. A Dragon call.

Regulus' eyes darted apprehensively to the many strings of light, searching for the origin of the sound, but it seemed to come from nowhere and everywhere all at once. The wands shook again, and balls of white light began forming along the golden cord connecting them. Regulus' eyes narrowed when they started sliding his way. Lisa felt as if her whole arm was zapped with lighting when the orbs slowed their approach and turned in her direction instead. She watched them helplessly, almost feasibly feeling his will pushing them towards her. Her wand was steadily becoming hotter, and she thought she'd have third degree burns after this, but couldn't let go. The closest light shivered, then entered the tip and a white puff of smoke erupted from it, forming into Lily's unconscious body, accompanied by a cry of pain. Lisa stared at it in horror, before it dissipated. The wand in her hand was vibrating so feverishly, she was afraid it'd snap into pieces. Another silhouette emerged, this time with only a slight hiss and became the shirtless body of James Potter, wounds at his torso and shoulder knitting together. What followed was the image of the wand itself, its end emitting a soft ghostly light, then of stain of pumpkin juice disappearing from a flat surface. The ghosts of her spells. Lisa realized with horror what would follow. The locking spell on the fake bottom of her trunk. The place she kept the green notebook.

It was as if someone threw a bucket of cold water on her. If Regulus caught a glimpse of that, and the Death Eaters somehow got their hands on the contents of that notebook...

The dragon roar reverberated through the air, and she felt as if it was telling her to fight back. Her jaw tightened, and she concentrated every single fiber of her being into pushing the little balls of light away from her. Her entire body shook with the tremors of her wand, but she pushed with all she was worth, and very slowly, the white orbs stopped and reversed direction. Lisa could faintly register that a battle was raging outside the dome of light, but she had to stay focused. Regulus' face was pale, but his determination was palpable as he glared at the golden string. It was in vain, however, as the quivering of his wand intensified and one of the light beads finally slipped into it. The ropes he conjured for Eddie materialized in a puff of smoke, as did his body, falling limp on the ground. Then a blood-chilling scream mixed with the roar of the dragon, as the ghostly body of a curly-haired girl writhed with agony at his feet. The echo of a Cruciatus Curse. The Slytherin was looking at it in shock, tiny drops of sweat forming upon his forehead.

Suddenly, voices shouted in unison ' _Finite!_ ' as if from somewhere very far away, and the golden cage disappeared in a blinding explosion of light. The roar of the dragon died down, and Lisa and Regulus were flung back by some invisible force when the beam connecting them severed. Lisa's head spun wildly as her mind was filled with thoughts and emotions that weren't hers. Images of people flashed before her eyes, accompanied by a choir of different voices, only one of which she recognized.

...' _Good riddance! At least now he won't fill his brother's head with ideas of rebelling and befriending filthy half-bloods and blood traitors!_ '...

...' _You don't have to be who they want you to be! Think with your own head for once, Reg!_ '

' _It's you who walked out on me, Sirius! You don't get to stand there, tell me what to do and pretend you care!_ '...

... ' _Soon, Regulus. Soon. The Dark Lord will call upon you when he has need of you, and not before. Your turn will come... just be patient_ '...

... ' _You want to make your family proud, don't you Regulus? Now do it! Say the words!_ '...

... ' _Don't tell me you're getting cold feet, Black_ '...

And just like that, the memories ended. Lisa stared in disbelief at Regulus, who was whiter than a sheet. She felt someone lift her from the ground. Sirius pulled her arm around his shoulder when she staggered. He threw a glare at his brother, and without a word turned his back on him and helped Lisa out of the Library.

* * *

oOo

About half an hour later, the Gryffindors were licking their wounds in the common room. A few of the Defenders were injured, but most made it out okay, seeing as they were already expecting a fight. Marlene had a bruise over her left eye from a stray book, Alice nearly lost her head to a Reductor Curse, and Peter was almost caught in the landslide of bookshelves, but other than that, everyone was in one piece. Lily was treating a bruise on Lisa's hip. When Sirius and James got the bright idea to break the golden dome with a counter spell, the force of the blast knocked her into the edge of one of the fallen bookshelves.

" _Honestly_ , what came over you knobheads to try and break up a  _Priori Incantatem_?" Lily muttered under her breath angrily.

"A what?" asked James, exchanging a look with Sirius.

" _Priori Incantatem_ ," Remus explained. "It's a magical phenomenon that occurs when two wands with the same core are forced to duel."

"Same cores?" Sirius echoed, confused. "There are only three bloody types!"

"Not the same  _type_ ," Remus clarified. "Core from the same  _creature_."

"Regulus and I both have a heartstring from the same dragon," Lisa added tiredly. "I heard it roaring when we were struggling."

"So what does this thing  _do_?" James asked. "What was happening under that net?"

"Do? It doesn't do anything," Lisa said. "It's to show that the wands are 'brothers' and won't fight each other." She shot a very quick glance at Sirius. "We were just sort of locked in place."

"That's not completely true," Remus corrected her. "It forces a battle of wills. The stronger willed witch or wizard forces the loser's wand to regurgitate ghostly echoes of previous spells in reverse order of which they were cast."

"Regurgitate?" Peter called from one of the armchairs.

"It means to recreate, Wormtail." James rolled his eyes. "So? Did you see any of Regulus' spells?"

Lisa's eyes involuntarily shifted to Sirius again. "No," she said quietly. "He got the better of me."

"It's not like it would matter," Marlene chimed in. "Who cares what ole' Reg's been up to? He's a Death Eater now. What I want to know is, did you lot see that spell Rosier used? That was  _not_  something they teach in Hogwarts."

"Following the Dark Lord has its advantages," James growled. "He's probably teaching them new tricks."

The conversation shifted in that direction, but Lisa couldn't get the voices she heard out of her head. It seemed that when the connection was severed by an outside force, she sort of... peeked into Regulus' mind somehow. She felt his hesitation, his reluctance to torture and kill... his conflicted emotions towards his brother, his strong loyalty to family... Regulus Black was not cut out to be a Death Eater. And he knew it.

"Cheer up, Lisa," Alice tried to say a few minutes later as the four girls were climbing the staircase to the dormitory to change out of their battle-worn and ripped robes. "Only a couple of books got hit... and Madam Pince said she would fix them..."

"Yeah... only a few..." she replied absentmindedly.

"I'm actually kind of touched you were willing to risk the safety of books for us," Marlene quipped. "You almost killed your boyfriend over one a couple of months a...go..."

Her jaw dropped, along with everyone else's, when Alice opened the door to reveal the whole room had been turned upside down. Books, scales, socks and other belonging were rolling on the floor, mixed with the remains of their pillows. Even the mattresses were turned over.

"Alice..." Lisa said in a faint voice. "I think we forgot to take the wands from the impersonators."

The two of them exchanged a quick look, and the four girls proceeded to gather their possessions and repair the ripped and broken furniture. Lisa knelt down next to her trunk and tapped the fake bottom cautiously. She breathed a sigh of relief when she found the green notebook precisely the way she left it. If the Death Eaters got a hold of it... Dorcas would be as good as dead.

* * *

oOo

In the evening, after she said goodnight to her dorm mates and drew the curtains around her bed, Lisa readied her Self-Inking Quill and opened the notebook, but a message was already waiting for her.

**_Snape told me what happened at the Library. Is everyone okay?_ **

_Yeah, something happened with mine and Regulus' wands._

**_Priori Incantatem. I know. Evan said it was quite the sight. I wish I was there to see it._ **

_Where were you?_

**_Busy getting jinxed. Thanks for the bruise, by the way._ **

_You were one of the impostors?!_

**_McKinnon. Snape's been brewing the Polyjuice since before Christmas brake. They needed a girl, and one that would know enough to fool you._ **

_Is that's why you acted nothing like her?_

**_Figured you'd notice the lack of clucking._ **

Lisa chuckled to herself.

_How was it?_

**_You mean the Essence of McKinnon? It was pink and tasted like liquid diabetes._ **

Lisa laughed loudly, causing her to slap a palm over her mouth and stare at the curtains intently for a few seconds. Luckily, none of the other girls were curious enough to poke in, and she cast a quick silencing charm, just in case.

_Who was Lily?_

**_No idea. Met her at the portrait of the Fat Lady, must be from a different house. For the record, we were sent to get the Sword of Gryffindor._ **

_Any idea why Voldemort still wants it?_

**_None. No one else does either, we are not given such inconsequential things as_ ** **_reasons_ ** **_. Then it might actually make some sense to follow a deranged psychopath. Or not, now that I think about it. I avoided the fake bottom on your trunk, but for the future, are there other places I should be careful about?_ **

_No. The Sword isn't in the castle, feel free to give away a secret or two about me._

The quill hovered over the paper as Lisa considered if she should ask Dorcas the questions pestering her for the last few days.

_Cass?_

**_What?_ **

_I, erm... I wanted to ask for some advice._

**_Okay..._ **

_Does it -_ Lisa took a deep breath and gripped the quill tighter.  _\- hurt?_

**_Does what hurt?_ **

_Er... you know... the first time. With a bloke._

**_Ah, so you're planning to go through with it?_ **

Lisa felt like she would faint from the embarrassment, but really, Dorcas was the only person she would even consider talking to about this.

_Yeah, I sort of... got it out in the open, like you said..._

**_And?_ **

_And... I told him I'd wait for as long as he needs. But, you know... when he's ready, I'd have no idea what to do. Even if it's a year from now, I'd like to... be prepared._

**_So why don't you read a book about it? Isn't that what you usually do?_ **

_First of all, anyone can catch me reading that, and I would die. Second of all... everything's a bit too medical._

**_So you_ ** **_did_ ** **_try it?!_ **

_Shut up._

Lisa paused to give her friend time to giggle in peace.

_So will you help me or not?_

**_What do you want me to do?_ **

_Just... prepare me. Tell me what to expect, what to do._

**_There isn't much of anything you_ ** **_can_ ** **_do the first time. Trust me, it's not the big deal you're imagining it to be. Mostly, after it you just think 'That was it?'_ **

_So lower my expectations, is what you're saying?_

**_I'm saying don't_ ** **_have_ ** **_any expectations. It'll probably be his first time too, unless he had a secret string of lovers no one knows about, and it'll probably be over in five minutes._ **

_Five minutes?_

**_Maybe less. Depends on how nervous he is, or how much self control he has._ **

_What if he has a lot of self control?_

**_About other things maybe, about this – not much. I guarantee it._ **

_Alright then. So probably short and not very glorious._

**_Definitely both of those._ **

_Okay... so... I've heard it hurts. Does it hurt?_

_**Depends. It's different for everyone. Dahlia said it hurt like hell the entire time. Didn't for me. I mean, it hurt, but once the cherry popped it pretty much faded quickly. She also said she bled a lot, for me it was maybe a couple of drops.** _

_So it's better if I expect the pain?_

**_Probably yes. Better you're surprised by the lack of it, rather than the presence. Also, foreplay helps. The more relaxed you are, the easier it'll be._ **

_How am I supposed to be relaxed, when I'm expecting pain?!_

**_Hey, don't shoot the messenger. That's why rape hurts, you know. If you want it, you let him in and it's good. When you don't, you get all tight and it's like someone is shoving a broomstick up_ **

_OKAY! No need for gory details!_

Lisa's whole face was burning red.

**_Once you're over it, it won't be such an embarrassing thing to talk about. I'm telling you, you're making it out to be way more important that it really is._ **

_What about contraceptives? I haven't really researched any options._

**_Oh, no need to worry. I'll place an order in your name at the apothecary I get mine from. It's this little violet potion, you can take it within 24 hours after the fact. It's completely harmless, I've been using it for years._ **

_Who did you... I mean, when did you..._

Lisa had known her friend hadn't been a 'unicorn' for a long while now, but she had never asked, and Dorcas didn't share which of her 'dates' ended up going farther than normal.

**_When did I lose it? Fifth year. On Valentine's Day, with David Gudgeon._ **

_That Ravenclaw Keeper you dated for two months?_

**_Yeah, him. It was in his dorm, he'd kicked out the others to find another place to sleep._ **

_What is it with you and Quidditch players?_

**_Evan isn't a Quidditch player._ **

_Yeah, but you don't really care for him that much._

Dorcas was quiet.

_Am I wrong?_

It took a while before the brunette finally surrendered.

**_No, you're not wrong. I thought I did, because he comforted me after the whole Sirius thing. He was there for me to vent, to laugh with, to hold. He was just there._ **

_Because Sirius wasn't._

**_Sirius, he... he's just... not the person for me, Lisa._ **

_But you love him._

**_It doesn't matter._ **

_It_ _does_ _matter! It's the only thing that matters! And he's not indifferent towards you either, I can just tell!_

**_Whatever he felt, it's gone now. I'm a Death Eater, remember?_ **

_If we tell h_

**_We_ ** **_can't_ ** **_tell him! You know he'll never let it go, and he'll give me away. This job happens to be important!_ **

_So... so you'll just continue being with Rosier? In a loveless relationship?_

**_Better him than no one, right?_ **

_... I'm not sure I agree._


	19. Remus Lupin, P.I.

"You should've stayed behind," Lisa said again as she and Remus were walking through the knee-deep snow, hand in hand.

"I'm fine," he insisted meekly, caressing her reddened hand with his thumb.

"You are not fine. You're exhausted and you still haven't completely recovered from the December full moon. It's a simple mission; I could've handled it on my own."

The mission in question was just checking up on Maximus Palmer, one of the Order's allies who wasn't a full-on member. Dumbledore had reason to believe he might be targeted by Death Eaters, and he hadn't been in contact for a while. It had been only a day since the January full moon, and Lisa wanted Remus to remain in Hogwarts and rest, but he insisted on coming along.

"I'm not the one who's shivering from the cold," he pointed out.

"It's -3C!" Lisa protested. It must be that bloody lycanthropy that kept him from feeling the piercing chill and being as frigid as she was, despite the two sweaters she was wearing. "That's freezing, for those of us with a pulse!" she added, lifting their connected hands to illustrate her point. His was as normal as ever, while hers was red and sensitive from the cold.

Remus frowned. "Why didn't you bring gloves?"

"Everything was a mess after the dorm got raided; I still haven't sorted all my things out," Lisa said defensively. "I thought I wouldn't need them, how was I supposed to know it would be this cold?"

He shook his head with a small sigh and brought her hand close to his lips, cupping it with both of his and blowing his warm breath on it. Lisa felt her heart melt in her chest, spreading warmth through her entire body and instantly felt a million times better. Watching him repeat the motion, she could tell her face was turning pink. After almost a year, he could still make her blush with something so mundane and simple...

"I didn't bring you along so you can do  _that_ ," Lisa said.

Remus threw her a puzzled look. "That?"

"That," she repeated, nodding to her own hand, which he still held mere inches from his mouth. "Stop doing that. If there really is trouble at Palmer's, I'd like my knees  _not_  to feel like butter."

He stared at her for a second, then laughed, draping his arm over her shoulders and pulling her close as they walked. "There. Now even if your knees are weak, you can lean on me."

Lisa laughed too, wrapping her own arm around his waist. "You smug bastard." She knew they shouldn't be goofing off like that while on a mission, but his body was so warm... "What's that?" she asked, noticing a small cut on his jaw.

"Hm? Oh, it's from shaving this morning. Didn't see the point in healing it, it'll knit itself in about a day or two."

"Why must you be so clean-shaven all the time? I kind of like you with a bit of stubble."

He threw her an amused look. "No, thank you. I have enough hair as it is, especially during certain nights."

"But you might look cool with a bit of facial hair! How would you know if you never tried it?"

"Even if I did, I wouldn't be comfortable with it."

"That's because you have that stupid aversion to anything wolfish!" Lisa laughed. He didn't reply, but his face turned sour immediately. "Oh, come off it!" She poked him in the ribs playfully. "I love wolves! They're... fluffy."

He rolled his eyes, fighting to keep the smile off his face. "You're such a child sometimes."

"I have to compensate for your being such a humorless brick!"

"I'm a brick, am I?" he exclaimed and scooped some snow from a nearby fence, shoving it right in her face and making her gasp in surprise.

Lisa bent down and filled her own hand with snow, but just as she was about to fling it at his head, she noticed he was now wearing a serious expression, looking forward intently. Her hand dropped, and she turned her gaze in the same direction. They were standing close to the wooden fence of a small cottage. The bare branches of the two trees in the garden were covered with a thick line of white, and a few ugly muggle ceramic gnomes were poking their noses above the blanket of snow. The front door was still adorned with a Christmas wreath, and lifeless strings of lights hung from the eaves. Lisa checked the address on the previous house. They were in the right place, and nothing seemed to be amiss. She made to advance towards the gate, but Remus held her back.

"Take out your wand."

"Why? There's no Dark Mark in the sky, it should be safe."

He nodded towards the yard. "The tracks."

Lisa scanned the garden, which bore three fresh, very distinct trails, leading in and then out. There were no other footprints at all, no snow cleared to make a path to the door, and this snow was at least two or three weeks old. Lisa reached inside her pocket for the wand, as Remus gripped his own, and the two slowly opened the garden gate and walked toward the front door wearily. Lisa lifted her hand to knock, but he held her wrist mid-motion. The two listened for movement inside, but the only thing they could pick up was the faint crackling of a fire.

"He could be asleep?" she supposed in a low voice.

He placed his hand on the handle, turning it gently. It opened soundlessly, and he shot her a look. Palmer knew Death Eaters might be on his trail, but didn't bother to lock his door? Lisa nodded and the pair slipped inside.

The house was a mess. The furniture was strewn all over the floor in pieces, a very expensive-looking china cabinet had been overturned, and what remained of the plates was scattered on the orange-and-red carpet. The armchairs were knocked over; picture frames lay broken among remnants of couch pillows. A magical fire was burning in the hearth, a few ashy trails leading from it to under the sofa. Remus knelt down to peek under it and performed a Freezing Charm on the Ashwinder eggs he found there. Stepping over the broken stand lamp, Lisa peered into the kitchen. The fridge door lay open, the light inside it shining over the various jars and containers whose contents was leaving stains all over the floor. Out in the hallway she found long cuts along the walls. The wallpaper was peeling in those places, and when she approached to inspect them closer, Lisa saw the wood of the staircase behind them bore the deep marks as well. She turned around and noticed they were directly opposite the living room door. Remus' careful steps echoed through the wooden floor as he joined her.

"We're too late," she muttered while he was examining the cuts.

"Not necessarily. Whatever happened here was a little over two hours ago."

Lisa blinked at him a couple of times. "And how would you know that?"

"The Ashwinder." He nodded back towards the living room. "The house hasn't gone up in flames yet, which means the eggs haven't been sitting under that couch for over an hour, but they were hot enough not to be too recent. And it would take about as much for the Ashwinder itself to be born. And this," he added, tracing the indentations in the wall, "was done with a knife."

"A knife?"

"The lines are jagged and uneven. Magic leaves more precise, clean cuts. Death Eaters don't bother with knives."

"Usually."

He gave her a faint smile. "Yes, usually."

"So what do you think, then? Staged?"

Remus nodded. "But not for us."

The two of them lifted their heads simultaneously to look up at the ceiling. Nodding to each other, they slowly advanced up the stairs. The second floor was split into two parts by the hallway and four doors awaited them, two on each side. Three of them were wide open, but the one on the far left was closed. Remus and Lisa exchanged a look, and she made straight for it as he threw cursory looks in the other rooms.

She tried the handle. It was locked.

" _Alohomora_ ," Lisa whispered, her wand pointed at the keyhole. The door gave way.

Lisa gripped her wand tighter and gave the door a small push, letting it swing on its hinges. The bedroom it revealed was in a similar state of disarray as the rest of the cottage. The mattress was overturned, the wardrobe in the corner was missing a door and clothes, sheets and other objects were rolling together on the floor, but the couple's attention was quickly drawn to the middle of the room, where an unconscious, short man with messy blond hair was hanging upside down, turning slowly. Lisa tried to rush over, but as soon as her foot stepped inside the room a high-pitched alarm sounded off, making her reach up to cover her ears. In three long strides, she made it to the window just in time to see three figures materialize right in front of the garden gate. Remus wasted no time in bringing the man down and tried to Disapparate, but the cottage must've been enchanted with Anti-Apparition charms. He then tried to carry the man out, but his still-injured leg wobbled dangerously under him, and Lisa slipped Palmer's other arm around her shoulders. They made it out the door and exchanged a glance, knowing the staircase was their only exit. Lisa could tell that Remus' brain was working feverishly, but there was no other way. She made to let go of Palmer and intercept them, when Remus suddenly whirled around and pointed his wand inside the room. The window flew open and a pillow on the floor grew feathers and moved, before he closed the door and aimed at it too. It shone blue, indicating he'd just locked it, and then he pulled both Lisa and the unconscious man into the first door on the right of the stairs, which was a bathroom. Lisa reached to close the door, but he pulled her behind it, put a finger to his lips and cast a Disillusionment charm on all of them.

They held their breath as floorboards squeaked lightly under somebody's feet and the three men walked by the wide open door. The wailing alarm charm finally stopped, and they barged inside the empty room. There was a sound of wings flapping in the air and the men began pacing around inside.

"A bird? How could a bird set off the charm?"

"It flew in through the open window. Obviously."

"And how did the window  _get_  open?"

"Palmer must've done it before he scurried away."

There was a throaty laugh.

"In the state I left him in, he wouldn't be able to make it this far so soon. We were  _just_  here."

"Bastard must've called for help before we got him. No one would've noticed something was amiss so quickly."

"And how did they whisk him away in less than a minute?"

There was a long silence, during which Lisa considered their limited options, gripping her wand tighter. Remus still wasn't in top shape, they had a motionless body that would only slow them down and three Death Eaters in the other room that wouldn't hesitate to kill. Their chances in an open battle were slim. If she could only come up with some sort of plan...

" _Homenum Revelio!_ " a voice sounded through the wall, and the time to strategize was up. The Disillusionment Charm was broken, and Lisa felt Palmer's entire weight shift on her shoulder as Remus tore out into the corridor and shot hexes at the Death Eaters.

Seizing the chance, she heaved the limp body and ran out, almost falling down the stairs in her rush. She made it outside and turned to look behind her. Light was flashing in the upstairs windows, indicating the battle was still going. Her grip on Palmer tightened, but she didn't Disapparate. If she went back in there, she'd squander the chance Remus risked his life to give her, but if she left, she would be abandoning him to fight three on one... Except he didn't have to  _win_. He just had to make it out of the house. Lisa raised her wand, and even as she was muttering the incantation, she knew it was a stupid, reckless idea. The wall of the second floor bedroom blew up in a loud explosion, and she managed to Apparate herself and Palmer to safety just before the shower of bricks and broken glass fell on top of them.

* * *

oOo

Lisa materialized in front of Mad-Eye Moody's house, panting heavily. She dragged the still-unconscious body of Maximus Palmer to the door and rapped the knocker insistently. The door swung open and Moody looked her over with his normal eye while the magical one scanned the area behind her.

"Death Eaters?" he asked gruffly, and she nodded. He ushered her in and watched as she laid the man draped over her shoulders on the couch.

"Were you followed?" came the next question.

Lisa shook her head. "No, but Remus should be right behind me," she said, more confidently than she felt, and headed outside again.

Her eyes lingered on the pavement for a couple more minutes, but there was still no sign of him. She paced back and forth nervously. Did he Apparate to somewhere else? It was possible he went to Hogsmeade instead. Or that she knocked him out with her spell. Or that he was captured. Or killed. Her heart gave a painful shudder. Why did she let him come along? He was too weak to be taking three on at once; his bones were still aching from the transformation, not to mention the vicious bite on his leg that still hadn't healed! How did she let him talk her into this? If something happened to him, it would be her fault! Her fault for letting him come, for letting him be the distraction, for leaving him there alone to take care of things that should've been  _her_  responsibility...

Suddenly, her thoughts were interrupted by a  _crack_  as Remus finally Apparated in. He staggered a bit, and she rushed to support him, hugging him tightly in the process. He winced, but she didn't let go.

"What took you so long?" she breathed into his shoulder.

"That explosion," he said shortly, and she finally let go to look him over. He was covered in white dust, there were a few cuts across his face, and he was holding his upper arm awkwardly.

"Did I hit you?" Lisa asked with concern, helping him along the way to Moody's door.

"No," he replied, closing it shut behind them. "I managed to stun one before you decided to blow up the house. Another was blasted straight into the wardrobe and lost consciousness. The third was hit in the eye with a piece of glass. He started wailing and shooting hexes blindly, I'm relatively certain there's almost nothing left of the roof anymore. I was caught under a support column, but I—"

"You got out in one piece, that's all that matters," Moody said from the den. "I sent Dumbledore a message; he wants you to stay put and babysit the Ministry bloke until we can send for a Healer." He inclined his head backwards to the room, and the blue eye disappeared into its socket, no doubt checking on said bloke. "I've been called in," he added, reaching for his black winter cloak. "There's a med kit in the bathroom and tea in the pantry. Help yourselves."

* * *

oOo

Ten minutes later Lisa had helped Remus into an armchair and was healing the cuts on his face, two cups of herbal tea steaming on the table and a fire crackling in the fireplace

"I'm so sorry for this," she said softly after helping him remove his jumper so she could have a look at his shoulder. A large purpling bruise was glaring at her angrily among his other various scars, and her heart sank a little.

"It's alright," he replied as she reached for the jar of yellow Bruise Removal paste. "They were pressing me too hard, anyway. Two I could've taken out, but three so soon after the full moon..." He sighed and turned slightly so she could have a better view of the injury. Lisa dabbed the paste on his shoulder gently, but he still had to try very hard not to groan in pain.

"I didn't mean to hit you too," she repeated guiltily. "I just sort of... panicked. It was the only thing I could think of to break the Anti-Apparition Charm, and I couldn't just leave you there."

"Frankly, I'm surprised you didn't run right back in," he said, a smile twitching on his lips.

Lisa blushed, deciding not to tell him she was seriously considering doing just that. "Someone had to take him to safety." She nodded towards the couch. "Otherwise I never would've run  _out_  in the first place."

He smiled at her and shook his head slightly. "It was reckless, but it's fine, really. For all we know, you might've saved my life."

She smiled back, but knew he was only saying that to make her feel less guilty. "You were brilliant in there, by the way," she added, screwing the lid of the jar closed and handing him his jumper back.

"If I were brilliant, I would have snuck up to them while they were talking and locked them in the room." He sighed, putting it on gingerly. "It would've given us enough time to retreat without resorting to blowing up the house."

"I meant before that. The tracks, the Ashwinder eggs, the cuts in the wall... I never would've looked twice at those. Have you considered a career as a private detective?"

Remus chuckled softly, bringing the cup of tea to his lips. "And who would pay me for something they could call in the Auror Office for?"

"A person that needs something done 'off the books'?"

"Being a detective is not as easy as it's portrayed in muggle novels. You need to be skilled in tracing, disguises, photography, know a lot about the law, both muggle and magical, analyze data and most importantly, you need to have  _connections_. If people don't know who you are, they'll go to someone they've heard of. Both Sam Spade and Sherlock Holmes worked with the police, at least to some extent."

"You could work with the Aurors then!"

He gave her a sad smile. "I doubt anyone there would bring cases over to a werewolf."

"Frank would."

"Frank is not in charge of the department."

"He could be, one day." Lisa grinned.

"And what am I supposed to do until then? No normal wizard, let alone an Auror, would voluntarily approach a known werewolf for help."

"Because they'd know you're better than them and wouldn't want to stomach the shame when you crack a case they've been mulling over for days," she said matter-of-factly, shaking her head gravely with a perfectly serious expression, and it made him smile genuinely again.

"Just goes to show that every now and then it's good to take a look around before you leap straight into the thick of action. You might want to try it sometime."

Lisa rolled her eyes. "I still think it's a good idea. Remus Lupin, P.I. Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"

"... You've been reading  _The Maltese Falcon_  again, haven't you?"

"That's beside the point! You just need a dingy office with your name on the door and a secretary to look at."

"Are you offering to be my secretary?" He grinned over his steaming cup and it struck some sort of cord inside her. He looked so downright seductive, all she wanted to do was climb in his lap and snog him until he couldn't tell up from down.

"I could be, until you find someone else," she said instead, taking a sip of her own tea, and then added, "A  _male_  someone."

Remus laughed, trying not to be too loud for the sake of the unconscious man on the couch.

She giggled too and moved her chair closer so she could finally lean in and kiss him. Something about his chapped lips, the crackling of the fire and the smell of tea on his breath made her feel a bit of déjà vu. He drew her into his arms and onto his lap, and she leaned against his good shoulder. The taste of chamomile and the feeling of his hair between her fingers almost made her forget where they were, and that he had boundaries she had promised to respect.

"You have no idea how much I wanted to do this for the majority of last winter," she said when they broke apart, burying her face in his neck and planting a few kisses there. To her surprise, his chest reverberated with muffled laughter.

"You? If you only had an inkling of what it took for me to stay my hand every time you got close enough..."

"Define 'close enough'."

"Crossing my line of vision."

They laughed again and he tightened his embrace around her, when a low moan came from the couch. Lisa and Remus exchanged glances, and she stood up, going over to kneel next to it.

"Who... where..." mumbled Maximus Palmer, trying to sit up.

"You are inside an Order of the Phoenix safe house," Lisa said, helping him along the way and sitting next to him. "My name is Lisa Fawley, and Dumbledore sent us to check on you. What's the last thing you can remember?"

"I was just going to the kitchen for a snack... the alarm charms sounded off, so I messed the house, hoping they'd think someone already made me a visit, and hid. I didn't expect them to continue searching... they found me, dragged me out, tortured me..." His whole body shivered, and he lifted a trembling hand to cover his eyes.

"Mr. Palmer, we understand that this is something you would rather not relive, but we need you to tell us how much information about the Order you divulged," Remus said from the armchair.

"They didn't ask me about the Order," Palmer replied hoarsely. Lisa and Remus exchanged a surprised look. "They were asking about the goblins."

"The goblins?" Lisa echoed in confusion.

"I'm the Head of the Goblins Liaison Office at the Ministry. I suspected for a while now they would try to ask me about it, so I took a sabbatical. Laid low, hoping they would find it on their own, and told everyone I was vacationing in Costa Rica..."

"Is that why you hadn't left your house since Christmas?" Remus inquired, earning a look from the pair on the couch.

"Yes," Palmer admitted. "In case they were watching..."

"What did you tell them?" Lisa repeated.

The man shook his head and buried his face in his hands. "Everything," he muttered.

Remus and Lisa exchanged another confused look. What was going on?

Before they could ask any more questions, they heard the front door swing open. Remus shot to his feet, wand raised, but lowered it almost immediately when the purple robes of Albus Dumbledore swooshed around the corner.

"Is everyone unhurt?"

Lisa and Remus nodded.

"Nothing that wouldn't heal," Remus added. "I'm afraid Mr. Palmer's house would need a bit of work, however."

Palmer didn't even react to that, keeping his face stubbornly behind his fingers.

"Maximus," Dumbledore said, approaching. "How much did they get out of you?"

"The torture... it was too much. I... told them everything, Albus," the man admitted, finally looking up at the Headmaster.

"In that case, there is little time to lose. We must relocate the family immediately, before..."

"You know as well as I do they will never accept help from wizards," Palmer moaned despairingly. "And we are probably too late..."

"Maybe not," Remus called. "They only got the information less than three hours ago, and the men who have it are currently lying under the remnants of Mr. Palmer's roof. If we act quickly, we may get there before Voldemort."

"Alright," said Dumbledore, "here's what we're going to do. Maximus, you will stay here with Alastor until further arrangements can be made. This house is completely safe; no one will come looking for you here. I will go and take care of the goblins personally. Let us just hope I'm not too late."

"Er... Sir?" Lisa called after him when the old wizard made for the door. "And us?"

Dumbledore paused at the door and smiled. "You and Mr. Lupin will go back to Hogwarts and study for your N.E.W.T. exams," he said, his eyes twinkling. "That will be your mission until Graduation. Professor McGonagall had a few choice words with me about the importance of your education, and swore she would never forgive me if you fail your Transfiguration exam because you were fighting Death Eaters. The older members can take care of things for a few months."

And with that, the Headmaster left. Palmer asked for the loo and disappeared behind the brown door of Moody's bathroom.

"What do you think that was about?" Lisa asked aloud.

"We can't be full-time members while we're still in school." Remus shrugged, wincing a bit from the motion, and sank back into the armchair. "We aren't privy to everything the Order does."

"We've been a part of this for five months! That's almost half a year, surely he trusts us by now?"

"It's not about trust. Dumbledore only calls on us when he has no other choice, I'm sure you must've noticed this by now. You can't fight a war with only ten people, and he knows that. We'll become more active after Graduation. For now, we really should concentrate on exams."

"While Voldemort is raging outside?"

"We can't do anything about it. Just be patient."

She shot him an incensed look, and he chuckled, realizing the futility of the request. He got up and went to sit next to her, taking her hand in his. "Think of it as concentrating on the Death Eaters in Hogwarts for now. You can be a bit more active in the Defenders, perfect your shield charms... and spend some time with me, without having to duck to avoid a killing curse."

Lisa laughed despite herself and squeezed his hand back. "How do you always know exactly what to say?"

"It's a talent."

He smirked, and she kissed him.


	20. James can't keep his mouth shut

Lisa was walking back to Gryffindor Tower all by herself on Friday after her usual couple of hours in the Library, which felt strangely melancholy without Dorcas there. When she made a turn at the second floor corridor her eyes widened with alarm, spotting James leaning against the wall, clutching his bloodied side.

"What the hell happened?" Lisa asked urgently, rushing over.

He smirked weakly. "You should see the other guy." 

She rolled her eyes and threw his arm around her neck, dragging him into the first empty classroom. He limped over to a desk and sat on it with a painful groan as she realized her robes were wet with his warm blood. She took them off with a shudder and dropped her bag to the floor.

"What happened?" Lisa repeated, looking him over for injuries. There was a deep cut on his shoulder, a nasty-looking one on his ribs, and a rather small one on his cheek.

"I had a friendly encounter with Snape. He's been practicing his aim," James tried to say, but winced in pain when she touched his shoulder lightly.

Lisa sighed deeply. "Take your shirt off. Are you hurt somewhere else?" she asked, pulling out her wand.

"Nah, he aims high. Hoping to damage my incredibly good looks, I reckon," said James, undoing his buttons.

Lisa shook her head at his idiocy and clicked her tongue, helping him with the robes. He groaned again when he had to move his shoulder, and she couldn't help but think to herself ' _So that's what a non-scarred male chest looks like',_  before quickly returning to the task at hand. She chanted the healing spell, resolutely concentrating on healing and not comparing.

"We should put some dittany on that. Wouldn't want Lily to find a new, unexplained scar," she said, summoning a bottle with brownish liquid from her bag, and started applying some to his side. "Why'd you get into another cockfight with Snape? And where are the others?"

"Studying," he replied. Lisa raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Sirius is on a date. I was bored out of my skull, so I was just going to the kitchens," he added.

"You know Lily doesn't approve of this," she said, moving on to his shoulder.

"What she doesn't know can't hurt her." James shrugged, immediately flinching in pain.

"Stop moving!" Lisa scolded. "And you shouldn't be basing your relationship on moronic sayings like that. How do you expect her to trust you, if you can't keep one bloody promise?"

"But she'll get mad at me!"

"As she should! Stop hexing him just because he got in your line of vision!"

"And you reckon he'll just agree to a truce, so I don't look bad in front of Lily? I'll be a walking Inferius before the end of the week!"

Lisa laughed and moved on to his last injury. "And what are you gonna do when I'm  _not_  there to patch you up before she sees you?"

"Sneak into a broom cupboard and die."

Lisa pressed her thumb into his cut purposefully to make him wince, and they both laughed.

"Speaking of attacks," she said slowly, screwing the lid of the jar of dittany closed. Grim thoughts had been plaguing her for almost a month now, and she felt like if she didn't tell someone, she would burst. And she couldn't tell Remus about this, nor Dorcas. Only someone like James could understand what she had been going through. "Actually, I... wanted to talk to you about something. Certain things happened around Christmas and... it got me thinking. When you...  _found out_  about Remus... how long did it take you to... get used to it?"

He shot her an amused look, a lopsided grin blooming on his face. "Less than a year, at any rate." She didn't say anything, and his face grew worried. "Wait, are you  _still_  not over it?"

"No, I am... but... Look, I've been told all my life that werewolves are dangerous, disgusting,  _dark_  creatures. That they were evil, and violent, and vile, and  _soulless_... And when I learned... I didn't... I mean, I... You lot seem to have accepted him instantly, and I..." She trailed off and stared at the thin scars on his arm. James was silent for a while.

Lisa's sister was killed shortly after she found out Remus' secret, and she preferred to bury that brief window of time in the deepest corners of her mind. It wasn't something she liked to look back on, but the episode with the werewolves at Christmas brought that feeling right back. That fear, that revulsion. She tried telling herself it was because they were Death Eaters, but if she had to be honest with herself, she knew that wasn't it. She would not have found it revolting if a regular human had touched her, had  _looked_  at her, even if they were the enemy. But those men were victims of circumstance, she tried to tell herself again and again. Just people like her and James, people who had... a problem. Was she still prejudiced against werewolves? Was it only Remus she was okay with? What kind of person would that make her? She was looking at him as if he was the exception, as if he was different. But he wasn't.

"I think it was... different for you," James spoke finally. "By the time we found out, he had already been our best friend for over a year. We knew for a fact a big chunk of what we'd been told about werewolves was rubbish; we'd been  _living with him_. We would have noticed if he practiced Dark rituals or had uncontrollable fits of rage, or any of the other nonsense people say. On top of that, we were twelve. We had never seen him transformed, so I think in our heads we didn't truly understand what it all meant. We just thought it was  _cool_. Even after we became Animagi, it always seemed to us he was still just himself in a wolf body, like the rest of us. We never really thought about the fact that his mind becomes... warped, when he transforms. Until that night in sixth year when he came after you, we hadn't even seen him attack anyone. It was a shock for all of us."

"But you were there for him!" she exploded, and her eyes snapped to meet his. "You didn't avoid him, or jump at his touch; you stayed right there and helped him!" James was staring at her in bewilderment, and she felt her eyes water and looked at the ground. "I've never told anyone this before. He was too busy avoiding  _me_  at the time to notice, but I... couldn't even look him in the eyes for  _weeks_ ," she admitted quietly. "And when we would touch, even accidentally, I felt revulsion. I was  _disgusted by him_ , James."

And as she was standing in that empty classroom, fingers still stained with essence of dittany, Lisa was forced to confront her old feelings. Feelings she had, even if it was only for a few weeks, towards  _Remus_. The sweetest, kindest, most brilliant person on the planet, who expected to be met with hatred everywhere he went, and that was exactly what she had done. Right now, she felt disgusted with  _herself_.

"Sometimes I think..." she continued in a low voice, "that if it wasn't for Julie, I would've continued staying away from him. And that I never would've changed my mind about it, and we'd never—"

"I don't think that's true," he interrupted. "It would have taken longer, but you'd still... you'd come around. Eventually." She looked at him, wanting more than anything to believe in his words. "You and Moony... you were always going to end up together. Everyone knew it was only a matter of time," he said simply.

Lisa looked away again. "He deserves better than me. Someone who would accept him without hesitation."

James snorted and rolled his eyes, placing a warm hand on her shoulder. "Love is not about  _deserving_. That happened forever ago; you had a moment of weakness, but you got over it. Believe me when I tell you that even if you told him about it right now, he wouldn't hold it against you. And in my opinion, you're better for him than some air-headed twat that doesn't see that he  _could be_  dangerous. What, do you think he'd be better off with some starry-eyed dimwit like Piper Spudgen? If someone accepted him without hesitation, that'd just prove she's as empty headed as us at twelve."

Despite the tears that were threatening to fall, Lisa gave out a hearty laugh.

"Another person as stupid as you at twelve? Now  _that_  I find hard to believe."

* * *

oOo

That Sunday the Quidditch practice ran longer than usual. James was getting obsessed with winning the Cup in his final year, and he pushed the team harder than he ever had before. Lisa and Sirius discussed privately hexing him to force a few hours of bed rest, but he overheard and said that if anything happened to him, Eddie Cornhill would be temporary Captain. So that plan got scrapped.

When the Gryffindor team made it back to the common room an hour after sunset—James only relented when it was too dark to see anything—they found Lily and Remus chatting by the fire and working on their homework, with Peter sitting on the floor next to them.

"I've been looking everywhere for you!" Lily exclaimed angrily, staring daggers into James as the three Quidditch players sat down. "We had Head duties this afternoon!"

"Lily, can't this wait? I can't even see straight right now," Lisa said, sinking down into the couch next to Remus, shortly followed by a groaning Sirius. "Bite his head off tomorrow."

"Oh, but if she bit my head off, she wouldn't be able to kiss me. And she wouldn't like that, would she?" James smirked and bent down to her face, and for Lisa's surprise, she actually let him brush his lips against hers. Then he caught a hold of her hand and unceremoniously pulled her up, sliding down in her armchair.

Lily blinked in confusion once or twice, and then whirled around. "That's my spot!"

"Not anymore." James grinned.

"I have work to do, Potter!"

"I'm willing to share." He patted his lap. The others snickered, but Lily, not one to be intimidated, simply smirked slightly and plopped herself down on top of him, causing him to groan in pain. "Oi, watch it!"

"You offered to share. Or would you rather I found a different chair?"

"Over my dead body," James said, his arms encircling her waist immediately.

"That's what I thought." Lily grinned and bent over the table again, inking her quill.

Lisa chuckled, but she was so tired she could barely register the rest of the usual Potter-Evans banter. She leaned back into the couch and closed her eyes, as the noise of the common room grew distant and jumbled...

"Prongs, I think you might've killed Fawley," Sirius quipped, keeping his voice low as the girl next to him nodded off.

"She's been on the team for four years now. She  _knows_  we need to win," James said. "That's why she's not as whiny as you."

"To your face," Sirius murmured, causing Peter and Remus to shake with muffled sniggers. "You realize that if we die of exhaustion you'll have to face the Ravenclaws alone, ri—"

His speech was suddenly interrupted, when Lisa slid to the side and her head rested against his shoulder. For a moment he went completely rigid, then she wrapped an arm over his stomach.

"Mmmm... Remus," she mumbled in her sleep, and everyone tried to stifle their laughter again.

"I don't know if I should be flattered or insulted," Sirius said, but a smile was playing on his lips.

"I think the world as a whole would benefit if you were more like Remus," Lily quipped.

Remus didn't even try to hide his smirk.

"Speaking of Moony," James started, "How was your Christmas?"

Peter, Sirius and Lily threw him bewildered looks.

"Prongs, Christmas was over a month ago," Peter said.

"And isn't it interesting how he hasn't said a word about it yet?" James persisted, his eyes fixed on Remus.

Sirius moved his gaze to him as well. "Are you hiding something from us?"

Remus' eyes flickered to Lily for half a second before he calmly put his quill down and answered. "I was going to tell you, I just never got around to it. With Prongs and Padfoot going on and on about Lily, and then the thing with Dorcas, and the Order..."

"So what happened?" Sirius interrupted.

"My family was attacked. By...by Death Eaters."

The Marauders exchanged a look. Even if it was lost on Lily, the slight hesitation in his voice made it obvious to them those were not ordinary Death Eaters.

"They came to your house!?" Lily exclaimed. "Are you okay? Are your parents?"

"Everyone is fine. Lisa saw them coming and came to warn us. We got away, but now my parents are thinking of selling the cottage..."

A sad silence stretched over the group. The Marauders had spent many summer nights in Low Row, and they would all miss the cozy Lupin home.

"So these Death Eaters. What were they like?" James asked, earning weird glances from his friends again.

"What were they... like?" Remus echoed, confused.

"Yeah. What did they look like, how did they act?"

"Friends of yours?" Sirius threw in jokingly.

"I just want to know what impression they gave off," James said, trying to be causal.

"What impression? They were... they were  _Death Eaters_ , what impression do you  _think_  they gave off?!" Peter exclaimed, not noticing the dirty look Sirius threw him, or the slight twitching of Remus' hand.

"Well, they were... shabby," Remus said, eyes fixed on the parchment in front of him. "Their clothes were worn and dirty. None of them seemed to have a very high level of personal hygiene. And their hair..."

"Moony, I didn't ask for the  _Witch Weekly_  version. Stop describing their outfits and tell me what they were like," James interrupted.

"... Menacing. None of them seemed reluctant to be there. They... offered me to join them," Remus admitted quietly. "They all had these grins... as if they thought there was no way I would refuse them. They said I could... accomplish great things if I went with them."

The Marauders exchanged another look, but Lily only smiled sympathetically.

"Don't feel bad about this, Remus. I know what that's like. When Voldemort offered me to go over to his side, I felt genuinely disgusted. Just because they offer, it doesn't mean you would take them up on it. And let's face it, who  _wouldn't_  want you on their side?"

"So they didn't seem... like decent human beings who were just down on their luck?" James wanted to make sure.

His friend's eyes finally lifted from the table and met his.

"Is that what she thinks?"

Sirius, Peter and Lily were looking from one to the others in confusion.

"Remind me never to tell you anything ever again," a hoarse voice came from the couch, and Sirius looked down only to notice Lisa's eyes were wide open. She pushed herself up and sighed, running a hand through her messy hair.

"I wanted to know what had you so rattled," James said.

"You were rattled?" Remus turned to her, and she cursed James for not keeping his mouth shut.

"He's exaggerating."

"You were this close to tears, Fawley. I told you to just be honest with him," James said, and Lisa threw him an angry glare.

"So they repulsed you," Remus said evenly, making the Marauders very uncomfortable.

"That wasn't what I—"

"I think you've said enough, Prongs." The coldness in Remus' voice was so startling, Peter dropped his quill. "Is there something you want to tell me?" he turned to Lisa, and the casual tone he was using somehow made his words seem that much worse.

"Yes. That I know exactly what you're thinking, and that you're jumping to conclusions," Lisa said.

"I wouldn't have to jump to anything, if you had talked to me about it, instead of telling James."

James and Sirius exchanged an awkward look.

"Look, mate—"

"I think I'll finish this tomorrow," Remus said, standing up, rolling up his almost done homework, and heading up the stairs to the boys dormitory without another word.

Lisa groaned and buried her face in her hands. "Thanks a lot, James. Now I have to go and fix this mess, before he decides I find him revolting."

"Just because he was offered to join the Death Eaters?" Lily said. To her it seemed Remus was overreacting a bit.

"It's a sore spot for him," James threw in hastily. "Look, I just wanted to hear the whole story. It seems to me that you have nothing to feel bad for. The same rules apply to... Death Eaters, as they do to... purebloods. What you are doesn't define  _who_  you are. Think of it this way – not every pureblood is a blood-purist, but not all of them are pro-muggle. You can't assume that just because someone is a Death Eater they are necessarily victims of society."

"Death Eaters, victims of society?" Peter sniggered.

"Shut up Wormtail, it's a metaphor!"

"You suck at this, mate," Sirius joined in with Peter.

" _Point is_ , that those men were  _willingly_  on Voldemort's side, and that's all you need to know what kind of people they were. Blood status,  _or anything else_ , is irrelevant here. So I don't think you should feel guilty about... anything," James concluded.

"Well, as poetic as that was, I still have to go and sort this." Lisa sighed, getting up. "And next time I make the mistake to confide something in one of you, keep your traps  _closed_."

She made her way up the stairs and slowly turned the handle. Remus was on his knees next to his trunk, rummaging through it for something. She silently went over and sat on the floor next to him. He continued what he was doing without so much as a glance in her direction. Lisa sighed again.

"I was afraid I'd begun to see you as the exception to the rule," she began quietly. "That I had started to view you as some sort of 'domesticated' werewolf. I thought I was alright with the condition in general, and I didn't like the idea that I might still see other werewolves as something to be feared."

"So why didn't you talk to me about it?" he snapped, slamming the trunk closed. "Why am I learning this by proxy?"

"Because I thought you'd give me another speech about how werewolves  _are_  dangerous and how I should stay away from you!"

"So what, you thought  _James_  would somehow alleviate your fears?"

"Well, he did! He told me that those things don't matter! That I shouldn't feel bad for being afraid of them... like I was afraid of you."

Remus was startled into silence for a moment, and she used that to reach for his hand and keep it firmly in hers.

"Look, I'm not proud of it. I was stupid, and I'm sorry, but I did see reason once I did a bit of research, and I honestly  _do not_  mind it. I thought that feeling animosity towards the werewolves that attacked us in your house meant I was still prejudiced. But you know what, James is right. There are good people and there are bad people, and lycanthropy has nothing to do with it."

"You know that's not exactly true."

"It is. No matter how down on their luck they are, decent people wouldn't join Voldemort.  _You_  wouldn't join Voldemort."

"Maybe I would, if I was in their situation! They weren't even given a  _chance_! No education, no job prospects, being forced to live like muggle tramps..."

"You still wouldn't do it. You would rather dig into your own flesh than hurt others, and no matter how broke you were, or how bad things got for you, you would still refuse them. I'm sorry I didn't come to you first. I think my feelings for you have affected the way I look at things, so I've started seeing werewolves in black and white. And they aren't. Lycanthropy doesn't make you bad, but it doesn't make you  _good_  either. It's just...a condition. It doesn't define who a person is."

Remus sighed deeply and ran his free hand through his hair, but just as he opened his mouth to say something, she drew him close for a hug.

"You'll never know how much I regret being such a brat and believing all that rubbish about werewolves. But please,  _please_  don't think even for a second that I find you in any way revolting. Being close to you, touching you, kissing you, those things make me feel warm, and loved, and I wouldn't give it up for anything. Next time I'll come directly to you with any doubts I might have. I promise. Please don't be cross with me?"

Remus sighed again, but his arms coiled around her.

"Okay."


	21. Lisa's Idea of Romantic

Lisa woke up by an increasingly annoying clinking sound. Slowly opening her eyes with a disgruntled sigh, she looked around the dorm for the source. Lily, Alice and Marlene were all sleeping soundly in their beds, and a familiar owl was knocking on the window with its beak, surrounded by floating pink paper airplanes. Right, Lisa thought, today was Valentine's Day. She got up and opened the window for Frank's snowy owl, Aspen, which fluttered over to Alice and pecked her cheek gently. Most of the airplanes circled around Marlene, waiting for her to stir, and a rather large, tacky-looking red envelope that suspiciously resembled a Howler landed in top of Lily's face.

"What the hell?" the redhead said sleepily, removing it from her eyes.

"I'd open that if I were you," Lisa said, barely containing her laughter. "It looks like it's going to explode."

Lily threw her a can-you-believe-this kind of look, her fingers broke the wax seal, and James' voice boomed from the letter.

MEET ME ON THE QUIDDITCH PITCH TONIGHT

AND I WILL SHOW YOU AN INCREDIBLE SIGHT

PLEASE DON'T TAKE ME FOR A CREEP

I WON'T FLY OFF WITH YOU ON A CHEAP CLEANSWEEP

I DON'T NEED THE TRYOUTS TO BE ANY STEEPER

BECAUSE YOU LILY EVANS ARE A KEEPER

Marlene shot up in her bed abruptly, unwittingly getting hit in the eye by a paper plane. Alice was stroking Aspen soothingly, and Lisa was practically rolling on the floor.

"Horrible poetry, check! Lots of Quidditch analogies, check!" she said in between giggles. "That was James Potter's Valentine all right."

"Sounds like he's got something big planned." Marlene smiled at Lily. "What do you suppose it is?"

"Knowing James, he'll probably be waiting for her naked in the locker rooms with a big red bow on his chest." Lisa guffawed, doubling over as her sides almost split with laughter.

"He wouldn't..." Lily said hesitantly, and Lisa threw her a skeptical look, sending all of the girls into a fit of giggles.

"Jacob, Mike, Edward, Tyler," Marlene was listing, going through her planes. "No one decent sent me a Valentine this year!"

"What did Frank send you, Alice?" Lily asked while Lisa was still rolling on the bed with laughter.

"Oh, it's just a Valentine card. Nothing as fancy as a poem." The brunette blushed and untied the small posy of snowdrops from Aspen's leg.

"Aw," Marlene sighed. "He's so sweet. I'd prefer that to a bombastic declaration of love. Which is what, the two hundred and eightieth?"

"He wouldn't be James if he wasn't as showy as possible," Lily said, but her mouth was twitching into a smile. "What did you get, Lisa?"

"Me?" The blonde composed herself. "I didn't get anything. Remus really isn't one for  _sweeping_  romantic gestures." She giggled again.

"Not even a card?" Alice asked gently.

"Oh, I wouldn't be surprised if he forgot." Lisa waved dismissively. Her three dorm mates exchanged glances. "It's not a big deal, really," she reassured them. "With Remus it kind of... feels like Valentine's every day," she admitted quietly and blushed at the collective ' _awwww_ '.

* * *

oOo

"Hi," Lisa greeted, sitting down in a chair next to Remus in the Library and planting a kiss on his cheek.

"Hey," he replied absentmindedly, not even looking up from the book he was translating.

"They assigned this weeks ago!" she exclaimed, peering at the title. "And you're still not done? It's due on Thursday!"

"I know," he replied tightly. "It's just that with everything happening with the Order and the werewolves and you... I kind of forgot about it."

She stared at him in surprise.  _Remus Lupin_  forgot about a huge assignment? What was the world coming to? Suddenly, Sirius stormed over to them, crashed down into the nearest chair and pulled the book form under Remus' hands, hiding behind its thick cover. Remus tried to protest, but his friend only shushed him as three of them heard a loud giggle.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are," a singsong voice sounded somewhere close by. Sirius sunk even lower into the chair.

Lisa picked herself up slightly and spotted a girl, sneaking around about two bookshelves away, giggling all the way.

" _Obscuro!_ " she whispered, lifting her wand to the girl's back.

A black blindfold appeared over her eyes and she started panicking and knocking into the shelves. It wasn't long before Madam Pince swooped down on her from the right and promptly kicked her out of the Library.

"You're a lifesaver," Sirius said gratefully as Remus snatched his book back from him. "She was following me for three floors."

"You're welcome," Lisa said. "What was she chasing you for?"

"You know, the usual." He smirked, reclining his chair back so it stood on its hind legs. "Wanted to whine a date out of me. Bloody birds have been chasing me around all day."

"So you came where no one would ever look for you?" Remus quipped, dipping his quill in the inkwell anew.

"Precisely!" Sirius agreed, happy his friend caught on to his brilliant plan so quickly. "With Prongs fussing over the Lily thing, I have no one to watch my back and warn me if they're coming."

"I heard his poem. Very dramatic." Lisa laughed at the memory. "Dare I ask what he's gonna do?"

"He swore us to secrecy." Sirius shrugged. "Can't risk it getting out and 'spoiling the surprise'."

"Just tell me it doesn't involve his naked body and ribbons?" she said, making him chuckle.

At that point, a pink paper swan flew into the Library and landed on Lisa's head.

"Is that another one for you?" she turned to Sirius, but he just shrugged disinterestedly. She unfolded it, only to find a single daisy in the folds and smoothed the parchment to read it. " _Dear Lisa, I thought about sending you sweets, but after what happened with Dorcas Meadowes last year, I figured you'd just chuck them in the rubbish. Happy Valentine's Day, Adrian_. Oh, so it's from Fleet. How sweet," she said, picking up the daisy.

Remus shot up from the book and stared at the flower as if it just told him his house caught on fire. "That's today?" he asked hoarsely.

"It's okay, I figured you'd forgotten." Lisa laughed lightly.

"Mate," Sirius threw in, half in disbelief and half in amusement, "the only Valentine your girlfriend got is from  _Fleet_?"

Remus groaned and buried his face in his hands. "It completely slipped my mind. Lisa, I'm so sorry..."

"It's fine, really," she reassured him, mussing his hair playfully. "I don't need poems and flowers and grand romantic gestures. And here, you can copy my translation. I had it done weeks ago," she added, pulling a rolled parchment from her bag.

"Fawley... marry me," Sirius said sincerely, and she rolled her eyes. "You can have Moony as a secret lover, and you'll chase out any birds that overstay their welcome in the morning, then make me pancakes. It's the perfect plan!"

"Only one hitch in your brilliant plan, Padfoot." Lisa laughed. "I can't cook."

"Fine, whatever, we'll order take away. So you're in?"

"I'm not living on take away my entire life, you cheapskate! Hire a maid!" She threw Adrian's valentine at his head. Sirius barked a laugh and thumbed backwards to the floor, along with his chair.

"I will make this up to you," Remus said firmly, ignoring his friend's antics. "And take your translation. I'll get it done myself by tomorrow."

"You can't translate 157 pages in one day!" Lisa exclaimed.

"Tomorrow," he repeated adamantly. "And then I'll make it up to you somehow."

"You really don't have to," she said, but his eyes turned determinately towards the book and he seemed to block out anything more.

* * *

oOo

Thankfully, James' plans for Lily didn't involve nudity. He gave her a ride on his broom—not a Cleensweep, but a shiny new Nimbus 1000—all the way to the Astronomy Tower, where he had set up a romantic dinner. Lisa had to give him more credit in the future — the bloke actually knew something of romance.

She of course had been perfectly honest when she claimed she didn't need such things from Remus. She truly couldn't imagine how Valentine's Day would be different from any other day with him. After all, he was attentive and sweet all year round. Plus, if she ever needed chocolate, he always had some on him and was willing to share. So how was that one day a year supposed to be special?

Nevertheless, she couldn't help but giggle a little as he was leading her blindfolded down the seventh floor corridor on Wednesday.

"If I trip and break my nose, I will kill you." She laughed, feeling like a child.

"You think I would let you fall?" he asked in mock-offense. "Alright, we're here. It's behind this door; I guarantee you'll love it."

"Well? Aren't you going to take off the blindfold?"

"Inside," he whispered in her ear, suddenly behind her.

His hands rested at her waist and he gently pushed her forward. Lisa stumbled with outstretched hands, feeling her way down the wooden surface to the doorknob. She laughed again, having no idea what to expect. The two of them entered, and she could hear a fire crackling in the room and feel something soft beneath her feet. A carpet? Where were they?

"Odd," he muttered under his breath.

"What's odd? Did you take me to the wrong place?"

He was quiet for a second. "No, this is it..."

"Will you take this blasted thing off my face already?" she demanded, and he complied hesitantly. She heard him close the door behind them as her eyelids fluttered open and she turned to stare at him in surprise. They were standing in the den of the Lupins' cottage. "Did you... is this... a  _teleporter_?" she asked in confusion. But that was impossible; nothing could just take them out of Hogwarts, there were a million spells at work!

"Not really..." he drawled, looking around curiously. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but this looks like my house."

"Isn't it?"

"I suppose it is..."

"Remus, where the hell are we?"

"It's called the Room of Requirement. It changes to suit the needs of the person that wants to enter it. I thought if I blindfolded you, it would become whatever you wanted it to be..." His eyes darted to his bookshelf along the south wall and the record player in the corner. "I'm not sure it worked though... is this where you want to be?"

She blushed like mad. "I-I guess... I mean I  _might_  have been thinking about it... and, um..." The words caught in her throat. She must seem so pathetic right now, admitting the most romantic place she could think of was his den.

He smiled warmly at her and stretched out his hand. "Shall we sit, then?"

She nodded and took it, and he led her to the fireplace where they sat on the soft rug.  "The Room can't create food, so I had to bring our own," he explained pulling a shrunken package of sweets from his pocket and returning them to their original size, then offering her a box of Sugared Butterfly Wings. "They're not poisoned, I checked."

 Lisa laughed and relaxed a little. "How did you even find this place?" she asked, looking around.

"When you're friends with James and Sirius, you tend to spend the better part of your stay in Hogwarts roaming the corridors at night." He smiled fondly.

"You know, before we started dating, I never would have guessed you were the mastermind behind so many Marauder pranks. I always got the impression you didn't really approve of those."

Remus laughed. "James and Sirius have a way of... infecting you with their excitement. I suppose they just rubbed off on me." He put an arm around her, and she snuggled comfortably against him. "You sure you don't want me to try to write you a poem?" he asked, staring into the fire.

"Well, if you did, let's at least hope you're be better at it than James." She giggled.

"A Kneazle would be better at it than James."

"True, true. But it was still cute in a way, if you tilt your head and sort of squint at it." Remus chuckled, and the sound reverberated pleasantly against Lisa's back. "I wasn't just saying it, you know. About not caring for this sort of thing. You didn't have to go through all this trouble."

"It wasn't any trouble at all. I already knew the Room existed, all I had to do was procure the food."

"So minimal effort after all, eh? I guess you and Sirius really aren't all that different," she teased. "If he ever managed to keep a girl long enough to be his Valentine, he'd probably be just as lazy about it."

"... You really should stop doing that," Remus muttered quietly with a slight frown.

"Doing what?"

"... Forget it. It's nothing."

"No, it isn't! What am I doing? Tell me."

"You... keep comparing me to Sirius. And to James."

She gaped at him. "What? I do not!"

"Yes, you do. A lot, actually."

She was just looking at him in shock. What was he talking about? She didn't compare them that much! Right? There was only that time she told him Sirius didn't have his problem with privacy. Or that one time Remus dropped his books and she said James could teach him a thing or two about reflexes. Or when he scolded her for pranking Eddie Cornhill and she said Sirius would be laughing his arse off...

"Okay, maybe I do mention them a little, but you're around them all the time, I can't help but notice..."

"You seem to notice them more than you notice me."

"What? No! They're just... different."

"And by different, you mean not as boring."

"No, I..." Why was this going so wrong? Was it because of the moon? "What day of the cycle is it?" she asked, and he pulled his arm away.

"I'm not affected by the moon every time I'm angry!" he snapped.

She stared at him like a deer in headlights. "That's not what I... I mean, I know that, but I can't help noticing Sirius and James, they are my friends too, and I'm not  _blind_..."

That came out wrong.

The color instantly drained from Remus' face.

"What I'm saying is, that I can't  _not_  notice them and well, yes, they are a bit less  _uptight_  than you are, but come on, James is in love with Lily and Sirius can't keep a steady girlfriend..." she said anxiously, trying to make it better, but she was only digging herself in deeper.

"So I was the last option left?" he said quietly.

Lisa was taken aback so much she couldn't think of a response for several seconds. "H-huh? Of course not!" she managed to mumble, but he was already out the door.

Lisa face-palmed painfully. What the hell just happened?

* * *

oOo

Remus was irritable and moody the next day. The Marauders knew something must've gone wrong at the date he had planned with Lisa, but when they asked, he only said sharply that everything was fine, so they exchanged glances and dropped it.

"Oh Remus, I'm so glad I found you!" Piper Spudgen cried, running towards the four friends as they were heading to the Gryffindor Tower after Arithmancy. "I need help, I was brewing this potion and it started to overflow and I don't know how to stop it!"

"Alright, calm down," Remus said. "We'll find a teacher and—"

"No, you can't tell anyone! If Slughorn finds out I was in the classroom without permission, he'll kill me!" she shrieked and pulled on his sleeve urgently.

"Well, sounds like you better go and help, Moony." Sirius clapped his shoulder with a mischievous grin. "Only your incredible cleaning skills can save her now."

James and Peter snickered, and Remus threw both of them a glare, but allowed himself to be dragged down into the dungeons after Piper. When they arrived, however, the room was spotless and there was no cauldron in sight, overflowing or otherwise. Remus turned around to give the brunette a questioning look.

"I'm sorry, I lied a little," she admitted timidly. "I have a present for you and I sort of wanted... to give it to you privately."

She held out a white cardboard box. Remus didn't like this one bit, but he took it tentatively.

"Thank you," he said, trying to be polite, and lifted the lid. Inside was a yellow silk scarf with a pink  **L**  on one end. He wouldn't be caught dead wearing such a gaudy thing.

"Here, let me see how it looks," she said and placed the scarf around his neck, her hands lingering on it for a few moments.

She looked up at him with those big dark-brown eyes and he felt something stir in the pit of his stomach. Blood rushed in his head and his heartbeat echoed painfully in his ears.

_THUMP_

Her lips were red.

_THUMP_

Her body was just a breath away.

_THUMP_

The skin under her shirt was warm beneath his fingers.

_THUMP_

She tasted like cinnamon.


	22. Don't cry

Lisa sat in her bed, tapping the cover of the green notebook impatiently. She sent Dorcas a message yesterday, but she hadn't replied yet.

**_I'm here. What is it?_ **

_I had a fight with Remus._

**_What happened?_ **

_Well, you know Valentine's Day was on Tuesday, but he was busy and forgot about it. So he tried to make it up to me by taking me on this romantic date, and it was good and all, until I mentioned James and Sirius and he said I compare him to them too much. And, well, it kind of grew into an argument and he stormed off._

**_Do you compare them too much?_ **

_So what if I do? That's not a bad thing, right? They are different, and I just notice that._

**_So you don't want him to be more like them sometimes?_ **

Lisa stared at the words. Did she?

_Yes, okay, maybe I would like him to be a little more carefree like Sirius and James, but what of it? That doesn't mean I'd prefer any of those dunderheads over him! What's the big deal?_

**_It's not a big deal to you, but maybe it is to him. No one likes being compared to others, especially if those others are his best mates._ **

_But if I still prefer him, why does that matter?_

**_Look, sometimes... it's hard being friends with people that are so much... better off than you. Think about it from his point of view. He's a private person, isn't shy, but likes to keep to himself, and I'm sure you'll disagree, but to the rest of the world he's neither incredibly handsome nor overly charming. If he weren't friends with James and Sirius, do you think anyone in the school would even know his name?_ **

_He IS charming! And he doesn't care about that. They are his_ _best friends_ _, he would throw himself into a burning building for them!_

**_But consider how he must feel next to them sometimes. They're both purebloods, talented, funny, handsome, rich, popular. People are tripping over themselves just to be the butt of their jokes. Compared to them, Lupin and Pettigrew are just decoration. I'm not saying he wants to feel this way, or that he acts on those feelings. You can care a lot about someone and still be... a bit resentful._ **

_Cass, we're talking over a notebook and I can tell there's something wrong with your tone of voice._

**_Look, sometimes... I resent you. A little bit._ **

_What?! What did I ev_

**_Before you blow off, let me explain. I know you never asked for it, but you can't deny you have certain privileges. You get away with everything in Slughorn's class, you're part of his private club, he takes your side on everything, you get to meet powerful and influential people... You can have any job you want after Hogwarts, and your family is so rich you don't even need to get one. You're my best friend and I would jump into the fire for you too, but... I can't really help it sometimes._ **

_Why didn't you ever say anything?_

**_What's the point? You aren't doing in on purpose. Since I'm on a roll with confessions here, I started flirting with guys and going on so many dates kind of as a response to that. I wanted to be better than you in something, and my looks were the only things I had._ **

_You're better than me in a lot of other things._

**_I meant better in other people's eyes. I wanted the recognition you didn't even have to work for. But none of that affects our friendship in any way, I promise. I'm just saying... I can relate to what Lupin's going through. It's not easy being second fiddle, especially to someone you care about._ **

* * *

oOo

Lisa walked down into the common room and headed straight to the Marauders' table.

"Where's Remus?" she asked as James and Sirius stopped throwing pieces of parchment at Peter.

"The dungeons. Piper roped him into helping her with some potion or something," Sirius said nonchalantly.

"You know how he has a hard time saying 'no'," James added. "He's been kinda gloomy lately. Did you get into a fight?"

Lisa sighed but nodded shortly. "Yeah. I'm off to apologize, actually. I suppose I took some things too lightly, and it got to him. See you lot later."

She turned around, climbed out of the portrait hole and headed to the dungeons. Her fingers ran over the smooth beige cover of the book she carried in her hands. The small volume was a present from Dorcas,  _ **The 100 Sonnets of Pablo Neruda**_. He was a favorite poet of both her and Remus, and after rummaging through her trunk for a suitable peace offering, her eyes laid on it for only a second and she knew. Giving away a book from her personal collection was something she had never done before. She knew it was silly, but it felt a little as if she were giving away a piece of herself. But then again, she thought with a smile, it wouldn't be going very far. Remus was a part of her as well.

When she approached the dungeons, Lisa heard muffled moaning coming from the classroom. She hesitated. Was someone else in there? The door was slightly ajar, and she couldn't help herself.

Piper was perched on top of a desk, her shirt unbuttoned and her back arching into the body of a tall bloke with light brown hair and a golden scarf on his shoulders. His hands were roaming her bare back, and he was kissing her neck.

"I bet you do those kinds of things with your girlfriend all the time," she said in a raspy whisper and gasped when his hand slid between her legs.

"I haven't even touched her yet. All we do in my bed is sleep," he replied, and Lisa felt her blood run cold.

_No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no._

"The whole school is abuzz that you're shagging like rabbits," she murmured against his mouth.

"We aren't," he replied shortly.

That wasn't him. That was  _definitely_  not him. Remus would not cheat. He wouldn't even copy homework. It was a trick. It was. Lisa wanted to break away, to run down the corridor and find the real him, but her legs felt heavier than lead.

_Thump._

The book slipped from her weak fingers, and the sound snapped her back to her senses.

"What was that?" he said suddenly and started to turn around.

Lisa stumbled backwards, tripped in the book and finally tore down the corridor.

She ran straight up to Gryffindor Tower and into the dormitory, slamming the door behind herself. The room was empty. She slid down to the floor and hugged her knees, fighting the urge to break down into tears.  _Think logically_. Remus would not hurt her like that. Not ever.  _Unless I really am not attractive enough..._  No, that wasn't it. He wasn't this shallow. He was given love potion.  _Except he wouldn't be stupid enough to drink anything she gave him_. Then she tricked him somehow!  _How?_

_Knock knock._

"Hey, whoever is inside, open up! I forgot my Charms essay in there!" came Lily's voice from the other side, making Lisa jump to her feet.

She knew she could charm the door in such a way even McGonagall would have trouble bursting in, but she shared this room with three other people. She had to open it eventually.

"Sorry," Lisa said hastily, swinging the door open. "I uh..." She couldn't think of an excuse. "I have to go."

Her voice broke on the last word, but she hurried past Lily before the questions could rain down. She ran and ran along the corridor, without even knowing where she was going. And then she came across the worst possible person.

"Lisa?"

She froze, desperately trying to compose herself. "Hi Piper. How're you doing?"

"Hey, um... I wanted to talk to you about something."

_Calm. Stay calm._

"Yes, what is it?"

"Um..." The brunette hesitated, trying to fix her messy hair. "Look, I know you saw us... down in the dungeons."

_Don't cry._

"We've... sort of been at it for the last week or so..." Piper said. "He wanted to tell you, but said he always chickened out at the last moment..."

_She's lying._

"I'm really sorry you had to find out this way... he went looking for you after you ran off... Did he find you?"

"No," Lisa replied, determinately keeping her voice even. "I'll let you know when he does. If you'll excuse me..."

She walked with slow, deliberate steps, keeping her chin up and her posture straight in the best Dorcas imitation she was capable of. Piper didn't follow—thank Merlin—and as soon as she was out of sight, Lisa ducked into the first broom cupboard she came across. Locking and muffling it quickly, she started hyperventilating.  _Calm down. Calm down._  She took three deep breaths. Her hands were shaking. She leaned back against the door again, and her legs just buckled under her weight. This couldn't be what it seemed. It was a trick of some sort, she was certain of it! It wouldn't be the first time Death Eaters impersonated someone.  _But why would the Death Eaters want to break us up?_ Maybe it was just Snape then. Because she made Lily drop any plans of reconciliation.  _But how would he know Remus hasn't touched me?_  He guessed!  _The whole school thinks we're shagging. Even the Marauders._  Dorcas knew.  _But she wouldn't tell._  Wouldn't she?  _No._ So what then!? He just woke up one morning and decided he was tired of her?  _It probably wasn't instantaneous..._ Lisa buried her hands in her hair and shook her head violently. No! Remus wasn't that kind of person. And he loved her!  _Does he?_  Yes!  _He can't even say what exactly he likes about me._ She drew her legs tightly to her chest.  _Feelings can change. If it's only a feeling..._

Suddenly she heard rushed footsteps down the corridor. They stopped right on the other side of the door, and the handle turned. Someone was panting heavily. Then they knocked lightly.

"Lisa. It's me. Can we talk?"

She froze. How did he find her? The sound of his voice crashed all her mental barriers, and tears threatened to overflow. When she didn't respond, he sighed heavily.

"I know you're in there. Please. Just open it."

She bit down on her lip to keep herself from crying. No matter what, she couldn't let him see her like that.

"I don't know what to do. I need you. Please come out."

She had to fight the urge to burst out of the cupboard and bury her face in his robes. And he would hug her and caress her head comfortingly, with those same hands that slid between Piper's legs. She shuddered in disgust.

Neither of them spoke for a long time. Or maybe it was only a couple of seconds. She couldn't tell. She knew she had to leave this cupboard eventually. Lisa leaned her head back against the door and tried to think of how to deal with this.  _What would Dorcas do?_  Blow him to smithereens.  _Provided she didn't have a wand?_  She would... she would break up with him before he had the chance to do it to her. Take the exit first, so you can save whatever shambling of dignity you have, that was what she always said. But Lisa couldn't break up with Remus! She loved him, they would make it work...

She heard him sigh heavily again and sink down against the door.

"I kissed Piper," he said in a low, strained voice. "Actually I did a bit more than kissing."

_Oh no. No, no, no. He was breaking up with her._

"I just... I had to tell you. I don't know what came over me, one second I was—"

The door swung open. Remus looked up to see her standing in the frame, face hard and jaw clenched so tightly it hurt. He scrambled to his feet, and she got out of the cupboard.

"That wasn't you," she said, searching his eyes desperately for confirmation. There was none. "Or she charmed you. Did you drink anything she gave you? Did she pull out her wand on you?"

He only stared at her silently. How easy it would be to blame it on Piper! To grasp at  _any_  of the straws he was given. Lisa had already come up with the excuses; all he had to do was agree to any one of them. And lie.

"Lisa," he said, reaching out a hand to her face. The same hand she saw slide up Piper's skirt.

"Don't touch me!" Lisa shrieked and jerked away. She stared into his pained green eyes, and could see how much it hurt him.

Suddenly, the second worse person who could have possibly found them ran down the corridor and flung himself between them. Remus stared with startled eyes at Adrian Fleet, who was glaring at him, shielding Lisa from his view. His outstretched hand fell back to his side.

"I'm sorry," he said to her, and he meant every word. Merlin, did he mean it. She nodded at the ground.

"You alright?" Fleet asked her.

"No," she replied quietly.

Adrian turned around and really looked at her, noticing she was on the brink of tears. "Come on. I'll take you to the common room," he offered softly, and she nodded again. With one last glare towards Remus, Adrian wrapped an arm protectively around Lisa and slowly led her down the corridor.

* * *

oOo

Lisa sat on her bed, curtains drawn. The green notebook was in her lap, but she didn't know what to write. She didn't even know what she felt. She asked him desperately to give her an excuse, anything at all and she would have accepted it, but he didn't. He only looked at her in that sad way, but all it did was confirm he did it.

She heard footsteps and the other girls entered the dorm.

Someone neared her bed, but a low voice whispered, "Don't. Leave her alone for now."

The girls huddled over on Alice's bed, which was next to Lisa's, and one of them asked in a hushed voice, "What did James say about it?"

"He... didn't seem happy, but said Remus was his friend first. He doesn't want to take sides."

"Sides?! He cheated!"

"He seems really torn up about it though..."

"Oh, wake up, Alice! If Frank cheated, would you forgive him, because he  _felt bad_  about it?"

"Keep your voice down, Mar! She'll hear you!"

"Maybe she should! I'm surprised she hasn't given him an earful by now!"

"She's dealing with it her own way. Just let her process it... first Dorcas, and now this... she must be an emotional wreck."

Lisa couldn't take any more of this. She flung her curtains open, grabbed her broom and flew out the window and into the pouring rain before anyone could even blink. She needed to get away from it all, away frоm everyone and everything. She didn't care if the rain was cold, or that she couldn't see anything as her tears were mixing with it. Marlene had a point — usually her gut response would've been to get angry. If this was happening to one of her friends, she'd be giving the bloke one hell of an earful.

But it wasn't.

It was happening to  _her_.

The last thing she ever thought would happen to her.

And she didn't feel anger. She felt only hollow, and sad, and betrayed. All she could think about was him, and his arms around her, and the way he whispered her name, and the mischievous flame in his eyes when he teased her, and oh, how good and  _right_  it felt to lie next to him in his bed... Was it really all over? She couldn't bring herself to say it.


	23. After

Sirius rushed into the Library and spotted Lisa immediately. She was writing something on a long piece of parchment, but her eyes seemed reddened and she sniffled from time to time.

"Hey," he greeted gently, sitting down next to her.

"Sirius." She jumped. "Hi. What're  _you_  doing in the Library?" she tried to quip, but it didn't really work.

He stared at her with sympathy, before taking her free hand in both of his. "I gave him hell for it, if it makes you feel any better. I never thought I'd see the day when Remus Lupin would be a bigger scumbag than me."

She managed a weak smile. "I don't want you to fight because of me. As James said, you were friends with him first."

"James can shove it. Friendship isn't measured in years. And what kind of friend would I be, if I didn't let Moony have it when he's being an arse? Merlin knows  _he_ 's never saved me a scolding."

"Even so, he's still your best mate."

He looked at her for a long minute and squeezed her hand. "He is. But you stood by me, when many others would have turned on me or never trusted me again. I don't forget things like that."

Her eyes filled with tears again, and he drew her into a tight hug. She sobbed quietly into his arms, and he was firm and comforting around her. But still she longed to be surrounded by a longer, skinnier set of arms and to feel a different set of lips kiss her forehead and murmur soothing words into her ear.

* * *

oOo

Walking out of Charms on Tuesday, Remus almost bumped into Piper Spudgen, waiting outside the classroom.

"Hi," she said with a coy smile, and he had to try very hard not to scowl at her. "You, er... forgot this in the dungeons." She held up the awful yellow scarf to him and he felt a little sick.

"Thank you," he managed to say and stuffed the horrible thing in his bag, anxious not to be touching it.

At that moment Lisa exited the room, engulfed in a conversation about the outrageous amount of homework Flitwick gave them with Marlene McKinnon. She passed by without even noticing him, though Marlene gave him an angry glare. He stared after them, feeling as if someone had ripped the heart out of his chest and fed it to hungry hippogriffs.

"So I was thinking..." Piper continued, completely oblivious to his anguish, "I have free period on Friday afternoon... we could—"

"No, we can't," Remus cut her off sharply. She stared back at him, startled at his rough response, and he had to remind himself it wasn't her fault he was a completely worthless waste of space. "Look, Piper... what happened down in the dungeons was a mistake. We are  _not_  dating, and we are not doing it again."

"B-but... you're unattached now and... and I just thought..."

Heavy guilt added itself to the list of horrible emotions Remus could feel simultaneously. How could he have led this girl on for so long? He was too much of a coward to tell her outright he wasn't interested, and that's exactly what got him into this mess.

"Piper, I'm sure you'll make some lucky guy really happy one day, but it won't be me. I just... don't feel the same way about you, and I would appreciate it if you kept your distance from me for the time being."

And with that, he turned around and left her there, briskly heading to his next class, the ball of guilt in his stomach intensifying considerably.

* * *

oOo

On Thursday, Lisa had no choice but to check into the Hospital Wing, because she caught a nasty cold after that escapade in the rain. She sat in her bed, a Pepper-up potion still warm in her belly, and read  ** _Why I Didn't Die When the Augurey Cried,_** a Christmas gift from Frank she hadn't gotten around to finishing yet. As she turned the page, a small piece of parchment fell out from between the pages. She lifted it up to the light to inspect it curiously and immediately felt as if the wind had been knocked out of her. Remus' neat handwriting was etched on the paper. ' _I love you'_. She read the words with his voice in her head and immediately had to bite back tears.

Just as she was about to lose that battle, the doors of the ward flew open, and Adrian Fleet walked in with a cheery spring in his step.

"You feeling better?" he greeted her with a wide smile.

"Yeah, a bit. Madam Pomfrey says I can go back to the dorm in two days," she replied and even smiled back a little, trying desperately to hide the fresh wound bleeding from her heart.

"That's good to hear," he said, presenting her with a bouquet of white irises he was hiding behind his back.

She took it and smiled genuinely this time, sniffing the sweet candy-like scent. "Thank you. Those will certainly brighten things up in here."

"So, you'll be up and about for practice on Sunday?"

"Oh, so  _that's_  why you popped in to see me? You Quidditch players are all alike," Lisa quipped, surprised at how easily it came to her. She hadn't joked in days.

Adrian kept visiting her every day. They talked about how the Defenders were doing and who pulled what prank in the castle, but she had to bite the inside of her cheek every so often to keep from asking about Remus. And Piper. Adrian avoided the subject like the plague, but he made her laugh and occupied her with more pleasant things.

His efforts to cheer her up didn't wane even after she was back. On the Quidditch practice on Sunday he made it a point to do silly pirouettes whenever she looked his way and wouldn't stop goofing off on the ground either. James and Sirius were giving him pointed looks, but he didn't seem to notice. After practice, he barely waited for her to leave her broom and take a shower, before suggesting they go down to the kitchen for some sweets. She was aware Remus was looking, but resolutely kept her eyes away and simply nodded, allowing his hand to take hers, helping her climb out the portrait hole. He didn't let go after that, and she pretended not to notice. Adrian was nice. They had a lot in common. He was good looking, athletic. He looked out for her. So why did holding his hand feel so wrong?

The house elves were as enthusiastic as ever to see them, and quickly piled all kinds of treats on the one of the tables. Lisa and Adrian sat and talked; at one point he even made her laugh so hard she almost choked. If she could only bring herself to like him... Dorcas told her she needed a rebound. Someone to take her mind off it. She also said that if she weren't under cover, Remus would be nursing some  _very_  heavy injuries right now. He was probably with Piper already. Lisa really had no idea how long he'd wait, because she avoided him whenever she could, and everyone else had the good sense not to mention him. Sometimes she thought she should do what Marlene suggested and just yell at him, hex him, get angry. But she knew that if he only looked at her with those beautiful, pleading eyes, she'd break and run into his arms. Oh, his arms...

After an hour or so, Adrian suggested going back. She nodded, thanked the house elves—earning an odd look from him—and stuffed some pastries in their pockets. On the way back, he took her hand again. She didn't pull away, but between the banter and jokes, she thought of how to tell him to back off gently. Just as she was pondering over it, he stopped walking, their linked hands hovering in the space between them. She gave him a puzzled look, and he approached, slowly putting a hand on her cheek. He was about to kiss her, she realized. Should she stop him? He was leaning in slowly, giving her the option. Should she back away? She owed Remus nothing now, and  _he_  didn't even have the decency of waiting to break up with her before he went snogging other girls!

So she let Adrian's lips brush against hers, and immediately one single thing resounded in her mind.

_NO._

She pushed his chest back gently. "It's only been a week."

He sighed but nodded. "Sure. Of course. You know I'll be here for you, whenever you're ready. For whatever you need."

Lisa nodded too, and they continued on their way. Even if she wanted to, she just couldn't put into words why this wouldn't work out. There was just something missing inside her since that day, something essential she could not quite place. She laughed, but it was hollow. She smiled, but it was forced. There was an emptiness inside her where that missing thing was, and Adrian just couldn't fill it. He felt... he felt  _foreign_  to her _._  She realized that sounded silly, but with Remus, everything was so effortless... they fit against each other like two puzzle pieces, and every time he touched her, it felt natural, like he was just an extension of her own self. She missed him so much.

* * *

oOo

That small rejection did not deter Adrian in the slightest, and he continued to demonstrate his intentions towards Lisa in plain sight of everyone. On Tuesday, she and Lily were quietly revising their Ancient Runes in the common room when he entered, hair wild and windblown and breath heavy from running. He spotted them and immediately rushed over to sit at their table.

"Hey Lisa," Adrian greeted cheerfully. "I got these for you. You said you've never tried them so..." He smiled sheepishly, handing her a buzzing packet of Lemon Bees.

"Thanks, Adrian." Lisa forced a smile on her face as Lily pretended to be engulfed in her textbook.

His whole face lit up. and his hand covered hers as he prattled off about Hogsmeade and candy. Lisa didn't pull away, and Lily frowned at their connected hands before shooting a quick look at the corner of the common room, where Remus was working on some homework by himself. He was looking at the parchment in front of him very intently, but his quill hand was still. Then his eyes moved slowly to the two Gryffindor Chasers. For only a second the mask slipped, and he looked as if someone had silently sent a Crucio at his back. Lily's heart trembled with sympathy.

"You shouldn't do that so casually," the redhead said quietly when Adrian finally left them alone.

"Shouldn't do what?" Lisa asked.

"Shouldn't hurt him like that."

Lisa turned left carefully to sneak a look at her ex-boyfriend, who was writing something, completely unaware she was even in the room. "He doesn't look too bothered," she said, returning to her book. She didn't know if that was a good thing or not.

"Of course he doesn't look it. But he is," Lily said gently.

This whole thing was just so bizarre. Lily and Remus had been friends for seven years, and she thought she knew him well, but she would never have believed he cheated if he hadn't confirmed it himself. Still, she could tell he was hurting, and he was much better at hiding it than Lisa. They were both emotionally destroyed by this, but Lily didn't know what to say or do to make them see they were dying without each other.

"He should've thought about that before he started snogging girls behind my back," Lisa said, and the grip on her book tightened. It had been two weeks since then, but she still couldn't bring herself to get angry. Mostly she wanted to crawl into a hole and never have any contact with another human being ever again. But there was a war to fight, exams to take, people to look after... She couldn't afford to be this weak.

"You know it's killing him. What he did," Lily started again. "Maybe you should hear him out."

"Hear him out?" Lisa laughed joylessly. "There's nothing to hear. I asked him, begged him to give me a reason to forgive him. Anything, just as long as it gave me an excuse. He had nothing to say. I'm just... not what he wants."

Lily's hand rested gently on her shoulder. "You know that's not true."

"I wanted to believe that." Lisa smiled sadly at her. "But if it wasn't, he would've said something. If he had to go searching for more in another girl's arms, then... I think the answer has been made clear."

At that point, James stepped through the portrait hole, still slightly annoyed with Sirius. That hypocritical prat. Cheating was a normal part of his Wednesday night, and it was obvious that Moony felt bad enough about it without being reminded. Well, at least now they knew Padfoot  _was_  capable of caring about a girl. He just had to bother to get to know them first. James glanced at Lily and Lisa in the corner and the latter gave him a small wave and a smile. It was the exact same expression she had in fourth year, when she fell off her broom and tried to tell everyone she was fine while she had two fractured ribs and a broken leg. His gaze swept the room and immediately spotted Remus, scribbling away on some parchment. To anyone else he probably appeared perfectly calm and undisturbed. But then again, James wasn't just anyone.

He crossed the room and planted himself in a chair next to his friend.

"Wow, did you see how Lily's eyes sparkled like sunlit emeralds when I told her she was beautiful today?"

Remus gave a noncommittal hum as a response and continued writing. James shot him a look. Not even an eyeroll?

"And how about that stunt Sirius and I pulled? McGonagall won't be able to remove the permanent sticking charm we put on that full-sized nude painting of the crude wizard we placed in her office. Do you think she'd make him put on clothes?"

Another hum. This was starting to get a bit disturbing. James never thought he'd miss someone  _scolding_   _him_.

"So you're just gonna give up?" That finally made the quill stop moving. "After everything you went through this last year?"

Remus didn't respond.

"I'm not blind, you know. You both want to get back together, so just get over yourself and apologize. She'll take you back in a heartbeat."

A small crease appeared between the werewolf's eyebrows, but his jaw tightened and he remained silent.

"I'm not so sure about that," he said finally, as the quill resumed its dance on the parchment. James continued to stare at him sadly. If only he wasn't so stubborn...

* * *

oOo

After about a week of watching Fleet flirt with Lisa, Remus had to admit to himself he couldn't stand the torture and took to hiding in the Library. It was the cowardly thing to do, but it had the benefit of keeping Piper away as well, and he was really starting to hate James' sympathetic looks and Sirius' frustrated glares. All he wanted was to be left alone and wallow in his own misery, and he told them so in no uncertain terms, but there was a red-headed variable in the equation he hadn't accounted for.

"Are you holding up?" Lily asked, sitting on Remus' table.

"I'm doing quite fine, thank you." He smiled politely at her and returned his attention to his notes.

"Do your mates buy this rubbish?"

Remus sighed. He should've known it wouldn't be so easy. "Alright then. I'm a bit stressed about the exams, but I think with this new study schedule I can get a reasonable—"

"Don't try to weasel out of this one with me," Lily cut through him. "You're miserable, and you can't keep it in forever. James said you didn't even look up when Sirius was yelling at you."

Remus rubbed his eyes tiredly and dragged his hands down his face. "What do you want me to say, Lily? That I'm a useless, gormless tosser that ruined the best thing he ever had? That I can't stop thinking about it, that I keep seeing the look of betrayal in her eyes, that I miss her every single second?"

"Then what are you doing moping around in the Library?" Lily scolded him. "Did you know Lisa thinks she simply wasn't good enough for you?" His eyes snapped to meet hers and started at her in pure astonishment. "She's got it in her head that she just wasn't giving you enough, so you went to get it from someone else."

Remus was quite sure his jaw was about to fall from its joints. Hunching over the table, he hid behind his palms again, completely at a loss for words. He didn't think it was possible for him to loathe himself any more than he already did, but this... He would have preferred it tenfold if she'd only gotten angry, yelled at him, hexed him like he deserved, but instead all he did was hurt her and make her feel inferior. He wondered how he could continue to live and breathe if his heart was clearly broken into too many pieces to continue pumping the black sludge coursing through his veins.

Lily leaned on the hard wood as well, her eyes boring into him. "If you would only explain... just tell her it was an accident. That it wasn't your fault..."

"It _was_ my fault, Lily!" he said, a bit harsher than he meant to. "It wasn't like I tripped and fell into that girl's mouth!"

"So why  _did_  you fall into it?"

"Because... because..." He was struggling to put the mess in his head into coherent words, but his brain was failing him. "I don't know."

"Everyone makes mistakes," Lily continued after a small pause. "I'm sure she knows that. Just... apologize. Beg for forgiveness. Do  _anything_."

"She's better off without me," he uttered quietly.

"Like hell!" the Head Girl snapped. "Being without you is killing her. And it's killing you, too."

Remus stared unseeingly in front of him. "I wouldn't even know where to begin," he said.

What could he possibly say or do to make things right again? It seemed to him their relationship was so irreversibly broken, not even all the words in the world could put it back together. He knew he had done the unforgivable, he had shattered her trust in him, probably along with any feelings she might've had. She would never want him back; never again see him as something more, something better than what he was. Evil. Untrustworthy. Werewolf.

"How about you start from here," Lily said gently, placing a hand over his heart.

* * *

oOo

Using the warming weather as an excuse, James took Lily on a stroll around the castle grounds on Wednesday. Remus kept retreating farther into his shell, Sirius was still restless and Peter was still of no help at all. The whole thing was bumming him out, big time.

"James, I've been thinking..." Lily said as the couple was walking hand in hand by the lake.

"A dangerous pastime." James smirked.

"About Remus."

"We're two months in and you're already thinking about other men? Where did I go wrong?!" James looked to the sky dramatically.

Lily elbowed him in the ribs. "About him and Lisa. You can see they're unhappy, can't you?"

"I'd see it even if the Death Eaters locked me up in a pitch-black dungeon and broke my glasses. What's your point?"

"My point is that they haven't even talked about it! He's practically unwilling to explain himself and she avoids him like the plague."

"It's  _their_  relationship, Lily." James sighed heavily. "They have to figure it out on their own." She stared at him with a strange expression. "What?"

"That's just... so mature of you. I half-expected you and Sirius to already have some moronic plan of getting them back together," she said in an amused tone.

"First of all, some of us actually  _aren't_  the same arses they were in fifth year— _cough—_ Snape _—cough—_. Second, Moony hates it when we interfere in his love life. We tried to set him up once or twice, and it ended so badly he gave us the cold shoulder for a bloody month. And third... alright, we actually  _have_  been trying to come up with something, but we all know that no matter what we do Remus is a suborn bastard, so he'd just sulk, make and excuse and walk away. Even if we locked them in a broom closet over night, they'll probably spend it in the opposite corners in complete silence. Peter suggested love potion, but-"

"That's because both of them are too smart for these pathetic attempts!" Lily rolled her eyes. "Such a thing requires more... finesse."

James stared at her, utterly dumbstruck. "Evans... don't tell me you...?"

"You can't just shove two people awkwardly close together and expect things to magically work themselves out," Lily explained, a mischievous gleam in her eyes. "It needs to be subtle... to feel natural. I'm sure they can work it out if we just... pushed the circumstances around a little. I already have a plan. You want in?"

He gaped at her in awe. "Is the  _Head Girl_  actually suggesting a manipulative plot to meddle in the lives of our best friends?"

"What can I say?" Lily smirked. "I aim to misbehave."

James stopped walking, twirled her around and drew her into his arms.

"Lily Evans, I've never been more in love with you," he said seriously, and she giggled as she wrapped her arms around his neck.


	24. No need for words

"This will never work, Evans." Sirius rolled his eyes as he, Lily and James were waiting in position in the Third Floor Corridor.

"Yes it will, Black," she shot back. "Now less complaining and more concentrating on remembering your lines."

Sirius gave James an annoyed look. "Do you have to drag Yoko into everything, Prongs? I'm sure I could've came up with a better idea in my sleep!"

"For the last time, Lily is not Yoko," James growled. "And I think you're just jealous because her plan is brilliant."

"Of course  _you_ 'd think that," Sirius said irritably. "She's brainwashed you! And this plan is stupid!"

"Quiet!" Lily shushed them when Peter walked by and gave them the sign. "He's coming."

"But I mean, come on, Evans, everyone knows it's true!" James said in a loud voice, just as Professor Kettleburn made a turn at the corridor and headed their way. "My dad works at the Ministry, and I'm telling you, they're 'Beasts'!"

"They are 'Beings', James! Everyone knows that!" Lily piped up.

"Bollocks," Sirius threw in thunderously, making every student in the hall turn to look at him. "They're half-breeds! How could they NOT be classified as 'Beasts'!?"

Kettleburn stopped in his tracks and observed the quarreling students curiously.

"Because they have human level intelligence," Lily was explaining.

"How would you know? Have you ever seen one?" James insisted.

"Well, erm, no, but I know there's a herd in the Forbidden Forest!" Lily retorted.

"So then let's go and meet them," Sirius said.

"But the forest is  _dangerous_ ," Lily stressed, throwing a half-look at the teacher. "And we aren't allowed in there."

"Look, it's Kettleburn!" James proclaimed, as if he had just now noticed him. "Professor, you're an authority on magical creatures. Please tell Lily that centaurs are considered 'Beasts'! The Ministry says so."

"I'm sorry to inform you, Miss Evans, but centaurs are indeed 'Beasts'," Kettleburn said knowingly.

"Have you ever seen one, Professor?" Lily asked, her green eyes growing to the size of saucers. "Oh, how I would've loved to meet one in person!"

"You said it yourself, Lily," Sirius chimed in. "The forest is full of  _dangerous,_  dark creatures. We can't go in there."

That was the cue for Peter to rush in.

"There you are! What are you lot doing loitering around the corridors? We'll be late for Arithmancy!" he squeaked.

"Thank you for your help, Professor." Lily smiled sweetly, and the group left Kettleburn to strike his chin thoughtfully.

"Told you it would work," James whispered smugly when they made a turn and watched him slowly resume on his way.

"Nothing's worked yet!" Sirius insisted.

"Fine then! If it does work and they get back together, you owe me five galleons! Deal?" James said hotly and held out his hand.

"Deal," Sirius agreed and shook it. "Pete, did you pay that Hufflepuff for the second part?"

Peter nodded in confirmation.

"Good," said Lily. "Now all we have to do... is wait."

* * *

oOo

It was Friday. Lisa was starting to hate Fridays. She outright skipped the Care of Magical Creatures class twice, and once missed it on account of being in the Hospital Wing, but this time she had to face it. N.E.W.T.s were coming, after all, and she couldn't just shape her entire existence around avoiding Remus. It had been a month already. She couldn't hide from him forever.

She entered the classroom early, praying to all that was holy he wouldn't sit next to her, and buried her face in her textbook.

"Grab your things, class!" Kettleburn announced excitedly, entering the room. "We're going on a little excursion!"

Everyone exchanged worried glances. Whatever Kettleburn had in mind, one thing was certain: it would not be safe. The students threw their bags over their shoulders and reluctantly got up. Walking in a loose group, Lisa stuck close to three agitated Hufflepuffs as they followed their Professor out of the castle and into the Forbidden Forrest. She threw a quick glance over her shoulder at Remus, who was luckily staring at the ground in that moment, seemingly deep in thought. They had both been in the forest before, so at least if Kettleburn messed up too spectacularly, the two of them could deal with whatever he was showing them. If they could manage to look at each other.

After about an hour or two of walking, Kettleburn finally gave them a sign to stop.

"What are you doing on our land, humans?" came a voice from the woods.

Seemingly out of nowhere, a dozen centaurs appeared between the trees. A few girls gasped.

"This, class, is the Centaur tribe that lives in the forest," Kettleburn prattled off, more or less ignoring the creatures. "They bare some resemblance to the illustrations in the books, but as you can see, are a lot dirtier in real life."

"What did you say?" an angry growl came from one of them.

"They rejected classification by the ministry as 'Beings', not wanting to share this label with hags and vampires," the Professor continued as the centaurs scowled and some drew back the stings of their bows. A few students exchanged strained glances and reached for their wands. "They are a proud warrior race, but have an established code of conduct. For example, they do not like to harm the young, so all of you are quite safe."

"They are not so young." A wild, black-haired centaur stepped forward. "And we will not be used for your amusement!"

"Amusement?" Kettleburn turned around, finally acknowledging their presence. "I am  _educating_  these young wizards and witches! Would it not be best for you if they saw you in your natural habitat and knew not to be afraid of you, as opposed to letting their heads be brainwashed by the Ministry and their silly insistence that you are half-breeds?"

"Half-breeds?" The black centaur's nostrils flared dangerously.

"B-but Professor," a timid blond girl called, "they are half horse and half man... so they really  _are_  half-breeds, aren't they?"

Wrong move.

Some of the centaurs shouted, enraged, and took a few steps forward. Someone panicked and shot a spell. The tribe fired arrows, while Kettleburn was shouting something, and jets of light flew through the air. The students scattered in every direction when the centaurs galloped right in their midst, and in all of the confusion Lisa miraculously managed to tear away to the left and dash madly through the trees. When she stopped to catch her breath after several minutes, she looked around to see she was completely and utterly lost.

The trees looked the same in every direction. Everything was so quiet; the only sound she could hear was the frantic beating of her own heart. The young witch cursed under her breath, damning Kettleburn for being such an old pot and Dumbledore for still letting him teach! She sighed but decided staying in one place was probably not very wise, so she started walking. Only problem was, she had no idea which direction the castle was! Well, they would send Hagrid for her eventually. Her and anyone else that was stupid enough to break away from the group.

Lisa tried not to think of the forest trolls, of the blood-sucking bugbears and the hippogriffs and the wolves and the who knows  _what_  else Hagrid let loose in there. She looked up, hoping to see the position of the sun, but the trees were so tall in this part of the forest - they almost completely obscured the sky. Suddenly, a rustling sound caught her attention. She looked around but saw nothing. The rustling continued, faint, but getting louder, and Lisa was starting to panic. Nothing was moving through the trees, or swooping from the sky...

Unexpectedly something like a big, black blanket enveloped her from behind, and she foolishly let out a long, high-pitched scream. The edges of the blanket wrapped around her tighter and soon smothered her in the fabric. She twisted and squirmed, but it only made her waste more breath as she struggled for air. Falling to the ground, her lungs painfully contracting in her chest, Lisa could practically feel her consciousness slipping...

" _Expecto Patronum!_ "

Suddenly, the folds loosened around her and slithered away, while she desperately gasped for breath. Lisa threw a look at the fleeing creature that attacked her and at her savior, a magnificent silver wolf. The patronus took a few steps forward, staring at her with its large, white eyes as if in concern. Still coughing a bit, lightheaded and disoriented, she stretched her hand to its head, but just as her trembling fingers were about to touch it, it vanished.

Someone knelt down beside her. "Are you okay?"

Lisa looked up to see that her rescuer was none other than Remus, pale with worry. She nodded slowly and stood up. "What happened to the others?"

"I don't know. The centaurs scattered us, everything was a mess..." He trailed off. "I heard you scream. Was the Lethifold the only thing that attacked you?"

"That was  _another one_  of Kettleburn's mad ideas cut loose!?" she exclaimed angrily. "I thought he got rid of them!"

A thin smile graced his lips. "He did. By releasing them into the forest."

"That barmy old fool!" Lisa yelled. "How is he still allowed to teach? Bringing a class right into centaur territory, not even thinking for a second some idiot might offend them on accident! When will Dumbledore blow the cobwebs from his brain and hire someone who  _doesn't_  run the risk of killing us every day!"

"We have that class once week," he noted cheekily, but she only whacked him against the shoulder.

"You know what I mean! We've come closer to death in his classes than in any of the battles against the Death Eaters! And then he dumps his pests in the forest, free to attack and kill any moron stupid enough to wander in! Merlin, when we get back to the castle, I'm marching straight into Dumbledore's office and  _demanding_  we only have practical lessons with Flobberworms from now on!"

He laughed. "And you'll be complaining about how boring it is within a week."

"Yes, well..." She fumbled for words. His laugh was near entrancing. "Better bored than dead."

As his laughter and her temper began to die down, the atmosphere quickly turned awkward. She couldn't meet his eyes, and didn't exactly know what to say to him anyway. They hadn't spoken in weeks.

"So, erm..." she began, "do you have any idea how to get back?"

He nodded, placed his wand on top of his palm and it spun, pointing to the right. "That way is north," he explained. "And when we left, we were heading east. The forest goes around the castle, so if we walk to the west, we should eventually reach the edge."

"Right. Good," she said awkwardly, and they walked in the direction he suggested. "It was a good thing you showed up when you did," she added after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence. "I really would have gotten myself even more lost."

"Not to mention you'd be eaten by a Lethifold."

"Yes. That too." Silence again. "So that was your patronus? I didn't know you learned to produce a corporeal one."

"Yeah, about that..." He scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "I make a non-corporeal on purpose. You know, so I don't tip anyone off."

"That's silly. Just because your patronus takes that shape, doesn't mean you're a werewolf! I mean, you are, but no one would think that just from a patronus."

"Still. Just to be safe."

More silence.

"So how is Piper?" She cringed as soon as the words left her mouth.  _Why did she ask that?!_

"I wouldn't know."

"Are things not going well between you?"  _Why wouldn't her mouth stay shut?!_

"There is no 'us'."

"Oh." Silence. "She said you've been looking for a way to tell me for a couple of weeks, so I assumed..."

"Wait." He held on to her wrist, making her stop. "What couple of weeks?"

"Er..." She looked at the ground uncomfortably. "The previous... weeks. When you were... at it?"

"You think... I would do something like that for  _weeks_  without telling you?"

"I didn't think you'd do it at all."

He still held on to her wrist, and her eyes were still glued to the ground. Neither said anything. He opened his mouth to speak, but suddenly they both looked up, sensing droplets of water on their heads.

"This way," he said after a quick look around and pulled her to a tiny hill, where some very large tree roots were forming something of a large burrow. It was raining buckets by the time they made it.

She took off her robes and laid them on the ground so they could sit a bit more comfortably, then quickly performed  _Muffliato, Protego Maxima_  and a few other defensive charms, just in case something more vicious than centaurs happened across them. When she was done, Lisa returned to sit next to him. For a little while, all they could hear was the drumming of the rain.

"It wasn't weeks," he finally spoke. "It was one single time, and I didn't even wait an hour to tell you."

"Okay," she said. "I believe you."

Though she didn't know if this made her feel any better. Lisa stole a glance at him and  _Merlin_  he looked so good with dripping wet hair...

"I guess I get it," she found herself saying, cursing her loose tongue with every word. "I mean, she is pretty. And hot I suppose, but I'm not really a good judge for that. A night with her is probably amazing, and maybe you have a thing for brunettes, who am I to say—"

"Stop," he groaned. "You're better looking than ten of her, and just a kiss on the cheek from you is worth more than a whole week with Piper."

That did make her feel better, she admitted despite herself.

"... Do you regret it?" She felt like a five year old.

"Regret it?" He laughed bitterly. "I made the worst mistake of my life and it wasn't even over anything I cared about."

So... it didn't mean anything to him? But Piper said... oh, she wanted to kick herself for ever listening to anything that came out of that viper's mouth! Why was she such a fool? But he still did do it of his own volition... he must've been mad at her because of that fight, but... she just never thought he'd...

They were quiet again.

"Are you cold?" he asked, his eyes wandering to her wet shirt.

"I'm fine," Lisa said, but he was already taking off his robes. "Don't. I don't want you to catch a cold," she protested, taking a hold of his hands.

Her hands over his. They were cold and still at the clasps of his robes, and she stared at them mesmerized, knowing she should let go already, but couldn't find the will to do it. She looked up slowly, finally meeting his eyes after so much time, and something inside her broke, like she knew it would.

"Don't look at me like that," she breathed.

"I can't help it."

He slowly leaned in and kissed her. It was soft and sweet and gentle, but it made her head spin. Suddenly, the only thing that existed in her mind was him, and everything else faded into the white background. Her hands rose of their own accord to wrap around his neck, and his slipped about her waist and pulled her close. She wanted to tell him that she didn't care about anything else anymore, that she never stopped loving him, that her life was empty without him, that if he would only keep kissing her like this she would do anything for him... but then his hand caressed her cheek and she just knew. There was no need for words anymore.

Her hands moved on their own again to unclasp his robes, and as they fell to the ground, her fingers began loosening his tie and unbuttoning his shirt slowly, one button at a time, so he could say something if he wanted to. He didn't. His other palm trailed up her leg and past the hem of her skirt, lightly, deliberately, so she could stop it at any moment if she wished. She didn't.

She slid the white fabric of the shirt down his shoulders, and he shivered. Trailing gentle kisses from her jaw to her neck below the ear, he undid her buttons one by one. Oh, how she had missed his touch, his caresses, his mouth! She was trembling with so much emotion swirling inside her, and his scar-covered arms were so soft under her hands, so warm and real. When her shirt was off too, and he was busy kissing her exposed shoulders, his fingers found the clasp of her bra and struggled with it for a bit, then his hands slipped under the straps, slowly dragging them down the length of her shoulders and arms. She sighed his name softly when his kisses made a path from her collarbone down to her breast, and his right arm wrapped tightly around her waist and lowered her to the ground.

She inhaled the smell of wet soil and leaves and nature, and it reminded her of the first time he told her he loved her, and how he smelled of the forest. Her eyes closed in pleasure as his lips moved upwards to her neck again, and his hand traveled steadily down her belly, beneath the rim of the skirt, and very lightly brushed over her. Her whole body trembled. With each touch, with each breath against her skin, she felt him bring her back to life. With every kiss, he drew out that warm feeling she had buried deep inside, that flutter of her heart whenever he would caress her hand with his thumb, or when he would smile at her above the cover of his book... She let those memories and those feelings wash over her again and drown her in their sweetness.

It wasn't too long before he deemed the moisture on her underwear sufficient, and his fingers dipped under it. She gasped when he slowly pushed them inside her, but he pressed his lips to hers again and drank her quiet moans. The sensation of him so close to her, his fingers tracing her skin and touching her where she had never let anyone touch her before was exhilarating, at the same time a rush and a sense of calm.

The rain was still drumming on the ground, and his kisses left a blazing trail all the way down to her breasts again. She whispered his name like a prayer, as her head was swimming with so many things she only vaguely remembered what Dorcas had told her about pain and expectations. But who cared about such things when his long fingers were dancing inside her and his warm body was pressed against hers? The feeling was definitely strange, something she'd never experienced before. With each backwards motion, his fingers were curling upwards and she felt as if he was feeding a fire inside her, which spread from between her legs to her stomach, her heart, her whole body. Soon she forgot completely where she was, the ground under her no longer felt hard, the rain was more of a distant hum, and she could only think of his lips and his hands and the things he was making her feel.

Her skin practically radiated heat, and she felt hot despite the chilly early spring air. Her right hand left his shoulders and grazed over the bulge in his trousers. He groaned softly against her neck, and the sound made sparks of electricity run down her spine. She couldn't believe her boldness, but before she could fully register what she was doing, the button was popped, the zipper was down, and her hand was caressing his warm length. His breathing became increasingly uneven, and she loved the way it echoed in her ears. She tugged on his trousers and his hands stopped caressing her for a moment so he could pull them down, and despite the emotional state she was in, Lisa couldn't help herself and looked away in embarrassment. Then his thumbs hooked into her skirt, and she picked herself up a little as he slipped it and her underwear to her ankles, tracing a long caress all the way back up to her cheek, making her whole body tingle and the breath get hitched in her throat. He kissed her softly and moved himself around to position his body between her legs, but as soon as he did, stopped and hovered over her.

"I can't do this if you still hate me."

She looked up at him. "Why would I hate you?"

"Because I hurt you."

"You did... but I could never bring myself to hate you. I couldn't even get  _angry_. Merlin, Remus, I avoided you for weeks, but as soon as you looked me in the eyes, it was over. I was a goner."

"Does that mean... you'll have me back?"

She rolled her eyes. " _Yes_ , you silly werewolf." Her arms coiled around his neck, and she had to pick herself up slightly to press against him. "I think you just might be the love of my life."

He kissed her fervently, his hands caressed her everywhere, and the thought of them getting back together filled her up like sunshine. The last few weeks had been agonizing without him and nothing, not Adrian or Seth or anyone else could even compare to how happy he made her, sometimes just with a smile or a touch of his hand. His lips were kissing every inch of her they could get to, as he slowly pushed himself inside. She gasped in pain, and he slowed the pace even more, murmuring soothing words in her ear. ' _Oh, right_ ,' she remembered, ' _there was supposed to be pain_ '. It felt like he was driving a knife through her, but she bit back her cries. After all, she endured Cruciatus before, and this wasn't all that different, except that it was concentrated in one spot. Dorcas said it would pass quickly, all she had to do was hold off...

"Stop," she breathed when he was about half way in, and he complied immediately. Placing butterfly kisses on her forehead and hairline, he tried to relax her as much as possible, but his heart almost stopped when he saw tears streak down her face.

"Maybe we should... some other time..." he started to say, but she silenced him with a kiss.

"Just do it," she wheezed.

He started to inch upwards again, and she bit down on the inside of her cheek so hard it drew blood. Finally, after a few agonizing moments, he reached her barrier. Taking a deep breath, he filled her up completely in one swift motion, and she cried out in pain. He just laid there with her so she could get used to the sensation, kissing her cheek and whispering apologies. The sharp pain was gone, replaced by a dull ache.

"I kind of... like this," she said and smiled at him. "We feel... connected."

He leaned down to capture her lips with his, thinking how fittingly she expressed his own feelings into words. Then he slowly moved again, despite her low whimper. On about the sixth or seventh thrust, he couldn't take it anymore, his whole body shuddered, and he pulled out sharply, spotting the earth in white. He almost gasped, laying eyes on the red stain on the black fabric under them. Reaching for his wand, Remus cleaned everything without a word, before lying down next to her, covering them with his own discarded robes. She immediately snuggled up to him, and it was so familiar and easy, as if the two of them had never been apart.

"You seemed... to know what you were doing," she said after a while as he was caressing the small of her back.

"Yeah, ah, I... I asked Sirius for tips a while back," he admitted, surprised how quickly the blood rushed to his face, considering. "It was the most embarrassing conversation of my life, and if you tell anyone, I will deny it."

She chuckled against him.

"Remus?"

"Yes?"

"You were never the last option left. You're the  _only_  option."


	25. I am yours, utterly and irrevocably

Remus was lying in the burrow of three roots, looking at the sleeping girl in his arms. The rain was still falling on the hard ground, and he could feel her warm breath against his chest and sense her heart beat against his. A million things were racing through his mind a mile a minute. For so long he had thought breaking up would be for the best. He was too dangerous to be with her, her family would never approve, and he would hold her back so much if she decided to stay with him. There were a thousand reasons to end it, so when whatever madness it was that grasped his head in the dungeons with Piper, he told himself afterwards that it would at least keep her away from him. She could finally be with someone worthy of her, someone who would give her the future he could not.

And yet...

And yet, he couldn't help staring. He couldn't help yearning. He couldn't help feeling broken. He began to recline within himself, couldn't enjoy even the simplest things. But after that conversation with Lily in the Library, he began to have doubt. Doubt that he truly  _was_  doing what was best by staying away, doubt that he could continue to do so. And then today in the woods... as he looked into her chocolate eyes, he just... forgot everything. He forgot where he was, what he was doing, what he had been telling himself for months... Now, as she was quietly snuggling against him, warm and real and so wonderful, he finally realized he had been fooling himself. As much as he wanted to protect her and give her all the things she deserved... it was too late to back out. She was all he wanted out of life, and even though he was nowhere near close to deserving her and couldn't give her everything... he would give her  _himself_. And hope it was enough.

Suddenly, his head perked up as the sound of yelling reached his ears. His eyes narrowed and through the rain, and he could just make out the towering silhouette of the bearded gamekeeper, walking around the forest with a big swinging lantern in his hand.

"Lisa," Remus said gently, caressing her shoulder. "It's Hagrid. Dumbledore must've sent him to search for us."

"He won't find us, my spells will hold," she mumbled sleepily into his chest.

"Yes, but then he'd have to wander aimlessly around the forest in the rain. He could catch a cold."

Lisa grumbled discontentedly, but moved to get up. As they got dressed, Remus politely looked away, and she chuckled.

" _Now_  you get shy."

His face steadily became a deep shade of pink. The second he kissed her in that burrow, everything went blank and it just sort of... happened. And then it hit him that he had just made love to this girl down in the dirt, in the middle of a dangerous beast-filled forest,  _in the rain_. Of all the times and places it could have happened...

A warm hand slipped in his and Remus' attention was brought back to reality. Lisa smiled at him, and he felt everything else disappear from his mind again. She waved her wand through the air and brought down the barriers.

* * *

oOo

"Are you sure you didn't see a dark creature or something?" Lisa asked after about twenty minutes of pointless wandering through the woods. The rain had stopped, and they managed to dry themselves, so at least now they were just cold instead of wet  _and_  cold. "We should've caught up to him by now."

"It's kind of hard to confuse Hagrid with anything else," Remus pointed out. "But I think we lost him in the rain."

"And got ourselves even deeper into the forest," she added and groaned, stepping in a cold, muddy puddle. "You know, I really hate this place. Every time I come here I end up in a life-or-death situation."

"I don't think that has as much to do with the forest as much as it does with your knack for finding trouble."

"How was I supposed to know the woods are the preferred meeting ground for Death Eaters and friggin' Lethifolds are roami—"

"Shush!" he hushed her suddenly, staring intently between the trees.

Lisa gripped her wand tightly and prepared herself. They just stood there, still and unmoving, afraid to even breathe. A pair of icy-blue eyes peered above the leaves of a bush, and Lisa felt as if someone dumped a bucket of ice down her back. Very slowly, an enormous wolf with a thick, black coat emerged from it, approaching the petrified couple. Soon more eyes popped around them, as if glowing between the tree trunks.

"Remus," Lisa breathed, squeezing his fingers involuntarily.

Her gaze slid over the beast's short snout and carefully observed its measured steps. The wolf's intelligent blue eyes were almost white, and they stared at Lisa as if studying her, before slowly shifting to Remus. Animals don't act like that. This wolf didn't have the sheer bloodthirst she had seen reflected in another one's eyes more than a year ago, but of one thing Lisa was absolutely sure. They had just run right into the Hogwarts Werewolf Pack.

More furry bodies appeared around the pair from all sides, surrounding them. Lisa threw a quick look at Remus. His face was tense, but he was just staring at them, his wand arm hanging loose by his side. She gripped her own wand tighter, as the black wolf kept advancing, until it was standing right before them. For a few terrifying moments, it just stood there, unblinking and motionless, before abruptly lunging forward. Lisa was too startled to react on time, but the wolf only stood up on its hind legs, front paws resting against Remus' chest, and stared into his eyes. Remus stared back, and for a second she wondered if they were somehow communicating just through looks. Then suddenly the wolf's long tongue darted out and licked his face all the way from the chin to the eyebrows. Before she knew what was happening, Lisa let out a loud laugh upon seeing the face Remus pulled, something halfway between relief and disgust. The wolves around them gave out ear-piercing howls along with her giggles, and she laughed even harder.

"I think they like you," Remus said with a smile as one of them came closer and sniffed her robes before letting her pet it. The rest of the pack approached was well, and the Alpha came down from Remus' chest.

"I think they might like you a bit more," she replied, giggling a little again.

Remus knelt down so he could be on the same level as the black Alpha and carefully stroke the side of his neck.

"Hagrid did say they were very intelligent..." he muttered under his breath. "We are a bit lost. Can you help us find Hagrid?"

The Alpha stared at him intently for a second, before it  _nodded_  and sniffed the air. Then it made a few large circles around the two Gryffindors, keeping his nose to the ground, until suddenly his ears perked up and he howled towards the sky,then ran off between the trees. The rest of the pack howled as well and followed. Remus and Lisa exchanged a look, but their hands linked and they rushed after the wolves. Mud splashed everywhere as they swerved to avoid obstacles and jumped over bushes; the cold wind pierced their bodies and whipped their robes behind them, but Lisa couldn't bring herself to care. Running beside Remus and the wolves filled her with a strange sensation of freedom. Weightlessness surged through her, and for some unknown reason, she began to laugh again, feeling an unbridled joy fill her up along with the air in her lungs. Soon his laughter joined hers, mixing merrily with the howls of the pack.

And then a large, wet silhouette emerged in front of them. Lisa yelled out Hagrid's name and waved a hand in the air, but just as the gamekeeper turned their way, she slid on the mug and fell face-first into the ground with a loud ' _Oomph!_ '. Hagrid's heavy footsteps echoed through the ground, and Remus knelt down to check on her. She rolled on her back; face covered in mud, and just let out another thunderous laughter. What was happening to her? She didn't know if it was the running, the sex, Remus, or some combination of the three, but she hadn't felt this good in weeks. Lisa was actually  _happy_  again.

"There yeh two are!" Hagrid exclaimed as Remus was pulling her up to her feet. "Dumbledore sent me ter find yeh hours ago. Wha'cha doin' so far inter the woods?"

"We... lost our way," Remus replied, the pack of wolves gathering around Hagrid with their tongues hanging out.

"I see yeh made friends," the gamekeeper noted, petting the Alpha with his giant palm.

Remus nodded. "We came across them." 

"Took a likin' to yeh, didn' they?" Hagrid smiled at him under his bushy beard. "Figured they would. They notice that yer not like 'em other humans." Then he shot Lisa a panicked look and began backpedaling anxiously. "What I mean ter say was, yeh have a way with animals and they can sense that kind 'o stuff, and—"

"Hagrid," Remus interrupted calmly. "She knows."

"Oh," he said, eyeing Lisa wearily. "Oh. Yeah. Makes sense she'd find out sooner or later. James said yeh were feelin' a bit down, when yeh didn' come ter tea the other week."

Lisa shot him an incensed look. "I've known for over a year!"

Hagrid flinched and looked at her guiltily. "I... I didn' mean ter say..."

"It's alright, Hagrid," Remus said, lacing his fingers with hers, which pacified her instantly. "I'm sorry I couldn't come, I had some personal matters to attend to. I promise I'll definitely make it next time."

Hagrid's eyes lingered on their hands unintentionally, before crinkling in another smile. "Come on, then. Teachers'll be gettin' worried if I don' deliver yeh before sundown."

* * *

oOo

When they entered the Gryffindor common room about an hour later, exhausted and muddy but with smiles on their faces and intertwined fingers, a hurricane of red hair rushed to hug them both.

"Everyone else made it out hours ago! We thought something in there got you," Lily said breathlessly.

"I told you you were getting your knickers in a twist over nothing, Evans." Sirius smirked. "They both know how to take care of themselves."

She turned around to roll her eyes at him, when she noticed the strange smile on James' face and slowly traced his gaze to Lisa and Remus' linked hands. Her eyes darted between them, before her face stretched into a wide smile.

"You guys are back together?" Marlene exclaimed loudly behind her, and Lisa cringed when Adrian Fleet dropped his box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavored Beans on the floor. He approached briskly, and she wanted more than anything to whip out her Invisibility Cloak and disappear.

"You're kidding, right?" he said, staring at her intensely. Lisa searched her head for a way to let him down gently, but he took her silence as a sign of indecisiveness and took her free hand in his. "He's no good for you, Lisa! He hurts you and makes you cry, you know that you'll regret—" The words caught in his throat as Remus' wand pressed against his chest.

"I would appreciate it if you took your hands off my girlfriend, Adrian," he said pleasantly, but there was a dangerous gleam in his eyes. "And in the future, refrain yourself from telling her what to feel or what to think."

If there was anyone in the common room that wasn't staring, they were now.

The look of surprise on Adrian's face was quickly replaced with a scowl. "And  _I_  would appreciate it if you did the same."

Sirius reached for his wand, but James grasped his wrist and shook his head. Peter was looking from Remus to Adrian nervously, and Lisa was just dumbfounded. Remus had never been this confrontational before.

"Let me be more clear," Remus said, sidestepping so he was between Lisa and Adrian. "Let go of her, or I will turn you into a Quintaped."

The Chaser was looking at him defiantly, but everyone else in the room stood on edge. They knew that if Remus wanted to, he could deliver on the threat, and Quintapeds were known for their taste for human flesh.

"You don't get to make choices for her," Adrian growled.

"I think her choice is clear," Remus corrected him. "Now. Let. Go."

Adrian's eyes shifted behind him to the part of Lisa's face he could see. "Lisa," he said pleadingly. "You're making a mistake. You deserve someone who will treat you better than that; you don't have to settle—"

At that moment there was a blinding flash of white light, girls' screams filled the room. When the smoke cleared, Adrian was gone, and a hairy mass of ginger fur stood on five legs in his place.

"I warned you," Remus said, putting the wand back in his robes. "And if I ever catch you shamelessly flirting with my girlfriend again, I will wipe her from your memory and leave you a drooling vegetable." Then he pulled a bemused Lisa towards the seventh year boys' dormitory and slammed the door behind him.

The creature moved, causing the girls and Peter to give out high-pitched shrieks. James and Sirius exchanged glances.

"Blimey... whatever they ran into in the forest, it seems to have given Moony a backbone," Sirius noted, half-stunned.

"About time," James scoffed. "We've been telling him to grow one for years. If Fleet flirted with Lily like that in front of  _me_ , I wouldn't have given him such a friendly warning."

"You wouldn't have given him a warning at all, you mean." Sirius laughed. "Well, we should get him back to normal before Moony gets detention for it."

James nodded and the two of them pointed their wands at the Quintaped.

"Oh, and by the way, Padfoot? You owe me five galleons."

* * *

oOo

"Erm... wow," Lisa started, when Remus closed the dorm door behind them. "That was..."

But she couldn't finish, as he swept her into his arms and kissed her. He couldn't explain what came over him back there. In the past he had always been able to keep such impulses well at bay, but after actually losing her... he wasn't about to let anything come between them again.

After allowing herself a moment of sweet pleasure, Lisa gently pushed him back.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but... I've never seen you so...  _possessive_  before. While I don't really appreciate being treated like a Quidditch Trophy, I have to admit it was... nice to see you finally fighting for me. For us."

He gazed down at her with a serious expression, before planting a light kiss on her forehead and resting his own against it. "That was because I was... hesitant, before. Because you deserve so much more than what I have to offer, and I didn't want to be selfish. I wanted you to be happy, even if it was making me miserable, but everything I've done to that end, all my efforts to protect you from myself, have only ended up hurting you. When... when we were apart those last few weeks, I realized something. I just can't pretend to be noble anymore. I  _am_  selfish. And I'm not good for you, but I still  _do_  want you, as much as I have tried not to. I am yours, utterly and irrevocably, until the day I die, and you could be mine, for as long as you want to be."

He drew her into a tight embrace, and she felt completely at a loss for words, as her eyes began to swim with tears.


	26. Trying too hard

"I told you that if you just talked to him you could work things out," Lily whispered with a smug grin, shivering a little in the chilly morning.

She and Lisa had volunteered to help Hagrid with the Flobberworm infestation of his pumpkin patch. Well, Lily volunteered and no one else wanted to go with her, so Lisa consented, since she had a free period today. Kettleburn was still recovering from that 'centaur lesson', and Dumbledore hadn't managed to find a replacement on such short notice. The two girls were spraying the patch with pesticide, as Hagrid was scolding Spike, his huge brown bloodhound, for trampling the pumpkins in his curiosity.

"We... didn't really talk that much," Lisa admitted. "He just... looked at me."

"He's been looking at you for weeks."

"No, I mean... he..." Lisa struggled to find the right words. "He... I don't know how to explain it. Our eyes met and... I know it sounds silly, but I just... knew. He told me everything that mattered just with a look."

To her surprise, Lily gave her a small smile. "I know what you mean. Sometimes when—"

Her words died out as Remus himself came towards them through the muddy Hogwarts grounds.

"Hi," he greeted once he was within earshot. "Alice told me you were here. How is the war with the Flobberworms going?"

"It'd be going faster if you joined our ranks," Lily quipped, flashing him a warm smile. He returned it and nodded, and with his added help, they got half of the patch clean in less than fifteen minutes. Wanting to give them some time alone, Lily winked to Lisa and went over to Hagrid to ask for a pesticide refill, despite the fact that the liquid swished audibly inside the watering can.

"So, did you want something, or did you come here all the way from the castle because you simply could not live with yourself if something happened to Hagrid's pumpkins?" Lisa asked, nudging Remus playfully.

He smiled. "Both."

"What is it then?"

"I was going to suggest accompanying you to the Library today. It's Friday."

Friday. Lisa's heart sank immediately. Every Friday afternoon since mid-way through first year was always Lisa and Dorcas time. And since half of the duo went on an undercover mission a few months ago, Fridays were particularly melancholy for Lisa. Her friends kept asking her why she still goes there and reads by herself, but she didn't know what to tell them. It was more than a just habit — it was holding on to the fact that Dorcas wasn't a traitor. It was a time she set aside each week to somehow honor their friendship, to show support for the Slytherin, even if she couldn't do it openly. Dorcas had told her there was no need for that, but Lisa insisted. It was the only thing she had.

Still, it left her glum for the rest of the day more often than not, and everyone had noticed. Remus was giving her a sad, sympathetic look, so she leaned over and kissed his cheek.

"Thanks, but no thanks. I want to do it alone."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

She smiled reassuringly, but he didn't quite buy it.

* * *

oOo

A few hours later, Lisa found herself perusing  ** _The Dark Arts Outsmarted_** , one of Dorcas' favorites. She looked out the window. Judging by the location of the sun, it was about four in the afternoon. Sighing heavily, she picked up her bag and headed to the exit. Life was so much grayer without Dorcas.

And just as she waved goodbye to Madam Pince, Lisa saw a familiar tall figure loitering right outside.

"Hey. What're you doing?" she asked, approaching.

"Waiting for you." Remus smiled. "You don't want to let me be inside with you, fine. But you didn't say anything about waiting for you afterwards." He held out a chocolate cupcake for her. "The elves say hi."

Lisa laughed lightly and took the dessert, sensing her mood lift a little.

"Come on. I have an idea that might cheer you up," he said, taking her hand and gently pulling her up the stairs and through some shortcuts only a Marauder would know. Lisa took a bite from the cupcake and let herself be dragged behind tapestries and up narrow staircases, lacing her fingers with his.

After about ten minutes, she realized he was taking her to the Astronomy Tower. Once they reached the top of the staircase, Lisa was left almost breathless by the beautiful view. Even on a broom she had never been this high.

"You know, I've never thought of coming up here during the day," she admitted, leaning over the railing.

"What's the point of coming at night? People will be in class," Remus said, joining her.

She laughed and shivered a little. This being the tallest tower in the castle, meant it was also the coldest. She took his hand and draped his whole arm over her shoulders, nestling herself comfortably against him. Remus felt both joy and guilt rush over him and pierce his body more deeply than the icy wind. Her casual acts of affection were killing him.

"Lisa, we need to talk about it," he said quietly. She didn't respond. "Please. This is eating me up."

"What's eating you up?" she said at last, but it sounded fake even to her.

"You know what."

"There's no point in discussing it. I've forgiven you, we've moved past it. What more is there to talk about?"

"We haven't moved past it. We've ignored it. And I can't keep going like that, I can't keep pretending things are back to the way they were when this is hanging between us like an axe waiting to fall."

"Aren't you being a bit dramatic?"

"Lisa..."

"It's getting cold up here. We should go back to the Common room."

She tried to walk away, but his hand shot out and grabbed hers firmly.

"Now who's running away?"

Lisa froze in her tracks. For the last year or so, she had always been the one that chased after him, both figuratively and literally, sometimes having to forcefully drag him into a confrontation so he would admit his feelings. And now here he was, throwing her own words back in her face.

"I think it's pretty clear things aren't exactly how they were before," she said, looking at the ground. "Before, you would've never threatened Adrian to stay away from me. And you would be convincing yourself you deserve every bit of guilt, and you would've let it fester in you for months before even mentioning anything. And before... I would have trusted you unconditionally."

His grip on her hand tightened slightly. "Do you still want to be with me?"

Lisa smiled and took a step forward, shortening the distance between them.

"Yes," she said, looking straight into those bright, green eyes and slipping her hands in both of his. "Though to be honest, I'm not even sure I  _have_  a choice. Being without you was horrible."

Remus let out a breath he didn't even realize he was holding. His heart was echoing painfully against his chest, but her sure, warm hands kept him grounded, kept him steady.

"But you don't trust me."

"I trust you with my life. With my heart... I don't know. I used to, but now I just... can't help it."

"... I understand," he said in a strained voice. "Those things take time. I've been too absorbed in my own self-loathing to notice this until now, but it takes two to make a relationship work. And for the entirety of ours, I've let you do all of it. This will no longer be the case. I promise you that from now on, I will put effort into winning you back. No matter how long it takes, I will earn back your trust, and I will strive to be the man you always thought me to be."

"You really are in a dramatic mood today, aren't you?" Lisa chuckled softly and slowly met her lips with his.

* * *

oOo

The next day at lunch, Lisa couldn't help but think back to that conversation. She did  _not_  want to hear the tale of how he wanted to put his hands on Piper. She just wanted to put it out of her mind and forget it ever happened, go on like before. It a lot of ways, it was still the same. He still made her feel whole, and right, and good when she was with him. Just being able to laugh with him again, to share a glance during class... it felt like she was in balance again, like her whole world was off its axis when they were apart and it finally went back to how it was supposed to be. She loved him, and it was as strong as ever, that much was a fact. But he was right about it not being the same anymore.

The doubts born in that broom cupboard a month ago were still there. About him, about her. Was she enough? Was he satisfied in this relationship? Maybe he wanted variety; they had been together for a long time... What if he got tired of her at some point? Complacency is love's suicide, right?

Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted when Alice gasped beside her. Lisa looked around for the cause of the commotion and saw a whole battalion of brown spots, bouncing on the floor. Students were pointing and whispering, and the Gryffindor girls exchanged bewildered glances.

"What are those?" Marlene asked, but her question was soon answered as the brown spots jumped onto their table and hopped towards them. Lisa's eyes widened with surprise as she realized is was a whole bunch of  _chocolate frogs_. They neared and neared, arranging themselves into a tight formation right in front of her, then opened their mouths and sang under Lisa's petrified gaze. It was a literal frog choir! To her further horror, the frogs sang  _'A Matter of Trust'._ Only one person knew her well enough to have them sing Billy Joel. Lisa's whole face was steadily becoming a very pronounced shade of red as she listened to the song, wanting desperately to be anywhere but here. The entire Great Hall was watching her, while she was cursing Remus in her head with every hex she knew. When the embarrassing ordeal was over, the middle frog opened its mouth and held out a piece of parchment. It read  _'Trophy room'_.

The following silence was deafening, but fortunately didn't last long. The Hall exploded with laughter and comments, Marlene sighed and swooned as she took a frog and bit its head, Alice gave Lisa a smile, but Lily shot her a sympathetic look. Lisa's eyes slid down the table to the Marauders, and her anger flared up when she saw Sirius and Peter laughing their heads off, and James smirking smugly.

She stood up abruptly, walked over and dragged the surprised James by the collar all the way to the Entrance Hall. "You told him to do this, didn't you?" she exploded, once they were out of earshot.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," James denied immediately, straightening his robes, just as Sirius and Peter caught up.

"Don't you dare lie to me, Potter! This has your muddy hoof prints all over it!"

"It's not his fault, Lisa," Peter jumped in. "Moony asked for some advice, and—"

"And he should've gone with my idea," Sirius interjected with a scoff. "Told you I know how to please a woman better than you, Prongs."

"He asked for romantic advice from  _you two_?" Lisa exclaimed in disbelief. "And he listened to it?"

"Hey! I'll have you know that Prongs and I have bagged the most dates out of the Marauders!" Sirius exclaimed indignantly.

Lisa just sighed in aggravation. "I'll deal with you later. Never  _ever_  give me presents for anything, ever!"

She turned her back on them and stomped to the third floor, which not-so-coincidentally was usually barren this time of day. And of course, Remus was waiting for her in the Trophy Room, and he was  _holding a rose_.

Lisa couldn't help but groan audibly and slap her hand on her forehead. "Please tell me this is some sort of prank."

He stared at her like a deer in headlights. "I... I just thought... James said girls like this sort of thing..."

"Since when do you listen to James about this? You know he overdoes it with everything, and  _put that thing away_ , seriously!" she exclaimed, gesturing to the flower and pinching the bridge of her nose. He looked down at his hand and perched the rose on a random award. "Sweet Merlin, Remus! In the name of all that is holy, please do not embarrass me this way ever again! The  _whole school_  was watching that spectacle! I don't even know how I'm going to show my face in public again! The teachers saw it, the Death Eaters saw it,  _Snape_  saw it! He will never let me live this down!" Not to mention Dorcas. The green notebook would be full with frog jokes by the time she opened it again!

"I... I'm sorry," he said quietly, his face turning red. "You know I'm not very good at this, so I..."

"You decided to ask the Marauders about it?!"

"You liked James' valentine to Lily."

"No, I did  _not_! I said it was endearing in how bad it was! That is not the same as... wait. You don't have a poem on you, do you?"

He looked down at his shoes and became even redder, if that was possible.

Lisa groaned again. "Remus, for Merlin's sake! This is trying too hard! I've told you before, and I'm telling you again, I  _do not need_  such things! You don't have to lay our business out in the open like that!"

"I wanted to do something to show you I'm trying... I thought it was a bit much, but they convinced me you would like it," he murmured under his breath like a scolded four-year-old.

"I have no doubt, but  _why did you listen_? You know me better than them!"

"James has known you since you were three."

"Just because he's known me longer, doesn't mean he knows me better! How can you not trust yourself on this?"

He was silent and her words hung in the air between them.

"I see," she said quietly, finally realizing the problem. "I told you I don't trust you... so now you don't' trust yourself."

He finally lifted his eyes to meet hers. "How can I? If you don't believe in me, how can I believe in myself?"

Lisa's heart fell and she wrapped her arms around him in a hug. "Oh, Remus... I didn't mean it like that."

"I'm afraid I'll mess up again and lose you," he muttered in her shoulder. "A part of me wanted you to give up on me before. But now... now I can't even stomach the thought. Fleet has proven that you always have a choice, that there are other, better options for you out there. I've never actively tried to... to present an argument as to why you should chose a beast like me over someone normal. I..."

"You have nothing to prove," she interrupted. "You've misunderstood what I said up in the Astronomy Tower. Of course I still trust your judgment. You always know just what to say or do to make me feel better, even without me telling you I need it. You don't need to send a choir to serenade me to show me how you feel, I can see it when you smile at me and take my hand in yours. I don't need you to write me poetry, because you tell me everything I need just with a look. That part of our relationship is just fine. You're trying to fix something that's not broken."

"So what you meant then... was that you don't trust me not to cheat again."

"Sort of," she admitted, wanting to make it perfectly clear this time around. "It's not that simple. It's not that I think you can't resist temptation, and that you will go around snogging girls behind my back. I know you're not that kind of person. It was more about me, than about you, what I said. I guess what I was trying to say was... that I'm afraid you'll... get bored of me."

He pulled back to look at her in pure shock. "Get  _bored_  of you?"

"Well, why else would you be kissing other girls? You're a guy, I get it. A long time with only one person can become boring, especially since we don't fight all that often.  _So one sweet changeless chord too long sustain'd; Falls at its close into a lower tone_ _._ "

To her surprise, Remus laughed and kissed her forehead. "And  _that_  is why I will never get bored of you. Who else can recite 19th century poetry off the top of their head?"

"Most people would argue that in itself is boring."

"Then they don't understand what they are talking about. And neither does Lewis Morris. Me getting bored is the  _last_  thing you need to worry about."

Lisa's lips curved into a small smile and she sighed. "I'll tell you what. I'll try to trust you on this, and we can start acting... normal again. No more over the top declarations of love, and no more doubts."

"And no more talk of complacency and  _Love's Suicide_."

"Or of Piper Spudgen."

"Or of Adrian Fleet."

They both laughed and he rested his forehead against hers.

"See, this," she said, tightening her arms around him slightly. " _This_  is what matters. Let's just... concentrate on this. Everything else will work itself out."

"Now who's being dramatic," he mumbled.

"Shut up. At least I didn't write poetry."

"You quoted a poem. That makes you just as bad."

"Are we really doing this? After that frog choir in the Great Hall? I will  _never_  be as cheesy as you. Just admit it."

"You like cheese. Especially cream cheese. I've seen you eat ridiculous amounts of it."

Lisa sighed playfully and poked him in the ribs. Not waiting for his chuckle to die down, she caught it with her lips. "Merlin, I love you when you laugh."

He only gazed at her, threading his fingers through her hair, and she didn't need him to say the words.


	27. The Dark Mark

Lisa stared despairingly at the P glaring at her from her Transfiguration test with which McGonagall decided to surprise them yesterday, as the other girls were clustered around her in the Gryffindor common room.

"It's alright... you'll do better next time," Alice tried to console her.

"No I won't," Lisa moaned, banging her forehead against the table.

"You'd think with all that time in the library, you'd get an O in everything," Marlene quipped.

"I read for fun!" Lisa explained against the hard wood. "I can tell you all about the sacrifice the Mkodo tribe performed by the Madagascar tree, but when there's a test in front of me... it all goes blank. And I'm just pants at transfiguration."

"But you know this!" Lily exclaimed, her eyes sliding down the parchment. "Human transfiguration, I saw you read about it before bed two weeks ago!"

"Oh sure,  _now_  I can tell you the theory behind turning a human into a pig, but explaining it on paper? Not a chance. If the O.W.L.s were down to just the written exams, I'd probably get P in everything!"

"How is that even possible?" Alice mused. "You read defensive theory for days on end."

"Yeah, but remember how that turned out? She couldn't even walk straight after the first week," Marlene quipped.

"Because she got obsessed," Lily threw in with a smirk.

"I did  _not_  get obsessed!" Lisa objected hotly, straightening into a sitting position again. "And that was different."

"I think you're just not as...  _motivated_  to learn this," Alice supplied gently. "And your life has been a bit hectic lately."

Lisa groaned and buried her face in her hands. Yes, the break up and the horrible subsequent weeks were 'hectic'.

"Why did Frank have to graduate?" she whined miserably. "He always helped me with school things..."

"On the plus side, Remus is always at the top of every class." Marlene smirked. "Just ask him to tutor you."

Lisa sighed. "He has enough things on his plate right now without having to worry about my academic failures." 

"He wouldn't mind," Lily said kindly and placed a hand on Lisa's shoulder. "Actually, I think he might be happy to spend some more time with you."

Lisa half-turned to look at her friend's encouraging smile and couldn't help but return it. "If you say so, Lil."

* * *

oOo

"Hmm..." Remus muttered, his eyes sliding down the short test he had compiled for Lisa.

She was sitting on edge on the other side of their table in the Library, gnawing on her thumb nervously. "You don't have to say it," she whined miserably. "I got them all wrong, didn't I?"

"Not...  _all_  of them," he said gently, giving her a thoughtful look over the parchment. "But this is strange... I know you can do better than this..."

Lisa groaned and hit her head against the table. "All teachers say that when they're disappointed in you."

"I'm not disappointed," he said calmly, "I've just  _seen_  you do better." He pulled a textbook out of his bag and placed it between them. "Turn it into a porcupine." Lisa lifted her head and stared at him questioningly. "Just imagine I'm your N.E.W.T.s examiner. Turn this book into a porcupine," he repeated.

She gave him a puzzled look, but raised her wand. There was an unexpected puff of green smoke. When it cleared, the book was still a book, but with needles popping from its cover.

"Now I can't even do  _third year_  spells? What is wrong with me?" Lisa moaned and buried her face in her hands despairingly.

"Nothing is wrong with you," Remus said, moving around the table to sit next to her. "You just freeze up. You feel pressure to perform and your magic suffers. Look here," he added, pulling over the test and pointing to question 12. "The question is about the difference between a switching spell and a straight transformation, but you've put down the  _similarities_. You were anxious and didn't read the question carefully. And here, on this one, it asks you to list the subcategories of conjuration, but you've listed the branches of transfiguration, one of witch  _is_  conjuration. These mistakes are not due to lack of knowledge."

"Great. The problem wasn't that I can't remember the theory, I've just lost the ability to think in general." Lisa sulked. "Do I not take time to wave the wand properly too? I just failed a  _switching_ , for Merlin's sake!"

"You did wave the wand. Overenthusiastically, I might add. Movements in transfiguration are not like in charms. They need to be more precise, sharper, without excess wiggling. Here." He put one hand on the small of her back and the other around her wand hand and made a short, deliberate motion through the air. "Try it like that." She took a deep breath and started again, but he caught her wrist in mid air. "No, you're raising it too much. Shoulder length," he muttered near her ear. His hand remained on hers and he gently guided her through the motion. The book transformed into a porcupine and tried to run away, but Remus pulled it back with a flick of his wand. Lisa beamed at him, and he smiled back. "See? You just have to remember the basics. Now vanish it."

"Are you kidding me? It's your Ancient Runes textbook!"

"You'll conjure it back."

"What if I can't?"

He smiled at her reassuringly. "You can. Just don't think about the fear. If you're expecting failure, you make it more likely to happen. Take a deep breath to slow down your heart rate and think carefully about each movement before you make it."

Lisa nodded shortly and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, like he said. She could feel her heart beat faster then normal. Slowing it down with each breath, she visualized the movements precisely and went over them in her mind. Then her eyes snapped open and she vanished the porcupine, waited a few moments, and then conjured the Runes book back in its original state.

"I told you you can do it," he said, kissing her temple. "You just needed to relax. I'll help you come up with a study timetable and I'll make sure you're well prepared for the N.E.W.T. Just remember to take time to read each question carefully and thoroughly, don't worry about the time restrictions."

Lisa leaned back into his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Thank you for this. You make it all seem easy."

"You're welcome. But why didn't you come to me with this sooner?"

"I just... thought you had enough things to worry about. There's the moon, and the war, and you have to carry your mates through everything already..."

"They'll have to manage," Remus scoffed. "I warned them many times that I won't help them this year if they don't stop passing notes in class instead of paying attention. If they're such geniuses, they can pass on their own."

"You say that every year, but you always cave when they come crawling the week before exams," Lisa pointed out.

"Those gits," Remus said with a heavy sigh, and she giggled.

"How come you're so excellent at everything?"

"You bring it out of me," he said as his arms closed around her as well.

At that point, a few sixth years walked by and sat on a table not too far, opening their books and chatting quietly. Lisa glanced in their direction and was immediately overcome with a sense of dread as she saw the petrified expression on Adrian Fleet's face. Remus' body tensed under her, and she pulled away to sit up straight and give Adrian a small wave. The Chaser's eyes moved from her to Remus quickly and flashed with anger for a second. A second later they came back to her, and he gave her a slight nod. Lisa looked at her boyfriend too and was surprised to see him shooting Adrian a warning glare before reaching for his Ancient Runes textbook and flipping through it to make sure the conjuration was accurate.

"Is this  _still_  going on? Look, it was cute the first time, but it needs to stop," she said to him quietly. "I don't want you glaring daggers into Adrian every time he walks by."

"But he is free to do it to me?"

"He at least has a reason! We where  _this_  close to dating when you and I got back together. He'll get over it, but until he does, you need to be the bigger person and let it go.

"Why am I always the bigger person?" he grumbled in frustration. "He already managed to get a kiss from you. I don't want him near enough for a second shot."

"Erm..." Lisa started uncomfortably. She hadn't told him  _how_  close she and Adrian were to becoming a couple.

"... What?" he asked wearily when she didn't continue.

"Ah, well... you're kinda... late on the second kiss thing."

"What?!"

Remus turned to glare at Adrian again, and Lisa got a bad feeling about it, so she shot up to her feet.

"That's enough studying for today," she said hastily and pulled him with her out of the Library and out of wand range.

Remus looked at her with a frown as they were ascending the staircase to the second floor.

"This had better happened when we were broken up, or he'll wake up with an Erumpent horn."

"It did. And stop giving out transfiguration justice! I'll handle Adrian, and I'll do it without resorting to cross-species switching spells!"

"James would have done worse."

"Well, I'm not dating  _James_ , am I? Lily may tolerate this juvenile stupidity, but I expected more from you! Also, I would like to point out that  _you_  were the one who initiated the comparison this time, but since you did, I have to say that the fact you were  _above_  such idiocy, unlike your brain-dead mates, was one of your bigger good points."

He was quiet as she pulled him a bit more of the way while he thought it all over, before matching her step and lacing his fingers through hers.

"Alright," he said with a slight smile. "If it bothers you, I won't glare at him. But do I at least have your permission to hex him if he makes physical contact?"

Lisa mused over the question for a bit, before giving him a slight nod.

"But only if it's an inappropriate contact," she added. "Don't go stunning him if he's trying to hold on to me while I'm hanging off the edge of the Astronomy Tower."

Remus chuckled softly and squeezed her hand. "Deal."

As they reached the Fifth floor Corridor, Remus suddenly came to a stop. Before Lisa could ask what was wrong, he put a finger to his lips and slowly crept forward, stopping at the corner where the hallway made a turn.

"Nervous, Reg?" the familiar voice of Avery carried over.

"I-It's just... it's been... I mean..."

"No need to get jittery. You have done your part for the Dark Lord," Rosier's deep voice rumbled as there was a small knocking sound of wood against stone. "What's important is that you show strength. Whatever happens, you must not hesitate. This will be your final test."

There was another sound of moving stone and of footsteps retreating downwards.

Lisa and Remus exchanged worried glances. She peeked carefully around the corner to see the Death Eaters were gone, and realized they were standing in front of the statue of Gregory the Smarmy.

"They're going to Hogsmeade!" she said in alarm and made to follow, when Remus' hand drew her back.

"And what do you think you can do about it?"

"We have to go after them!"

"It's nearly four to one."

"That doesn't matter!"

Remus looked at her with a mixture of worry and consideration. "There are too many of them. We don't even know if they're actually up to anything, and they'll possibly be meeting with more in the village," he said finally.

" _We don't know if they're up to anything?_ " she exclaimed. "They're  _Death Eaters_  and Regulus is on the verge of 'proving himself'! What if we don't stop him and he ends up killing someone? Don't tell me you're seriously thinking about this!"

He stared deep into her chocolate eyes again and saw the passion burning in them, the conviction and the determination he loved so much about her.

"Let's go then," he said, pulling her forward and taking out his wand. "But we'll only follow them. Don't act until you see them doing something they shouldn't."

She nodded as he tapped the nose of the statue and muttered some incantation. It leaped to the side, revealing a dark staircase.

"Don't light up your wand," Remus continued as they stashed their bags behind a tapestry. "They might see it. I know this passage by heart; just hold on to me and keep one hand on the wall."

Lisa nodded again and the two of them plunged into the darkness.

They followed the Slytherins through the tunnel in silence for a while, until a voice they recognized as Avery's spoke.

"He's going to ask about the Sword again."

"There's nothing we can do about the Sword. Fawley doesn't have it in her dorm, she's left it with her parents," Rosier replied.

"Somehow I don't think the Dark Lord will find that answer very satisfactory," Snape sneered.

"It doesn't matter either way. We've tried everything short of kidnapping and questioning her."

"And what are we waiting for? She studies in the Library alone. Let's just wait one day and nab her!" Mulciber exclaimed. Lisa felt Remus' fingers tighten around hers slightly.

"Within plain view of everyone?" Rosier snapped. "The Library is full nowadays with people revising for N.E.W.T.s and O.W.L.s. And her merry band of Gryffindors never leave her alone for too long. That animal she's dating will notice, and the Marauders always have a way of finding what they're looking for. We'll never get enough time to question her properly."

"Why does the Dark Lord want that Sword so desperately anyway?" Regulus asked. "What possible use could he have for it?"

"Maybe he just wants to hang it on his wall. Who gives a toss? He wants it, and he's willing to kill for it. You heard Dolohov last time. He compared us to Wilkes."

The Death Eaters walked in contemplating silence for a few minutes.

"... So, will it hurt?" Regulus asked casually at some point.

"It will, but you can't show it. The others will respect you for it," Rosier advised. "Taking the Mark is a great honor, Regulus. Not everyone is so lucky at such a young age."

Lisa gasped and her hand immediately flew up to cover the sound. Remus stopped walking, his wand at the ready.

"Did you hear something?" Avery said.

"We're close to the village now. Probably footsteps from above," Snape replied without missing a beat.

Lisa wanted to apologize for being such an utter idiot, but didn't dare open her mouth. She and Remus stood still and in silence until the Death Eaters were a bit farther along the tunnel, before he felt secure enough to pull her forward. They caught a glimpse of light as the Slytherins exited through the enchanted wall at the end and Lisa's hand traveled down her side to reach into her school bag for the Invisibility cloak, but all she felt was air. She left the bag back at the tunnel entrance! Lisa wanted to smack herself for the idiot she was. Remus said nothing and very carefully tapped his wand on a certain brick. The wall began shifting and retreating to make room for the exit, when someone shouted  _Expelliarmus!_  and Lisa and Remus' wands flew out of their hands. Five wands were pointed at their chests and Rosier gestured for them to get out into the street.

"So what do we do with them?" Mulciber asked, twisting Lisa arm behind her back. She wrinkled her nose as his breath ticked her neck.

"Not here," Rosier rumbled and made a sign for the others to follow him. They walked in a tight formation so no one would notice Remus and Lisa had wands poking them in the back, and headed to a dark alley, formed between the Hog's Head and the back of Dervish & Banges.

"You know, Fawley, if you dump the werewolf, I can show you what a real beast in bed is like," Mulciber whispered in her ear and she felt his hand travel down her backside. A wave of utter revulsion shot through her body and she jerked forward instinctively, but it was taken as an attempt to escape by the Death Eaters, and she found herself roughly pressed face-first into the wall.

Then there was some sort of commotion behind her, a flash of flame created shadows against the dirty brick wall and she felt the hands holding her disappear. Lisa whirled around just in time to see Avery fly into a pair of rubbish bins and scatter junk everywhere, as Regulus, Snape and Rosier were sprawled across the ground, a thin red trail trickling down the latter's forehead. Remus was standing among them, his fingers squeezing at Mulciber's throat. The Slytherin's feet were hovering slightly above the ground, and despite the venomous glare he was trying to maintain, his face was slowly turning purple. Remus' gaze was no less hate-filled and for the first time ever, Lisa saw the shadow of the wolf upon his human face. Mulciber was on the verge of losing consciousness; his eyes were rolling back into his skull...

In the corner, Avery stirred and raised his wand, but Remus didn't seem to notice him. A spell hit him right in the chest, but all it did was cause him to stagger slightly, though he did loosen his grip on Mulciber, who collapsed on a heap on the floor. Avery stared wide-eyed at Remus and shot another spell at him, but this time he dodged, and it almost hit Lisa. As he was aiming for a third try, a jet of red hit him from the left and he slumped over the bins again. The two Gryffindors exchanged a surprised look and searched for the source of the spell, only to find Regulus Black, holding out a shaky wand. The look on his pale face betrayed his own confusion and horror at what he had just done.

"Regulus..." Lisa tried to say and took an uncertain step forward, but he shot her one last panicked look and Disapparated.

While she was still trying to process what had just happened, Remus bent down to collect their wands from Rosier's fist, grabbed her hand and Apparated them to some dark cellar. There was chatter above and the sound of a store bell rang out merrily, but he drew a trap door on the wooden floor up and dragged her in, pulling it shut behind them.

Lisa lit her wand and found that they were descending a large, worn stone staircase.

"Where are we?" she asked.

"In one of the passages back to Hogwarts," he replied, slowing down a little. "I'm fairly certain only the Marauders know about it, so we should be safe."

"... What  _was_  that out there?" Lisa asked again, after walking in silence for a little while.

"What exactly are you referring to?"

"I'm referring to that spell that hit you in the chest! It looked like a stunning charm, but you didn't even bat an eye."

He kept his eyes on the steps. It took a few minutes for him to answer, but it sounded like he was admitting something incredibly unpleasant. "Werewolves have a certain degree of magical resistance."

"Magical resistance?"

"I haven't tested the limits of it, obviously, but it seems to take at least three or four ordinary wizards to stun one."

Lisa's jaw dropped, and she stopped dead in her tracks. He stopped too, but continued to stare forward stubbornly.

" _Four?_ "

"Depends on their magical ability. That is one of the reasons Voldemort wants them... us... in his army of dark creatures."

"And you didn't think to mention this before?"

"There was no occasion for it."

"And you overpowering five wizards on your own, that was another werewolf thing you didn't think to tell me about?"

"That was... I had the element of surprise..."

"You had Mulciber suspended above ground!"

Remus' whole body tensed and she saw his clenched fists shake slightly. "I shouldn't have... I didn't mean to... "

"Are werewolves... stronger than normal in their human form?" she asked quietly. He nodded. She had always respected his desire to avoid talking about his condition at all cost, but books just couldn't fill certain gaps, and she needed to know. "Do you have better sense of smell and hearing too?" Another nod. Lisa was aware he hated this, but she was starting realize how little she actually knew about his condition while not transformed. "Can you get close to Wolfsbane?"

"Only in small amounts."

"Do you get burned by silver?"

"No."

"Holy water?"

"No."

"Do you have unprovoked fits of rage?"

"No."

"Can you control yourself when transformed?"

"No."

"Are transformations quick?"

"No."

"Are they painful?"

"... Extremely."

The slight wavering in his voice made her stop. That was enough answers for today.

"Are you hurt? I think one of them tried to burn you with fire at some point," she said instead, her voice considerably gentler.

"No, er... that was me. I was trying to distract them," he replied, trying to sound casual again and finally turned to look at her, snapping his fingers softly. A small ball of fire ignited in the palm of his hand, and he held it up to her.

Lisa stared at it, dumbfounded. "What is that?" she asked flatly.

"Just a little something I can do without a wand. Won't burn you much, but it's good as a—"

"Wandless. Magic."

"... Excuse me?"

"You. Can do. Nonverbal. Wandless. Magic."

He stared at her for a second, not sure how to respond. Her face was hard and her nostrils were flaring.

"Yes?"

Lisa slumped down and sat on the stairs, covering her face in her hands with a groan. "Oh, that's great. Just perfect."

"Lisa?" he said worriedly, sinking down next to her. "Are you alright?"

"No, I'm not alright!" she snapped. "When were you going to tell me you could do that?"

"... Are you... cross with me?" he asked, unsure.

"Yes, I'm cross with you! Why do you have to be so perfect?!"

"... P-Perfect?"

"Oh no, it's not enough that you're smart, and charming, and kind, you have to be incredibly powerful, too! Way to make me feel like an equal in this relationship!"

"I..."

"Why do you have to go and make me feel so inferior? Couldn't you have at least  _some_  bloody flaws?"

"The lycanthropy is not enough?!"

"You're away from me when you transform, so why the hell would I care?"

"How about the fact that I have no prospects for a future?" he asked, starting to get a bit amused.

"How about the fact that anyone with a brain would hire you?"

"And the discrimination I'll face?"

"Doesn't make you any less amazing!"

"My frequent crisis?"

"They don't happen every day."

"My commitment issues?"

"You're over it now!"

"The mood swings."

"They're not so bad."

"The scars."

"Scars are sexy."

Remus couldn't hold it in anymore, and his laughter echoed through the tunnel.

"This isn't funny!" Lisa insisted hotly. "I feel like an inadequate child next to you!"

"Lisa," he started softly, "wandless magic is not that uncommon. Many wizards can do it."

"But most can't! Half can't even do silent spells! And you can do both  _simultaneously_! Do you have any idea what this says about you? About your magical power? I mean, I've seen you duel, but this is on a completely different plane! The only person I even know of that can do this is Dumbledore!"

"Voldemort too, most likely," he added, but it only made her groan again and bury her face in her hands.

"Piper was right; I'll never be good enough for you. I can't match you in either intellectual or magical level, you should just go find some incredible witch that would be more suited for you, and I'll crawl up in a broom cupboard and die."

Remus laughed again and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. "Lisa, you're being ridiculous. My level of power, whatever it might be, has nothing to do with  _us_. And as charming as it is that you're trying to downplay the less pleasant aspects of my personality, the truth is that I am far from perfect. And you are not incompetent."

"Oh please! I failed at turning a book into a porcupine today, my shield charms are never as strong as I need them to be, and just an hour ago, I actually convinced you to risk your health in a pointless errand, during which my idiocy got us caught! What did we accomplish by following them, other than almost getting ourselves tortured and killed?"

"Firstly, excluding James and Sirius, no one is instantly good at anything," he said, and it made her chuckle, despite her crappy mood. "If you keep working on them, I'm sure your charms will be just fine. Though for the record, not everyone can even succeed in conjuring that silver shield you are so fond of."

"That shield breaks every time!"

"You just need practice. And I thought we already established that you  _are_  capable of cross-species transfiguration when you put your mind to it. Stop underestimating yourself. Secondly... I'm thankful that you made me go after them."

She turned her head up to stare at him in surprise.

"You are?"

"Yes. You were right; they were obviously up to something bad. It was up to us to stop them; our responsibility to make sure no one got hurt, and yet I was willing to turn around and pretend I knew nothing. I... have done that before, much as I regret it now. You keep reminding me what the right thing to do is, even when I lose sight of it. True, I would like it if you cast at least a cursory glance before leaping, but the fact that you never forget what's important... I quite admire that about you."

Lisa wrapped her arms around his torso and sighed in his chest. He always knew exactly what to say to make her feel better. Just one more thing he was somehow innately excellent at.

"Seriously, why are you so perfect?" she said. 

He rolled his eyes and lifted her chin up to kiss her.


	28. The Shrieking Shack

"Have you seen this?" Lisa asked tersely, sitting down next to James and Sirius in the locker room after Quidditch practice and spreading her lunar calendar on the bench. The two boys leaned in closer.

"What are we looking at?" James said, and she stuck her finger on the calendar.

"You mean next Friday?" Sirius asked, confused.

" _Yes_ , I mean next Friday! It's a Lunar Eclipse," she stated seriously, but her teammates only exchanged a confused glance.

"What about it?"

"What about it!? You can't be out there, that's what!" Lisa exclaimed, starting to get a bit annoyed. Couldn't they see the danger?

"We've been with him during a lunar eclipse before," James threw in casually, immediately grasping her vague meaning. "He gets a bit restless, but it's nothing we can't handle."

"Get your head on straight, Potter!" Lisa snapped. "There hasn't been a full eclipse in three years! Do you even know what happens to him during one? Have you asked? Have you picked up a book on the matter?"

A spark of concern flashed in the boys' eyes as they exchanged another look.

"This one won't be partial or penumbral." She sighed heavily. "It will be a total, perfectly-aligned-planets eclipse! A Blood Moon."

"What does that mean?" James asked tensely.

"It means," Lisa stressed, "that he'll go  _berserk_. It wouldn't matter what form you take, if he lays eyes on you, he'll attack."

The three Gryffindors stared at each other in silence for a couple of minutes.

"We can't just leave him alone," Sirius piped up after a while. "If he really gets more savage than normal, we'll find him in a pool of his own blood in the morning!"

"I know," Lisa whispered desperately. "But if you go near him, he'll kill you."

The boys stared at her as tears threatened to spill from her eyes, but she wiped them fiercely.  _Crying helps no one_ , she reminded herself sternly.

"I think," she started, trying to keep her voice hard, "That we should chain him. I know that would hurt too, but... we don't really have a choice."

"Out of the question," James said firmly. "He was chained up once when he was younger, and it was the worst full moon he could remember. We're not putting him through that again."

"Then what do you suggest?" she snapped.

"I suggest... we talk to Lily."

"That's always what you fall back on." Sirius rolled his eyes, but Lisa caught the underlying meaning.

"You think there's a potion that could help?"

James nodded stiffly. "Maybe some sort of calming draught...or a sleeping potion..."

"Won't that lose effect once he transforms?"

"And good luck making a frenzied werewolf drink potions after," Sirius added.

"There must be something!" James insisted. "And if there is, she'd know about it."

"But potions affect werewolves differently than they do humans," Lisa noted quietly. "Are you suggesting we tell her?"

The boys were once again silent.

"She'll find out eventually..." Sirius drawled.

"It's not your decision to make," Lisa reminded him sharply.

"Then let's talk to him about it." James sighed, getting up. "You're right, Moony should have a say in what we do to him. He has to decide."

* * *

 

oOo

"By the way, Lily, Remus wanted to talk to you about something," Lisa threw in casually the next evening as the two girls and three of the Marauders were sitting together in the common room.

"Really? About what?" Lily asked behind the cover of Marlene's  _Witch Weakly_.

"Didn't say..." Lisa replied elusively, sharing a look with the boys. "But he said it was important. He's feeling a bit under the weather, so he's getting some rest in the dormitory. Said you should go up when you have some free time."

Lily looked up from her magazine and immediately noticed something wasn't right. Peter was fidgeting uncomfortably in his chair, James was resolutely looking out the window—even though it was dark and he probably couldn't see a thing—Sirius was glancing up at the staircase to the dorms every half a second, and Lisa was holding her book backwards.

"Okay..." the redhead said, slowly getting up. "I have some time. Will it be alright if I go now?"

The boys gave her disjointed sounds of agreement and noncommittal shrugs. ' _I hope this lot never have to lie to save their lives_ ,' Lily thought to herself and headed to the stairs.

"We should let them have some privacy..." Sirius said, glancing after her.

"Yes, I mean... this will be a very personal conversation..." Lisa drawled.

"Yeah..." James added, not really listening.

The three of them exchanged a look, sprang from their seats almost simultaneously, and clambered over each other to reach the top of the staircase. Peter trailed after them, hurrying to catch up. The Gryffindors all pressed an ear to the door.

"I don't know, I think it would be easier if I get the essay for Slughorn done first, because it requires the most extensive amount of research, and practicing a spell can take place anywhere, even when you're taking a shower or during prefect rounds, also I think Flitwick is a bit more lenient to..."

"Bloody hell," Sirius whispered. "Is he  _actually_  talking about some homework rubbish?"

Lisa tried to muffle a snicker, and James shushed them.

"I'm sure Slughorn will understand if you ask for a small extension, Remus," Lily's voice came from the other side and they heard footsteps. She was leaving.

"Lily, wait!" Remus called after her, slight notes of panic in his voice. "I, erm, that wasn't really what I wanted to talk to you about."

More footsteps. A soft creak of a mattress.

"Alright. What is it then?"

Silence.

"Lily, there's... there's something that... you don't know about me."

More silence. A sharp intake of breath.

"I'm a werewolf."

Even  _more_  silence.

"I know."

"You... do?"

"I have for a while. Your pattern is not exactly hard to spot... but what really cemented it was last year, when the Death Eaters had you tied up in the forest so you'd bite and convert muggle-borns. Remember that?" He must've nodded, because there was no sound. "And remember how awkwardly Lisa and the others were trying to cover up for you?"

"I had to make something up on the spot!" Lisa hissed and made a face, sending the Marauders into a muffled fit of laughter.

"If you've known for so long... why didn't you say anything?"

"I was waiting for you to be comfortable enough to tell me."

"So you're okay with it?"

"Yeah. You hear that, you nosy gits?"

Suddenly, the door swung open and Lisa, James and Sirius toppled to the floor in a heap of limbs.

"So you're not mad?" Peter asked, peeking around the door frame.

"Of course I'm not mad." Lily rolled her eyes. "Is there any particular reason you decided to tell me  _now_?" Lisa and the Marauders exchanged looks. "I suppose that's a yes."

"You see, Lily," James started, rising to his feet. "There's a little hiccup in this month's full moon."

"It'll be a Blood Moon," Lisa said grimly, helping Sirius up.

"Is that bad?" Lily asked.

"It'll make me... more, er...  _restless_  than usual," Remus explained uncomfortably.

"So we were wondering if there was some... potion or some draught or some  _anything_  that would subdue him while transformed," James added.

"Why would you want him subdued? He goes under the Whomping Willow, doesn't he?" Lily said, earning a startled look from the rest of them. "Sev used to mention that he saw you going down there with Madam Pomfrey. And then in fifth year, when I heard James pulled him out of the tunnel and saved him from whatever was in there..." Lily trailed off. Lisa's eyes darted between each of the boys' faces. She was struck again at just how little she knew about that aspect of his life, though it was not a coincidence. Remus hated talking about his lycanthropy, and Lisa had never thought about it, but she had no idea where he actually went to transform. She just sort of assumed it was in the forest.

"The tunnel leads to the Shrieking Shack," Remus said quietly. "There are no ghosts or spirits in there. I go there to endure the transformation, and when I'm alone..." He smiled bitterly and rolled up his sleeve. Lily gasped and sat beside him on his bed. Then her eyes darted to the others for confirmation of this horrible implication, but everyone was looking away.

"Oh, Remus," Lily said gently, and he gave her a small reassuring smile.

"So, Lily?" Lisa asked hopefully. "Is there anything that can help?"

Lily looked at her friend sadly and shook her head. "I'm sorry... I really wish I could help. But as far as I know, potions to  _help_  werewolves haven't been invented yet."

"So... there's nothing?" Peter chimed in.

"I suppose we could try... Sleeping Draught," Lily said uncertainly. "But the transformation... I don't know if I can make anything strong enough to keep you asleep while your entire bone structure is being rearranged."

"It's alright," Remus said mildly. "I didn't really think there would be anything you could do. I've done a fair amount of research into potions, myself."

"I'm sorry," Lily repeated, and he only smiled sadly at her.

"So that means... plan B then?" Sirius asked grimly.

Lisa exchanged a look with James. The Head Boy gave a short nod.

* * *

 

oOo

It was close to midnight when six students snuck out of the Hogwarts castle under the cover of night and two Invisibility Cloaks. As they neared the tall, angry tree growing on the grounds, a long, discarded stick lept into the air and flew between the swinging branches. It struck the knot on the trunk and the three stilled, as if it was hit by a freezing charm. James, Sirius, Lily, Peter, Lisa and Remus descended one by one into the dark tunnel and six wands illuminated the narrow walls.

Lisa got an odd sense of dread as they slowly advanced. The tunnel was a bit claustrophobic, and she imagined what must've been going through the head of an eleven-year-old Remus, making his way to the Shack for the first time. A cold sensation spilled over her body as she also realized that the place was never haunted. Those cries of pain and sobbing she herself had heard, it was all him. Him, alone and in pain, in an old abandoned building. The thought made her heart sink painfully.

The group walked in silence for about twenty minutes before the tunnel curved upwards and James pushed on a wooden trap door that squeaked loudly. They arrived into a dark room with boarded up windows and a few smashed pieces of furniture.

"Right then. Where should we... set up?" James asked uncertainly, looking around.

"Study," Remus said tightly.

James nodded and walked through a door on the left, followed by the others, but Lisa's attention was caught by something else. She slowly approached a broken full-sized oval mirror, whose middle was completely missing, as only different-sized jagged pieces were left adorning the inside of the frame. Reaching for it as if in a trance, she trailed her fingers on its sharp edges, some of which had congealed blood on them. The wooden backing of the mirror had been scarred with deep, long claw marks, dragging all the way from her eye level to the bottom of the frame. Something moved behind her and, she could see Remus' reflection in the smaller pieces of glass, looking at the mirror sadly.

"So this is where the magic happens," she tried to quip, but her voice came out shaking. Her eyes dropped to the floor and even in the dark, she could still make out the big splotches of blood all over it. "Do you just stand in front of the mirror and wait for it to begin?"

"No," he said quietly.

She saw the mirror image of his hand rise, then fall back to his side. He was hesitating to touch her, as if his hand would frighten her and she would run back to Hogwarts, screaming. Lisa turned around to find him staring wearily at her and reached forward herself.

"There's nothing to be worried about," she said, taking his hand in hers, and for a second, it seemed like he wasn't even breathing. "I already told you, I don't ignore the fact that you're a werewolf. Nothing will scare me away." She squeezed his fingers reassuringly, but he only dropped his gaze. "Hey," she said, placing a palm on his cheek and making him look at her. "Will you show me upstairs?"

He nodded slowly and led her past the room where the others were talking in hushed voices and up the narrow staircase, into what seemed to be a bedroom. There was a big four-poster bed with two nightstands on each side, where a few books were heaped. Remus waved his wand and the lights on the walls came to life, and if it wasn't for the menacing wailing of the wind or the creaking of floorboards coming from the first floor, the room would actually be rather nice.

"Sometimes I bring homework in here," Remus said as Lisa approached and browsed through the books. "Then when the time comes, the big clock downstairs lets me know and I go to the study to transform."

He was still somewhere on the edge between composure and having a nervous breakdown, dangerously leaning towards the latter. He had never let her in this far down, never showed her the Shack before, the place where his darkest, most terrifying side lay bare for her to see. His insides were squirming like snakes and twisting into knots, and he kept expecting her to come across that one thing that would trigger the screaming, that one last straw that would break the camel's back. Maybe it would be that big, clearly distinguished bite mark on the desk in the drawing room or the bloodstains all over the floor, or perhaps the wallpaper, which still bore the marks of his paws. Lisa was looking around curiously, when suddenly she froze on the spot and he felt as if he'd accidentally stepped into a puddle with an exposed wire in it. There it was. She was about to turn around any second now and tell him it was just too much...

Suddenly, Lisa threw her head back in a startlingly loud laughter. Remus almost jumped and stared at her wide-eyed as she reached for a book at the very bottom of the heap.

" ** _The Velveteen Rabbit._** " She turned her head back around and gave Remus a fond smile. The book seemed somehow very out of place in this dark, creepy, half-destroyed building.

"I'd forgotten it was here," he said and approached with his hands in his pockets. "I think I must've brought it when I was eleven."

"My dad used to read this to me when I was little. He always was fascinated with muggle literature..." she said, before noticing the odd expression on his face. "What is it?"

Remus threw her a half-glance and smiled, gently taking the book and running his long fingers along the cover. "I used to relate a bit with the rabbit in this story as a child," he said quietly. "Kids would invite me to play with them sometimes, but I just... always knew they were different than me. I may look human enough, but no matter how normal I try to act, I'm not... I'm not like the rest of you. Just look around you. This is what I'm really like. I'm a Dark Creature, a  _werewolf,_  and I'm dangerous. I'm... a monster."

She looked him straight in the eyes and could almost sense the self-loathing he felt. Her heart shivered painfully again, as if a cold hand had wrapped itself around it. How could someone as wonderful as him think of himself like that? It just boggled the mind. Her hands reached for the book and slowly wrenched it away, throwing it on the bed, where it made a faint ' _flop_ '.

"You are a werewolf, yes. And you  _can_  be dangerous. I  _am_  looking around, but I see more than scarred walls and bloodstains on the floor. I see a pile of books, and chocolate wrappers used as bookmarks, and I see you, afraid to let anyone in, because you may scare them off. But I  _am_  in now. And I see you for what you are, and you  _are not_ a monster. You are what you've always been - yourself. Clever, funny, patient, and so kind... So don't  _ever_  let me hear you say that word again."

Her arms coiled around his neck and pulled him close as her lips connected with his. He was not a monster because he was brilliant, and good, and  _whole_ , and every bit of her wanted to show him that through their kiss. It grew more passionate, more desperate, as their breathing became erratic and their hearts thumped in their ears and—

"A-hem."

They broke apart hastily to see the others had come looking for them.

"We're finished downstairs," Peter said.

"Should we come back another time?" James added with a smirk.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "No need to apologize, Prongs, this wasn't going anywhere. I bet you he hasn't even seen her topless."

Lily shot him an incensed look, but Peter and James sniggered.

"I assure you, Padfoot, there's no place of the female body you've seen that I haven't," Remus said calmly, and Lisa's face burned with embarrassment.

Sirius eyed him skeptically. "Stop pulling my chain, Moony. I know for a fact the two of you haven't hit the sheets yet."

"Of course," Remus replied vaguely and shared a smile with Lisa. "Shall we go back?" he added to her and held out his hand.

"There were no sheets involved, I'll grant you that," she said all of a sudden, then erupted in giggles.

Sirius' jaw dropped, and he gaped at the two of them as they left the room and headed to the tunnel. He exchanged a surprised glance with James, who only shrugged and the others followed.

"No way.  _No way!_  And you didn't tell me?! I tell you everything about my... erm," Sirius glanced at Lily wearily, "my encounters with the fairer sex."

"No one asked for your play-by-play of that," James threw in. "And it's not so much for  _our_  benefit, as much as it is for your bragging rights."

"Beside the point! Moony, you owe us details!"

" _Are you out of your mind?_ " Lisa exclaimed and turned to the chuckling Remus. "If you tell him  _anything_ , I'm dumping you on the spot!"

"Sorry, Padfoot," Remus said in mock apology, still shaking with laughter. "You heard her."

"Same thing goes for you, James!" Lily called from behind. "If I find out you so much as breathed a word about our personal life, it's over."

"Anything you say, Lilypad."

"Both of you are so whipped!" Sirius shouted in frustration, and group laughter echoed in the narrow tunnel. "Women ruin everything!" he muttered under his breath.

* * *

 

oOo

On an average month, Remus would start to feel the effects of the approaching moon about three days before. On a good month, he didn't even have to skip any classes. On a bad month, he would start getting pale and tired about five days before the transformation, his bones would start to ache and his patience would become significantly shorter. On the month of a Blood Moon, he started feeling sick ten days before the moonrise. He tried to make it to Charms on Tuesday, but barely managed to keep conscious until the end of the class and nearly collapsed on top of Sirius as they left the classroom. Madam Pomfrey assured his friends that he was fine, but would need a lot of bed rest during the next few days. They went to visit him every day, whenever they had free time between classes, and though most of the time he was too tired to keep up with the conversation, he still felt incredibly grateful.

Lisa and Lily came to see him on the day of the full moon, and he had to embarrassingly ask them to bring him his overnight bag, as the Marauders managed to land themselves in detention that afternoon. It was a small duffle bag he kept under his bed, which contained a fresh change of clothes, a first aid kit, some chocolate to lift his spirits afterwards and usually any homework he needed to catch up on. The girls agreed and walked into the vacant dormitory, where they found the bag empty.

"He probably didn't have time to put it together before he started getting ill," Lisa noted and placed it unzipped on top of his bed. "I'll get the clothes; there should be some chocolate in his nightstand."

Lily nodded and rifled through the assortment of quills, candy wrappers, inkpots, gobstones and other knick knacks in the drawer, while Lisa knelt down next to his trunk and looked for a clean shirt, when a strange glint of yellow caught her eye.

"What's this doing here?" Lisa asked in surprise, reaching down into the depths of the trunk and pulling out a long yellow scarf with a pink  **L**  embroidered on one end.

"What is it?" Lily asked from the drawer.

"It's... my scarf. Funny... I don't remember bringing it in here..."

Lily looked over her shoulder and reached down to touch it. "Silk, huh? Not really your style. I've never seen you wear it before," she said, and Lisa let her pull it out of her grasp to take a better look.

"That's because I've worn it exactly  _once_ ," Lisa explained, diving into the trunk anew, as Lily draped the scarf around her neck experimentally. "It was a Christmas gift from my Aunt Aubrey and I had to put it on for her last visit three years ago. Mum insisted it went well with my old dress robes, those green ones I had, remember? I must've forgotten it at the bottom of my trunk all this time; Merlin knows I wouldn't have taken it to Hogwarts  _voluntarily_... But how did it end up in Remus' things? I'm sure I haven't taken it out recently..."

Suddenly, she heard sobbing behind her and whirled around. Lily was just standing next to Remus' bed, her eyes swimming with tears.

"Lily?" Lisa sprang to her feet. "Are you okay? What's wrong?" Lily didn't say anything, but her sobs intensified and her hands flew to cover her face. Lisa rushed over and gazed at the other girl worriedly. "Lil? What happened?"

"I... I... d-don't k-know!" Lily choked on her tears and just flung herself forward, wrapping her arms around Lisa's neck tightly.

The blonde just stood there, completely thunderstruck. She had taken her eyes off Lily for only a second, what could've upset her so much in such a short time?

"Tell me what happened," Lisa tried again, patting her friend on the back awkwardly.

"I... I just... you're s-such a g-good friend and... and I... I..." Lily was trembling against her, barely drawing breath.

Lisa was starting to get a little scared. "... Maybe you should sit?" she suggested gently and guided her to Remus' bed, where Lily continued crying and sniffling. "Is it something about James?" Lisa looked round to the Head Boy's bed, searching for anything that might've set Lily off, when the other girl tried to dry her tears with the end of the yellow scarf, but only ended up exploding into a new fit of violent sobs.

"Lily, you're starting to worry me..."

"I feel... I just... I..." Lily blubbered, and Lisa continued rubbing her back comfortingly.

"I'll get you a glass of water. Okay?"

Lily nodded, and Lisa slipped into the bathroom, conjuring a goblet and filling it with water from the sink while musing about Lily's strange outburst. What on Earth could've unhinged her to such a degree? She wasn't one for crying over small things... It was just so bizarre. When Lisa walked back into the room she sighed with relief, seeing her friend had stopped crying and was crumpling the yellow scarf in her hands.

"Here," she said, handing Lily the goblet. She dried it in one gulp. "You feeling better?"

Lily nodded and wiped away the last of her tears. "Sorry," she mumbled. "I don't know what came over me..."

"It's alright. What happened? Did you see something that upset you?"

"No... I didn't." Lily frowned. "I honestly have no idea what happened. One second you were telling me about your old green robes and the next... I just..." She gestured vaguely with the scarf in her hand. Her wave froze in mid-air, her brows furrowed, and she stared at it intently. "You said this was yours, right?"

"Yeah," Lisa said slowly. "Though I have no idea what it's doing here."

"When was the last time you saw it?"

"I don't know... probably years ago. Why?"

Lily dropped the piece of fabric to the floor and pointed her wand at it. " _Specialis Revelio!_ "

The scarf floated a few feet into the air and began to glow with an ominous pink light.

"It's been charmed," Lily concluded.

Lisa stared at it in surprise and for a long minute, none of them spoke. "Charmed to do what? Make people sob their hearts out?" she asked finally.

"It wasn't enchanted to make you cry," Lily said thoughtfully, levitating the strip of cloth up to her eye level and inspecting it carefully. "It looks like some sort of Entrancing Charm. I think it might...  _intensify_  someone's feelings."

Lisa's eyebrows traveled so far up her forehead, they almost blended with her hair. "What?"

"When I put it on... I was just...  _overwhelmed_  by emotion. Blood rushed into my head and there was this... sensation. A bit like when you're under Imperius. But those weren't new feelings... I mean, everything just sort of... tangled... it's hard to explain."

"Okay..." Lisa drawled uncertainly. "What feelings did it intensify?"

Lily seemed to think over her answer carefully. "My feelings for you, I think."

"For  _me_?"

"Yeah. Everything was sort of cloudy in my head, but there was this worry and sadness there, the same, I think, I feel when I think of you."

"Nice to know thinking of me makes you cry," Lisa said dryly.

"No, I just... because you've been through a lot with the Death Eaters, and your family, and you have to deal with Remus'... problem. When I think about it, it makes me feel..."

"Pity?" Lisa supplied coolly.

"No, not pity... exactly. Just...  _sympathy_ ," Lily tried to explain anxiously. Lisa gave her a skeptical look, but decided not to press the issue. "At any rate, this scarf has been enchanted to intensify the wearer's emotions towards the original owner—you—to the point they cloud his or her mind. The question is... why?" Lily said thoughtfully.

"And  _how_ ," Lisa added. "I'd forgotten I even had this thing. How did anyone get their hands on it?"

"Snuck into the dorm?"

"Not a chance. Do you even know how many spells and charms I put on that place before we leave for class? Believe me, I would have known if anyone so much as  _sneezed_ near the room. Not to mention someone would have to take out most the stuff out of my trunk to... find... this..."

Lisa and Lily exchanged a look, and they both knew the other had thought of the same thing.

"Did you check if something was missing after the dorm was ransacked?" Lily asked to make sure.

"Only the important things... books and potion supplies and such..." Lisa replied slowly. "You think... one of the impostors?

"Who else would even have a chance? Remus couldn't have taken it, none of the Marauders could. So the only way this scarf got in here..."

"... is if someone gave it to him. One of the girls that were pretending to be you that we left in our dorm..."

The gears in Lisa's head were turning with full steam. Dorcas said the other girl was from a house different than Slytherin. It was someone who would know the Gryffindor girls at least in passing to try to fool them. The scarf was enchanted to intensify emotion so much it clouded your mind. There was a high chance that Piper knew Gott and Avery.

" _Accio Map!_ " Lisa said suddenly, and a thick piece of parchment flew out from Sirius' things and right into her hand.

"What's that?" Lily questioned, but Lisa just spread it on the bed and tapped it with her wand.

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

The Marauder's Map showed itself immediately and Lisa scanned the hundreds of tiny dots moving around on it as Lily was staring at it in amazement. When she spotted Piper strolling casually down the Charms corridor, luckily alone, Lisa shot up from the bed and ran out of the room, rage thumping in her ears.


	29. A Viper in the Lion's Den

Lisa woke up with a spinning headache.

The top of her head hurt like it was split in half, but she didn't remember hitting it... She tried to raise a hand to her temple, but something was stopping her. Chains? The fog cleared from her mind a bit, and she looked around slowly. She was lying on the hard wooden floor of a rickety old house. The windows were boarded up, and in the dim light of the chandelier, Lisa could see the peeled and even ripped at places wallpaper, a nearby chair smashed to splinters, and a wooden heap along one wall, which at one point was probably a desk, judging by the bigger pieces. Other remnants of broken furniture were also scattered all around, and the walls and floor themselves were covered in brown stains. Lisa's hands and legs were bound by very heavy shackles, which were fastened to the ground. An uncomfortable metal collar hung loosely around her neck. The thick metal links that ran from it to the floor still prevented her from lifting her head too high.

"Finally awake, huh?" said a voice from the corner, and Lisa's eyes snapped in its direction. Piper was perched atop a green, thorn and turned over armchair, wand in hand. "I wouldn't move too much if I were you."

Memories flooded Lisa's mind, and she vaguely remembered charging at Piper, intent on giving her the butt-kicking of a lifetime, when a hex hit her right in the face.

"What are you doing?" Lisa asked, still a bit dizzy. "What is this place?"

"This," Piper made a wide gesture with her hand, "is where you will die."

"Huh. Always imagined something cleaner... couldn't spring for a nicer hotel room?" Lisa said, trying to concentrate despite the wild spinning of her head.

"This isn't a hotel room. And I wasn't kidding. You've been in the way too long."

"Yes, and Remus will fall in your open arms when you tell him you killed me," Lisa said dryly. "Brilliant plan."

"Joke, if it'll make it easier for you. I don't really mind."

"Clearly, otherwise you would've gagged me," Lisa noted and pulled on the chains experimentally. They didn't budge. "A simple love potion would've saved you the effort of dragging me all the way out here, you know."

"I already tried it," Piper admitted in a bored tone. "After the Quidditch game against Slytherin. It worked at first, but when he saw you, it seemed to... Break it? Redirect it? I'm not really sure what happened. It must go awry if real Love is already present."

"Is that why you tried enchanting something that was already mine? To get around that by misdirecting what's already there?" Lisa growled, suddenly remembering why she had hunted Piper down in the first place.

"Worked, didn't it?" Piper shrugged with a grin. "And if you'd only let him be after that, you wouldn't be in this mess."

"So sorry I ruined your plans to seduce my boyfriend. Shall I send you an apology card?" Lisa pulled on the chains again, sharply this time. Suddenly, the metal links sank deeper into the floor, making her crash into it face-first.

"I told you not to struggle."

"Excuse me if I take everything you say with a grain of salt from now on," Lisa growled, picking herself up slightly. "You weren't really snogging Remus for weeks before I found out, were you."

"He's not really my type." The brunette shrugged again indifferently. "To be honest, though, I didn't think it'd be this hard to get him to touch me. You'd think a bloke like him would be happy to have a girl throwing herself at him. There aren't that many that are willing to do it, are there?"

Anger bubbled inside Lisa, but something Piper said cut through the confusion in her brain. "How could you chase after someone so fiercely if he 'wasn't your type'?" she asked, trying to keep herself from lunging at the other girl and wrapping her hands around her throat.

"It's true enough I chased after him. But I never really  _cared_  about him. He is good-looking, I'll give you that, but to tell you the truth I think he's kinda boring."

"And what the hell is  _that_  supposed to mean?" Lisa snarled, starting to hear the distinct pounding of rage in her head.

"It means he's  _dull_. I swear to Merlin, sometimes he almost puts me to sleep... how  _do_  you stand it when he goes off on some long-winded lecture about some magical creature no one cares about or how good some stupid muggle is at writing poetry? There's a reason why Black gets all the girls, you know..."

"If he's so dull, why did you bother trying to break us up?" Lisa interrupted angrily.

"What's the point in telling you?" Piper drawled, playing with her wand. "You're going to die any minute now..."

"Why are you putting it off then?" Lisa snapped. "Just get it over with."

"Oh no,  _I'm_  not going to be the one that kills you. Remus is."

Lisa's heart stopped beating for a long second, and her wide eyes went over the room again. The ripped wallpaper. The broken furniture. The brown spots.

"We're in the Shrieking Shack," she muttered in horror.

"Finally caught on, did you? Those chains are a courtesy of our dear Head Boy, by the way. I should remember to thank him." Piper smirked menacingly.

Lisa stared at the sight, completely dumbstruck. She always knew there was something off about this girl, but... At that moment, they heard a creak and slow footsteps as the tired, sullen figure of Remus Lupin opened the door wide. His eyes fell on the chained up Lisa, and he drew his wand so quickly, the girls didn't even see it leave the robes.

"Uh-uh-uh," Piper hummed, her own wand pointed at Lisa. "Careful there. You wouldn't want me to blow your girlfriend to pieces."

Remus' eyes darted to her quickly, before going back to Piper. "What do you want?" he asked.

"I want you to give me your wand," she said sweetly.

His hand was steady, but Lisa could tell the gears in his head were turning a mile a minute. He was considering it.

"Don't you dare," she said to him from the floor.

Piper casually flicked her wand and hit her with an unexpectedly strong Cruciatus. Being caught unawares, Lisa let out an agonizing scream that made an ice-cold shiver run down Remus' spine. He held his hands up in surrender. Piper stopped the curse and held up her free hand expectantly.

"You... idiot," Lisa wheezed when he took three very careful steps forward and turned over his wand.

"What a good werewolf you are." Piper grinned. "With a little work, you'll make an excellent Alpha."

"Is that what I was in the way of?" Lisa asked as Remus took a protective step between her and Piper. That conversation she had with her in the empty classroom. The words of the tattered werewolf that hunted Remus down during Christmas. It all suddenly made sense. "You think it's because of me he won't join the werewolves?"

"It doesn't matter what I think," Piper replied vaguely and made for the passage, wands aimed at Remus' chest. "It matters what everyone else will think after tonight. A foolish girl lured to an out-of-the-way building and killed by a savage werewolf. News will spread like wildfire; not even Dumbledore can save you from that one. The old fool will finally be forced out as Headmaster once the parents learn  _what_  he's been harboring so close to their children... and the Dark Lord will finally have control of Hogwarts. Not to worry though, you won't stay long in Azkaban.  _If_  you accept His offer. You really should have let me bring you over willingly when you had the chance, Remus. At least you would've gotten a few nights with me, and I  _guarantee_  they would have been a lot more pleasant than this one. Ciao."

She slammed the entrance shut, and blue light shone on the other end as she sealed it off magically. Remus rushed over and tried to pry it open.

"Remus," Lisa called, but he didn't seem to hear. He ran over to the window and pulled uselessly on the boards. "Remus," she beckoned again, but he just started pacing around the room frantically. "Remus!" she shouted. He knelt down next to her and started pulling on the chains binding her to the floor. "REMUS!" she repeated even louder, but he was too busy pulling. "Snap out of it!"

His arms hung uselessly beside him, eyes fixed on the ground. Then his whole body shivered, then his hands flew up into his hair and started tugging. Lisa tried to reach out to him, but the sudden movement caused the chains to sink down again.

"Calm down," she tried again. "You're not going to hurt me."

His head shook in that annoying way when he was in denial and still refused to look at her. This was his worst nightmare come to life. His dreaded lycanthropy would finally force him to take a life, and it would be  _hers_. He'd had so many nightmares about it, about hurting her, about ripping pieces of her with his jaws and tasting her warm blood. And now that was about to become his reality and the sheer  _weight_  of that thought was almost crushing him. She was calling him, but all he could hear was the deafening beating of his own evil heart. If he had never fallen in love with her, none of this would be...

"Moony!"

He looked up sharply at the sound of his nickname, mostly a reflex engraved in him after the many stinging jinxes and balled up parchments he'd taken over the years from the Marauder for thinking too much instead of planning pranks.

"We don't have time for mental breakdowns," Lisa scolded him. "That twat forgot to take my wand. It's in my pocket, I can still feel it."

He stared at her, stunned. Then he flung himself forward and rifled through her robes fervently, until his fingers found the tip of the wand. He held it up to the chains and they immediately fell off.

"Merlin those things were heavy," Lisa muttered, massaging her sore neck when he drew her in a tight hug. "There, was it so hard to listen to me before resorting to panic?" she said softly with a comforting caress.

"I've never been so grateful to have come down here early," Remus breathed and held her close as his heartbeat slowly normalized. Then suddenly his whole body tensed again, and he held her at arm's length. "You have to get out of here," he said hastily and got to his feet, pointing Lisa's wand at the trap door. It flew up, and he helped her rise to her feet.

"You bet I do," Lisa growled. She was going to  _kill_  Piper. Remus handed her the wand, and she hesitated. "Should I...?" Lisa inclined her head towards the chains, which lay discarded on the floor.

He nodded grimly and sat down on the ground. She gave him a sympathetic look before waving her wand and causing the shackles to close around his limbs and neck.

"They really are heavy," he observed, lifting his right hand wearily. Lisa knelt down and gave him a hug. "Go," he said. She kissed his forehead, promised she'd come to get him to the Hospital Wing herself in the morning, and ran to the tunnel entrance.

She walked as fast as she could while having to hunch down through the narrow tunnel, her thoughts of Piper fueling her rage. That sodding traitor, when Lisa got her hands on her, she'd lie in the Hospital Wing for weeks! Even if she had succeeded in killing her in the Shack, Remus would have never agreed to join Voldemort. There were other things tying him to the Order: his friends, Dumbledore, his sense of honor. Lisa knew very well that she was not his reason for turning down the werewolves, it just went against everything he stood for. And that was exactly what she loved about him. But Piper, in her idiocy, thought it was all over a girl. That little idiot! At least when Lisa thought Piper was just lusting after Remus, she could've understood! But she was seducing him and found him  _boring_? His lectures on Kappas were  _fascinating_ , and his analysis of Pablo Neruda's poetry was  _insightful and interesting_! Piper clearly had no understanding of entertainment whatsoever! Oh, and there was the whole 'chaining her up and leaving her for dead' thing. How stupid could she be, not to search her for a wand? Clearly, she didn't have much experience outside of Hogwarts.

Getting more and more annoyed with every step, Lisa saw a sliver of light at the end of the tunnel at last and finally made it to the Whomping Willow. Clambering out of the hole in its roots, she marveled for a moment at the heavy branches frozen in mid-swing, then her gaze quickly swept the grounds. How far behind Piper was she? It couldn't have been more than ten minutes... Suddenly, she registered movement out of the corner of her eye and saw a short silhouette was walking determinately down the path to Hogsmeade. What was she doing? Why wasn't she returning to the school?

* * *

oOo

_What is this girl up to?_ Lisa thought twenty minutes later as she quietly crept after Piper, who did not turn towards the village, but instead headed in the direction of the woods. Looking up to the sky, she supposed there was about an hour or so before the moonrise, yet for some reason Piper dragged her to the Shack at least two or three hours before Remus would change. Was it so she would have enough time to escape? How did she even know he would be there so early? Was she planning to just sit there and wait for hours until he showed up? Did she even  _have_  a clear plan?! Then again, maybe she did, and Lisa threw a monkey wrench in it when she hunted her down after discovering the scarf?

Piper stopped abruptly, and Lisa's musings were suddenly interrupted. A rustling sound close from a nearby bush made her jump.

"Is it done then?" called a gruff voice from the trees, and Lisa's whole body froze up. The elbow length blond dreadlocks and the yellow feral eyes of the man that stepped forward through the foliage were instantly recognizable.

Piper straightened up. "Yes, Lycaon, I did what I was ordered. It shouldn't take much longer."

The man took a step forward, then suddenly his hand rose and he struck her across the face. "Stupid girl... I kept telling the Dark Lord he shouldn't leave such tasks in the hands of children."

Lisa watched the scene enfold closely, half-hidden behind a bush, when a strong arm wrapped around her neck from behind and another closed around her wrist painfully, causing her to drop her wand. She tried to scream, but the headlock she was in wouldn't allow enough air in her lungs.

"Took care of it, did you? Then what is she doing here?" Lycaon snarled at Piper, and the girl's face turned white.

The rough hands that were holding her pushed Lisa forward, and as she stumbled towards Piper and the werewolf she saw his entire pack was standing further back behind him. Nearly a dozen fully-grown werewolves, about to transform under a Blood Moon. And she didn't even have a wand.


	30. Blood Moon

 

Lisa's heart was beating so violently in her chest, she thought it might break through the ribcage.

"Well, well, well. The pretty little bird has nothing to sing?" the man named Lycaon said, dragging his dirty nails over Lisa's cheek. "I don't suppose we'll have enough time to...  _persuade_  you to tell us how you got away. It doesn't matter though, since we caught you..."

Lisa felt as if a whole bucket of ice was thrown over her head. She remembered the words Frank yelled at her in that muggle taxi on the 1st of September. Once again, her brash impulsiveness and sheer  _stupidity_  were about to end in tragedy. If she had only gone back to the castle...

"And what do we do with her?" the person holding her growled. "We could keep her to ourselves... have a bit of a hunt."

"She is not meant for you, Bordwell," Lycaon said. "If the birdie has escaped her cage, we'll just have to shove her back in. Come on."

The whole pack, along with Lisa and Piper, started walking at a brisk pace. Lisa's brain was working at full speed. Her options were very limited. Nonexistent, actually. She couldn't overpower them, she couldn't outrun them, and there was definitely no chance of pleading... or was there? She could try to stall. If she wasted enough of their time with bullshit, they might transform before they reached the Shack. And while that was all well and good,  _she would be left wandless with about a dozen frenzied werewolves!_  How could she even begin to untangle this mess?

With the corner of her eye, Lisa could still see Piper walking with the pack and wondered why they bothered to drag her along. They had no more use for her... Oh no. They had no more use for her. They were going to kill her. Lisa's heart thumped painfully against her chest, and she tried for all she was worth to keep up the composed appearance and not start shouting at Piper to run. The little idiot still seemed oblivious as she willingly trekked forward, not even noticing the semi-circle of men around her, who were obviously there to prevent her from escaping. Lisa had to tip her off without being too obvious... But how? She was never good at subtleties and hints like Dorcas was...

"So, Piper, how long have you been a Death Eater?" she said, involuntarily straightening her posture in a pale imitation of her best friend.

"I don't see how that's any of your business," Piper snapped.

"No need to get so defensive. I'm just confused. There must've been someone else in Gryffindor the Dark Lord could have given such a simple task to. Bring over the werewolf. Those were your orders, weren't they? Pretty simple thing to  _not_  mess up."

"I wouldn't have messed up if you were out of the picture!"

"Oh sure, blame your uselessness on me. That's very mature."

"I am not useless!" Piper shrieked, and a few werewolves growled warningly at her. "The Dark Lord gave me that task personally!"

"At which you've been failing at for how long now? About seven months? You must be something really special, if he's willing to be that patient with you..."

"He gave me very specific instructions for tonight and promised me when it was done I would be re-"

"Yes, and we all know how he rewards worthless school girls, that can't even do the  _one thing_  he asked of them," Lisa said bitingly. "I'm sure that's why your next order was to meet with a werewolf pack in the forest right before a full moon and  _not_  to lay low in the castle."

Piper stopped dead in her tracks, as did the men surrounding her. Her eyes traveled from face to face, finally realizing the danger she was in. One of the werewolves lunged forward and knocked the wand out of her hand. Another hitch in the bloody plan!  _Why_  for the love of Merlin's right nose hairs didn't she Disapparate immediately?

Four members of the pack took menacing steps forward, seized Piper by the forearms, and shoved her towards Lisa. She staggered and Lisa caught her, feeling as if the bottom of her stomach fell through. This was backfiring so badly!

"You're making a mistake!" Piper shrieked. "I am the Dark Lord's spy in Gryffindor! I am His loyal servant, I-"

"You are a silly schoolgirl," the man named Lycaon growled. "Did you really think you're irreplaceable?"

Piper's face paled as one of the werewolves caught her elbow and roughly pulled her forward. Another one pushed Lisa's back, and she stumbled through the darkness.

"Let's get a move on," Lycaon said to the rest of the pack. "We don't have much time before moonrise, and these two little birds need to be back in the Shack."

The werewolves shoved and dragged the two girls forward, while Lisa's fingers coiled around the rounded base of the nicked wand in her sleeve. As usual, there was another glaring hole in her plan. It was a sheer stroke of dumb luck that they shoved Piper so hard she stumbled into her, but thanks to that timely distraction, Lisa managed to get her hands on Remus' wand from the inside pocket of Piper's robes. But now what? She could just Apparate to safety, but they still had Piper, and would probably still take her to the sodding Shack. And Remus was still there. Chained up. She had to stop them, but how? Even with a wand, she'd never survive a battle like this. Okay, more thinking. There  _has_  to be some way...

Soon the woods started to thin out, and Lisa could see the top of the Shrieking Shack. They were almost there! But even if there  _was_  something she could do, Lisa was drawing a blank. She had nothing. In about ten minutes, they would make it and she would lose... Tears tightened her throat and stung her eyes. This was all her fault. All of it. If she had listened to what everyone always told her, if she only controlled her temper more, if she wasn't so impulsive all the time, if she spared a  single thought about consequences... She was an idiot and she made mistakes, but this time... it would be Remus that paid the price. And the thought of it pierced her heart like a cold blade.

 _Tears help no one!_ she scolded herself again _. Think! There must be something!_  What would the others do? James would keep it light, use jokes. He would... distract them. He would make some kind of spectacle of himself. Lisa cringed at the thought. She could never be as theatrical as James. Remus would no doubt know some obscure spell and turn the ground into quicksand or something... Sirius would turn into a dog and run for Hogsmeade to hide in a rubbish bin... Lily would Disapparate and call for Dumbledore, which wouldn't be a bad plan, assuming she could get to him on time. Peter would panic and drop his wand.

There was no way out of this. She had to fight. Put up one last, desperate struggle, and probably get killed in the process. Lisa's fingers tightened around Remus' wand, when...

Suddenly, a blood-chilling howl echoed through the twilight. The pack jerked their heads around nervously. Lisa glanced at the sky. The moon wasn't out yet, and none of them were transforming. What was happening?

Another howl. Closer. Rustling of leaves. A low, dangerous growl, coming seemingly from everywhere and nowhere all at once.

And then Lisa saw them. A pair of piercing icy-blue eyes.

The growling intensified and wolves began to emerge from all sides, surrounding the werewolf pack. Piper looked like she might faint. Lycaon bared his fangs. Lisa didn't know if she should feel relieved or even more terrified.

The two Gryffindors' eyes crossed, and Lisa mouthed silently ' _Run_ '. Piper gave the tiniest nod and after a quick sweeping look of the confused pack, she tore off into the forest. The men tried to follow, but two wolves jumped in their path, fangs bared and eyes blazing. Lisa gripped the wand tighter. _Now!_  she thought, but as soon as she made the first step, a horrifying snapping sound came from one of the werewolves.

It was as if someone had cracked a whole bundle of dry sticks. Soon the sounds echoed all around her, and with a quick glance towards the sky, she realized they were transforming. The men hunched forward as the sounds intensified in volume and frequency, their matted hair whipping back as new stubble sprouted all over their hands and face. Some growled when their jaws snapped menacingly as their teeth grew longer and their faces stretched into snouts. Most quickly fell to support themselves on their arms as the bones in their legs rearranged painfully into differently structured limbs. From where she stood, Lisa could hear the same thing happening to Remus, his cries of anguish carrying clearly from the Shrieking Shack.

She stood there, paralyzed, as the wolf pack gathered around her, and the brown wolf that had allowed her to pet him in the Forbidden Forest nudged her knee. She staggered, found her balance and shook her head violently. She really must stop freezing up like that! With a last look towards the still-transforming werewolves, Lisa spun on her heel and Disapparated, materializing at the edge of the forest. Before she could take two steps towards Hogwarts, a long, savage howl reached her ears. She turned around instinctively and her eyes fell on the quiet, peaceful village of Hogsmeade. A village full of people. And children.

Lisa hesitated for only a second, but her brows furrowed in resolve and she spun again, only to reappear on the rooftop of the Hog's Head. People were still roaming the streets, and she was surprised no one seemed all that alarmed by the howls coming from the woods. They had become used to it, Lisa guessed, because of Remus and the Shrieking Shack, and no one could recognize the actual danger all of them were in! _This time it has to work,_ she thought fiercely, _it_ _has_ _to._  But as she lifted the wand, doubt started creeping in. She had attempted  _Protego Horribilis_  over a dozen times, and the only time it worked was in Mulciber Manor. It was such a complicated spell, and the village was quite large...

Her eyes fell on Remus' wand in her hand. If he were here, he could probably do it better than her. He was better at everything... but wait. He  _was_  here, in a sense. Lisa closed her eyes and nearly felt his hand rest on hers and adjust her aim. She could almost hear his voice mutter in her ear, _No, you're raising it too much. Shoulder_   _length._

" _Protego Horribilis,_ " she whispered. The wind picked up around her, and she felt warmth radiating from the wand, being absorbed in her fingers. " _Protego Maxima. Fianto Duri. Repello Inimicum_ _._ " Lisa continued muttering incantations, every defensive enchantment she had practiced or read about, every single spell at her disposal. The people on the streets gasped. When her eyes slowly opened again, she saw that the many shielding charms had formed an almost translucent barrier around Hogsmeade, glowing with magic. There were murmurs from below; the villagers were starting to notice her.

"People of Hogsmeade!" Lisa shouted, casting a silent Sonorus charm on herself. "There is a highly dangerous pack of werewolves roaming the woods! Go inside and put Shield Charms on all the doors and windows! Tonight's Lunar Eclipse will make them especially vicious, so keep your children close and if they come into the village, don't hesitate to Disapparate!"

People started moving and yelling down on the street. Lisa turned her gaze to the forest again, and an unpleasant thought popping in her mind. That twit Piper allowed the werewolves to knock her wand away. Then she had run, only seconds before the transformations started.

The white moonlight gave way to an ominous shadow, and Lisa looked up to the sky to see the moon being overtaken by darkness, as if someone had taken a bite out of it. Soon the shadow began to fill in the color of blood, until it slowly overtook the natural hue of the whole moon. The people of Hogsmeade started panicking even more, and a choir of howls echoed through the night. Lisa's eyes snapped back to the forest. Piper was in there. And she was doomed. Unless...

Her mind fluttered to her friends again. Dorcas and Frank would be furious, not to mention Remus would have a heart attack if he got wind of what she was about to do. Sirius would call her reckless, Peter might even faint. But James would understand. And so would Lily. She would look at her with those big green eyes, and just tell her to be careful. It was not a smart thing to do, but Lisa knew every single one of them would make the same choice. She took three deep breaths, squeezed Remus' wand for reassurance and spun.

* * *

oOo

Lisa crept through the forest, hoping to Merlin Piper had the good sense to run in the direction of the castle. Her wand hand was shaking slightly, but she tightened her hold on it to strengthen her resolve. A werewolf could jump out at any second and kill her or worse,  _turn her_. The latter was at least unlikely, as the Blood Moon wouldn't leave them with enough self-control for that. But still, walking blindly through the woods was not the most efficient search-and-rescue tactic. Lisa was never very good at tracking spells, and it showed. She sighed soundlessly, but lacking a choice in the matter, slowly advanced in the direction of Piper's run, coming to a full stop every time she so much as  _breathed_  too loudly. After about twenty  _very_  tense minutes that felt like hours, something did rustle in a nearby bush. Lisa lifted her wand and braced herself, but after a sad whimper, it turned out to be the black Alpha from the Hogwarts pack. It was bleeding heavily from the shoulder. and Lisa immediately rushed to it and healed the wound. The wolf gave her a grateful lick on the cheek. She tried to keep in the disgust of its blood-scented breath.

"Listen," she whispered, looking straight into the intelligent blue eyes. "I need to find that girl that was with the werewolves. Can you help?"

The wolf inclined its head to the side in a silent question.

"If I don't find her, she'll die. I'm going with or without you, but your nose will help my chances."

The wolf stared at her for a long moment, before lifting its head in the air and sniffing it. Catching the scent rather quickly, it stalked wearily through the forest, followed closely by Lisa. After a little while, a high-pitched shriek cut through the air somewhere nearby. Lisa and the wolf broke into a run, and the Gryffindor couldn't help wanting to smack Piper for being such an idiot. Howls sounded from every direction. Lisa's heart was beating like a battering ram as she realized she was sprinting towards certain death.


	31. Consequences

Remus woke up on the hard wooden floor, the sharp scent of blood hitting his nostrils. He allowed himself a little bit of silent laying, so the familiar ache in his bones could subside, before slowly pushing himself up to a sitting position. There was a piercing pain in his neck; some warm blood had congealed in his hair and streaked down his clothes. His ankles seemed to be likewise bloodied, and one of them felt broken, but the real damage was on his arms. The wolf had managed to chew a little on his right one — it hurt just looking at it. His arms seemed to be a preferred gnawing area for the beast throughout the years, possibly because of their convenience, so it was a bit of a relief that the new scars wouldn't make that much of a difference. Overall, he'd had worse full moons, Remus decided, watching a bit of dust swirl in the sunlight.

He adjusted his clothes with a bit of difficulty, as they had miraculously clung to his body for the most part. After a few minutes, he heard footsteps in the next room and his mood lifted ever so slightly. Lisa promised she'd come to him first thing in the morning, and right now he wouldn't mind burying his face in her hair and just resting there for a little bit. But when his hopeful eyes turned to the door, it was Sirius that walked in, followed by James, Lily and Peter. James' wand made a wide arch in the air, and the chains fell to the ground. Lily knelt down hastily and opened the med-kit from Remus' duffel bag.

"Thank you," Remus muttered hoarsely to James, who only nodded. The young werewolf noticed his friends seemed a little tense. "Isn't Lisa with you?"

Peter's eyes snapped to James uncertainly, then moved to Sirius. Sirius looked like he was forced to swallow a whole bucket of bubotuber puss, and was it Remus' imagination, or did James' jaw tighten at the question? At that moment, Lily poured some stinging potion on his raw skin, which made him wince.

"She's in bed," the redhead said evenly, wrapping white bandages around his injured arm. "She needs rest after what happened with Piper Spudgen last night."

"Oh, no," Remus groaned. "She did something rash again, didn't she?"

No one answered, but Lily gave a slight nod and proceeded to clean and bandage his neck. After she patched him up and Sirius helped him to his shaky feet, the group headed back through the narrow tunnel to Hogwarts in complete silence.

"So what happened?" Remus asked once they were out of range of the Whomping Willow and crossing the school grounds. James and Sirius exchanged one of their signature glances, and Peter and Lily were quiet. "Can't be worse than the exploding Quaffle, can it?" Remus added jokingly, trying to lighten the mood.

"It is," Sirius muttered under his breath. Remus' head snapped to him as James shot him a reprimanding glare. "He's going to find out eventually," Sirius muttered to his shoelaces.

"Find out what?" Remus asked, worry starting to colour his words. "Find out  _what_?" he repeated towards James when Sirius didn't answer. His friends were resolutely looking away.

"Remus," Lily started gently. "Lisa... got involved in something last night..."

"What are you talking about? I thought you said she was in bed," Remus said, a heavy sense of dread creeping in his stomach.

"She  _is_  in a bed. In the Hospital Wing," James said quietly.

Remus stopped dead in his tracks. "Why?"

"A pack of werewolves attacked Hogsmeade last night!" Sirius blurted out.

"She and Piper were in the woods," James added, staring at his friend's horrified face sympathetically. "We don't know why yet. They wouldn't let us see her."

Remus couldn't breathe. He didn't wait to hear more and tore as fast as he could towards the castle, ignoring the painful screams of his bleeding ankles and sore muscles. Lily made to follow, but James' fingers wrapped around her wrist.

"Let them have some privacy. He needs to see her. And to... process."

Lily nodded, and she and the Marauders started their slow trek to the Hospital Wing.

* * *

oOo

Remus ran all the way to the Hospital Wing, only to stop once he was in view of the door. He leaned with one hand against the wall and panted heavily. Would they even let him in? What exactly happened last night? Madam Pomfrey hadn't let the others see her, which must mean it was serious. Was she mauled? Disfigured? ... Alive?

The doors opened and a very grave-looking Dumbledore exited, followed closely by McGonagall.

The Transfiguration Professor wrung her hands in worry. "So what now, Dumbledore? She'll have to live like this... forever?"

"I'm afraid so, Minerva. There is no cure."

"But her life was still ahead of her! What are we supposed to tell her parents?"

"The truth, I expect. She snuck out after hours beyond the school boundaries and voluntarily got involved with the dealings of a werewolf pack. There was nothing we could've done."

"But... what about the... the  _condition_? Will she share the Shack with Lupin? Is it wise to have two werewolves so near to each other in an enclosed space?"

Dumbledore sighed sadly and took off his half-moon glasses to place two fingers at the base of his crooked nose. "First we must speak to the parents. They should be arriving shortly..." Dumbledore's speech ceased, as he spotted Remus' pale, horrified face staring at him across the hall. "Ah, Mr. Lupin. You have heard...?" Remus nodded weakly. "Very well. Tell Madam Pomfrey you have my permission to see her," the Headmaster said gently.

Remus nodded again and moved to the door as if in a dream. His whole body felt numb. The entire ward was empty, save two opposite beds, with the curtains drawn around them. He met Madam Pomfrey's eyes, and without him having to ask anything at all, she inclined her head to the right-side bed. He swallowed hard. His hand was shaking as he lifted it and clutched the light green curtains.

When he drew them apart and saw her there, his chest tightened painfully. Lisa was sitting up in the bed, reading a copy of  ** _A Tale of Two Cities_**  he faintly recognised as one of his own books, which he had left in the Hospital Wing in case a really bad transformation necessitated bed rest. She was wearing an open-back green hospital gown that clearly showed the bandages around her torso and left shoulder, as well as down the entire length of her right arm. There was a distinctly red claw mark trailing from the outer edge of her left eyebrow all the way to her chin, a second one from the temple to her neck and the third had clearly almost taken her ear off.

"Remus!" She smiled at him as if they were just meeting outside class and closed the book, putting it on the nightstand. Her gaze slid to the bandage on his neck and the tattered remains of his right sleeve, and she frowned. "Are you alright? You bit your arm didn't you? Maybe the chains weren't such a good idea..."

But he wasn't listening. His eyes trailed down the marks on her face, and he felt as if the air had been knocked out of him. His hand, still clutching the curtains so hard his knuckles were turning white, shook again.

Lisa noticed his distress and gave him a sad smile. "Well, no more strapless dresses for me, I guess. Which is a real shame; I have this really cute white one you haven't seen me in yet. Though I could just buy some of those sleeves they sell separately, I never really saw the point of them until now... And my pro Quidditch career is definitely in the bin." She laughed lightly and tried to lift her arm, almost immediately wincing in pain. "It's okay though, my wand skills are still top-notch." Remus' face turned a very odd shade of green as red flowered on the bandages. "It looks worse than it feels," she tried to reassure him. He sat down in a chair next to her bed with very careful, measured movements. "And hey, now we're a bit more... similar, yeah? We can have one of those 'my scar is bigger than yours' arguments, like Mad-Eye and Gideon," she quipped and reached for his hand, but he jerked away.

"This isn't funny!" he snapped, a bit louder than he'd meant.

Lisa's eyes widened in surprise a bit. "I know that... I was just trying to... you looked like you were going to be sick and..."

"What were you doing in that forest?" he interrupted harshly.

Lisa stared back at him, a little frightened. "I... I saw Piper going there after she left the Shack and... I followed her."

"You followed her?" he repeated flatly, his face hard as stone. "You couldn't for once in your life do something intelligent and tell somebody?"

He said it completely evenly, but Lisa flinched as if he'd brandished a whip at her. "There was no time-"

"That's always your excuse!" he exploded. " _Find_  the bloody time! Or better yet, stop sticking your nose where it doesn't belong!"

Now  _that_  ticked her off a little. "If it wasn't for me, the werewolves could've attacked Hogsmeade! They were also planning to pay a visit to the Shack, for the record! And as you can see, both Piper and I made it out okay!"

"Okay?  _Okay?!_  This is NOT okay!" he yelled and sprang to his feet. "Being a werewolf is not a joke, Lisa!"

Her eyes widened in astonishment again, and she threw a quick gaze around the empty ward. "I know that. But please, quiet down. You'll wake up Piper," she whispered urgently.

"Wake up PIPER?" he shouted again and kicked his chair in rage. " _That's_  your biggest concern right now?"

Lisa shot him a half-shocked, half-reprimanding look, quickly reached for the wand on her nightstand he vaguely recognised as his own, and cast  _Muffliato_  on the other bed and Madam Pomfrey's office. "Calm down. It's not a big deal..."

Remus was so enraged, he couldn't even respond and opted instead to knock down a tray of bloodied instruments that the Hogwarts matron had obviously used on Lisa last night, and then proceeded to hit and break everything that fell under his gaze. Lisa's jaw dropped as she watched him wreak havoc in the ward and thought to herself she agreed wholeheartedly with Benjy.

Remus was scary.

After a few minutes, he stood among the broken parts of a nightstand next to an overturned bed, sheets and pillows rolling at his feet, along with the curtains ripped from the closest window. Remnants of two broken chairs and glass from the shattered night light along the wall cluttered the floor as he panted profusely, his whole body shaking with the effort to contain himself.

"Remus?" Lisa called gently, getting up with considerable effort and approaching him from behind. He was still breathing heavily, but didn't pull away when she placed a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry," she said softly. "Werewolves are not a joke. I was stupid, and reckless, and irresponsible, and I paid the price. But you destroying the Hospital Wing won't change anything. What's done is done."

He turned to look at her, and the storm in his eyes gave way to crushing sadness. How could he live with himself, knowing that if he had just let her go, she wouldn't have to live a cursed life?

Before either of them could do or say anything more, Madam Pomfrey exited her office, carrying a tray of fresh bandages and potions.

She gasped and threw them a reprimanding look. "I realize you've been through quite a scare, Miss Fawley, but I cannot tolerate the destruction of my ward! You sustained serious injuries and need to  _rest!_ "

Lisa's jaw hit the floor. Even though the splinters of the broken nightstand were at  _his feet_ , no one would even venture a guess that it was Remus who broke it! So unfair!

Madam Pomfrey left the tray at a free nightstand and flicked her wand at the mess on the floor. The bed reorganised itself, the wooden drawers flew back into place, and the scattered pieces of various objects rearranged themselves as if nothing had happened.

"You should be ashamed of yourself," the healer continued to scold. "As if poor Miss Spudgen hasn't been through enough... Now sit. The bandages need to be changed."

Lisa shot a quick look at Remus but obeyed and climbed back into the bed, allowing the nurse to unwrap the long white straps around her torso and smear a mixture of dittany and powdered silver on the wounds.

Despite his better judgment, Remus stole a peek over her shoulder and felt his stomach contract painfully. Multiple deep-looking claw marks were etched into Lisa's back and trailed all the way to her waist. Her shoulder also sported a nasty gash, which looked to be more uneven and jagged, suspiciously resembling Apparition splinching. When Lisa extended her arm for the healer to take care of, Remus noticed there was another rough slash there, as well as more claw marks. A light went up somewhere in his empty consciousness. Madam Pomfrey took the old bandages away and told her not to move so her skin could absorb the medicine correctly. He rushed back to the bed, sat at the edge and took Lisa's hand in his.

"Where's the bite?" he asked tensely.

"What?" Lisa said absentmindedly, wincing at the stinging of the potion on her back.

"The werewolf bite. Where is it?"

She stared at him blankly for a couple of seconds. "It's... on  _Piper_. She got bitten last night," she replied, and he felt a wave of emotions rush through his veins, making him lightheaded. Lisa's eyes widened with realisation. "Merlin's pants. You thought I was... because we were both..."

He nodded slowly and closed his eyes with a big sigh, relief flooding his entire being. He felt his head spin and pressed their connected hands to his forehead to centre himself.

"I only got away with scratches," she uttered soothingly, caressing his head. "When I said we'd be more alike I meant... Merlin, I meant we're both scarred now, not that we're both  _werewolves_!"

"I'd say those were a bit more than scratches," he managed to say, kissing the back of her hand.

"They'll heal. Maybe not completely, but there's certainly nothing  _contagious_  in them."

"There's the girl of the hour!" a loud, pompous voice boomed, startling them as a dark-haired wizard in matching black robes, a wide smile and a happy spring in his step entered the ward, escorted by two silent figures, one of which had a familiar scarred face and a magical blue eye, who gave Remus and Lisa a slight nod of acknowledgement.

"Minister!" Madam Pomfrey scolded, returning from her office. "Need I remind you this is a  _Hospital_  Wing?"

"Come now, Poppy, you have no other kids in your care! This is a time to celebrate!" the black-clad Harold Minchum proclaimed loudly again, walking over to Lisa's bed and shaking the bemused girl's hand. "Hello again, Miss Fawley! I hope you haven't forgotten me from the Christmas party last year? Slughorn wasn't lying when he said he expected great things from you, eh? Like grandfather, like granddaughter!"

Lisa and Remus exchanged bewildered looks. They both remembered meeting the Minister for Magic last year, and his insane plans about placing more Dementors in Azkaban. Before anyone could say anything more, Albus Dumbledore walked through the door.

"I didn't expect to see you so early here, Harold. To what do I owe the pleasure of the speedy visit?" the Headmaster asked politely, but it was evident he had been in the middle of something when he got the news.

"Why, the new hero of Hogsmeade, of course!" the Minister exclaimed, beaming. "This little lady saved the Ministry a great many headaches last night!"

"Indeed. Mauled children are always bad for the image," Dumbledore said pleasantly.

"Come now, Dumbledore, you know I didn't mean it like that." Minchum waved his hand as if to get rid of an annoying fly.

"Of course. But I was expecting you in the afternoon, at the earliest. I am currently speaking with Mr. and Mrs. Spudgen in my office, if you would care to join me."

"Oh, yes, the parents of that... girl," the Minister said, trying to hide the distaste in his voice at the last word.

" _That girl_  is lying in that bed." Lisa inclined her head at the only bed with curtains around it, suddenly feeling measurable contempt for the wizard standing in front of her. "And her name is Piper. Piper Spudgen."

"Yes, that poor creature..." The Minister shook his head, seemingly with great gravity. "To think what would have happened to her, if you hadn't bravely gone back into that forest to save her! And with a great risk to your own life! Though some would argue it would have been more...  _merciful_  to..." Minchum fumbled over the right words, playing with the buttons on his sleeves.

Lisa's eyes narrowed to slits. "To leave her to get ripped apart by savage werewolves? If you are ever in that situation, Minister, I will know what course of action  _you_  prefer," she said flatly. "As for Piper, I'm pretty sure she would have chosen  _living_."

"Well, yes... I mean, of course living would be..." The Minister was stuttering, when Sirius, James, Peter and Lily showed up at the door too.

"If you have nothing more to say, Minister, I suggest you speak to the Spudgens. As Madam Pomfrey told you, you are in a hospital, and Piper is not out of the woods yet so she needs to rest, not to listen to your bombastic speeches," Lisa added coldly.

The Minister stared at her in disbelief, as did everyone else, but she didn't give a toss. She didn't want congratulations by careless, bigoted morons.

"Yes, well," Minchum said, rising to his feet, his voice considerably more measured. "I came here to tell you, Miss Fawley, that you have been awarded the Order of Merlin First Class for defending the village of Hogsmeade from werewolves during a Blood Moon. The ceremony will be held on Monday, in the Ministry of Magic. There will be an Auror escorting you to the event. Good day."

He walked briskly to Dumbledore without even a second look back at Lisa's stunned face, and the two wizards left the ward.


	32. Order of Merlin, First Class

On Monday morning, Madam Pomfrey let Lisa go back to Gryffindor Tower so she could get ready for the stupid Award Ceremony. She walked down the seventh floor corridor, wondering if she could get out of it somehow. Her back was still sore, and she felt neither up for Apparition nor for spinning through chimneys. Could she send someone else to accept on her behalf? Then again, she already insulted the Ministry enough...

"Lisa."

A voice snapped her out of her thoughts, and Lisa's gaze met the blue eyes of Dorcas Meadowes, walking by herself. Both of them quickly looked up and down the corridor. They were alone for now, but you never know when someone could walk by. The two girls hesitated, not knowing if they should break the charade or not.

"Why aren't you in class? Won't your prefect boyfriend have to deduct points?" Dorcas said, but the hostility in her voice was lacking.

"I'm... coming back from the Hospital Wing. I thought the rumor mill was already working with full steam," Lisa replied slowly.

Dorcas' brows furrowed with worry. "It isn't. Did Dumbledore send you on another pointless errand?"

"No. I was sort of... attacked by werewolves last night."

Dorcas' eyes widened with horror, and in a second the masquerade was over as the two girls moved to shorten the distance between them simultaneously.

" _Werewolves?!_  When did that happen?" Dorcas hissed.

"Not here," Lisa whispered and pulled her by the hand to the nearest bathroom, locking and muffling the area.

As soon as she turned around, her friend squeezed her in a tight hug and showered her with questions.

"What the hell happened? Are you okay? Where did those werewolves come from? How many where there? How did you get away?"

"First of all, I'm glad to see you too, but please let go. I have a nasty wound on my back."

Dorcas hastily apologised and stepped back. Then her eyes finally registered the left half of her friend's face, and she gasped in horror, moving aside Lisa's blond hair to reveal the ugly scars.

"Looks worse than it feels," the Gryffindor reassured her quickly.

"Tell me everything. From the beginning."

"Are you sure about that?" Lisa smiled sourly. "It will take forever, and some parts aren't very pretty."

" _Everything_."

"Alright then." Lisa sighed and perched herself on one of the sinks. "Remember Piper Spudgen?"

"No. Should I?"

"That girl that was 'batting her eyelashes' at Remus? You said there was something off about her."

"I can't say I recall every girl that's ever flirted with your boyfriend."

"Come on, a petite bird, kinda shrill voice, short brown hair? Somehow got Gott and Avery to attack her, so Remus could sweep in and save the day?"

"Oh, her. Yeah, I think I remember now. What about her? Was she the werewolf?"

"Would you let  _me_  tell the story? No, she wasn't a werewolf. But she was a Death Eater. Voldemort wants every last werewolf he could get his hands on, so apparently he told Piper to sort of...  _persuade_ Remus to his side."

Dorcas raised her right eyebrow skeptically. "Really?"

"Well, who else was going to do it,  _Snape_?"

"Ugh, did NOT need that mental picture! Please continue."

"Anyway, she tried a bunch of things, but fortunately for us, she's an idiot and nothing worked. Actually, one thing almost worked. Remember when he cheated on me a while back?"

"Yes," Dorcas growled through gritted teeth.

"Well, long story short, she charmed him into it. And when I found out, I naturally-"

"Hunted her down and punched her in the face?" Dorcas smirked.

"I was  _about to_ , but she hexed me as soon as I was in range. Didn't even get the time to tell her all the things that were running through my head!"

"Thank Merlin for that. You would've gotten even more worked up, lost it and spend the rest of the year in detention," the Slytherin snickered.

"Will you let me tell the bloody story?!"

"Sorry, sorry."

"So she basically kidnapped me and dragged me to the place Remus uses to transform, because Voldemort apparently got fed up with that plan and decided to use the opportunity to get rid of Dumbledore. He thought that if Remus killed me, the backlash would finally force Dumbledore's retirement and he could take over the school."

"That... would actually be kinda bad," Dorcas admitted.

"Luckily for us, when Piper left me chained up to be Remus' dinner, she forgot to take my wand away."

Dorcas lost it and erupted in a loud fit of laughter that reverberated through the bathroom walls. "Seriously?"

Lisa couldn't help the small grin blooming on her own face. "Told you she was an idiot."

"Now I get why the Order keeps winning battles. There might be ten of us, but at least none of us are mentally challenged!"

"It gets better. After she was supposed to leave me for dead, she was ordered to 'report her progress' to a pack of werewolves, waiting in the Hogsmeade woods."

"Don't tell me she went..."

"She did. Did I mention that was happening about ten minutes before the moonrise?"

"Now I kinda feel sorry for laughing." Dorcas shook her head. "That bird has some serious laps in common sense."

"In that case, I'm even worse." Lisa smiled bitterly. "I followed her."

"... Into the woods?"

"Yes."

"Where there was a werewolf pack waiting?"

"Well, I didn't know they would be waiting, but yes."

"What happened?"

"Um... I distracted them long enough to get away... then I Apparated to Hogsmeade and put up a couple of shielding charms around it... you know, so the werewolves wouldn't kill anyone? I'm actually... supposed to go to the Ministry today to receive my Order of Merlin. First Class."

Dorcas' jaw hit the floor. "No."

"Yes."

"Shut up."

"There will probably be press coverage... Tomorrow's issue of the  _Daily Prophet_ , I'd guess."

Dorcas gave out a girly high-pitched squeal and threw her arms around Lisa happily, at which the Gryffindor yelped in pain. Her friend backed up and apologised again, but was fidgeting elatedly.

"Oh this is so BIG! I'm so happy for you! What are you gonna-" Suddenly, her brows furrowed and her smile faded. "Wait... if you got away and conjured the shield charm... how did you get injured?"

"Er... um, you see... during the struggle Piper's wand got knocked away and..."

"... You didn't."

"She couldn't Apparate without a wand, and the moon was rising..."

"Tell me you didn't do what I think you did."

Lisa gave her friend an apologetic glance, and Dorcas just exploded.

"YOU WENT BACK FOR HER!?"

"... Kind of?"

"And you got mauled?!"

"Erm... uh... I mean, technically..."

"Lisa, have you lost your  _mind_? She was an idiot and a Death Eater! She was  _the enemy_! You went back into a forest full of werewolves for  _her_?"

"What else was I supposed to do, let her die?" Lisa snapped.

"You can't save everyone! This is war; the other side wouldn't hesitate to kill you! What if because you saved her yesterday, she turns around and blows up a house of muggles?"

"I couldn't just leave her! You would have done the same in my place!"

"No, I wouldn't! She's a Death Eater!"

Lisa stared at her friend in disbelief. "Are you telling me you're prepared to kill them? The people you hang around regularly now?"

"Of course I am! If it's a choice between you and them, I'd do it without a second thought!" Lisa gaped at the Slytherin, completely dumbfounded. Dorcas sighed heavily. "Listen. I get that you're a Gryffindor and all, but sheer bravado won't pull us through this. They are murderers, and we're trying to stop them, it's just that simple. If they keep thinning our numbers and we let them off with a Stinging jinx, they'll overwhelm us sooner rather than later. Being in the Order isn't limited to risking your own life. You knew what you were getting into. I know it's hard for you, but if you don't deal with the reality of the situation soon, you might hesitate to say the words and that one person you let live could kill Lupin. Or Potter. Or Lily. Just... think about it. Really think."

Lisa was stunned into silence as Dorcas gave her a light hug and broke the enchantments on the bathroom.

"Congratulations for your Order of Merlin. I'll be sure to check it out in the paper, once it comes out," she said with her hand on the knob and exited.

* * *

oOo

Lisa adjusted her red dress robes grumpily as she waited for the Auror they were sending for her with McGonagall in the professor's office.

"Do I have to go?" she asked unhappily. The last thing she wanted right now was to go to the Ministry and pose for pictures.

"Yes, you do. And I want you on your best behavior! You represent Gryffindor House, and I cannot have you insulting the Minister right to his face. You must at least  _try_  to regain some poise."

"Well, maybe if the Minister wasn't such a bigoted bastard, I wouldn't have to insult him," Lisa growled.

McGonagall was not amused. "Ten points, Miss Fawley," she said sternly. "It seems in seven years I have failed to teach you the simple basics of respect."

"I respect those who have  _earned_  it," Lisa replied defiantly. "And you can't tell me that you would've just stood there when he said that I should've left Piper die, Professor."

McGonagall held Lisa's intense stare for a long minute, before she gestured towards a tartan tin on her desk and said, "Have a biscuit, Fawley." Lisa stared at her in disbelief. She reached in and took one, as McGonagall continued in a low voice. "In times such as these, we are lucky Harold Minchum only has prejudices against werewolves. If he were a Voldemort supporter, the whole Ministry would fall under His control, and offhanded remarks of that sort would be the least of our problems. The Minister is the only thing keeping the government from collapsing in on itself, and regardless of his views, he has not taken open action against any particular group."

Lisa chewed the biscuit slowly, processing what the teacher was saying. "In other words, at least he's not a blood purist?" the Gryffindor said. "That's not much of a consolation."

"Maybe, but Britain could do a lot worse right now," McGonagall said matter-of-factly and Lisa was about to protest, when the door of the office swung open and the smiling head of Frank Longbottom peeked into the room.

"Frank!" Lisa exclaimed, running over to hug her cousin. "What're you doing here?"

"I'm here to take you to your big award ceremony, of course!" he announced cheerily. "Aunt Dawn will want pictures!"

" _You're_  my escort?"

"I had to pull some strings, but I know people at the top," Frank said jokingly.

"Strings? What strings? You've been there barely a year!"

"True, but I'm working directly under the Head of the Office."

"Mad-Eye is Head of Office?" Lisa said, utterly surprised.

"I'll tell you all about it, but we need to get moving. Great to see you again, Professor." He grinned at McGonagall, who gave him a nod.

"Longbottom. Give Augusta my best."

Lisa and Frank walked briskly through the Hogwarts halls, and he asked her for full details. Of course, when she relayed the story he scolded her for being reckless and reminded her that she shouldn't think getting an Order of Merlin was some sort of reward for her idiocy. She told him she understood that perfectly and to illustrate her point, rolled up her sleeve all the way to the shoulder to show him the scars on her right arm. For a second, he looked like he would be sick.

Once they reached Hogsmeade, Frank held her hand and Apparated her to the Ministry's Atrium. Lisa had visited there before with her grandfather on occasion, but she had never seen it quite so crowded. A small podium was erected in the centre, near the The Fountain of Magical Brethren, to which Lisa gave a second look for the first time in her life.

From what she knew of goblins and her recent encounters with centaurs, she realised those magical creatures would never look upon wizards with such admiration. She imagined for a moment a werewolf in that scenario, looking so awestruck at the very people who make their life a living hell and suddenly she felt the urge to just turn around and leave.

The Minister for Magic was standing on the podium with a glass case in his hand, a green ribbon glinting inside it. When he noticed her, his face stretched into what Lisa thought was supposed to be a welcoming smile, but it never reached his eyes. The crowd noticed her as well and cameras flashed from every direction, almost blinding her, but Frank was there to put a protective arm around her waist and guide her over to where the Minister was waiting.

Minchum went on and on about honour and bravery and extraordinary feats, but Lisa was so overwhelmed all she could do was smile awkwardly and pretend she was following the speech. This crowd was very different from the one on the Quidditch pitch. Or maybe it seemed that way because she wasn't engrossed in a game while they were staring at her.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, the Minister handed her the glass case, held it up so everyone could see it and shook her hand as they were bombarded with flashes of light from every direction.

After the whole affair was over and done with, Lisa gratefully stepped off the platform but was immediately crowded by reporters. She only managed to stare at them like a deer in headlights, until Frank came to the rescue once again.

"No comment!" he said firmly to each Quick-Quotes Quill and pulled his cousin out of their range. Soon most switched to swamping the Minister, who warmly announced he would answer any and all questions.

"I didn't know reporters could be so... cut-throat," Lisa said as they were walking away from the swarm of journalists.

"You don't even know the half of it," said a jovial voice behind her, and she whirled around to come face to face with a smiling Seth Tenley.

"Seth!" Lisa exclaimed happily and gave him a quick hug. "I haven't seen you since your graduation last year! You're a journalist?" she said in surprise, eyeing the parchment and quill in his hand.

"Trying to be one, at least." He shrugged, grin growing wider. "It's a hard-knock life out there. Reporting the truth is a dangerous line of work. Half of my pieces get turned down because some editor is too scared to print it. On the other hand, an exclusive interview with the new Hero of Hogsmeade really could make my career..."

Frank gave him an are-you-kidding-me look, but Lisa only threw her head back and laughed.

"Will you pester me for weeks until I agree to that as well?"

"Until Filtch has to forcefully remove me from the castle grounds." Seth smirked. "So what do you say? I'll buy you a drink at the Hog's Head?"

"Make it the Hopping Pot, and you're on." Lisa laughed again, earning a look from Frank.

"May I have a word?" he said and pulled Lisa to the side. "I can't babysit you all day, you know. I have to be back on duty in twenty minutes."

"You don't have to come with us, Frank." Lisa rolled her eyes. "I can take care of myself. And Seth will be there."

"That doesn't make me feel any better! Did you forget he almost poisoned you last year?"

"That wasn't him, remember? He didn't know the candy was poisoned," she reminded him coolly.

"I still don't trust him," Frank insisted.

"I'll send you an owl once I'm back in Hogwarts, how's that?" Lisa suggested with a roll of her eyes.

"... Fine. But if I don't get word before seven, I'm hunting you down."

"You're giving me a curfew?" Lisa exclaimed indignantly. "I'm not a little girl anymore!"

"It's either that or I'm dragging you back to Hogwarts. Your choice."

Lisa stared at him in anger for a few moments but ended up surrendering with a heavy sigh.

* * *

oOo

"This is some  _really_  impressive bit of magic!" Lily was saying around seven thirty, sitting in the Gryffindor common room with the Marauders. "You have to tell me what charms you used to make it!"

"Sorry, Lil. That's a Marauder's secret." James winked and folded the parchment he was holding as Lisa entered through the portrait hole and almost collapsed into the couch.

"I really hate award ceremonies," she grumbled.

Peter craned his neck to have a better look at the glass case in her hands. "Is that it?" he squeaked excitedly.

"Yeah. Go nuts," Lisa said and tossed it over to his lap.

Lily, Sirius and James huddled around to investigate it. Remus moved to sit right next to her and leaned back as well, and they both turned their heads to face each other.

"You look beautiful in red," he said quietly and laced his fingers with hers as the others were fussing over the ribbon.

"You'd say that for every color," she accused him playfully in the same muted tone.

"I'm just being honest." He smiled, but she only rolled her eyes.

"By the way, I ran into Seth today."

"Seth?"

"Seth Tenley. The seventh year Hufflepuff I went out with last year?"

Remus frowned slightly. "The bloke who almost poisoned you."

"That wasn't his fault." Lisa sighed tiredly. "Anyway, he's a freelance journalist now. He interviewed me about Friday night and about the stupid award after the ceremony."

"How  _was_  the ceremony?"

"Confusing. There were flashes of light everywhere; people were talking over each other... Next time I'm faking dragon pox and sending someone to accept it on my behalf."

"Next time?" he asked with a slight smile. "I would have thought one Order of Merlin was enough?"

She chuckled softly and her breath tickled his face. "You're right. It's not worth the hassle. Next time I'll just let the village burn."

"I'm serious," he said as his smile died down and he squeezed her fingers. "Promise me you'll stop taking unnecessary risks. If not for yourself, then for me. Please."

She stared into his eyes for a long moment, and her heart sank as she thought of what it must've been like for him, thinking she was turned. But she couldn't just promise to ignore people in trouble. "Can  _you_  promise me that?" she asked quietly. He stared at her in confusion. "Can you promise me you'd walk away if you saw someone getting hurt?" He didn't reply, but she knew what he was thinking. "War is dangerous, Remus. Not just for us, but for the people we care about." She threw a look at Lily and the Marauders, still fussing over the ribbon. "You can't ask me to stay out of danger, just like you can't ask it of them. And I can't ask it of you. It's just the kind of people we are."

Remus looked at his friends thoughtfully. They were laughing at something James had said, and he thought about how those four people were the best friends he could ever have, and how much Lisa was right about them. Then he returned his eyes to her, and in that instant, he knew she had once again reminded him what was important. She was the voice of conscience, when his own failed him. He smiled slightly and closed his eyes with a resigned sigh, gently caressing her hand with his thumb.


	33. The Engagement

On Wednesday at breakfast, Lisa received an unexpected owl. The big brown Perseus was Hector Fawley's owl, used only to send important Ministry post in the past, and it hadn't been seen in Hogwarts for more than twenty years.

"Who's that from?" Lily asked, eyeing the magnificent bird as Lisa removed the thick, official-looking envelope.

"My grandfather. Probably wants to congratulate me on the Order of Merlin," Lisa said. Did that mean he was finally over the Remus thing?

As her eyes slid down the parchment, her face grew more and more surprised, until finally she threw her head back and erupted in a loud, thunderous laughter. The whole table turned to look at her.

"Did we miss something?" Peter asked as he and the Marauders approached, having finally dragged themselves out of bed.

"Careful, Fawley, you might choke on your toast," James quipped and bent down to give Lily a kiss on the cheek.

"What's so funny?" Remus asked, sitting down next to Lisa.

She forced herself to take a deep breath so she could compose herself. "Oi, James! Catch," the blonde witch said, throwing him the letter.

He sat down between the girls, and his eyes scanned the parchment as his friends also joined them. When he got to the end, he too exploded in laughter.

"Will someone share the joke?" Sirius asked, rather irritated.

"Well, well, well, it seems I am no longer a free man," James said with an amused grin. "Alas, my days of late night explorations and carefree fun are over." Lisa laughed again, tears starting to well up in her eyes. He laughed too, then took her hand in his theatrically. "Let's talk baby names. I want at least five kids, so we can have our own Quidditch team."

"And what would our name be, the Potter Airheads?"

Just then, another owl landed right in front of them, and James reached for the letter. "Yup, my parents too. I guess there's no way out," he quipped. "Should I start calling you 'the old ball and chain'?"

" _Old?_ " Lisa gasped in mock-offence.

Sirius growled in frustration, and Remus reached from Lisa's other side to snatch one of the envelopes. Unlike his friends though, he didn't laugh.

His whole body went rigid and he looked up from the paper, his eyes moving between James and Lisa. "You're... getting married?"

Peter and Lily paled, but Sirius barked a laugh. "I call best man!"

"I'm not sure I want him at our wedding, James," Lisa continued, her body shaking with giggles. "He eats like a hippogriff. Just think of what all our relatives would say!"

"You have a point," James said, stroking his chin and pretending to think it over. "But you know what, in dog form he could be the ring bearer."

"You trust him with small, shiny objects? He'll lose them!"

"That's what summoning charms are for."

"He can't use a wand as a dog, you dimwit!"

"Can I see that?" Lily asked, and Remus silently handed her the letter. "What... does this mean?"

"It doesn't mean anything, Lil." James rolled his eyes playfully and let go of Lisa so he could wrap an arm around the redhead.

"Oh no, it does mean something." Lisa glanced at Remus. "It means my grandfather's finally decided to set me up."

"Hardly." James laughed. "My dad's been building this up since forever. They were always forcing us to spend time together whenever you visited."

"That is true. Oh, remember my seventh birthday? They made us kiss for that picture." Lisa giggled.

"You kissed?!" everyone exclaimed in surprise, and James and Lisa erupted in laughter again.

* * *

oOo

Remus couldn't sleep. He opened his eyes and looked at Lisa's face on the pillow next to him. Both she and James seemed to take those letters lightly, but he knew with purebloods arranged marriages were the norm, rather than the exception. To Remus, family had always been something very important. Could he have the gall to tell her he hoped she disobeyed hers? How much more selfish could he be? He recalled that day in the rain in the Forbidden Forest, and he was once again reminded of what she meant to him. What a life without her was. And seeing her married to his best friend? Someone he couldn't even blame, couldn't even take his frustration out on? It would be hell.

"Say you'll stay with me," he murmured, gently tracing the contours of her face. "Please tell me you're mine."

"Of course I'm yours," she said sleepily. "Do you want me to tattoo it across my forehead?" Her eyelids fluttered open and she smiled at him.

He couldn't help but do the same. "Sorry. Did I wake you up?"

"A little bit."

He continued to caress her face, and she sighed contentedly.

"Was James your first kiss?"

"Remus, we were seven."

He wanted to say something, but thought better of it.

She sighed. "Is this engagement thing bothering you?"

"Shouldn't it?"

"Of course not. It's me and James. We're not getting married."

"Both of your families want you to. And you suit each other..."

"Hold on. Are you telling me you're jealous of  _James_?" He said nothing ,and she looked at him as if he was a clumsy child that tripped over his own shoelaces. "You can't be serious.  _Him_  of all people..."

"And what's so farfetched about that?" he said a bit defensively. "You have fun, you like the same things, laugh at the same jokes, you're both athletes, you've known each other your whole lives—"

"Stop," she said, gently placing a hand on his chest. "Joking and having a good time with someone doesn't mean you should get married. And if you haven't noticed, both he and I are enamored by other people. He can't take his eyes off of Lily, and I can't take my thoughts off of you. You know neither of us will go for any of this 'arranged marriage' nonsense, it doesn't matter how good of a match our relatives  _think_  we are. It's not happening. Okay?"

He nodded, but couldn't bring himself to meet her eyes. She laid a hand on his cheek and kissed him.

"I'm yours," she whispered, lacing the fingers of her other one with his. "And I'll stay with you... forever, if you want me to."

* * *

oOo

It happened on Friday. McGonagall found them after class and told them both their families wanted them to return home for the weekend. Lisa and James barely had time to exchange befuddled glances, when she sent them to pack whatever they needed and meet her in her office so they could floo home. Lisa wasn't even sure what that meant. Home? Her home was destroyed by Death Eaters more than a year ago. Was she going to Low Row? Was it safe there? And if they were calling James back, why was Sirius not included?

"So," he said as they were heading to McGonagall's office together. "You reckon this is about the engagement?"

"Yeah, most likely. How should we go about it, separately?"

"I think it'd be better if we told them right away. My mum'll get all excited and smother me with questions about food and flowers or something."

"So right after we get there, then. Together?"

"United we stand, divided we fall." He smirked and Lisa was momentarily stunned.

"I will give you ten galleons if you can tell me who said that."

His grin grew wider. "Aesop, a muggle philosopher."

"James Potter!" Lisa gasped. "Are you telling me you actually have some...  _culture_?"

"The perks of dating the Head Girl," he said and they both sniggered, entering the office.

McGonagall was waiting for them there, holding a bag of floo powder.

"Now, Potter, Fawley. Your parents have informed me you both shall be going to the Potter estate. I want you back on Sunday evening, and whatever family business you have to attend to will  _not_  excuse you from your homework. Is that clear?"

"Yes, Professor," they said in unison.

James stepped forward, grabbed a fistful of powder and threw it into the fire. Half a second after he spun out of sight, Lisa followed him. As she stumbled out of the fireplace and started beating the soot from her clothes, she heard him coughing. All of a sudden, he sneezed, making his glasses slide down all the way to the edge of his nose. Lisa laughed, causing him to scoop up some ash and throw it at her in retaliation. That made her start coughing too, so she bent down and threw some back at him. Their laughter rang our through the high ceiling of the Potter Mansion, and when it died down, they finally registered that the welcoming committee had arrived.

"They seem to be having a swell time," Hector Fawley commented merrily as he stood by the door frame with his wife.

Mr. and Mrs. Potter were beaming at James and Lisa, practically radiating happiness. The two teens exchanged an awkward glance.

"A-hem, Grandpa, there's something you need to hear..." Lisa started.

"You can tell us at dinner, dear," Mrs. Potter interrupted, smiling at her kindly. "James, will you show Lisa to her room? The guest bedroom on the second floor."

"This won't take long, I just wanted to—"

"Sure thing, Mum," James interjected, taking a hold of her hand.

Her eyes darted down to it in surprise, then rose back to his face and stared at him in disbelief as he pulled her out the door. She let him drag her hastily up the staircase, before jerking away and making him stop.

"What the hell was that!?" Lisa hissed angrily. "We agreed we'd tell them right away!"

"Maybe it doesn't have to be right away," he said defensively, his hand flying up to mess his hair. "I mean, won't it be better to have a change of clothes first?"

"What's the matter with you? What happened to 'united we stand'?"

"Well, united we'll sit. What difference are a few hours going to make?" She shot him an incensed look, and he sighed. "It just... wasn't the right moment, okay? Did you see how happy they were?" He dropped his gaze to the ground. 

Lisa studied him for a long minute. "Fine. But the longer we wait, the worse it'll be. At dinner."

He nodded. "At dinner."

* * *

oOo

Lisa kicked James hard under the table. The dinner they waited for, was an  _engagement dinner_. About an hour after they arrived, family members began flooding in and everyone was wearing their fanciest robes. Frank was shooting them questioning glances over his plate, but thankfully didn't ask anything openly. Lisa's parents were still in hiding, but her aunts Augusta and Aubrey would not shut up about what a good match that was. The wealth of the Potters and the prestige of the Fawleys, and two so compatible young people, in the same house, get along so well, both Quidditch players, both with such bright futures... Lisa wanted to gag. Everyone seemed extremely pleased with this entire ordeal... except the two betrothed.

"See what you did?!" she hissed angrily in his ear.

"How was I supposed to know this would happen?!" he whispered back.

"How are we going to get out of this mess? Half our family members are here!"

"We'll just wait for—"

"If you say 'the right moment', I'll hex you!"

"We can't just announce it in the middle of all this!"

"We have to, now! What are we waiting for, the bloody altar? Or we  _could_  have done it when there were only four people in the room!"

"I said I'm sorry already!"

"Sorry doesn't fix this! You realize we have to embarrass ourselves in front of  _everyone_!"

At that moment, Mrs. Potter reached over and grasped her son's hand, tears gleaming in her eyes. "James, darling, we are so proud. I'm so happy I'll get to see you settled down!"

"And maybe catch a glimpse of grandchildren, yeah?" Mr. Potter joined in with a grin.

"Mrs. Potter—" Lisa started, but again, James cut her off.

"Yeah. Thanks, Mum."

Lisa was about to kick him again, but there was something in the way he held himself that made her stop. "Well, I'm full. James, care for a stroll outside?" she asked, making both him and Frank stare at her in bewilderment.

The 'couple' excused themselves and left the room, accompanied by smirks and happy glances. Once they were safely out of earshot, she made him stop.

"Alright, no more stalling. What's going on? Why don't you want to break this farce off?"

"I just... we don't  _have_  to break it off," he began nervously.

"Don't we?" she asked, her eyebrows traveling up her forehead.

"We... I mean, we could keep it going for a little while! No one said we have to get married tomorrow. We could be 'engaged' for a couple of years. No one will know..."

"Are you hearing yourself right now?" she exclaimed incredulously. He looked away. "James! Look at me, damn it!" His hazel eyes met hers, and she saw a deep sadness in them, something she hadn't expected. "This isn't like you at all," Lisa said softly. "You want to scream from the rooftops you're inlove with Lily Evans. You  _did_  scream it from your broom a couple of times. What's stopping you now?" He was silent. "You haven't told your parents about her... have you?" she realized. James was hiding Lily? That was... inconceivable.

"Lisa... my mother just got out of St. Mungo's two weeks ago. She... had a second stroke," he said thickly. Lisa's eyes widened in surprise, and she threw a look back to the manor. "The Healers... they told me she's getting old," James continued, and she could see how hard it was for him to say those words. "Potions can't keep you alive forever... she... won't survive anything like that again." Something glistened on his cheek in the light of the windows and he turned to the right, hoping she wouldn't see. "I just... want to make her happy. You saw how she lit up when she saw us together. What's the harm in letting her believe it for a little while?"

Lisa just looked at him for a minute and almost considered going through with it. Almost. "James..." she said gently, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Your mother is happy, because she thinks  _you_  are happy. I think you should just tell your parents the truth. They've never been anti-muggle."

"So have your grandparents," James pointed out. "Moony told us about that dinner around Christmas. They don't hate muggles, but when it comes to their own House... The Potters have been pureblood for generations, what if—"

"They'll love Lily," Lisa said confidently, "just like we do. She's smart, and funny, and pretty and—"

"And she's muggle-born," he said bitterly. "I'm in love with a muggle-born."

"I'm in love with a werewolf," she countered with a slight smile. He returned it and laughed lightly, ruffling his hair. "Listen, if it'll make it easier for you, I'll go in and tell everyone I'm 'breaking up' with you. They'll all learn about Remus soon enough, might as well tell them now."

James' brows knitted in a frown. "I can't let you take the heat for everything. It was my fault we waited as long as we did."

"True." Lisa shrugged. "But you have a shot at saving face. I don't."

She made for the house, when he caught her wrist. "Wait. Are you really going to do this?"

"It's already done." She smiled sadly. "I'm not ashamed of Remus, and I'm not going to hide behind you. They've made their sentiments on the matter clear. It's about time I do the same."

* * *

oOo

When James entered the seventh year boy's dormitory on Saturday morning, the Marauders were surprised to see him so early and with such a sullen expression.

"Hey mate. How was back home?" Sirius asked, but the smile fell from his face when he saw his best friend looking slightly rattled.

"We... had an engagement party," James admitted, causing Remus to freeze in the middle of tying the knot on his tie.

"Oh. So... am I still the best man?" Sirius quipped, and to everyone's relief, James shook his head.

"The whole thing is off. Lisa hexed her great uncle Canopus at the dinner."

The three boys gawked at him.

"She hexed her uncle? Why?" Peter asked.

"Because..." James ruffled his hair. "Because he called Remus a half-breed."

Sirius erupted in peals of laughter. Both he and Peter turned to stare at the petrified werewolf.

"Bat-Bogey Hex. Right to the face," James clarified, locking eyes with Remus. "She said she wasn't going to hide anything and almost shouted she was inlove with a half-blood. Canopus wasn't the only one stunned by the news, but he was the most vocal about it. Said some choice words about your muggle mother and what your blood was... things got ugly pretty quick. I think she spent the night at Frank's, her grandfather was simply livid." Remus' hands dropped to his side and he rushed to the door, but James caught his arm in passing. "Moony... she just renounced her entire family for you. Whatever you do... hold on to that girl."

Remus managed a weak nod and James pressed a large piece of parchment to his chest. The Marauder's Map. Remus took it gratefully and flew down the stairs, revealing it immediately and scanning the corridors for her dot. After a few minutes, he found her moving down the fifth floor corridor. He rushed to intercept her, but once he saw her walking along with a tired expression, the words caught in his throat. She saw him across the empty hallway, and her face lit up in a smile.

"Hey," she said casually, walking towards him. "What're you doing here all by yourself?"

"I... I came to meet you," he said, his throat dry as a desert.

"Oh. That's nice of you," she said and slipped her hand into his, heading back to Gryffindor Tower. He wanted to say something, but nothing would come out. "So how was your weekend?" she asked conversationally, as if they were just walking to lunch after Charms. Did James make that whole thing up?

"I helped Sirius with... Did you really hex your uncle?"

He wanted to kick himself. It wasn't supposed to slip out like that!

"That prat opened his big mouth didn't he?" She sighed. "I was hoping I could keep this on the down low... but yes, I hexed that old bat. Those bigoted relics! Muggles are like sheep to them. Animals, harmless enough and sometimes in need of protection as long as it doesn't inconvenience them, but as soon as someone has a child with one, it's bestiality.  _Bestiality_ , that's what he said! Can you believe...!" She had to take a sharp breath and exhale it to calm herself. "Anyway, yes I hexed him. And I'm not sorry, not one bit."

"They're your family," he said quietly.

"No, they aren't." She came to a full stop and turned to face him. "Family supports you and loves you, no matter what. Family accepts you for who you are and is always on your side. Those old relatives I'm forced to speak with once every five years aren't my family."

"What about your grandparents?"

A shadow fell over Lisa's eyes, but she quickly shook it away. "They made their choice. And so did I."

"They'll disinherit you."

"They will. Probably already have."

He looked at her with such overwhelming sadness, even she felt like crying a little.

"I'm not worth all of this."

She smiled slightly and coiled her arms around his neck in a hug. "You are. Not that it matters anymore. I'm yours, remember?  _If all else perished, and_ _you_ _remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and_ _you_ _were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger_."

His arms tightened around her waist and he buried his face in the crook of her neck. He didn't deserve her, but Merlin, he was grateful she chose him.


	34. Have some chocolate, Padfoot

Lily, Lisa and the Marauders walked to the Gryffindor Tower after dinner, joking and having a good time. Climbing through the portrait hole, they spotted Piper, sitting alone in front of the fire, staring into the flames with a sad, thoughtful expression.

"They finally let her out of the Hospital Wing. I guess I should... go talk to her..." Remus mused quietly.

"Over my dead body," Lisa grumbled. "After what she pulled, I'm not letting you anywhere near her."

"She may not have been the nicest person, but she... she needs to talk to someone about what happened to her," Lily threw in.

"I agree." Lisa sighed. "I'll talk with her."

"I don't think you can...  _get into her situation_ ," James said.

"I don't care," Lisa retorted. "I'm not letting Remus close to her."

"Lisa..." Remus slipped his hand in hers and looked her straight in the eyes.

"Fine," she surrendered with a frustrated sigh. "But I'm still going first."

Just as she made a step forward, Lily caught on to her sleeve. "Don't be too harsh on her," she said.

Lisa rolled her eyes and couldn't help but smile. "Lily, how are you  _not_  a Hufflepuff?"

"Her whole life just got turned upside down. Maybe she'll have a change of heart."

Lisa seriously doubted that. "I won't yell at her, if that's what you mean. But I won't be  _sympathetic_. That's what he's here for," she said, inclining her head towards Remus.

"Lisa," he said again, "I think you should let me do the talking on this one."

She looked at him defiantly for a moment, but her irritation gave way to his kindness. "I really hate it when you're right, " she said with a sigh. 

He squeezed her fingers gratefully before leaving the others and approached the girl in front of the fire. Piper didn't even raise her head when Remus neared and sank into the chair next to her.

"What do you want?" the brunette said after he didn't speak.

"To see how you're doing."

"How do you think I'm doing?" Piper snarled. "I'm an abomination!"

Remus' hand reached forward and gently clutched at her wrist. "That's not true."

Piper glared at him and jerked her hand away. "That's easy for you to say! You're used to being a monster!" she hissed. "People will be ready to pull out pitchforks as soon as they find out what I am! I'll never be normal again."

Remus regarded her with a mild smile. "I do not deny that I am a monster. But sometimes, if we're really lucky... even us monsters can find a place in this world." He glanced over at his friends — Sirius and the girls were laughing at a spell James used to summon a box of Bertie Bott's that accidentally stuck a bean up Peter's nose.

"So they all know?" Piper asked quietly. Remus just nodded. "And they're all fine with it?"

"Well, they don't flee just at the sight of me."

"For now. Have they seen you transformed?"

"All but Lily."

Piper whipped her head around and stared at him in disbelief. "They've seen what you are, and they still... they still..."

"They're still here. Yes. I'm not going to pretend and tell you this life will be easy. Prejudice is not easily overcome, and acceptance is hard to come by. But there are people who will be willing to look past that. People who will make you feel... normal again."

"I don't think any of my friends would be this understanding," Piper said bitterly. "And my parents are pulling me out of school. I'm to leave on Monday."

Remus stared at her in disbelief for a minute. "You don't have to leave. There are precautions, arrangements..."

"My mother is sending me abroad. She's convinced the news will spread and everyone will know. She doesn't want me to fall in with a pack."

Remus didn't reply. He understood that sentiment perfectly. "Then perhaps a different country really would be for the best. Voldemort doesn't have that big of an influence overseas."

"Yeah..." she agreed quietly, staring into the flames anew. Remus lingered for a little bit longer, before he made to stand up. "Remus?" Piper called suddenly.

"Yes?"

"You really think... you really think I will... meet people like them one day?"

"I can't promise you anything for sure. I have been extremely lucky. But if five people stopped and gave  _me_  a second look... I don't see why it couldn't happen to you."

* * *

oOo

Sirius exited Professor Flitwick's office after his detention and headed to Gryffindor Tower. He was going to be late for Quidditch practice even if he ran in a mad dash for the dorm, but he couldn't show up without his gear. James would bite his head off, but it was totally worth it. It was a spur of the moment prank, involving some poisonous snails and Dahlia Fleur-Peri's hair. Sirius chuckled to himself, remembering the panic that spread like wildfire among the Slytherin girls and thought James might forgive him if he relayed it with a precise imitation of their shrieks.

Thinking of his usual partner in crime, however, only served to bring a frown to his face. Lately he'd been spending  _way_  too much time with Evans. Sirius wasn't used to having to share James with anyone before. Sure, he'd had a girlfriend here and there, but she was never important enough for him to say ' _Sorry Padfoot, I already have plans with Lily_ '. Plans with Lily! What made  _her_  so interesting? Wasn't he, Sirius, his best friend? And why was he blowing him off? For some bird! Girls were for snogging, not for making plans with! And why was a sodding snogging session more entertaining than planning pranks with your best mate? Between Head duties and her, they barely got to hang out outside of Quidditch practice and class!

Consumed by his thoughts, Sirius wasn't looking where he was going and almost ran right into a group of sixth years leaving Arithmancy.

"Watch where you're going, blood traitor!" someone hissed, and he finally registered he had encountered Regulus and his Slytherin posse.

"And what're you gonna do about it, Parkinson? Tell your daddy on me?" Sirius sneered.

"At least he would hear what I have to say," taunted Patrick Parkinson, a hard-faced boy with a mussed top of black hair and a crooked, arrogant smirk. "Where do you live now that they've disowned you? In a rubbish bin?"

The group of Slytherins sniggered, but Sirius' eyes were glued to his brother. "No actually, I live in a big mansion. With the Potters, I don't suppose you've heard of them? They actually  _don't_  treat their kids like trash."

Some of the Slytherin eyed Regulus, who only half-smiled and raised his eyebrow. "Is that so? And does James Potter openly disrespect his parents and defy them at every turn? If you don't want to be treated like trash, then don't act like it."

Sirius' blood boiled in his veins, and his hand clutched the strap of his bag so hard the knuckles were starting to turn white. "Maybe if our parents weren't such sods, I wouldn't defy them. Or if they, you know, actually acted like parents every once in a while?"

"Oh, so that was your problem all along? That Mum didn't hug us enough?" Regulus sneered.

Sirius was about to draw his wand, when a red glint of hair appeared on his right and stood next to him.

"Don't you lot have somewhere to be? Regulus, there's a prefect meeting in ten minutes. Why aren't you there?"

Regulus sized Lily up from her shoes all the way to the top of her head. "And why aren't  _you_  there?"

"Because  _I'm_  the Head Girl and _you_ are a loudmouthed brat," Lily replied coolly. "Now move it, before I've given you all detention."

The Slytherins exchanged glances but obeyed, muttering insults under their breath. Regulus threw his brother one last contemptuous glance, before turning around and heading to the prefects meeting.

Sirius gave out an exasperated sigh and sat on the stairs, running a hand through his hair. Well, no one could say he didn't try. It wasn't his fault Regulus was incapable of independent thought! Suddenly, a small, warm hand rested on his shoulder and he realized with surprise that Lily had sat down next to him.

"You okay?"

"Aren't you late for a meeting or something?" he barked at her.

"Remus can hold the fort for a little while," she replied, unfazed. "I know it's hard, Sirius... having your own brother look at you like that..."

"What could  _you_  possibly know about my family, Evans?" he snapped irritably.

"More than you think, Black!" she bit back, retrieving her hand. "You think you're the only one with problems?"

"Please," he scoffed. "What problems could Miss Perfect-at-Everything have?"

"My own sister hating me for starters," Lily replied quietly and he turned to look at her. She was staring straight forward, but there was some strange sadness reflected in her eyes. "You think you have it bad? At least you gave your brother a reason to turn against you. I'm hated simply because... I'm born."

Sirius stared at her, completely at a loss for words. He had seen Lily Evans angry, laughing, sarcastic, worried, disgusted... but never had he seen her  _vulnerable_.

"Being called mudblood doesn't even faze me after seven years at Hogwarts," she continued. "I've come to terms with the fact that some people are just bigoted, and that I shouldn't waste my time with every single person that whispers it as they pass me... but when my own sister calls me a freak and looks at me like I'm not... like I'm not  _normal_..."

Lily went quiet, and Sirius just looked at her silently for a long minute.

"Well, at least you have your parents," he said. "The second I got sorted into Gryffindor, my lovely mother began to treat me like the dirt stuck to her heel. Not that it was that much of a change. Her and my aristocratic tool of a father were never the most loving of parents, but back when I was expected to be the Black Heir, they still treated me with something resembling dignity. Now, of course, Regulus is the perfect son, the perfect Slytherin, the perfect Heir..." He had to stop himself, realizing he was beginning to sound a bit bitter. "Not that I care about them. I'd much rather live on the street than having to return to that hellhole. It's not my fault that little prick can't see them for who they are."

They were silent again for a minute.

"Even though she treats me like trash, I still want to be close with her," Lily admitted quietly. "I don't know why. She's always been horrible to me, but...  _she's still my sister_." Sirius looked over at her again and saw the green eyes swimming in tears. She closed them and took three deep breaths. "So yes, I do know a little bit about what it's like to... have a difference of opinion with your sibling." He chuckled.  _Difference of opinion._ "But... you happen to have a  _wonderful_  family." He was about to scowl at her, but she squeezed his shoulder gently, and he saw her face was stretched into a kind smile. "You have three brothers, who happen to love you. You have a big brother, who constantly tries to keep you out of trouble and helps you with your homework. You have a younger brother, who adores you and looks up to you. And you have a twin, who pretty much finishes your every thought."

Sirius stared at her in disbelief. Lisa's words echoed somewhere in the back of his mind: ' _Having common DNA with someone doesn't make you family. Being there for them, taking their side, having their back, that's what makes you family_ '. Before he could say anything more, Lily drew him into a warm hug.

"Well, I really should go," she said after a minute and got up. "Since James decided Quidditch is more important than Head duties, the whole thing fell on my shoulders. Later."

He watched her leave and just stood there on the stairs for a few more minutes, thinking things over. Who knew even the life of perfect prefect Evans wasn't all sunshine and lollipops?

* * *

oOo

Sirius walked into the common room about an hour later and practically collapsed into one of the squishy armchairs next to Lisa's.

"Why aren't you at practice?" Lisa asked without even lifting her gaze from her book.

"Prongs is going to kill me," he groaned and reached for the bar of chocolate on the table next to her hand.

"Get your own," she said, pulling it out of his reach. "And get in friggin line. I'm pretty sure he wants to murder me now. I heard he got into an argument with McGonagall about my not playing in the Championship and she told him it was my choice and not his."

Sirius groaned again and dragged his hands down his face. "Great. Just perfect. I am so dead."

Lisa finally looked at him over the cover of the book and sized him up. "What'd you do?"

"I got detention."

"... And? Is there a week when you're  _not_  in detention?"

"Got it from Vector. You know how she supports Ravenclaw..."

Lisa closed the tome suddenly.

"No."

"Yes."

"You're right. James  _will_  kill you. Would you like me to write a poem for your epitaph?  _Here lies the idiot Sirius Black, for getting into trouble he always had a knack, until one day he gave his captain a heart attack, and—_ "

"Alright, already! I messed up, I get it! Like it wasn't punishment enough to listen to McGonagall go on and on, I swear I was there for twenty minutes before she got done lecturing me on why I shouldn't turn other students into ferrets," Sirius piped up, and she shook her head with a chuckle.

"You must've known James would lose it if you pulled something so close to the finals. Why'd you do it?"

He mumbled something about bloody Slytherins and crushing their skulls to bone powder, as Lily and Remus climbed through the portrait hole together and headed their way.

"How was the prefect meeting?" Lisa asked, as the two of them sat down with tired sighs.

"It's hard coordinating them without James," Lily admitted, leaning back into the sofa. "He always did better at getting them to listen. I swear, some of these fifth years are so disrespectful! We were  _not_ like that at fifteen!"

Lisa and Sirius exchanged glances.

"I'm sure  _you and Moony_  weren't." Sirius sniggered. "But the rest of us still are. Fawley insulted the Minister for Magic only a few weeks ago..."

"... And Sirius got in trouble today," Lisa finished for him.

"Again?" Remus asked amusedly, eyeing his friend, and Lily turned to him too.

"I ducked in the loo on the way here. Emma told me what you did, Sirius. You really didn't have to, you know. I can take care of myself."

"Yeah, well," Sirius mumbled, looking down at his shoes. "It wasn't a big deal."

Lisa and Remus exchanged glances and looked at him suspiciously.

"What did he do?" Remus asked Lily, who was already getting up.

"He heard some Slytherins saying it was a disgrace to have a muggle-born as Head Girl."

"Only they didn't use the word 'muggle-born'," Sirius grumbled.

"I've been dealing with rubbish like that since I set foot in Hogwarts," the redhead said, making her way over to his chair. "Still, it was sweet of you to defend me," she added, bending down and giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to draw up the patrols chart. Alone." She sighed and headed to the girl' dormitories.

Lisa and Remus turned to stare at Sirius again.

"What?" he snapped.

"... Have some chocolate, Padfoot," Lisa said with a faint smile and pushed the candy towards him.


End file.
